Thoughts on tipping

[JulianN]

I wasn’t really talking about etiquette – it’s more that the poster to whom I was replying indicated she wouldn’t have been aware of tipping percentages as a child. I was explaining that, because of a possibly different childhood experience, I was more aware of tipping percentages than another child might have been.

I agree that regional differences could be at play. I asked a few friends who grew up in the midwest U.S., as I did, and no one can remember a time when tipping was less than 15%. And many of them worked as wait staff in the early 1970s when we were in high school.

 

[Convert3]

I remember in the Air Force it was common to go out for a meal with several others. Some would insist on separate check and calculate the tip they wanted to give to the penny. Others just split the check equally and threw money in for a tip, usually ending up being generous. Personally, I just do quick math to calculate a tip of 20% and round it up to the nearest dollar. If my grandkids are with us, I make it 30% because of the extra mess to clean up. If there is particular bad service such as chatting with a coworker while my food gets cold waiting to be delivered, I’ll lower the tip, but never stiff.

 

[Polak]

It’s an awesome practice! It encourages wait staff to offer good service to earn better tips.

Not really, since tipping is seen as something you are supposed to do now, rather than do, if you get good service. The service can be average, and I would still be looked at badly if I didn’t leave a tip.

As @Tis_Bearself said, the service at places where there is no tipping, is often good to. It’s certainly no worse than at many restaurants. What is motivating them if not a tip? How about just, this is your job and in this job you should treat your customers well, because that’s what is expected of you by your employer. Many people in various jobs offer good customer service and don’t require a tip to motivate them to do it. Why isn’t it the norm to get good service. Why do people who bring you your food in a plate desere extra for their service?

 

[humbleseeker]

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve never worked in the food service industry. Next time you’re at a sit down restaurant with wait staff I’d suggest talking with the floor manager or management staff and ask their opinion on abolishing the tipping system. I think you’ll be surprised at the razor thin profit margins most restaurants run on and the ruinous effect having to pay wait staff a living wage, without the benefit of tips, would have on them. Of course this added cost could be passed on to the customer, but I’d wager those who balk at leaving a 20% tip aren’t going to pony up an extra 10+ dollars for the cost of their meal. Because now you’re not only having to cover the hourly wage of the waiter at your table, you’re also having to chip in for the hourly wages of every other waiter you see buzzing around.

 

[JanR]

The following changes should be made to tipping etiquette:

1. Tips are to be EARNED. Nobody is automatically entitled to them.
2. No business should force its employees to pool their tips. If a server is good enough to EARN a tip, he or she should be allowed to keep it. I feel it should be made illegal to force employees to pool their tips. That’s really an unethical labor practice.
3. No business that hires employees should be exempt from paying minimum wage.
4. The CUSTOMER gets to decide how much to tip, NOT the establishment.
5. We need to change this entitlement mentality in our culture. Bonuses are tips should be based on merit, not just because it’s “customary”. By the same token, employers need to play fair. Perhaps employees wouldn’t feel so entitled if they were treated better. Maybe THEY view it as just standing up for their rights.

When I was working as a waitress in a small cafe, I was paid minimum wage and I got t keep my tips. That’s only fair. And I felt that it was up to the customer to decide if he or she wanted to tip. I always tried to give the best service possible, but I also knew I couldn’t please everyone. There would always be some customers expecting the impossible, and refusing to tip if they didn’t get it. That’s life … I did my work and moved on.

 

[Sunbreak]

I grew up in the Midwest too and tipping was definitely 10% for ordinary service. This was in the early 1970s.

 

[Cruciferi]

You’re absolutely right

 

[blackforest]

Building on this, I’ve read about some restaurants that have eliminated tips altogether with excellent results. Consumers initially balk at the “higher” prices, (not actually “higher” when you no longer have to tip), but love the service! When servers aren’t competing for tables, there’s a greater spirit of teamwork.

In an ideal world, people would tip based on the quality of service. The reality doesn’t always work that way. My husband tips out of guilt - often far too much and for poor quality service. And then my friend, an ex-server/waitress, can tell you horror stories about people from a Baptist Church leaving behind tracts instead of tips! (Forehead-slap!) Tipping is very subjective and not always rational.

ETA: MdD’s was my very first high school job. I gave good service for the simple reason that I didn’t want to be a jerk to people. The underlying notion behind tipping - that people only perform well if you wave paper bills at them - is somewhat cynical.

 

[SMHW]

In general I agree that tips should go to the person who is waiting on the table.

But the problem is that in many of the restaurants I frequent, there is more than one person who is servicing my table. The host or hostess takes me to the table and may take drink orders. The waiter or waitress takes my order and occasionally checks to see if I need anything but it is someone else that delivers the drinks and food. Sometimes there are multiple people delivering the drinks and food. There is yet another person who is busing the dishes when I am finished. This person may also be asking if I need anything further (although if it’s anything other than water they usually just pass that information along to the waiter/waitress.)

You might get excellent service in a restaurant like that but it doesn’t seem entirely fair that the waiter or waitress gets it all because the host/hostess, bartender, servers, busers, (maybe even the cook) were all there at your table doing something for you.

 

[JulianN]

I grew up in the Midwest too and tipping was definitely 10% for ordinary service. This was in the early 1970s.

Ok, to narrow it down, in Michigan and Ohio in the early 1970s, it was 15%. In other parts of the Midwest, it may have been different.

 

[Convert3]

The amount I tipped in my life has been directly related to my own financial state. I tip more now because I can.

 

[Peeps]

It’s interesting that people in other parts of the country find that tipping doesn’t motivate wait staff, and McDonald’s employees are friendly and helpful.

In my city, it’s obvious that the wait staff is working very hard to earn their tips. A few nights ago I took my music teacher out to dinner at a “nice” restaurant, and when he asked the waitress about wine, she recited a list of at least 12 different wines and described them to him. I was amazed! I don’t think I could recite the 8 soft drinks that McDonald’s serves (and I drink a LOT of soft drinks.)

And she was helpful in many other ways, too, and a good salesperson. I had no intention of getting a dessert, but she really pitched it well, and both of us ended with desserts that we loved.

Meanwhile at all of the McDonald’s that I frequent several times a week, I often get the impression that the counter staff is on some kind of drugs–I can give my order: “Cheeseburger, small fries, large Coke,” and they will repeat to me, “Big Mac, Large Bacon Fries, and a Chocolate Shake.” What?! And at least once a week, I wait and wait and WAIT for my order, and when I finally go up to ask, they say, “We don’t have your order in the computer.” What!!!

Of course, perhaps the McDonald’s staff is so terrified of being robbed or worse that their brains are not working correctly. Or more than likely, since most of them are older adults, they are exhausted from working three or more jobs to make ends meet.

 

[Pattylt]

…and don’t go through the drive up! They get it wrong almost every time. From missing orders, forgetting they had you pull into a parking spot to wait or just giving you the order of the next person in line (which is all I can figure out from what I wind up with), the drive ups are a disaster.

 

[JanR]

I think those situations are the result of just not listening. They could be overworked and underpaid, tired, or just so jaded they’ve stopped caring. Some of them, being older, may not hear well. But a lot of it is failure to listen.

Hubby and I have run into this at more than one fast food place. I ask for a hamburger with everything on it except onions, and I get it plain with nothing on it, or they put the onions on that I specifically asked them not to, or it comes with cheese, even though I didn’t ask for a cheeseburger

I recall one small restaurant where I asked for a salad without shredded cheese (they put that on small dinner salads in some places), and it comes with shredded cheese on it, anyway. I am dairy intolerant, and I have to make them bring me another one, without cheese.

Listening seems to be a lost art these days. A lot of problems could be prevented if these folks would JUST LISTEN.

 

[dochawk]

We didn’t leave any tip, and they didn’t deserve one.

Two cents is the traditional amount to show that you didn’t forget to tip, but rather decided that it was uncalled for . . . and even better when on a credit card slip that the boss sees–nothing could be either forgetful or a cash tip, while two cents has clear meaning . . .

Yeah, I don’t mind tipping hairstylists, tattoo artists etc.

I am sure not tipping someone that just stabbed me repeatedly! Punch in the face, perhaps, but . . .

I always wonder who gets the tip for food delivery services like DoorDash, Grubhub and Slice, if you include it on the credit card when ordering online. Does it go to the restaurant staff or to the driver?

It can vary.

Recently there was a kerfuffle when one of these had guaranteed a certain amount of wage plus tip per hour, topping off to that amount when dips didn’t do it. It was presented to the press, though, as “taking” the tips . . .

The one that drives me nuts is pizza delivery.

I always used to tip, but tip and delivery fee is either/or.

Besides, the last pizza I had delivered was delivered cold, even though the place was less than a quarter mile away. (and that was a decade or more ago, before the double-dipping)>

I now pick them up myself, or go somewhere else.

Personally, I just do quick math to calculate a tip of 20% and round it up to the nearest dollar.

That’s what I do. and I don’t calculate how much is which; I just fill out the bottom line after rounding up.

 

[F_Marturana]

I think including a service charge to the check and paying the servers a living wage is a good idea.

The restaurant then deals with poor servers like anyone alse does with poor workers.

My dad was in the food industry, he was a butcher and cheese maker. Part of his day was counter service. There weren’t any tips. Except maybe at holiday time, frequent customers might have given him a card. Just because he wasn’t working for tips didn’t mean he could be grumpy and slow with the customers.

I worked as a receptionist. Part of my job was to answer the phones (no voicemail back then). I had to be courteous and efficient. No tips.

 

[7_Sorrows]

My Dad was in the grocery business and worked as a butcher for many years.
He worked long hours and also did catering for the store for parties. He never got tips either. He knew everyone in town though and was well liked by many.

I also worked as a receptionist, a teacher and a door greeter - never got any tips no.matter how friendly or helpful I was.

 

[JanR]

But, were you paid below minmum wage? If you were a teacher and a receptionist, you probably were salaried. Not all jobs are typically tipping jobs. Most people who sign onto them know that.

 

[7_Sorrows]

All of my jobs were salaried.

 

[Polak]

I have had friends who worked in kitchens, and rude people run the risk of various bad things happening to their food. Nothing that would put anyone in the hospital, but enough that I know not to be rude to those who work in restaurants.

That isn’t okay and is actually another reason I generally don’t like eating out. It’s blackmail, that if you don’t keep the staff happy, they’ll mess with your food. I would consider this a ‘cardinal sin’ the food world. No matter how rude somebody was to me, I wouldn’t have it in me to ‘do something’ to their food.