Thoughts on tipping

[Cruciferi]

Probably not It’s course and very hard to work with. I gave up trying to wrangle it

 

[Irishmom2]

Then it’s worth the 20% tip!

 

[JulianN]

I live in the Midwest US. We went out a lot when I was a child and expected tipping was 15%. Now it’s 20.

 

[SMHW]

When I was growing up, 15% was considered the “normal” tip for a full service restaurant but 10% was considered OK for places where you order at a counter but the server brings you the food and and perhaps refills drinks. Now 18% seems to be the minimum.

Also, the minimum wage rules vary by state. California has the same minimum wage for all occupations; we don’t have a lower rate for restaurant servers. We still tip but it’s not due to some wage disparity.

 

[Pattylt]

So, the big question is, How can we change this tipping culture?

If you could gain enough followers the in states that already pay minimum wage should reduce their tips…perhaps down to 5 or 10% to reflect that they aren’t totally dependent on tips. States that don’t pay minimum should be pressured to do so…work to change the law!

I’m not sure why restaurants were excepted from minimum wages in the first place? I’m sure in the olden days people probably didn’t tip or a very small amount if they did. Are restaurants the only businesses that are exempt from paying minimum wages and is it due to tipping? How on earth can we intentionally change this tipping culture? All I can think of is if most people stopped eating in restaurants and when asked said it’s the ridiculous tipping…I’d bet restaurants would pay higher and install signs saying No Tipping Allowed. I’d eat there as long as food and service were still good. Any solutions?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

So, the big question is, How can we change this tipping culture?

I remember reading about one restaurant chain in USA that simply raised servers’ wages and implemented a “no tips” policy. I think that would be best. One reason I think that is because even when one does pay the tip, there are places where the owner takes all or most of the tip for himself, particularly if you tip on your credit card vs cash the server can put in their pocket. I rarely carry or pay in cash.

Regarding exception from minimum wage, many restaurant server jobs were not originally intended to be jobs one would take to support oneself or one’s family. They were intended to be jobs for students and others who were planning to eventually get a “real job” or otherwise only work temporarily, with the exception being the top class of pro servers who worked in upscale restaurants where they were paid more and also got large tips. Unfortunately over time many restaurants that arent upscale have taken to hiring people who actually rely on the job to support themselves and their families, so they are more in need of a minimum wage, benefits etc.

 

[DeniseNY]

I think I once read a piece that made the argument that if tipping were abolished and servers were paid a higher hourly wage, they could actually end up making less money. I vaguely remember this. Not sure if anyone else has heard/read the same thing. I don’t know enough about the issue to say whether or not this is true.

I usually tip around 20%. The service has to really be bad for me to go lower. For my hairstylist, I generally tip more because I think her work is worth more than she charges.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Yeah, I don’t mind tipping hairstylists, tattoo artists etc. That is a skilled job and you’re getting personal service, so no chance of the hairdresser ignoring you while doing hair for six other people at the same time.

 

[Pattylt]

I always tip in cash if at all possible. It’s the only way I feel assured that the tip goes to whom I want it to go to.

Do you know if that restaurant was or is successful? I’d love seeing more of those types… I’m with you on eating at restaurants very often. We seldom go though tipping isn’t one of the main reasons. It’s mostly because I just like my cooking better . The cost of the meal plus the tip just isn’t justified compared to my purchasing of top quality foods and fixing it just the way we like it. We do go on special occasions where there are eight of us and it’s a birthday or anniversary and yes, having no clean up is lovely! Also, many restaurants will not take reservations these days. Well, eight people walking in and getting a table in a timely manner is really a problem. I certainly don’t enjoy sitting on a hard bench for over half an hour or more waiting for a table!

Wen our mid size city hit the economic downturn, quite a few nice restaurants closed their doors. I miss the many choices we used to have and certainly understand the economics of closing but they never came back even though Colorado is booming now. It’s a tough business to be in and if tipping issues are keeping customers away, I think they should try some innovative ideas…such as No Tipping!

 

[Convert3]

I always wonder who gets the tip for food delivery services like DoorDash, Grubhub and Slice, if you include it on the credit card when ordering online. Does it go to the restaurant staff or to the driver?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Do you know if that restaurant was or is successful? I’d love seeing more of those types

I think the chain I was thinking of is Shake Shack. Joe’s Crab Shack tried to eliminate tips too but it only lasted a few months, then they went back to tipping.

There’s been a lot of individual restaurants try it also but many of them had to go back to tipping because the higher prices decreased business and their best staff quit and went someplace else where they could make tips. These are mostly restaurants on the slightly upscale side in places like California and NYC, they aren’t local diners.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

With Grubhub, the tip for the driver goes to the driver. I think the “delivery fee” goes mostly to the restaurant and Grubhub. There have been cases of Grubhub delivery drivers basically yelling at customers if they do not give a big enough tip. Especially if the distance is on the long side because the driver apparently has to pay for his gas and stuff.

 

[blackforest]

Why do only some services get tips? Who decides this?

I haven’t read all of the replies but can give one weird example.

I worked as a barista in the 90s, spending my days steaming lattes and mochas. I made just a little above minimum wage, and we had a tip jar that was completely optional. There was no set amount to tip, and no obligation, but people would put in anything from change from a coffee transaction to a couple of generous bucks.

Fast forward to today, and tipping coffee shop baristas seems much more obligatory. The other day, I rang up my debit card and the screen asked if I wanted to add a tip. My choices ranged from 20%-35%.

Excuse me? The customary tip for restaurant servers - you know, those people who work up a sweat going back and forth to your table catering to your every last request? - is 18% for good service. Now we have baristas, who don’t expend nearly as much energy and make at least minimum wage, demanding a minimum of 20%? Something about this doesn’t seem right to me . . .

 

[7_Sorrows]

I live in the Midwest US. We went out a lot when I was a child and expected tipping was 15%. Now it’s 20.

I also grew up in the midwest. And as a child, I wouldn’t have understood tipping or percentages. However, as an adult in the midwest and later the southwest
it was always 10% until maybe the mid-90’s. Occasionally, I will tip 20%, but only if it might be a favorite server I have in a restaurant I frequent regularly.

 

[Peeps]

So employers are allowed to pay servers less than minimum wage in the US because customers are expected to make it up with tips? That seems a bit of an odd law.

It’s an awesome practice! It encourages wait staff to offer good service to earn better tips.

Think about the difference between getting food at a McDonald’s (no tipping allowed) and a local restaurant where tipping is the rule.

A McDonald’s employee has no motivation to provide fast, friendly, and knowledgeable service because they will receive the same wage even if they are slow, unfriendly, and barely know how to do their job.

But an employee at a local restaurant is highly motivated to provide the fastest, friendliest, and most knowledgeable service that they can, and in fact, they are motivated to go above and beyond and do things like sit for a moment and chat with a lonely senior citizen, or compliment a family on their children’s good behavior, or remember the quirky preferences of regular customers (e.g., at one of the restaurants where I frequently dine, the wait staff knows to bring me a Diet Coke right away!).

My family ALWAYS tipped BIG for good service! My dad especially would give far above the 20%, and so does my brother. And I routinely give 25% for really good service.

In fact, I don’t ever “undertip.” If I receive “bad” service in a restaurant, I wait until I have finished my meal (if I even get my meal!), I leave at 10% tip, and on my way out, I ask to speak with the manager. I write down my observations about the sub-par service and allow the manager to deal with his under-performing employee.

I don’t do this because I want to “stick it” to the under-performer and get them fired (I would never do this in my city–I don’t want to become a statistic!).

I do it so that the under-performer will learn better skills and do a better job so that he/she can earn the high tips and bring home a better wage. I WANT people to succeed, not continue to limp along and never improve their skills and their life situation.

That’s the value of tipping–it encourages hard work and self-improvement and to develop initiative to constantly better yourself. A guaranteed wage doesn’t motivate anyone to do anything other than the bare minimum.

 

[Mrchatsworth]

Why is it my responsibility to decide what the wages of those involved with my meal are? Isn’t that something a restraunt should do? Perhaps I should prepare my own meal too!?

 

[JulianN]

Perhaps you had a different childhood experience—my father took us out to dinner fairly often, and spent time explaining things like use of different pieces of silverware, etc. He discussed the tip often, so we’d understand what was expected, and what was above and beyond.
According to the Wall Street Journal, the standard tip in the US hasn’t been 10% since the 1950s.

 

[JulianN]

Why is it my responsibility to decide what the wages of those involved with my meal are? Isn’t that something a restraunt should do? Perhaps I should prepare my own meal too!?

They should, but don’t. And until they do, part of the expectation of dining out is to tip the staff.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Think about the difference between getting food at a McDonald’s (no tipping allowed) and a local restaurant where tipping is the rule.

A McDonald’s employee has no motivation to provide fast, friendly, and knowledgeable service because they will receive the same wage even if they are slow, unfriendly, and barely know how to do their job.

Yet, in my experience I often get excellent friendly service from McD’s and similar fast food employees. It’s especially awesome because as you said they do not get anything extra for being friendly and helpful and good to deal with. I don’t know what’s motivating them, but it’s not a tip. And conversely, I don’t see wait staff or baristas or whoever being motivated by tips. It’s become a matter of them just expecting to get one, and it better be 20 percent, because they’re low on the economic totem pole and we’re supposed to understand that and help them out, like charity, I guess.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Perhaps you had a different childhood experience—my father took us out to dinner fairly often, and spent time explaining things like use of different pieces of silverware, etc. He discussed the tip often, so we’d understand what was expected, and what was above and beyond.
According to the Wall Street Journal, the standard tip in the US hasn’t been 10% since the 1950s.

I think it’s clear from the fact that multiple people have posted here that there was a regional and perhaps a cultural difference in tipping expectations all through the 1960s and 1970s.

It’s not like our parents didn’t teach us how to properly go out to dinner. The tip was 10 percent right up through when I was in college. I went out to many dinners, including with my friends as well as my family, and if you were tipping 15 percent it was because service was really good.

I was living in an economically depressed area at the time, not New York City, and many if not most people did not have a lot of tip money to throw around, especially if it wasn’t an upscale dining establishment they were patronizing but rather the local diner, bar/ restaurant, chain restaurant etc.

Sometimes you just have to accept that others have different experiences and that “journalism” does not always reflect the actual experience of people in real life. And it’s not because our parents didn’t train us in restaurant etiquette.