Thoughts on tipping

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If someone has really had horrible and undeserved service, leave a penny tip. This is a clear signal that you had bad service but make sure it wasn’t the waiters fault…ie. Slow isn’t their fault, it’s usually a kitchen problem. But, if they were verbally abusive, tell the manager. They don’t want wait staff like that no matter how bad a day the waiter had.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard those outside the US being confused over tipping etiquette. We do seem to be unique in our tipping practices and the laws around tipped jobs. I’d much prefer a service charge rather than tipping and wait staff payed a living wage. Then if your service was outstanding you could leave some extra…but, it is what it is!

Every time the wages of staff are brought up, restaurants wail and moan that they’d go out of business. Somehow, I think they’d figure it out…and maybe some of them should close!
 
And tip on just the food amount, not the tax?

I am so ignorant on this.
 
Tip on the food and drinks is just fine. Sometimes it’s just easier to calculate on the total but the difference between the two amounts is negligible.
 
What I object to is mandatory tipping. That is, the tip is arbitrarily added onto your restaurant bill, whether you like it or not, at a predetermined percentage as set by the establishment, regardless of the quality of service you received. Of course, they tell you up front it’s their policy to do this, and that gives the customer the choice of eating at that restaurant or going somewhere else.

I don’t mind tipping voluntarily when the service has been excellent, but I have the right to decide that, and how much, NOT the business.

Also, tipping to compensate for pay that is lower than minimum wage is hogwash when employees are forced by the establishment to pool their tips instead of being allowed to keep them. I’ve always thought that’s grossly unfair.

The only time tips actually compensate for sub-minimum wage pay is when the servers are allowed to keep their tips which, after all, they’ve EARNED.
 
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Here’s an example where a tip wasn’t warranted, and therefore wasn’t given:

Hubby and I were returning from a cross-country trip, and we stopped to eat at a small cafe in Kansas. We sat down and the server came right away and took our order. That part was fine.

But then, every customer who came in after us and ordered got their food right away, while we were still having to wait for ours. And our order was simple – something that shouldn’t have taken long to prepare.

We sat there and watched everyone else eat who had entered the cafe after we had, while our food never came. It soon became obvious they were catering to the local customers and ignoring us because we were from out of town.

Finally, after everyone else was served and had left the restaurant, WE finally got our order! We were the very last customers to be served their meal, and it was blatantly clear we had been repeatedly passed over simply because we didn’t live there.

We didn’t leave any tip, and they didn’t deserve one.
 
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For me, when that happens, your server should be aware and realize there is a problem that you and your husband are sitting there with no food after so many
minutes of arriving. So your server should have checked on your order. You don’t
say what you ordered, but the waiter or waitress was not doing their job.
That happened to me one time and I finally approached my server and somehow my ticket was misplaced. I notice many places now enter the orders in a computer. The Mom and Pop restaurants maybe still hang the paper orders in front of the cooks.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Rude servers or those who neglect customers (perhaps certain categories of customers) in favor of other customers are not among the “problems in restaurants not caused by the server”. And there are quite a few rude and neglectful servers out there.
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I try to be very patient with those servers… But if it’s really bad they’re not getting tipped.
Convert3 said:
There are also many rude customers that give servers a hard time or are disrespectful.
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I worked 5 years inside a pizza shop. Rude customers were a daily occurrence.

Particularly obnoxious customers would usually get less toppings whereas respectful customers got a little extra.
 
I have had friends who worked in kitchens, and rude people run the risk of various bad things happening to their food. Nothing that would put anyone in the hospital, but enough that I know not to be rude to those who work in restaurants.
 
JanR said:
We sat there and watched everyone else eat who had entered the cafe after we had, while our food never came. It soon became obvious they were catering to the local customers and ignoring us because we were from out of town.

Finally, after everyone else was served and had left the restaurant, WE finally got our order! We were the very last customers to be served their meal, and it was blatantly clear we had been repeatedly passed over simply because we didn’t live there.

We didn’t leave any tip, and they didn’t deserve one.
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Yeah, the “pandering to the regulars” is a HUGE problem in some places.

Yours is an extreme case, but there are plenty of servers who will waste a lot of time chatting with their regular customers whom they know and are obviously friends with, and probably get tips from every week, and pretty much ignore the person who is from out of town, or doesn’t go to restaurants much, or is by themself and not with a table of five people who are all going to contribute to the tip. It’s basically sending a message, “don’t eat here unless you’re a regular”.
 
I don’t like tipping either. When I was younger, the standard tip used to 1be 10%. So, how did it magically rise to 20%? It’s ridiculous. In my state, wait staff gets full minimum wage instead of a lesser amount that’s expected to be made up to full wage by tip credits. So they are already getting $12.50/hr in this city. So any tip is on top of that.
 
I think it may have varied by area. I was taught 10 percent was standard and tipped that until I was in my late 30s, and I am younger than you.
 
There is a Chinese buffet restaurant near us. The waitress takes our drink order and brings it. We serve ourselves. They walk past the table and pick up empty plates. People do not usually tip for the most part.

One day, a waiter followed us to the door to tell us we did not leave a tip. We did not go back and leave a tip. We left the restaurant (in a strip mall) and were going next door to Staples. We stopped to look at some things they had for sale outside and the waiter came outside and was staring us down!

At first I was surprised and thought I would probably not want to go back there to eat again. And then I thought, no. If it happens again, I would ask for the manager and report his “harassment” of us, and inquire where the “mandatory tipping” sign is.
 
Irishmom2 said:
If it happens again, I would ask for the manager and report his “harassment” of us, and inquire where the “mandatory tipping” sign is.
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I went to have my car detailed about two years ago. I walked in and and they made me prepay and tip before they started! That, in my opinion, was completely inappropriate. They even listed the suggested tips 15%, 20%, and 30%. So, here I am stuck knowing that the detailer will see his tip before even working 🤨

I think that there’s a real misunderstanding about tipping. Nobody’s entitled to it! We had multiple delivery drivers at the pizza shop who’d complain the entire shift about tipping. Finally, one of our Managers said, “Look, if things are that bad maybe you should get another job!”.
 
JulianN said:
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Sunbreak:
I don’t like tipping either. When I was younger, the standard tip used to 1be 10%.
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That was a long time ago, then. I am older than 60, and it was 15% when I was a child.
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I am not sure where you lived as a child, but I am over 60 too and I am sure when I was a child tipping was not 15% because I can remember as an adult when it
was only 10%.
 
I just calculated it. I get my haircut done at GreatClips and I tip 20%. I almost always get a fabulous haircut 😊
 
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