Question: My wife and i know at least one couple who have had 12 children in their 13 year marriage (ultra traditional Catholics); we feel that spacing our children at least 18months apart would be appropriate given our circumstances and that’s where natural family planning comes in.
Cheers-
Paradox,
I am wondering why you are considering spacing your children so early in your marriage. You don’t have to answer that! What I mean is that your fertility is a gift from God, and there will be limits to it. You may find the conception of your first child happened very quickly, but that may not be the case down the road. Bear with me and I’ll give you a short history of the women in my family.
My great grandmother had 8 children, 5 survived. Back in the old days children were “necessary”. There were jobs to fill and much manual labor to do, so having a large family was a literal God-send. She accepted as many children as Our Lord wanted to give her. There were days when all my grandma had to eat was a piece of bread with lard on it. But you know, they survived.
My grandma, who is 90, had two children. She had my mother on her first wedding anniversary. The next child came 20 years later. She prayed and prayed for another child, never stopped, and lo’ and behold, as father time approached, she conceived my aunt, who is only a few years older than me. God spaced them as He saw fit.
My mother could not conceive for two years after she married. She offered a novena to St. Jude, and viola…here I am. She then had my sister 11 months later, and then 5 years, nothing. She prayed and prayed, for she desired 10 children, and finally my youngest sister came along. Unfortunately at the age of 29 her pituatary gland had some major problems and she went through the change of life. It devastated her, but she saw it as God’s will.
I myself had a hysterectomy at the age of 33. I have 4 wonderful children, but I did use NFP, and now think of the children I SHOULD have had but refused. I think of all the years I wasted spacing children, thinking I would be fertile until my mid-40’s. I wasn’t. Yes there SEEMED to be grave circumstances as to why I should space the children, but looking back at it now, my faith was weak, still is, and I didn’t see so clearly that God would provide for our family.
Moral of the story, you don’t know how long your fertility will last. Maybe God has given you only so many years to be able to conceive, maybe he has given you the gift of having 12 children. God is in control of your fertility and only He knows how many days you have to use it. Perhaps we should ask ourselves the question, “Should I use SUPER-natural planning?” I just strongly caution you not to end up like me, wondering about the children I deprived Our Lord of, all for His greater Glory.
God bless you sweetie…