Traditionalist & Bisexual; Question for the ladies & be honest!

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OldCAFMember said:
She would want a husband who strongly appreciates feminine beauty, and above all, hers. That would guarantee the physical spark that is needed, especially where having children is concerned.
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Bisexual men do strongly appreciate feminine beauty. That’s why they’re not gay men.
 
Yes but they strongly appreciate the way men look too, and that’s the point. They are just plainly attracted to human beings.
 
Oh, I’m not saying that a woman can’t decide not to date a bisexual guy if she chooses. It’s totally her perogative. Just making the point that being bisexual doesnt mean the guy doesn’t appreciate female beauty.
 
But they’re not attracted to every single human. Or one of each at any given point. I’m single but when I’ve been in a serious relationship I didn’t have eyes for anyone else. It’s the same for bisexuals.
 
I understand that, but I also know that if I marry a bisexual man, there is something within him that I can personally never fulfill. I can fulfill his attraction to women.
 
And you are all he needs as a spouse and a partner. Anyone who thinks otherwise just plain doesn’t understand bisexuality or is polyamorous.
 
I have a friend who is bisexual, and 2 years ago she left her husband to be in a same sex relationship with a woman who started out as a “friend”. It didn’t matter to her that they had 2 kids together or anything. Now the kids get to spend half the time with their 2 “moms”. All of that to say, that it does happen. I know adultery and leaving of a husband and wife can happen in any relationship, but at least with a heterosexual one you don’t have to think about it when a husband/wife hangs out alone with same sex friends.
 
That doesn’t prove anything other than lack of fidelity and heteros also leave their spouses and children all too often. It just stands out to you because she left a man for a woman. How would it be that much better if she left the father of her children for another man?

There will always be someone who has something your spouse is attracted to, who can fulfill a need they have that can’t or maybe just better than you. Fidelity means they/you avoid meeting those needs inappropriately.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
That doesn’t prove anything other than lack of fidelity and heteros also leave their spouses and children all too often
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The example doesn’t prove infidelity would be everywhere, but she has a point about propriety with friends. I mostly wouldn’t find it appropriate for my husband to spend a lot of time alone with a straight female friend nor for me to spend a lot if time alone with a straight male friend even though I know neither of us would cheat. Bisexuality complicates that some.
 
Yeah, I know there are a lot of people, a lot of couples, who find opposite sex friends problematic. I think if I’m worried my spouse will cheat or think about it, then I have something to work on in my marriage or within myself. If people are going to cheat they will cheat and they’re going to be serial cheaters or have one pathetic fling. The bi husband can cheat with a woman too. Cheaters are gonna cheat.
 
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I’d be more concerned about emotional affairs, but as you say, if it is actually worrysome then you have some work to do in your marriage.
 
Both would be awful, but it would actually be a lot better if my spouse left me for a woman than a man, because I absolutely wouldn’t want my kids going on to live in a same sex parent household. For someone who is orthodox/traditional minded with sexual morality, the thought of that being more likely to happen than it would with a heterosexual spouse could give great pause.
 
And yeah we don’t really have opposite sex friends. It isnt forbidden but those friends that we do have that are opposite sex, we hang out as couples. I do hang out alone with female friends and he his male friends.
 
I understand if it’s a deal breaker for some. If I were the OP I wouldn’t want someone who was iffy about it. Bisexuality is misunderstood by gay men and lesbians, even though it’s the largest representation in LGBTQ. There is tons of bi-erasure in addition to misunderstanding by everyone except other bis.
 
Gingersnaps4 said:
Both would be awful, but it would actually be a lot better if my spouse left me for a woman than a man, because I absolutely wouldn’t want my kids going on to live in a same sex parent household.
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Very interesting.
Gingersnaps4 said:
For someone who is orthodox/traditional minded with sexual morality, the thought of that being more likely to happen than it would with a heterosexual spouse could give great pause.
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It should give the person who is bisexual great pause too, if you were that concerned about them being unfaithful.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
There is tons of bi-erasure in addition to misunderstanding by everyone except other bis.
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Ok I have a questions, for anyone who would like to answer because I’m sure I misunderstand on some level. Does bisexuality cover a pretty wide range of people in terms of how much same sex attraction occurs or does it refer predominantly to people who experience nearly equal levels of attraction to men and women? If it covers a wider range, wouldn’t most people be a little bit bisexual?
 
Have even traditionalist Catholics so internalized our perverse culture now? Why should we feel the need to identify ourselves with temptations to sin? To use an extreme example (and demonstrate the absurdity): would you ever ask, “Hey Ladies, would you date a Man who is openly Homicidal? I’m not going to murder anyone, but sometimes I want to!” (I hope the answers would all be, “No.”)

We have lost clarity on sexuality to such an extent that it’s causing people to self-identify with evil.
 
Yes, there is a range and yes, everyone is a little bisexual. And you are bringing up a good point. There’s the original Kinsey Scale and a more current version. Someone could be bisexual but have a stronger preference for one gender over the other. Also, there are gay men who find women attractive, too. Look at Freddie Mercury. There was a lot of disagreement, especially around the biopic, because some people think Freddie was gay and others say he was bi and both think their belief about Freddie was downplayed. Whatever. Honestly, only Freddie could call that one.

I consider myself very hetero; I’m a woman but I don’t even like women as friends. But has a woman turned my head? Yes. I have a type, even. It’s super rare though. Also notable, I’m not attracted to many men. When I was younger, if I was attracted to a guy I probably dated him. But I didn’t date a lot of guys so…not many people turn my head, period.

Which brings me to a point I’ve skirted around and that is that people have types, we’re usually attracted to a type. If you are married to a man who loves your traditional femininity, well, you better watch him around all your traditional, feminine friends. Unless you have a healthy, trusting marriage.
 
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