Kay Cee:
Okay, this didn’t quite answer the question. If a person is “put out of the church” due to divorce, what happens if he returns? What if, by then, his wife has remarried someone else? Is he then allowed to take another wife?
Kay Cee, I can tell you confidently, that once a person is put out, and obtains a divorce, they are never seen again by their own choice. That said, I can only offer a hypothetical and say that we would probably not perform a marriage in such a case, as we would have full knowledge of what transpired, and of all of the counseling admonitions given them in the past.
Kay Cee:
I obviously did not state my question well. You took it to mean adultery committed before a divorce. I meant it as after a divorce–let’s say in both cases a civil divorce was granted because of irreconcilable differences. Now here’s what I’m seeing in many Protestant churches: Two such divorced persons get married to each other. If we take seriously Jesus’ statement that if they remarry, they commit adultery, they are entering into an adulterous relationship, with the full blessing and sanction of their church. I hope I explained it well this time.
Each case must be looked at individually. This has happened. The key question is whether or not they were believers at the time of their divorce, ie., was their profession of faith a true profession of faith? If someone comes to us under these circumstances, be it as a new member of the church, or as a member of the church who now seeks to marry, their honesty in not hiding their past is important (Pro 28:13). If we are convinced that he or was only professing faith, and not truly regenerate, or that he or she was a flat out professing non-believer at the time of their divorce, we would allow the marriage. If we came to the conclusion that he or she was a believer, and understood what they had done as a believer at that time, we would not allow the marriage, at which point, he or she will usually go elsewhere to get married.
Kay Cee:
What really bothers me about this is that in such a situation, another person’s sin would be voiding a sacred vow I personally made to God, without my desire or consent. That vow is not just between me and my husband, it’s also between God and me. Nobody has the right to void a sacred vow I make to God but God. Sin is evil. How can evil void a sacred vow I made to God? If that’s the case, isn’t evil greater than sanctity?
Well, your problem in that is not with me, but with the Lord; He has allowed the concession in Mt 5, and Mt 19–a reiteration of Moses’ concession in Dt. 24.
There is no requirement that you must remarry, only that you can should you choose to do so.
Also, death can void your sacred vow as well without your desire and consent, and death is evil; murder can void your sacred vow without your desire and consent, and murder is evil. I see that as a quandary for you to consider.
Kay Cee:
I just put in the quote by Chesterton to illustrate my point. I’m very disturbed by someone standing before God and breaking one vow by making another.
IMHO, that is not a wise expenditure of energy. Some people will listen to sound counsel; my experience is that, sadly, most do not, thus we have the Lord’s concession.