Kay Cee:
But this goes to the very heart of the matter. If I freely make a vow to God, I am obligated to fulfill it, if at all possible. I do have control over that. The behavior of others, especially their sinfulness, has no bearing on my responsibility to fulfill my obligation to God.
When I married my husband, I swore to God that I took him for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, till death do us part. That is the wording of the vow, and I am obligated to God to fulfill it as it is worded. So if the marriage gets worse, I am still obligated to fulfill my vow–after all, I swore to God that I would when I made that very vow. There are no astericks or codicils saying I take him unless he cheats on me. I am obligated to stay married to him–even if we live apart–until one of us dies. That is the vow I made.
You are correct, Kay Cee, with the condition, as you state it, “if at all possible.”
If there is an adulterous affair by one of the marriage partners, my first point of counsel is not “you must divorce,” but, “this can be overcome through Christ.” It is difficult, but scripture promises that it can be overcome through the strength and love of Christ.
However, if the offending spouse is not willing to repent and return to the offended spouse, then the vow that was been made by the offended spouse cannot be kept.
How is it possible to keep the vow, and all of its attendant responsibilities, to one who has left? How can your body be his, and his be yours, if he has severed the relationship and lives with another? It cannot be, and that is the difficult position into which the offended, and innocent party is placed, ie., it is impossible to fulfill the responsibilities of the vow.
That is why the concession for divorce is made by Moses, the Lord, and Paul; it is made because of man’s sinfulness (Mt 19:8).
The context for the innocent party is found in Jer 3:8ff where God divorces His wife, Israel.
Israel has committed adulteries (Heb.
na’aph; Gk, LXX
moichaomai). In the Hebrew, Israel has
broken wedlock (further support for
porneia as adultery in Christ’s sayings), and though God desires to fulfill His vows to Israel, He is no longer able to do so, because Israel has left Him, and so, He divorces Israel, His unfaithful spouse.
We can conclude then, that divorce is not sinful in every situation, otherwise, God has sinned against Israel, which He certainly has not; rather, because Israel has forsaken her spouse and rejected His love for the love of another, God divorced her.