Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are

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SamH said:
Not many people can live that sheltered of a life.
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I’m not sure what you mean by that. I’m not saying that I know no one who was abused as a child - unfortunately, that is very, very far from true - but I don’t know anyone who identifies as gay who was abused (or has said that they were), including several personal close friends.

I suppose it could be possible that every gay person I know has neglected to disclose this information to me. After all, it’s very personal information and none of my business.

But it’s still not the topic of this thread. 🤷
 
SamH said:
Is it just me is that not logical?
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That’s what I was trying to point out. Anecdotes don’t make for good evidence - your experiences and mine are completely different; it would not be wise for us to draw conclusions based just on the relatively small sample of people we know.

I guess I should have put the word “good” in there to clarify my intent. 🙂
 
I vaguely recall reading somewhere about a similar phenomenon, that, when a dumb brunette realizes she is dumb, she realizes she should have been born blond, and so dyes her hair blond, so she can be herself.

We’ve always known people who act a little, or maybe a lot more feminine or masculine than usual, so it seems that transgender surgery is just taking matters as far as one can take it. Being raised properly by your parents would be better, and it’s sad when otherwise happens.
 
SamH said:
Actually most of the gay people I know are the product of sexual abuse as a child.
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Really, Sam? And how many gay people do you know? The sexual abuse hypothesis is an old myth. I don’t even think Michele Bachmann’s husband believes that anymore.
 
LaSainte said:
Yes! Frankly, i would probably let my son wear clothes of the opposite gender like dresses and tiaras for play as well as play with dolls or whatever. For everyday wear I would let him choose something a bit mire neutral, maybe let him have longer hair, etc. I would draw the line at a name change and referring to him as “she” though at such a young age until it was a bit more sorted out by a specialist.
My main goal would be a happy child who is not ashamed of themselves, and I would make darn sure not to become a source of shame for him.
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Then you’re super-liberal (which is not intended as a slur)! I know even a few liberally minded developmental psychologists who would try to discourage such cross-gender behavior. In an ideal world, gender neutrality might work; but, as you know, we don’t yet live in such a world and other people are likely to ridicule this gender-atypical behavior. Gender differences are so ingrained in all of us from birth at the biological, psychological, and sociocultural levels.
 
LaSainte said:
I do wonder though that it is not considered immoral if one is born with both sets of genitalia, to choose which sex … It seems a bit hypocritical,
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You truly don’t see the difference between helping a child become normal, one sex, when he/she was born abnormal with both genitalia and changing the sex of someone with specific genitalia but a psychological problem? ( I don’t believe a parent or doctor guesses a sex anymore, which was the best they could do in the past. Now they look at the dna and see which sex the child should be. You know, those xx or xy chromosomes we all learned about in high school.)

If you don’t see the difference between helping fix an abnormality and creating an abnormality… should a cleft palate be corrected? Should a child be educated, since ignorance is the state he was born in? Should the deaf be given a chance to hear? (Some say no.) Should someone who wants to kill himself be allowed? Should someone who thinks they’re a tree be allowed to call himself a tree and surgically create bark and leaves instead of skin? (What if he thought he was a tree since 2?)

We’ll never learn much about the psychology of what’s happening, because political correctness won’t allow it. Science can no longer call an obvious abnormality an abnormality. We all have to pretend it’s normal and healthy. Or we’ll be sued for violating someone’s civil rights, or lose our job or licenses because of a lack of sensitivity and unfitness.
 
meltzerboy said:
The sexual abuse hypothesis is an old myth. I don’t even think Michele Bachmann’s husband believes that anymore.
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I think you’re confusing the data that most homosexual predators were victims as children, and grow up to repeat what happened to them, with the theory that homosexual men failed to bond with their father and are searching for a father/son relation ship and confuse it with a male sexual relationship.

I don’t know if the second one is a myth or not. But there certainly is a lot of pressure and ridicule for anyone who dare look at it. Including your ridicule of Mr. Bachmann just now.

What I took from your ridicule is that only a wacko would dare treat homosexuality as a curable psychological disease? Yet, someone just wrote (was it you?) that we don’t know enough about the science of this to make any judgements. Inconsistent logic.
 
Quote:
Berkeley, California (CNN) – One of the first things Thomas Lobel told his parents was that they were wrong.

The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia, a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler pointed to himself and signed, “I am a girl.”

“Oh look, he’s confused,” his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. “No, no. Thomas is a boy.”

But the toddler shook his head. “I am a girl,” he signed back emphatically.
sounds like the nut didnt fall far from the tree.
 
Publisher said:
Hmmm…maybe this kid IS…where do most gay people come from? From opposite gender parents…obviously…having opposite gender parents doesn’t mean their child can’t be gay or transgendered…same sex parents too can produce gay or transgendered children. 🤷
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This conversation is hilarious!!!

The kid is 3!!! An extended case of terrible twos is translated into God having made a mistake!!! … You cant make this stuff up!
 
CatholicBoy1957 said:
I vaguely recall reading somewhere about a similar phenomenon, that, when a dumb brunette realizes she is dumb, she realizes she should have been born blond, and so dyes her hair blond, so she can be herself.
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Tongue in cheek?
 
meltzerboy said:
Then you’re super-liberal (which is not intended as a slur)! I know even a few liberally minded developmental psychologists who would try to discourage such cross-gender behavior. In an ideal world, gender neutrality might work; but, as you know, we don’t yet live in such a world and other people are likely to ridicule this gender-atypical behavior. Gender differences are so ingrained in all of us from birth at the biological, psychological, and sociocultural levels.
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I agree with the fact that this child might be ridiculed. I would certainly try to encourage the child to reflect more gender-normative behavior for his own sake. But I would not shame him or deny him certain toys or choices simply because I think he should be more masculine. Forcing a child to be someone they are not is only going to exacerbate the problem and make those things more attractive, while simultaneously causing the child to lose trust and confidence in me as a parent. Home should be a safe place where a child is allowed to be himself, whoever that is. If a boy would rather play with dolls than trucks or take ballet instead of football, I say let them.
 
incense said:
You truly don’t see the difference between helping a child become normal, one sex, when he/she was born abnormal with both genitalia and changing the sex of someone with specific genitalia but a psychological problem? ( I don’t believe a parent or doctor guesses a sex anymore, which was the best they could do in the past. Now they look at the dna and see which sex the child should be. You know, those xx or xy chromosomes we all learned about in high school.)

If you don’t see the difference between helping fix an abnormality and creating an abnormality… should a cleft palate be corrected? Should a child be educated, since ignorance is the state he was born in? Should the deaf be given a chance to hear? (Some say no.) Should someone who wants to kill himself be allowed? Should someone who thinks they’re a tree be allowed to call himself a tree and surgically create bark and leaves instead of skin? (What if he thought he was a tree since 2?)

We’ll never learn much about the psychology of what’s happening, because political correctness won’t allow it. Science can no longer call an obvious abnormality an abnormality. We all have to pretend it’s normal and healthy. Or we’ll be sued for violating someone’s civil rights, or lose our job or licenses because of a lack of sensitivity and unfitness.
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Actually, I think the recommendation now is to wait until the child is old enough to determine what he/she wants to be.

My point is that just because having both sets of genitalia is an anomaly that we can physically see, we suddenly think “Oh this is a mistake to be fixed.”. But when the problem is in the mind or brain, it is immoral to do anything about it, as if somehow the physical body overrides the mind and they should just “live with it”.

What exactly makes what is between our legs override what is between our ears anyway? They don’t even know yet if this is caused by a psychological issue or an actual physical difference in the brain. If it’s a physical difference in the brain, then I submit that it falls under the same category as being born with both sets of genitalia.
 
meltzerboy said:
Really, Sam? And how many gay people do you know? The sexual abuse hypothesis is an old myth. I don’t even think Michele Bachmann’s husband believes that anymore.
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Within the scientific and social science literature, there is a myriad of research claiming to have identified one of the causes for homosexuality. The hypotheses that sexual abuse itself can be the cause of homosexuality in adult life has been found and research that supports this conclusion are as follows Macmillan, 1997; Tomeo et al, 2001; Holmes et al, 1998; Doll et al, 1992; Soukup, 1995; Shrier et al, 1988; Dickson; and Finkelhor, 1984.

Sorry if your beliefs are not backed by facts.

I also have worked with children in the foster care system for 10 years and have had foster children for the last 4 years. One of the most common traits of boys that have been abused by men is that they grow up to be both homosexual and abusers themselves. These teenagers are the most difficult to place in any kind of “normal” family setting.
 
I am SO having nightmares tonight, swizzle stick - thank you. :eek:

And this is the saddest article I’ve read in a long time. That poor boy, has NO male dynamic in the home. All he see’s is two women loving eachother, so he probably is just feeling like the ‘odd one out’, being a male. He probably just wants to ‘fit in’. How sad…how very sad.
 
Publisher said:
Hmmm…maybe this kid IS…where do most gay people come from? From opposite gender parents…obviously…having opposite gender parents doesn’t mean their child can’t be gay or transgendered…same sex parents too can produce gay or transgendered children. 🤷
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Ummm, most people period come from opposite gender parents, since they are the overwhelming majority of parents.
 
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