Trouble on the Road to RCIA

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Peterson04

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I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible and open with my question first, then some background. I’m new here, registered this morning for really no apparent reason. I’ve wanted to talk to someone about Catholicism and I don’t know any Catholics, nor can I seem to step foot into a church to try to talk to a priest, so I figured here might be a good place to start.

As for my question, I’m interested in going to what’s known as RCIA, but I’m extremely timid about even showing up at a church at all. There’s a catholic church that I drive by every day on my way to work that I’d like to go into one day, but for some reason I just can’t. Every time I think about doing it I end up procrastinating. The only reason I want to even go in is to talk to a priest. And the only reason I want to talk to a priest is because, for whatever reason, I feel a powerful draw to Jesus and Catholicism. It just feels right to me, yet I don’t know why.

As for background, I was raised in a Pentecostal church and ultimately left it when turned eighteen and my parents were no longer forcing me to go. It was weird and I didn’t like it, and I’ll leave it at that. My parents tried changing to a non-denominational church to see if they could keep me interested there, and while it was better it still wasn’t enough to keep my interest. As a child I’d gone to an Episcopalian church with my grandparents on occasion and loved it, but my parents for whatever reason didn’t feel like that fit well with them.

After my grandfather passed away in 2011 I was wrecked emotionally. I had gone through a period in my teens and twenties of drug use, Satanism, Wicca; you name it, and ultimately ended up reading my way to atheism. I felt like I was a pretty strong atheist and had the matter settled, but when I got the news about my grandfather it just started a crack in the glass of my certainty. After that it’s been slowly chipping away ever since. I’m no longer an atheist, and I want to believe in God because I don’t want to believe I’ll never see my family again when they die. I also don’t care if other atheists see this as irrational or silly because it’s important to me, and this matter is central to my life. I’ve given up trying to be right about everything. I just want some sense of peace.

Flash forward to now (I’m condensing this greatly for space, btw) and I have this strange feeling that I won’t feel that closeness to God that I think is imperative to reignite my faith until I can take communion. Real communion though, as taken in a Catholic church and administered by a priest. I understand that to do this you have to be Catholic, and therein lies the next hurdle I’m facing.

My wife and I are both agnostic, but we’re both interested in Catholicism (me more than her), but neither of us can muster the willpower to just walk in. I feel like my atheism was responsible in a large part for her losing her faith and becoming an agnostic (she was also, coincidentally, raised in a Pentecostal church). As a result of this, I feel like I have a responsibility to lead her back to a genuine faith. But I’m the last person in the world who should be leading anyone, and I feel uniquely unqualified to move the chess pieces here for either of us.

So that’s my conundrum. I want to go, but I can’t seem to bring myself to it. I want to experience the faith and presence of God that Catholics talk about because I don’t recall ever feeling that at all in my life. And for a former atheist, the gut has to override the mind. I’m not interested in proving anymore that God is real or not, or that Jesus was real or not. To me, they are if I can feel them in my life, and I sort of feel like I do already. It’s like a weak, barely audible noise. I could be making it all up, but I read something in the Catechism that we’re given guardian angels to help guide us. I take a great amount of comfort in that idea and I hope there’s a guardian angel looking out for my wife and I here.

To undertake this would be to admit we’ve sinned greatly, which as you can imagine is a hard pill to swallow. It would also completely rearrange our lives in just about every possible way, and everything in my head tells me that I’m just being emotional and irrational, but my heart tells me that I’m headed in the right direction. I don’t know what to do, so I’d like some advice on how to get the ball rolling. I’ve muttered a few prayers here and there, but I feel silly. I don’t even think know how to pray properly, but I’m willing to try. I’m not so arrogant as to ask for a miracle, but I surely wouldn’t mind a helping hand.

Anyone got any ideas?
 
I can’t really imagine being afraid to go to Church but I have been afraid of other things. Confront your fears. Just do it. Go to Church. Call the rectory and ask to talk to a priest.

You can read the Bible and Catechism of the Catholic Church online.
 
Maybe you should start slow. Instead of walking into a church in order to speak to a priest, just start with one or the other: walking into a church OR speaking with a priest. Which one do you feel you resist more, and why? Once you know why, it’s easier to figure out how to get past it.

If you struggle more with the idea of speaking to the priest, then maybe you could try attending a Mass without planning to speak to the priest (even in our relatively small parish, I rarely have the chance to even greet the priest, much less speak with him at any length, as he is surrounded by people after Mass). You might find it similar in some ways to the Episcopalian service. Or just stop in to attend a church function, such as a bake sale or fundraiser (in our parish, these are usually held in the church basement), and speak with some of the people there.

If going into the church building is what you struggle with more, then speak with the priest, and talk to him about it–most priests are willing to meet somewhere more “neutral,” or you could even invite him to lunch so that you could talk with him with less anxiety. He might even invite you for a tour of the church building (which are usually beautiful and architecturally interesting). Or, again, you could start with a church function and sort of “work your way up.”

And I promise that no albino monks will jump out, tie you up, and make you stay in the sanctuary until you and your wife convert. 😉 😃
 
Is there a parish that has perpetual adoration near you? It might be beneficial to spend some time with the Eucharisic Jesus to just be in his presence.
As far as prayer, it can be as simple as “Jesus help me”. God already knows your mind, just ask for his direction.
I will include your family in my prayers.
 
Your story sounds a bit like mine! I, too, was afraid to go into a Catholic Church, even tho I passed one almost daily. Finally I saw a notice for a music/prayer evening. That sounded like an invite to me, so I went. I felt right at home. 😃

It took about a year (pre-RCIA) but I was finally accepted into the Church.

Someone mentioned doing just one thing, like visiting the Church. It doesn’t even have to be a Mass. Just sitting in a pew.
 
Whether or not you believe in God is less a factor in what is happening to you than if you believe in the devil, because he is the one enticing you to pass by the Church. Do not fear entering the Church, as Christ lives in the Tabernacle. He is calling you and is the reason that you feel attracted to the faith. Rather than allowing the devil to keep you out of the Church, let him chase you into it!
 
Please, just go in. One foot in front of the other. You surely won’t regret it. I’ll be praying for you and your wife. God bless you.

REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Your story is a lot like mine. I was afraid of the catholic church for years. I took me a long time to be able to go into the Church. my suggestion is to call or email someone about RCIA. It is will help you learn about the catholic church and you will learn a lot about yourself at the same time.
Good luck on your journey, Sandy
 
You sound a lot like me just a few weeks ago. I was soo afraid to go to church too, but was finally able to muster up the courage to walk into a weekday mass. I will admit the first time was tough, but once I was inside I just felt like I had come home. If you’re a bit nervus thats okay. The first time you go its like sticking your foot in a cold swimming pool, you think its too cold, but once you work up the courage to take the plunge you discover that its not as bad as you thought. If you do decide to go to a mass I advise going to a weekday mass as they are less formal, and you can always sit in the back and just observe.

As for the praying part Im with you there. It still feels a bit weird, but as long as your heart is in it He will understand.

Also as for talking to priests or even deacons I find using the phone for the initial contact is a.good ice breaker.
 
The Holy Spirit is calling you into the Catholic Church, Welcome Home! You don’t have to enter into a Catholic Church building to speak with a priest. All you need to do is call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with a priest and he will meet with you in his office. He will be happy to answer any questions and address your issues and concerns, no strings attached/no pressure. He might even give you a short tour of the church so you can have a look around with no else there. Just think of it as a business appointment or school project. Jesus is waiting for you in the Eucharist, if all goes well, you will be able to receive Him by this time next year! P.S. It is a doctrine of the Church that angels exist and all human beings have one assigned to them throughout their lifetime to protect and guide them to heaven, Catholic or not. Let us know how you are doing and if we can answer any questions. :compcoff:
 
=Peterson04;10687644]
As for my question, I’m interested in going to what’s known as RCIA, but I’m extremely timid about even showing up at a church at all. There’s a catholic church that I drive by every day on my way to work that I’d like to go into one day, but for some reason I just can’t. Every time I think about doing it I end up procrastinating. The only reason I want to even go in is to talk to a priest. And the only reason I want to talk to a priest is because, for whatever reason, I feel a powerful draw to Jesus and Catholicism. It just feels right to me, yet I don’t know why.
Click to expand...
Flash forward to now (I’m condensing this greatly for space, btw) and I have this strange feeling that I won’t feel that closeness to God that I think is imperative to reignite my faith until I can take communion. Real communion though, as taken in a Catholic church and administered by a priest. I understand that to do this you have to be Catholic, and therein lies the next hurdle I’m facing.
Click to expand...
My wife and I are both agnostic, but we’re both interested in Catholicism (me more than her), but neither of us can muster the willpower to just walk in. I feel like my atheism was responsible in a large part for her losing her faith and becoming an agnostic (she was also, coincidentally, raised in a Pentecostal church). As a result of this, I feel like I have a responsibility to lead her back to a genuine faith. But I’m the last person in the world who should be leading anyone, and I feel uniquely unqualified to move the chess pieces here for either of us.
Click to expand...
To undertake this would be to admit we’ve sinned greatly, which as you can imagine is a hard pill to swallow. It would also completely rearrange our lives in just about every possible way, and everything in my head tells me that I’m just being emotional and irrational, but my heart tells me that I’m headed in the right direction. I don’t know what to do, so I’d like some advice on how to get the ball rolling. I’ve muttered a few prayers here and there, but I feel silly. I don’t even think know how to pray properly, but I’m willing to try. I’m not so arrogant as to ask for a miracle, but I surely wouldn’t mind a helping hand.
Click to expand...
Anyone got any ideas?
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  1. Sorry to shorten you post but space is prudently “restricted” here on the Forum.
  2. Know that it IS the Holy Spirit working and nuddging you towars the CC
  3. Know that it si historically and biblically proveable that Christ [God] founded only One Church; today’s Catholic Church. Therefore the Fulleness of God’s Truth can ONLY be found within the CC.👍
  4. You speak of a need to feel close to God.
ONLY the CC** has the Seven Sacraments with include the sacramnet of KNOWN forgiveness; not guess; a hope; or a human invention; but what Christ Our perfect God Himself ordained so that we COULD be at peace and be in a truly Personal relationship with HIM.

And the Most Holy Eucharist: Jesus Christ really; Truly and Substanually Present for US. we can’t get ANY closer to God then this:D

**There are some Eastern Churches that Do have Apostolic Succession and the Sacraments as well; BUT they lack “communion with Rome and the Pope.” So were back to point #3.
  1. Why not telephone the Rectory and ask for the Pastor? Just tell who ever answers the phone its a private and personal matter. They will understand.
  2. PRAY!
Know that I and others will be praying for you too:thumbsup:

God Bless you. You HAVE taken the first and very necessary step.

Pat /PJM here on this FORUM
 
Just so you know – no one can walk into a Catholic church at any time of the day and expect that a priest is there, waiting for someone to walk in to talk with him. I think only in the movies … 🙂

You can choose to phone the parish office to make an appointment to talk with a priest (just say you are not Catholic, but would like to talk to a priest – you don’t have to get any more specific than that with the parish office staff or volunteer who answers the phone).

Or, you can simply attend a Catholic Mass, to get an idea about how we worship together. Unless you get a marker and write “non-Catholic” on your forehead, no one will know what your faith is. I’ve known many non-Catholics who attend Mass, for years. Every person in the world is invited to attend Mass – although you may not receive Holy Communion.

RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) is a gradual process, with four stages. The first stage is called “Inquiry” (sometimes this period is called “pre-evangelization”).

You don’t have to make a commitment to become Catholic to learn about Catholicism – ask any and all questions you have, and do your best to open your mind to understanding the teachings of the Church. You might have a decent understanding of many teachings already, because of the faith of your childhood, and other worship experiences.

What follows (hopefully) is a conversion of heart, to an ongoing and ever-deepening relationship with God. It sounds to me, from what you have written, that God is tugging at your heart, and you’re starting to respond.

Then comes discipleship, in which we commit to submit not only our mind and hearts, but also our will to follow Christ, for the rest of our lives.

If your timidity is based on any fear of judgment due to being agnostic or due to not knowing much about Catholicism, please do your best to lay aside that fear. A person’s free will is very respected, and what you choose to do (as to whether you become Catholic or not, or how long you take to decide) is very respected.

You asked readers to share ideas – I have many, but I hope the above will do for now! Enjoy this adventure!
 
CatholicRaven said:
Maybe you should start slow. Instead of walking into a church in order to speak to a priest, just start with one or the other: walking into a church OR speaking with a priest. Which one do you feel you resist more, and why? Once you know why, it’s easier to figure out how to get past it.

If you struggle more with the idea of speaking to the priest, then maybe you could try attending a Mass without planning to speak to the priest (even in our relatively small parish, I rarely have the chance to even greet the priest, much less speak with him at any length, as he is surrounded by people after Mass). You might find it similar in some ways to the Episcopalian service. Or just stop in to attend a church function, such as a bake sale or fundraiser (in our parish, these are usually held in the church basement), and speak with some of the people there.

If going into the church building is what you struggle with more, then speak with the priest, and talk to him about it–most priests are willing to meet somewhere more “neutral,” or you could even invite him to lunch so that you could talk with him with less anxiety. He might even invite you for a tour of the church building (which are usually beautiful and architecturally interesting). Or, again, you could start with a church function and sort of “work your way up.”

And I promise that no albino monks will jump out, tie you up, and make you stay in the sanctuary until you and your wife convert. 😉 😃
Click to expand...
I appreciate your advice. I’m not sure why it bothers me to enter a church, to be honest. I’m not implying that there’s something wrong with me in some spiritual sense, I just feel uncomfortable with the idea in general. If I knew why it’d be easier to explain, and I don’t want to offend anyone by saying this but part of me just feels silly going into a church. It’s probably something to do with being an atheist for so long and now the idea of going to church feels like I’m trampling on my intellect? I’m not really sure, but I do know that I want to go and at least get the ball rolling. There’s a lot of irrational fear on my part, though.
 
CatholicRaven said:
And I promise that no albino monks will jump out, tie you up, and make you stay in the sanctuary until you and your wife convert.
Click to expand...
You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep. After all, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
 
Catholic1954 said:
The Holy Spirit is calling you into the Catholic Church, Welcome Home! You don’t have to enter into a Catholic Church building to speak with a priest. All you need to do is call the parish office and make an appointment to speak with a priest and he will meet with you in his office. He will be happy to answer any questions and address your issues and concerns, no strings attached/no pressure. He might even give you a short tour of the church so you can have a look around with no else there. Just think of it as a business appointment or school project. Jesus is waiting for you in the Eucharist, if all goes well, you will be able to receive Him by this time next year! P.S. It is a doctrine of the Church that angels exist and all human beings have one assigned to them throughout their lifetime to protect and guide them to heaven, Catholic or not. Let us know how you are doing and if we can answer any questions. :compcoff:
Click to expand...
This is a very comforting thought. Thank you for posting this. I don’t want to over embellish it but the encouragement, even on an internet forum, is profoundly helpful. I’m thinking of dropping by that church tomorrow on my lunch to see if they have time to meet with me. Thank you again for your kind words.
 
quiet52 said:
Just so you know – no one can walk into a Catholic church at any time of the day and expect that a priest is there, waiting for someone to walk in to talk with him. I think only in the movies … 🙂

You can choose to phone the parish office to make an appointment to talk with a priest (just say you are not Catholic, but would like to talk to a priest – you don’t have to get any more specific than that with the parish office staff or volunteer who answers the phone).

Or, you can simply attend a Catholic Mass, to get an idea about how we worship together. Unless you get a marker and write “non-Catholic” on your forehead, no one will know what your faith is. I’ve known many non-Catholics who attend Mass, for years. Every person in the world is invited to attend Mass – although you may not receive Holy Communion.

RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) is a gradual process, with four stages. The first stage is called “Inquiry” (sometimes this period is called “pre-evangelization”).

You don’t have to make a commitment to become Catholic to learn about Catholicism – ask any and all questions you have, and do your best to open your mind to understanding the teachings of the Church. You might have a decent understanding of many teachings already, because of the faith of your childhood, and other worship experiences.

What follows (hopefully) is a conversion of heart, to an ongoing and ever-deepening relationship with God. It sounds to me, from what you have written, that God is tugging at your heart, and you’re starting to respond.

Then comes discipleship, in which we commit to submit not only our mind and hearts, but also our will to follow Christ, for the rest of our lives.

If your timidity is based on any fear of judgment due to being agnostic or due to not knowing much about Catholicism, please do your best to lay aside that fear. A person’s free will is very respected, and what you choose to do (as to whether you become Catholic or not, or how long you take to decide) is very respected.

You asked readers to share ideas – I have many, but I hope the above will do for now! Enjoy this adventure!
Click to expand...
Thank you for your advice. It is very helpful to me to receive this encouragement at this specific time. I just had a deep, hours long conversation with my wife regarding God, Jesus, the Catholic church, and a host of other related things. More than any other time I sensed that she was starting to understand the same pull that I’m feeling, and we started to synchronize on the same level. I’m trying not to see the hand of Providence in everything, but that sensation that I’m being guided in some way is quite profound. I don’t, as a point, ever look for miracles or evidence of the divine, but tonight was certainly a breakthrough for us both. Thank you again for your kind words and encouragement. I’ll keep you posted as to how things turn out.
 
po18guy said:
Whether or not you believe in God is less a factor in what is happening to you than if you believe in the devil, because he is the one enticing you to pass by the Church. Do not fear entering the Church, as Christ lives in the Tabernacle. He is calling you and is the reason that you feel attracted to the faith. Rather than allowing the devil to keep you out of the Church, let him chase you into it!
Click to expand...
After reading more of the Catechism it has crossed my mind that there is the possibility, that something (I suppose the devil?) may be actively trying to prevent me from getting closer to God. This, I must admit, seems somewhat absurd to me on a certain level, but at the same time it’s rather alarming to me in that it feels like it may be true. I don’t, as a rule, jump to conclusions on things in which I have little experience, least of all things of such a subjective nature, but I do feel like there’s some wisdom in what you’ve said here. Do you have any advice on how I should pray? Again, I don’t really know how this is done. Sometimes when I want to pray it just feels so ridiculous to speak out loud that I say it in my head, and at other times I just override that feeling and start to whisper prayers as best I can. My hope is that if I try, God will hear me and start to help me because I’m trying. I’ve never really believed in the power of prayer so the very idea is somewhat odd for me, but there’s a compulsion here that I can’t really deny and so I keep trying. I’ve even prayed in my car as I drive to work, silly as it may seem. Is there a method to praying that may be more…effective?
 
I know exactly what you are saying about being afraid to go in - I felt as if I wasn’t worthy enough to even enter the building - but I did. I promise you it is worth it. It has been an absolutely wonderful journey so far. There has been so much guidance and support and teaching! I have yet to go through RCIA myself because my husband is atheist and downright hostile about the whole thing, but I will get there. There is no other option for me now that I’ve started down this road - it’s the right road! I have the same undeniable draw to the Catholic Church - definitely listen to that little voice inside, the one urging you to go in the door. You won’t regret it.
 
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