Uncommitted Dating

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I cannot say anyone is in the wrong. You just seem to be in different places. You obviously don’t share the most important thing in common. I’d cut my losses now.
 
Isn’t it a boundary violation for them to vocalize their jealousy? No commitment means I can accept dates, flirt, and ask out whomever I want wherever, whenever I want. If they don’t like it, they can leave
 
Jump4Joy said:
Isn’t it a boundary violation for them to vocalize their jealousy? No commitment means I can accept dates, flirt, and ask out whomever I want wherever, whenever I want. If they don’t like it, they can leave
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I have no idea what boundaries you established with your dating partner, so my comments were intentionally ‘general’.

If you both agreed to date other people then his getting upset would signify the ‘rules’ you established won’t actually work.

Personally, I find his response perfectly natural, an indication of his interest and the natural direction of dating to move into exclusivity. I think it’s a bump in the road that all casual relationships must cross if they progress to be more serious.

Thus, the ball is in your court, and I think we already know the answer - you like the guy but you don’t see it progressing to a more serious relationship. He’s not wrong for his feelings of jealous, but they are also indicative that you both are no longer in sync.
 
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Do you think interracial dating is a wise choice? Different cultures don’t always work. Is it worth the effort if you’re not certain it will work?
 
Jump4Joy said:
Do you think interracial dating is a wise choice? Different cultures don’t always work. Is it worth the effort if you’re not certain it will work?
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I think it’s not that simple. The color is of little import if your cultures are very similar. Different colors used to represent very different cultural backgrounds, but that is no longer a certainty.

My mother one said she didn’t want me to date/marry inter-racially, it was the only potentially racist thing I ever hear her say. But from her perspective, she was a child of the depression and in her experience interracial relationships were very hard to make work. Parents mostly want the best outcomes for their children.

I’d focus on how you match up in food, politics, religion, family expectations, etc. Attending a different church would likely be more significant as a factor than just skin color
 
I’m just dating people I find attractive. I don’t know if I take it seriously. I usually get attached though.
 
Theo520 said:
The color is of little import if your cultures are very similar. Different colors used to represent very different cultural backgrounds, but that is no longer a certainty.
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Exactly!

In my town, it’s unlikely that I’ll find anyone. Nearly everyone is poor, undereducated, on drugs, uninformed, Godless, and underachieving.
 
Hmmm. Didn’t you have another thread lamenting the fact that you couldn’t find any guys and your biological clock is running out, yaddah, yaddah? 🤔

Maybe the fact that you are only dating people you find attractive is the problem. Maybe there are Catholic guys out there that you overlook because you are searching for attractiveness only.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I’m just dating people I find attractive. I don’t know if I take it seriously. I usually get attached though.
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hormonal dating may be fun, but it’s not sufficient to find a good life partner.
 
That’s probably true. I guess I can find dates. I’m shallow picking the wrong guys. We have little in common other than attraction.
 
So, I asked you this before, have you tried online dating on a Catholic site?
 
I have an account. I think the guys I meet will be more dedicated to the faith than me. I go to church every Sunday. I’m not conservative. I think I’d feel “bad” or less than holy.
 
You won’t know that until you try it out. I am sure there are guys there that feel the same way.
 
Your way of thinking and talking about all this is unfamiliar to me. Using phrases like “boundary violation” comes across as cold.

I also think it’s strange that you might think that this boy’s being upset about this would be considered “being possessive”. His feeling upset may be a sign that he likes you. I don’t understand why you’re pulling out the ‘being possessive” language.

We’re you taught this “boundary”, “possessive” stuff in your school as part of some kind of anti date rape program or something? Where did you learn to think like this?
 
Looks are somewhat important though. I have more reservations about dating fellow Catholics. I’d automatically think he’s the one. I’d expect less problems. Come to think I’ve dated a Catholic dude. It didn’t work out.
 
A few people told me he may overstepping his boundaries with me by vocalizing he felt jealous when I accepted the date. We’re not an official couple. Some say he sounds clingy because our relationship is not committed
 
Read your OP. You called him your partner. Along the way, you have completely changed the story and details you told us. It is possible that it is also what you do to men that you date, making you difficult to understand.
 
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It is quite human and natural to get attached ,it isn t like " it is the same" if he/she is there or not,cares for me or not,takes me into account or not,gives me a call or not… We are not made of plastic,to say it somehow…
Sounds like the rules for a relationship so broad work against you. Yet you seem to set them or accept them.
" I usually get attached though…" This is quite human… We can identify with this one way or another,and as old as the ages,I d say…
Listen to yourself in the silence. Do not hurry.
 
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