Uncommitted Dating

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I think it depends on the person. I mentioned in another thread the hell I saw my best friend go through when the parents disapproved of their son dating a black woman. That can put crazy stress on the relationship, some people would make that a deal killer, some would shuffle it off.

Now, that same friend, is so very happily married (to one of the whitest guys you would ever want to meet LOL)

Living with a wide group of friends from every background and every station in life, I’ve seen happy interracial marriages and bad interracial marriages. It all comes from the people involved.
 
Is that necessarily bad though,because shouldn’t someone only marry someone they feel very compatible with and that might take “knowing” a few guys (or girls vice versa)?
 
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For me personally,I don’t think you have done anything wrong providing that you have made it 100 % clear that you are not in a mutually exclusive relationship/not boyfriend and girlfriend yet.
A lot of people “do love” differently so he may still feel what he feels and you aren’t responsible.

You should consider too whether he is jealous because he loves you that much or whether the jealousy is rather because there is another guy on the scene.

At the same,I think in general you (and he) should focus on stop playing games and focus on maturity.
Ie:avoid games like trying to make another feel jealous,or staying friends with an ex as a potential “option b” etc…
 
How can you work out if someone is the right one if you don’t give them exclusive attention?
Uncommitted dating ,I wonder if it leads to uncommitted marriage …🤔
 
Not for me at least it doesn’t.
I strongly believe marriage should be 100% faithful and for life.
What I’m referring to more is in the beginning stages of dating/meeting men.
Once you become boyfriend/girlfriend/couple then it should definitely be committed and exclusive.

I mean more at the beginning like for example,if you were on online dating site and saw a few profiles of Catholic (or other) guys that seemed nice then you would go out on some dates with them individually to see who you were most compatible with.
If you were to just go out on dates with one guy only,over a period of months,it might not actually lead to anything if you turn out to be incompatible.

(Btw,a bit off track but I think your cat is adorable.)
 
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Not really. It was never 100% clear we weren’t exclusive. For the sake of decency it was not right. I thought about it. I had a guy I was casually seeing ask out a girl when was around. I was pretty hurt. I thought he should have at least told me he was interested in someone else. I looked like a fool. He knew I would volunteer at this place just hang out with him. For him to ask out another woman while I was present was disrespectful. Sure plenty of people defended him because we weren’t officially together and I had no right to this or that. I don’t care. It was hurtful. I never told him because I feared it would be thrown back in my face that we weren’t together.
 
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Someone did the same thing to you years ago, and yet you had to ask if it was okay when you did it to a guy?

And when you began this thread 8 days ago, had you forgotten the experience happened to you? 🤔
 
Do you think you have now done the same thing to this guy because of the hurt of the same thing happening to you in the past?
Iow sometimes a fear of commitment may exist as like an “ego game” due to a fear of not wanting to get hurt.
 
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I never told him anything. It would be slammed back in my face since we aren’t together he’s allowed to do whatever he wants I have no say, if I don’t like it, it’s my problem
 
With the man from the past I casually dated I never told him I felt hurt he asked out another girl in my presence and told everyone he liked her. I didn’t feel like I could tell him anything because he’s technically not my boyfriend so he’s allowed to ask out whomever wherever and whenever and to check out women in front of me. I felt hurt, insulted and disrespected
 
That was my point. Even having been through that feeling of hurt yourself, you asked whether it was okay that you asked someone out or flirted or whatever in front of another guy. Why wouldn’t you think it would hurt him the way it hurt you in the past?
 
Some people agreed, defended and excused his behavior and painted me as being clingy and not respecting his boundaries. My hurt feelings became my fault. It was not right.
I figured if it’s okay for a man to treat me that way then I can treat a man that way. I know it’s wrong.
I was slighted and livid women defended his right to ask out women in front of me. I was supposedly being too attached or acting like a girlfriend. we had been seeing each for 6 weeks at that time.
 
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Jump4Joy said:
If you’re casual dating someone, they aren’t your official committed partner. If they show up to a party, and you see someone else you’re more interested in, is it okay to ask for a date or accept one even if they are there?
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Sure, it’s called “better dealing” as in you spy a better deal and act on it. As long as you haven’t verbally or formally committed to someone else on an exclusive basis, it’s perfectly fine. Just, don’t expect the guy you moved on from to be understanding. Happened to me several times. When they found that pasture was all that much greener, they wanted to come back. Sorry, you’ve proved something to me. Expect it yourself if you choose to act in this manner.

Clarification; better dealing. Like when you are at a bar or a dance or any other social situation and you are talking to this women, and she is constantly looking over your shoulder to see if there is a better deal to be found.
 
Jump4Joy said:
With the man from the past I casually dated I never told him I felt hurt he asked out another girl in my presence and told everyone he liked her. I didn’t feel like I could tell him anything because he’s technically not my boyfriend so he’s allowed to ask out whomever wherever and whenever and to check out women in front of me. I felt hurt, insulted and disrespected
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It’s the golden rule, treat others as you would like to be treated.

Also, even if you are dating uncommitted, you should be able to have honest discussions with the other person on how you feel, right? If you can’t share your thoughts then why bother dating this person you don’t trust. You aren’t becoming real friends.

It also matters how you share your feelings. Instead of guilting the other person it could be ‘Wow, I was surprised that I felt jealous, guess I’m falling for you’
 
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I didn’t know how I felt would matter. I don’t like telling people how I feel. It makes me feel vulnerable
 
Jump4Joy said:
I didn’t know how I felt would matter. I don’t like telling people how I feel. It makes me feel vulnerable
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Yea, but it comes with the territory in a real relationship, and we also get hurt sometimes.
Actually caring for someone else is scary
 
I was embarrassed that I liked to him so much. It broke my heart when he liked another.
 
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