Use NFP: It Doesn't Work

[DeannaMarie]

Many posters have suggested that I ask for help. I have been VERY vocal about my need. I have asked my parish priest, parishioners (bulletin announcements), friends, the bishop, Catholic Charities, DDD, DSHS, Parent to Parent, many NFP teachers, a Creighton doctor, and many homeschool families. I do not know who else to ask.

Thank you for the prayers.

 

[utunumsint]

My wife and I have formulated a plan. I was wondering what some people think of it?

1-We are going to abstain until our child is three months, then stop night feedings and introduce bottle feeding. Hopefully that will kickstart her cycles and we can start NFP.
2-If the cycles are not readable, we will wean the child, probably around 8 or 9 months, and give NFP a try again (three of four cycles).
3-I’ve heard that excercise, taking good multi-vitamins, eating well, and reducing your stressload can help encourage normal cycles. So we will try this as well.
4-We will use the Ovacue to confirm our Sympto-Thermal observations.

If all of these fails, a priest suggested that there might be forms of the pill that would be morally acceptable in our case (e.g. they would not be abortafaciants). The moral justification for doing this is that the cycles are not really normal or natural, and it would be morally permissable to medically intervene to regulate her cycles.

Any thoughts?

God bless,
Ut

 

[Jennifer_J]

My wife and I have formulated a plan. I was wondering what some people think of it?

1-We are going to abstain until our child is three months, then stop night feedings and introduce bottle feeding. Hopefully that will kickstart her cycles and we can start NFP.
2-If the cycles are not readable, we will wean the child, probably around 8 or 9 months, and give NFP a try again (three of four cycles).
3-I’ve heard that excercise, taking good multi-vitamins, eating well, and reducing your stressload can help encourage normal cycles. So we will try this as well.
4-We will use the Ovacue to confirm our Sympto-Thermal observations.

If all of these fails, a priest suggested that there might be forms of the pill that would be morally acceptable in our case (e.g. they would not be abortafaciants). The moral justification for doing this is that the cycles are not really normal or natural, and it would be morally permissable to medically intervene to regulate her cycles.

Any thoughts?

God bless,
Ut

Very few women have regular or normal cycles. What do you mean by “not normal or natural”? Extreme bleeding? Extreme length? Just so you know, no birth control pill “regulates” a woman’s cycle…oh, it’s regular while you take the pill because the hormones trick your body into thinking it’s pregnant, and then takes the hormones away to give you a withdrawal bleed–it’s NOT a period. Once you stop taking the pill, the cause of the problem is not fixed. Whatever might be wrong with your wife’s cycles would be better fixed by having a doctor help her (along with diet, exercise, vitamins, etc) if her cycles are truly extreme.

If you have need to avoid another child, I suggest you take a postpartem breastfeeding NFP course and start charting. There is no need to wean the poor child. Your wife should watch her mucus as that’s the BEST indication of returning fertility. Any change in mucus indicates possible fertility so you abstain for 3 or 4 days.

 

[Bluegoat]

My wife and I have formulated a plan. I was wondering what some people think of it?

1-We are going to abstain until our child is three months, then stop night feedings and introduce bottle feeding. Hopefully that will kickstart her cycles and we can start NFP.
2-If the cycles are not readable, we will wean the child, probably around 8 or 9 months, and give NFP a try again (three of four cycles).
3-I’ve heard that excercise, taking good multi-vitamins, eating well, and reducing your stressload can help encourage normal cycles. So we will try this as well.
4-We will use the Ovacue to confirm our Sympto-Thermal observations.

If all of these fails, a priest suggested that there might be forms of the pill that would be morally acceptable in our case (e.g. they would not be abortafaciants). The moral justification for doing this is that the cycles are not really normal or natural, and it would be morally permissable to medically intervene to regulate her cycles.

Any thoughts?

God bless,
Ut

I would try to avoid the pill to regulate cycles, if you can find an expert who could do it another way. The pill does sometimes work for this, but other times it is just masks the real problem which needs to be fixed.

My other thought is that 8 or 9 months is very young to wean the baby.

 

[Rico_S]

1-We are going to abstain until our child is three months, then stop night feedings and introduce bottle feeding. …
2-If the cycles are not readable, we will wean the child, probably around 8 or 9 months, and give NFP a try again (three of four cycles).

Brace yourself, my friend.

 

[utunumsint]

Very few women have regular or normal cycles. What do you mean by “not normal or natural”? Extreme bleeding? Extreme length?

Extreme length 40 to 60 days, sometimes evern three months.

Just so you know, no birth control pill “regulates” a woman’s cycle…oh, it’s regular while you take the pill because the hormones trick your body into thinking it’s pregnant, and then takes the hormones away to give you a withdrawal bleed–it’s NOT a period. Once you stop taking the pill, the cause of the problem is not fixed. Whatever might be wrong with your wife’s cycles would be better fixed by having a doctor help her (along with diet, exercise, vitamins, etc) if her cycles are truly extreme.

Very few doctors are willing to help with this. She has borderline hypothyroidism, which is most likely the cause of her low estrogen surges.

If you have need to avoid another child, I suggest you take a postpartem breastfeeding NFP course and start charting.

Who offers such a course?

There is no need to wean the poor child. Your wife should watch her mucus as that’s the BEST indication of returning fertility. Any change in mucus indicates possible fertility so you abstain for 3 or 4 days.

If this works for you, then that’s great, but it certainly doesn’t work for us.

God bless,
Ut

 

[utunumsint]

I would try to avoid the pill to regulate cycles, if you can find an expert who could do it another way. The pill does sometimes work for this, but other times it is just masks the real problem which needs to be fixed.

My other thought is that 8 or 9 months is very young to wean the baby.

I agree. We will definitely try to avoid this route. Some naturopaths claim to be able to “balance your hormones” using herb supplements and vitamines, but it seems risky to me. My wife isn’t very interested.

As for weaning, I was weaned at 3 months. Our first was weaned at 2 years, then second at 12 months. I know there are benefits to extending it, but there are other considerations.

God bless,
Ut

 

[Jenny_Z]

Extreme length 40 to 60 days, sometimes evern three months.

Very few doctors are willing to help with this. She has borderline hypothyroidism, which is most likely the cause of her low estrogen surges.

Who offers such a course?

If this works for you, then that’s great, but it certainly doesn’t work for us.

God bless,
Ut

If by “other pills”, you mean something like Clomid, then that’s perfectly fine. Clomid isn’t a birth control pill, and totally fixed me (that’s how we’re having our little one!)

As long as it’s not a birth control pill, and it’s actually medication to fix her cycles, then that’s totally fine.

 

[utunumsint]

If by “other pills”, you mean something like Clomid, then that’s perfectly fine. Clomid isn’t a birth control pill, and totally fixed me (that’s how we’re having our little one!)

As long as it’s not a birth control pill, and it’s actually medication to fix her cycles, then that’s totally fine.

Maybe this is what he meant. He said he needed to talk to a moralist about our case. Anyway, I certainly trust him, since he’s Opus Dei.

God bless,
Ut

P.S. I have an appointment with him on the 17th. I’ll talk to him about our “plan” to see if we have it right, and also to ask about what he meant exactly by a non abortafaciant pill.

 

[Tosk]

My wife and I have formulated a plan. I was wondering what some people think of it?

1-We are going to abstain until our child is three months, then stop night feedings and introduce bottle feeding. Hopefully that will kickstart her cycles and we can start NFP.
2-If the cycles are not readable, we will wean the child, probably around 8 or 9 months, and give NFP a try again (three of four cycles).
3-I’ve heard that excercise, taking good multi-vitamins, eating well, and reducing your stressload can help encourage normal cycles. So we will try this as well.
4-We will use the Ovacue to confirm our Sympto-Thermal observations.

If all of these fails, a priest suggested that there might be forms of the pill that would be morally acceptable in our case (e.g. they would not be abortafaciants). The moral justification for doing this is that the cycles are not really normal or natural, and it would be morally permissable to medically intervene to regulate her cycles.

Any thoughts?

God bless,
Ut

I think it would be better if you “milked” the natural infertility from breastfeeding as long as possible. The most success my wife and I had was with her using ecological breastfeeding. When we tried to ween the baby early and jump start her cycles so we can do NFP all it did was get us pregnant sooner.

here is a link to learn more about the method

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactational_amenorrhea_method

 

[utunumsint]

I think it would be better if you “milked” the natural infertility from breastfeeding as long as possible. The most success my wife and I had was with her using ecological breastfeeding. When we tried to ween the baby early and jump start her cycles so we can do NFP all it did was get us pregnant sooner.

here is a link to learn more about the method

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactational_amenorrhea_method

Don’t tell me that!!!

On the other hand, my wife and I know too many people who got pregenant while claiming to be exclusivly breastfeeding. Sigh…

God bless,
Ut

 

[Tosk]

Don’t tell me that!!!

On the other hand, my wife and I know too many people who got pregenant while claiming to be exclusivly breastfeeding. Sigh…

God bless,
Ut

Either way you go just brace yourself. Waiting for fertility to return and reading and interpreting the signs is more of an art form than a exact science. My wife and I would have more luck just using a magic eight ball or reading tea leaves than with NFP. Having been there and done that I would just recommend breast feeding for as long as possible and then having 6 months of abstinence to let everything return to somewhat normal.

 

[Jesuslives]

No, if pregnancy would put a woman’s life in danger then she must abstain from sex. (Or practice NFP which is, obviously, more of a risk.) I just worry a bit about lurkers reading this thread, and want to echo the others and make clear what the Church believes and teaches: artificial birth control is intrinsically evil and is NEVER justified.

Okay, Thank you!

 

[Bluegoat]

Either way you go just brace yourself. Waiting for fertility to return and reading and interpreting the signs is more of an art form than a exact science. My wife and I would have more luck just using a magic eight ball or reading tea leaves than with NFP. Having been there and done that I would just recommend breast feeding for as long as possible and then having 6 months of abstinence to let everything return to somewhat normal.

I suspect that might be better too… but you would have to be very careful to follow ecological breastfeeding practices. And probably continue to chart too.

 

[kage_ar]

Don’t tell me that!!!

On the other hand, my wife and I know too many people who got pregenant while claiming to be exclusivly breastfeeding. Sigh…

God bless,
Ut

Exclusivly (sp?) breastfeeding and ecological breastfeeding are not the same thing. Ecological breastfeeding is exclusive, but it also means you feed on demand, every time, no artificial nipples of any kind (no paci, no sucking on a finger, no pumping and giving a bottle, breast ONLY for food and comfort). Co-sleeping, etc.

 

[utunumsint]

Either way you go just brace yourself. Waiting for fertility to return and reading and interpreting the signs is more of an art form than a exact science. My wife and I would have more luck just using a magic eight ball or reading tea leaves than with NFP. Having been there and done that I would just recommend breast feeding for as long as possible and then having 6 months of abstinence to let everything return to somewhat normal.

My wife practices extreeme breast feeding.

Any advice on the abstinence part? Separate beds? Frumpy clothing? Self flagelation? Cold showers?

God bless,
Ut

 

[Bluegoat]

My wife practices extreeme breast feeding.

Any advice on the abstinence part? Separate beds? Frumpy clothing? Self flagelation? Cold showers?

God bless,
Ut

I have always found breastfeeding totally kills any interest I have in sex. But Woody Allen movies also work.

 

[utunumsint]

I have always found breastfeeding totally kills any interest I have in sex. But Woody Allen movies also work.

I suppose you (or your husband) could also jump into the ocean for a cooldown.

God bless,
Ut

By the way, I love NS. I went to school there for four years.

 

[maria29]

I struggled with NFP and tracking for the longest time. Then I started using the Fertility test strips that you can buy at any drugstore. They let you know what your days are that you are ovulating and they’ve worked extremely well for us. I was highly irregular and these tests are so helpful. They are a little pricey but if you have a health spending card/account through your insurance at work they will cover the cost of them.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Don’t tell me that!!!

On the other hand, my wife and I know too many people who got pregenant while claiming to be exclusivly breastfeeding. Sigh…

God bless,
Ut

Exclusivly (sp?) breastfeeding and ecological breastfeeding are not the same thing. Ecological breastfeeding is exclusive, but it also means you feed on demand, every time, no artificial nipples of any kind (no paci, no sucking on a finger, no pumping and giving a bottle, breast ONLY for food and comfort). Co-sleeping, etc.

that’s how we so it
my fertility always returns by the 6rh month no matter what