Using most of the MGTOW Philosophy in choosing the right women?

[Pattylt]

I think women have to be careful here. I think many women like men that take the lead with the woman’s (name removed by moderator)ut or men that are decisive, not too wishy washy. A man that wants to control every situation and decision without regards to how the woman might feel is another story. Very few women want everything in their life to be decided by the man, just as men wouldn’t want women deciding everything.

So, leadership qualities aren’t the turn off. Ignoring the spouse is. Commanding the relationship is a turn off but a man that knows what he wants in life isn’t.

 

[ewohdrol]

Not particularly.

I am a lab researcher. I have 13 people below me. I’d like to think I make a pretty good leader seeing I’ve been in this role quite a long time.

My husband and I are relatively equal in our relationship. I take the lead in certain aspects of our lives (children, education) and he does most of the finance, cooking and household chores.

Just because the male doesn’t take control does not necessarily mean he is not an effective leader. I think people are confusing the two subtle differences.

 

[Felicia1]

Some people seem to have a problem treating women like people.

 

[edwest211]

I agree. Instead, for some reason, odd ‘movements’ are started that encompass no one but those who decide to take advice from people they don’t know.

 

[TheLowestHumanBeing]

I’m getting confused to these arguments here about MGTOW.
According to what I read:
So being a red pilled guy is the most safest path?
So red pilled woman are most preferable?
So searching for the right woman is like searching for the perfect diamond on rocks and boulders?

 

[Neithan]

Look at people as individuals, not as a collective “entity.” That’s really the best way through this whole “sex wars” mess. Many women will tell you “what women want” as if they are some sort of hive mind; they don’t know what women want, they only know what they themselves want, and everyone is different. Men generalizing about women don’t know any better, they only know their individual experience. Become a virtuous person, study Catholic philosophy, and stop buying into the worldly philosophies that will only lead you to despair, because there is no hope in them.

Also, bachelorhood isn’t that bad. You might think it’s impossible in your 20s to consider never having a wife, but it gets a lot easier. So, relax.

 

[Edmundus1581]

I’m getting confused to these arguments here about MGTOW.
According to what I read:
So being a red pilled guy is the most safest path?
So red pilled woman are most preferable?
So searching for the right woman is like searching for the perfect diamond on rocks and boulders?

Myself and @MagdalenaRita, and possibly others, have advised you, in utmost seriousness, to consider why you have chosen the screen name you have.

While you carry that image of yourself any other romantic advise is redundant.

Such a self image may be suitable for a monk seeking perfection in the religious life, but it is not for anyone in living in the world.

We all have shame, often deep shame, but we don’t identify ourselves by it.

 

[TheLowestHumanBeing]

About my screen name, just randomly guessed it since I can’t come up with a username that is awesome. SO you are saying that my username reflects who I am? Of course not so guessing something that doesn’t represent my true self at all. I can come up with random usernames in every website that II register to.
Above all I know my mistakes, I right now I am working on them as what you had stated here in this post. Off course I want a family. I am making myself to be the best person I am, I rejected the MGTOW Philosophy and embraced what the bible can offer regarding Patriarchy. I guess I was deluded with that infernal philosophy (MGTOW) that poisoned my views on women. After rejecting that, my heart feels at peace. I am happy and with all your advises and it helped me a lot.

The most depressing part of the post is this:

Such a self image may be suitable for a monk seeking perfection in the religious life, but it is not for anyone in living in the world.

Which is not true.
Above all bringing my confidence to God’s Mercy to my heart makes me feel confident that in the future I can find that right woman.
Thank You Guys.
I believe this will be my last post here and on CATHOLIC ANSWERS FORUM regarding about dating women.
Farewell.

 

[Edmundus1581]

About my screen name, just randomly guessed it since I can’t come up with a username that is awesome. SO you are saying that my username reflects who I am? Of course not so guessing something that doesn’t represent my true self at all. I can come up with random usernames in every website that II register to.
Above all I know my mistakes, I right now I am working on them as what you had stated here in this post. Off course I want a family. I am making myself to be the best person I am, I rejected the MGTOW Philosophy and embraced what the bible can offer regarding Patriarchy. I guess I was deluded with that infernal philosophy (MGTOW) that poisoned my views on women. After rejecting that, my heart feels at peace. I am happy and with all your advises and it helped me a lot.

The most depressing part of the post is this:

Edmundus1581:

Such a self image may be suitable for a monk seeking perfection in the religious life, but it is not for anyone in living in the world.

Which is not true.
Above all bringing my confidence to God’s Mercy to my heart makes me feel confident that in the future I can find that right woman.
Thank You Guys.
I believe this will be my last post here and on CATHOLIC ANSWERS FORUM regarding about dating women.
Farewell.

Thankyou for addressing my question.

My advice on that matter is also final, so I won’t debate the issue.

Best wishes, and you have my prayers.

 

[ewohdrol]

Wow. Edmundus - I am really saddened you feel this way about relationships in general. I truly hope one day you meet someone that meets your needs and gives you the love you deserve.

There is so much more to a marriage than love and sex. Companionship, a mutual support of each others strengths, financial stability etc.

May I ask what you mean about financial return? Do you mean a partner that refuses to work? (excluding stay at home parents of course - they are working!).

I’m still unsure what you mean about it being tilted in favour of the woman? Can you give examples? In my observations there are - more single mothers than fathers, more men dodging the payment of child support than mothers, more domestic violence directed at women, more financial abuse against women. Certainly the stats suggest more men cheat than women. While divorces are initiated my women at a higher rate, men leave their wives for other women at a alarmingly higher rate.

I suspect the law and societal expectations were once heavily favoured towards men. Pushes have enabled the pendulum to swing - and women’s rights are more protected. I don’t think they are ‘absurdly favoured’. Unless I am missing something?

Good luck to you.

 

[Edmundus1581]

Wow. Edmundus - I am really saddened you feel this way about relationships in general. I truly hope one day you meet someone that meets your needs and gives you the love you deserve.

There is so much more to a marriage than love and sex. Companionship, a mutual support of each others strengths, financial stability etc.

May I ask what you mean about financial return? Do you mean a partner that refuses to work? (excluding stay at home parents of course - they are working!).

I’m still unsure what you mean about it being tilted in favour of the woman? Can you give examples? In my observations there are - more single mothers than fathers, more men dodging the payment of child support than mothers, more domestic violence directed at women, more financial abuse against women. Certainly the stats suggest more men cheat than women. While divorces are initiated my women at a higher rate, men leave their wives for other women at a alarmingly higher rate.

I suspect the law and societal expectations were once heavily favoured towards men. Pushes have enabled the pendulum to swing - and women’s rights are more protected. I don’t think they are ‘absurdly favoured’. Unless I am missing something?

Good luck to you.

Thankyou for your thoughtful post and questions. I’ll have to leave it there to get on with work (it’s Monday here), but if I don’t get back to you then I appreciate your care.

I’ll just briefly answer your question about

Mine:

Everyone knows it, and that is why the players of both sexes are so successful. A man fakes “love” to trick women into sex, and a woman fakes “respect” to trick a man into marriage, or, these days, any relationship long enough to qualify for a financial return.

Yours:

May I ask what you mean about financial return? Do you mean a partner that refuses to work? (excluding stay at home parents of course - they are working!).

Perhaps I was unclear here about “a man” and “a woman”. I was referring to the “players” who know how to take advantage of the opposite sex. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

In current legislation a (player) woman can get a “financial return” from relationships which don’t involve marriage. Pregnancy is enough, or long term cohabitation. That’s what I meant by “long enough to qualify for a financial return”.

When my brother took up with his last partner ten years ago, my step-father met her once and told my mother “She’s going to spend all your money, and then leave him”. My mother is wealthy, which is why my step-father referred to her money. The relationship lasted ten years, they never married, and had one child. My step-father’s prognosis was 100% accurate, except that my mother was canny enough to limit the damage to $200,000, rather than the $2,000,000 (of mum’s money) the ex sought, and could have got, for their 10 year “relationship”. Their child continues to suffer grievously from the mother’s exploitation of her for money, from both the government and my brother.

 

[edwest211]

Flagged. characters

 

[Lea101]

Then you don’t like men to be leaders?

Putting marriage aside, because that’s a whole other debate…how does a man leading a woman look like in a relationship?

Women want to be loved. That is leadership, not a conversation.

Men want to be respected. That is a commitment, not a performance evaluation.

It’s safe to say that both are very important for each partner.

 

[Felicia1]

When my brother took up with his last partner ten years ago, my step-father met her once and told my mother “She’s going to spend all your money, and then leave him”. My mother is wealthy, which is why my step-father referred to her money. The relationship lasted ten years, they never married, and had one child. My step-father’s prognosis was 100% accurate, except that my mother was canny enough to limit the damage to $200,000, rather than $2,000,000 (of mum’s money) the ex sought, and could have got, for their 10 “relationship”.

This really doesn’t make any sense.

I hope you find peace and learn again to love and trust and see people as more than just a means to an end.

 

[TheLittleLady]

While you carry that image of yourself any other romantic advise is redundant.

As Harlan Ellison said, women can smell desperation like panther sweat.

Someone with such an image will only attract people who want to use and dominate.

Humility and kindness is not the same thing as “I am the lowest human being”.

 

[edwest211]

Harlan Ellison? The last person I’d seek any sort of advice from.

 

[niceatheist]

redbetta:

MGTOW

Yep, it is a very anti-Christian sort of movement.

It looks like Incel nonsense. Men who have rendered themselves absolutely unattractive to women then gather together, find ways to distort their view of women even more, thus making them even more unattractive, and then blaming women as an entire group because, oddly enough, women don’t seem to have much desire to be with men with self-constructed chips on their shoulders.

 

[niceatheist]

Harlan Ellison? The last person I’d seek any sort of advice from.

On this I would agree. Ellison was a reasonably good writer, but his behavior was notoriously self-absorbed. He was a real prima dona, someone absolutely convinced of his own brilliance. I remember in William Shatner’s Trek book where he describes how he was dispatched to Ellison’s house when Roddenberry was trying to get The City On The Edge Of Tomorrow into something approaching a filmable script. Needless to say, Ellison, in typical fashion, wanted what he wanted and was incapable of compromise.

 

[edwest211]

I saw Mr. Ellison at a convention. His behavior left a bit to be desired.

 

[TheLittleLady]

That line, however, is very true. Desperation is the best way to repel a potential date.