Vatican announces desire for more restrained sign of peace at Mass

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maryj said:
I know how ouchy this is, I have RA in my hands. Little tip, try reaching for their hand first and grab them by the wrist…then there is no squeezing of the hand! I’m rubbing my hands just thinking about it…now back to your regular schedualed debate!!
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A good suggestion. I’m also quite petite so my reach isn’t as long as other adults. Men’s hands look like meat hooks to me. And they often use them like meat hooks–grappling instead of merely holding my hand.
 
Della said:
A good suggestion. I’m also quite petite so my reach isn’t as long as other adults. Men’s hands look like meat hooks to me. And they often use them like meat hooks–grappling instead of merely holding my hand.
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I tend to think this is why people hug. It’s less painful. I notice the older people in my parish do this. They seldom shake hands.
 
Della said:
That makes perfect sense. :yup:
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Not really, there are lots of older people that have shoulder pain and hugging is difficult. I agree with the Vatican. Less fuss and more reverence, all the way around. The Mass is about Our Lord and our worship of HIM. We should be respectful, quiet, modest and prayerful. God Bless, memaw
 
Memaw said:
Not really, there are lots of older people that have shoulder pain and hugging is difficult. I agree with the Vatican. Less fuss and more reverence, all the way around. The Mass is about Our Lord and our worship of HIM. We should be respectful, quiet, modest and prayerful. God Bless, memaw
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Well, between close friends I can see no harm in hugs as long as they are quick and appropriate. My dh and I kiss–no on is scandalized and it does nothing to disrupt Mass nor take our attention away from God. Family and friends sharing a brief exchange is fine. I don’t think the Vatican has any problem with that. It’s the congregation talking, waving, shouting, and roaming the aisles–priests and altar servers leaving the altar/sanctuary that is the real problem. 🙂
 
njlisa said:
My parish also hold hands during the Our Father. I really dislike that practice. It makes me nervous and I can’t concentrate on the prayer. All I’m thinking of is how quickly I can drop the hand of the stranger near me. I don’t think of fellow parishioners as being beneath me. I just don’t want to hold hands.
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Maybe I’m petty but that would bother me a lot. I already try and pick a seat so I don’t have to shake too many hands during the sign of peace (I’m not proud of this but it is what it is), holding hands during the Our Father would either make me switch parishes or simply sit in the back away from everybody else.
 
Memaw said:
The Mass is about Our Lord and our worship of HIM. We should be respectful, quiet, modest and prayerful. God Bless, memaw
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Are denying that there is an element in the Mass is both vertical (to God) as well as horizontal (among fratres)? Should there not be “an holy kiss of peace” which is, appropriate to our era (i.e. saking hands or a hug)?
 
Memaw said:
The Mass is about Our Lord and our worship of HIM. We should be respectful, quiet, modest and prayerful. God Bless, memaw
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YOU
Are denying that there is an element in the Mass is both vertical (to God) as well as horizontal (among fratres)? Should there not be “an holy kiss of peace” which is, appropriate to our era (like modest clothing is appropriate to our era)?
 
J_Peterson said:
Maybe I’m petty but that would bother me a lot. I already try and pick a seat so I don’t have to shake too many hands during the sign of peace (I’m not proud of this but it is what it is), holding hands during the Our Father would either make me switch parishes or simply sit in the back away from everybody else.
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I don’t think you’re petty. 🙂 Forced familiarity is a plague in our times, IMHO. I hate being called by my first name at the doctor’s/dentist’s office, for example. I’m Mrs._____. It’s right there on my chart. I don’t like shaking hands with car dealers and other people who are there to sell me something because I feel it is insincere.

To my mind the kiss of peace ought to be simple and dignified. A kiss/hug between family members/friends is fine–they know each other. Between strangers–exchanging even a handshake it can be awkward and more than a few can be pushy about it. There’s a balance there that some parishes find and others don’t. Mine has, thanks be. Still, I have to protect my hands from being squeezed too hard by well meaning people who don’t know their own strength, so I understand your dilemma and reluctance. :yup:
 
Della said:
I don’t think you’re petty. 🙂 Forced familiarity is a plague in our times, IMHO. I hate being called by my first name at the doctor’s/dentist’s office, for example. I’m Mrs._____. It’s right there on my chart. I don’t like shaking hands with car dealers and other people who are there to sell me something because I feel it is insincere.

To my mind the kiss of peace ought to be simple and dignified. A kiss/hug between family members/friends is fine–they know each other. Between strangers–exchanging even a handshake it can be awkward and more than a few can be pushy about it. There’s a balance there that some parishes find and others don’t. Mine has, thanks be. Still, I have to protect my hands from being squeezed too hard by well meaning people who don’t know their own strength, so I understand your dilemma and reluctance. :yup:
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It was a post similar to yours that made me pay attention to body language during the sign of peace (may have been you, it was a while ago). I wait for the okay before putting my hand out and when I do shake hands I give a pretty limp handshake. My home parish is okay with it. Some of the older ladies in the front like to turn around and wave to everyone (which is kind of cute). When there is a Baptism, all bets are off. I think people are still shaking hands while I’m kneeling after the Lamb of God.

I’ve been trying to get away with a nod lately. I think my main problem is I’m shy and get nervous when I have to interact with others like that.
 
ory for the double post, All. Posting from my phone can be a hazard sometimes. I draft, then refine, then post. If I get booted, the draft may or may not get posted. : blush:
 
Miserissima said:
How about we take a lesson from parochial school on this?

Shake hands left, right, front back. Not spouses, sisters, or great aunts, or your bestie. Smile at little Suzie across the way, if you must. Nod, maybe.
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When one is dealing with children, a little more regimentation is vital. For adults, I prefer to treat them as adults.
 
pnewton said:
When one is dealing with children, a little more regimentation is vital. For adults, I prefer to treat them as adults.
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And I prefer they act like adults and do as the Church recommends in their behavior. God Bless, Memaw
 
Della said:
Well, between close friends I can see no harm in hugs as long as they are quick and appropriate. My dh and I kiss–no on is scandalized and it does nothing to disrupt Mass nor take our attention away from God. Family and friends sharing a brief exchange is fine. I don’t think the Vatican has any problem with that. It’s the congregation talking, waving, shouting, and roaming the aisles–priests and altar servers leaving the altar/sanctuary that is the real problem. 🙂
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The Sign of Peace is a ritual gesture. Family and friends don’t enter into it, it should be the same for everyone. The Vatican talks about eliminating “familiar and profane gestures of greeting” so, yes, it has a problem with that.
 
pnewton said:
When one is dealing with children, a little more regimentation is vital. For adults, I prefer to treat them as adults.
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But it’s the adults who are shouting and roaming and gabbing at the SOP. 😛 That’s their pastor’s doing more than theirs because many people really do not know how to behave at Mass any more. They treat going to Mass like going to the movies, or worse, to a sports event. They think they can talk and laugh and eat and do whatever they want. Reminding people of where they are and in whose presence they are is needed, and in some cases, long overdo.
 
The large parish near us has everyone stand and “introduce themselves to those around them” before the Processional. Then, at the Sign of Peace, the entire thing is repeated. Seems silly and inappropriate. I seldom hear anyone use the word “peace” during that time…it’s usually just a handshake with maybe a “hello” thrown in. I always say “Peace be with you.” or “Peace” if there isn’t time for more.

It is a part of the Mass I wish would change.
 
Petaro said:
Let us hope for the return of some good Anglo-Saxon rectictude in this. I personally abhor having to shake hands with a lot of sweaty pensioners, much less see women in their eighties rushing around hugging indiscriminately, and other women holding each other’s temples in something similar to the Vulcan mind merge. All very ucky when a polite bow is as good.
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Agreed, and will add my huge pet peeve - that families greet each other before greeting their neighbors. I hardly think this is the point of the sign of peace. Hug and kiss your family at home. It is very uncomfortable as a single person as everyone turns away from you to greet his or her husband/child/mother/father, etc. Growing up in my Protestant church, my parents never greeted me - how dumb would that have been? They immediately turned to the newcomer sharing the pew or sitting next to them to make them feel welcome. Of course, that’s an area where Catholics are generally very lacking to begin with, and it would be a nice gesture if used properly, but it isn’t. So I say scrap it.
 
Miserissima said:
YOU
Are denying that there is an element in the Mass is both vertical (to God) as well as horizontal (among fratres)? Should there not be “an holy kiss of peace” which is, appropriate to our era (like modest clothing is appropriate to our era)?
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Oh no I am NOT. Are you saying that for centuries, we did not have the vertical element at all? We are there as a community to worship Our Lord, not each other. It might be nice if they kept it as a “Holy Kiss of Peace” but that is not what it has become. That does NOT mean a kiss or hug, it’s meant as a verbal greeting. "Peace of Christ be with you. That’ s a prayer " It’s gotten way out of hand in some parishes and lost the true meaning. God Bless, Memaw
 
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