…I agree, but cannot say whether his attitude is due to sincere affection for his wife or, …, simple desire to get what he wants when he wants it as he wants it. …I wonder…What percetnage risk is he okay with?..There are only 2 things that remove any and all risk. Castration of either party or to abstain completely until menopause. …I wonder if they would ever feel truely “safe” having sex with their spouse?..Why would you be willing to risk more for 1 child than you would for a 4th child? …I would gladly give my life for any of them,…They are my children!
Dear Rob’s Wife, et. al.:
I can’t help, but think that he does of course, have affection for his wife, and it is expressed through sex, and the love too; though, I am disturbed that the loss of sexual intercourse to him, would be of such importance that it would jeopardize his marriage–you seem to share his wife’s view of pregnancy, the intimacy, the passion through sexual intercourse, and the commitment deeply felt both by her, and by you sound impressive against his desire to keep his wife alive; I know this is difficult: he has emotions to work out–I think that his attitude is just bad, no matter the reason for his upset about sexual relations with his wife; frustrating as it must be for him, and for her. I probably am repeating myself: I seem to be having a hard time understanding the conflict–he would like a non-threatening method of sexual intercourse with his wife; she would like sexual intercourse with him, receptive to all the risks inclusive of the loss, of her own life; yet, with the provision risk may be reduced with Natural Family Planning (NFP)–he would like another method of prevention–there doesn’t appear to be any conflict about having sex; there only is a conflict about the method of sexual intercourse with respect to prevention of a pregnancy and therefore, prevention of the loss, of her life and therefore, the loss of his animosity, or blame toward his child; should there happen to be one for her death; should there happen to be a death. Did I lose anyone?
I think that the conflict is between a method of birth control acceptable to him, and acceptable to her–they disagree; mostly for the reason, he would like greater assurance, greater control over her life–does she live; does she die. He has no control over this, and he is thinking about marriage in terms of a union; yet, does she agree: he should abstain, sexually; though she would accept the loss of her own life, with the conception, or birth of a child, which I think must remain an uncertainty; though, a heightened risk, because her uterine wall is thin; what is unknown about any future pregnancy, which might lessen any damage her uterine wall could sustain, I mean: not every pregnancy from this point forward will provide the same risk to her uterine wall, but might actually prove less of a strain to her uterine wall, than everyone is thinking–preemies, and whatever else, very easy births.
I ought to look more closely at your questions: I’m not a woman, but as a man in his position: I would still want my wife; though, I would love a child through her, at the risk of her life, I would grieve her death; should it actually occur–I mean: I would marry my wife knowing that she could lose me the next day–I risk my life, for many more situations than the birth of my child, than for the love, the affection I have for my wife, (Speaking hypothetically), either through sexual intercourse, or through whatever else might be the case–as I stop and think about it: I may not have placed my life on the line for less, but I sure never received a child from anyone as a consequence of risking my life; though, I lost my child’s life, because my ex-fiance and her family agreed that their child should be aborted–my experiences are similar to this man’s; though, the sexual intercourse between us remained receptive, by-and-large on my part alone, all too often on my side of the fence, and I knew that she had her views, and her family had their views on abortion, and I did what I could between seventeen and eighteen to stop the sexual activity, because I knew her views conflicted with mine; it was difficult emotionally, in many respects–humiliating as it must sound too many, coming from a male: I was raped; though, never really forced to comply sexually with her seduction–I was uncomfortable, and it is complex, because I made my mistake to advance her way;…there isn’t anyway for me to look good; defend myself, and say, respect for the dignity of all involved never was destroyed–his situation is different, but it is the same to the extent that sexual intercourse with someone might result in the loss of human life;…of course, my sexual involvement with someone resulted in the death, the murder of my child, as I see it: being familiar with her, and her family’s view.
Most sincerely,
Kristopher
rely on “averages.” Bleeeeeck! 
**