D
DailyBread
Guest
He is referring to the fact that the fertile period for a wife is most desirous which makes sense from a physiological perspective especially if you want to continue the speices.
- Status
K
Kristopher
Guest
I’m not sure I understand who the personal pronoun “He” used as a reference to some male, but I think that you intended to say, Rob’s Wife, yes?
D
DailyBread
Guest
Yes I was referring to Rob’sWife, and sorry it should be She, not He then. Please accept my apology Rob’sWife (for some reason I just saw Rob)
R
Rob_s_Wife
Guest
Yes, that is what she (I’m) referring too. It’s basic biology. The second part referring to the fact not everyone has a nice black/white chart clearly showing when it’s clear to abstain or not, which means they will need to err on the side of caution and abstain more often, sometimes much more often. This is not the fault of the couple or the method - it’s just the way it is for some women.
no problem.
Again. I think you have to do more than read the book to fully appreciate this. The book is just the beginning. Real life application is a whole other thing.
M
Morwenna
Guest
I can’t offer any useful advice from a personal standpoint, but has anyone on the forum tried this product (or something similar)? :
ovwatch.com/
It’s intended for help with conception, but it seems that it might also be helpful in p(name removed by moderator)ointing the fertile days so that the couple could abstain during that time. Perhaps it would be helpful in cases where the cycles are somewhat unpredictable?
ovwatch.com/
It’s intended for help with conception, but it seems that it might also be helpful in p(name removed by moderator)ointing the fertile days so that the couple could abstain during that time. Perhaps it would be helpful in cases where the cycles are somewhat unpredictable?
F
fullofzeal
Guest
A vasectomy is never the answer, Catholic or not, take it from someone who had one and regrets it terribly (I came back to church after having it) Now, my wife is not catholic and refuses to entertain me having it reversed. Very sad indeed, and so a cross to carry. Also while we were in the process of me getting an annuhlment from my first marriage(wife left me and ruined another marriage) and preparing for catholic validation of our marriage, we lived in a brother-sister relationship for about one year. And it was a tremendous blessing…amazing the other wonderful things about people outside of EROS. If I were you and I know I’m not you…but if I were, I would be willing to forego sex(IF IT’S WHAT YOU REALLY HAD TO DO) if it meant the health and safety of my wife. When Jesus says we have to pick up our crosses and carry them this is the type of sacrifice required, not just the ordinary trappings of daily life. This is a hard thing, it’s true, but marriage, as we know, is not meant for sex merely, it’s also for bringing about the wholeness, completeness of the other and to help make each other holy. You are called to complete her and her you in order to become one. God calls us to these types of things at times to bring about a greater value in the sacramental nature of the marriage, sometimes for short periods and sometimes for longer. Not having sex can be looked at as a blessing or a disaster for a marriage. You would do well (I mean this in all charity) to enter into an RCIA program and become one spiritually with this woman you love. Things will work out, according to God’s will, whether you decide to have more kids or not. Pray together, this is really important, asking God “What wilt*** thou*** have us do?” I’ll pray for you tonight. Pray to St. Gianna Molla.
peace and love to you both.
peace and love to you both.
D
DeeplyConcerned
Guest
Some food for though
all the babies have been 9.7 - 11.5 Pounds ( high end big babies but normal ) 21.5-22" Long,my wife is 5’1" I
she has scar tissue from 4 c-sections and what is considered to be a VERY WEAK uterus because they could find anything to Stitch together. i
for her tubaligation/uteran removal is a no no …
for her my getting a Vesectomy is a no no
anything the constitutes the Removal of her change to Concieve is “WRONG” and against the church , and against our marriage.
for me i c a woman that has gone through 4 major surgeries, who spends her day at home with 3 kids, and the 4th one when done from school. she isn
i
the example of a bad heart, bad kidneys, bad eyes, etc. and a transplant being preformed is logical to me in this situation. if somethings broke fix it. however in the catholic sense of life that would be Going against GOD
which then becomes a conflict to me because every woman is different, ever man is different, its just not cut and dry we all have different medical backgrounds, exposures, etc. Different Genetics different results in how our bodys function and work.
with this we also have differing opinions. which is where the Struggle comes in.
i
I would think and hope that for the better ment of her life and our marriage ( and i don
i find there is contradiction through life, and through faith , that becomes less and less of do they apply to or do they still go hand in hand with todays world.
i love my wife dearly, i love spending time with her, playing games, take the kids out for walks , and to the park, and camping. i love cuddling with her, and holding her.
but this differnace of opinion is what is taking our marriage to the edge. to me this is a simple matter of ( and i don
and to her that means don
DC
all the babies have been 9.7 - 11.5 Pounds ( high end big babies but normal ) 21.5-22" Long,my wife is 5’1" I
m 6'2" NONE of them have Dropped Ever her labours have been Good dialiating properly and the last 3 babies she has Fought for a Vbac and they have given her that Chance ...with no Progression regarding baby dropping. she did dialate and made it to 8.5 cm i realize the Uteris is thin...and strechy, but its scarry to see someone you love on a table being sliced open, only to see two OBGYNs looking at how to get her back to gether again ( humpty dumpty )she has scar tissue from 4 c-sections and what is considered to be a VERY WEAK uterus because they could find anything to Stitch together. i
m sorry i went on a bit of a rant..... im overly upset at the Situation and maybe have not displayed it best nore Responded the best.for her tubaligation/uteran removal is a no no …
for her my getting a Vesectomy is a no no
anything the constitutes the Removal of her change to Concieve is “WRONG” and against the church , and against our marriage.
for me i c a woman that has gone through 4 major surgeries, who spends her day at home with 3 kids, and the 4th one when done from school. she isn
t Postpartum from what anyone can tell. even i, think i would know. she wants more kids, but we have been Advised ( both by an OBGYN, and a Catholic Mid Wife/birth practicioner ) that it is advised we dont have Any more given the damage done. and the possible results after the C-section ( we were told it was iffy if we could have a 4th after the 3rd c-section because her uterus was looking as though the scar tissue was tearing from the Previous ones then.i
m a Firm Beliver in the catholic faith to be some what Hypocritical in many ways , however im also willing to listen, and take advice within reason.the example of a bad heart, bad kidneys, bad eyes, etc. and a transplant being preformed is logical to me in this situation. if somethings broke fix it. however in the catholic sense of life that would be Going against GOD
s will would it not? ( if its your time who are you to chose to take that choice from god to take you, hence doing something to repair yourself would be going against gods will ) hence the reason why i think my wife is NO NO to removal, or any chance of dissallowing the possibility of life.which then becomes a conflict to me because every woman is different, ever man is different, its just not cut and dry we all have different medical backgrounds, exposures, etc. Different Genetics different results in how our bodys function and work.
with this we also have differing opinions. which is where the Struggle comes in.
i
m of the opinion that Aborting her life, or the possibility of that is inconcieveable. she is of the opinion that if its her time its her time, bad uterus or not. thats not my way of thinking, and it seems to be wrong from a catholic perspective unless your wishing to be a Martyr......... which i dont believe she is …but she also has said she would feel like less of a woman or not womanly, and i disagree with this… my only concern in that is Pre-menopause…and the Hormones she would have to take for the next however many years because she is 24. ( hehehehe forgot her b-day passed, see im Human ) id get fixed , but the suggestion results in your going against our marriage Vows and your pledge to me and “god” …and she will seek an anulment or leave me.I would think and hope that for the better ment of her life and our marriage ( and i don
t mean from a FREE sex perspective that some may take it or see it as ) that she would consider this for "Our family" and her Health and life. its odd " birth control " is okay for Medical reasons..... andit would cause the stoppage of Conception. However she apparently has been advised against it ( this situation doesnt apply, according to our priest )i find there is contradiction through life, and through faith , that becomes less and less of do they apply to or do they still go hand in hand with todays world.
i love my wife dearly, i love spending time with her, playing games, take the kids out for walks , and to the park, and camping. i love cuddling with her, and holding her.
but this differnace of opinion is what is taking our marriage to the edge. to me this is a simple matter of ( and i don
t want to but im not catholic ) getting a vasectomy.and to her that means don
t come back. :( hopefully that will shed some different light on the situation , or maybe not ... but its looks more clearly explained from my previous posts. And my head just so happes to be on a Bit straighter this morning......... now time to get ready for Church... we attend a Latin mass in our community. and i take care of the Luncheon after Mass that feeds rought 150-200 People. take care all, will chat next time my Head is on Straight. and im not so testy/frustratedDC
I
Island_Oak
Guest
I am sure to blasted as a disobedient relativist…but I’ll go out on the limb on this one. I’m with the OP in his frustration and discouragement–and desire to seek a medical solution to this dilema GIVEN his unique and extreme circumstances. I do not believe for a moment we were intended by God to live lives of utter frustration, separation from our spouses, despair, bitterness or worry.
I believe in the principle of openness to life…up to the point at which that openess becomes destructive or suicidal. I also don’t think that life long celibacy within a marriage is required, reasonable or healthy where it is not possible to reliably prevent a dangerous pregnancy due, not to lack of effort or dedication or desire, but simply to physical imperfection and irregularity.
Catholicism was never meant to be a faith for only the perfectly disciplined. Yet in regard to complications of fertility, that is in effect what is expected. “Don’t have a regular cycle with which to practice NFP, and do have a life threatening condition that would arise with pregnancy, then just don’t have sex for the next 40 years.” Nope. Illogical, unreasonable, counter-productive, destructive, inhumane, legalistic bondage.
The exception this man seeks is for extreme circumstances, not minor inconvenience. I think there should be opportunity to seek relief from man-made rules which, in ordinary application are challenging, but morally coherent and honorable when they become cruel and punishing in the rare, but very real and painful circumstances this man has described.
Let the rotten tomatoes fly…
I believe in the principle of openness to life…up to the point at which that openess becomes destructive or suicidal. I also don’t think that life long celibacy within a marriage is required, reasonable or healthy where it is not possible to reliably prevent a dangerous pregnancy due, not to lack of effort or dedication or desire, but simply to physical imperfection and irregularity.
Catholicism was never meant to be a faith for only the perfectly disciplined. Yet in regard to complications of fertility, that is in effect what is expected. “Don’t have a regular cycle with which to practice NFP, and do have a life threatening condition that would arise with pregnancy, then just don’t have sex for the next 40 years.” Nope. Illogical, unreasonable, counter-productive, destructive, inhumane, legalistic bondage.
The exception this man seeks is for extreme circumstances, not minor inconvenience. I think there should be opportunity to seek relief from man-made rules which, in ordinary application are challenging, but morally coherent and honorable when they become cruel and punishing in the rare, but very real and painful circumstances this man has described.
Let the rotten tomatoes fly…
L
LilyM
Guest
I’m not gonna send any rotten tomatoes flying. I thought I’d get my :twocents: in before any do come your way. Doesn’t mean I agree with you 100% though.
With all respect, there are marriages where for one reason or another one of the partners becomes incapable of having sex for extended periods of time - due to physical or mental illness for example. Many partners have sufficient attachment to their spouses absent the sexual element to stay with them and love them regardless of whether or not they are capable of having sex. They don’t find it unreasonably burdensome, inhumane or destructive to live in this way.
As lovely and wonderful and important as sex is within a marital relationship, the Church, speaking as many believe it does on God’s behalf, doesn’t want it be viewed either as an automatic right or requirement or as the be-all and end-all of the relationship either.
They (and thus, according to most committed Catholics, God as well) holds to the idea that ALL married couples should develop their relationship sufficiently outside the sexual element for the marriage to be able to survive without. After all, Eve was made as a ‘helpmate’ (love that word) for Adam, not just a sexual partner or mother of his children.
Unfortunately a lot of couples don’t think about this enough, either before marriage or during the point where the sexual elements are humming along just fine.
With all respect, there are marriages where for one reason or another one of the partners becomes incapable of having sex for extended periods of time - due to physical or mental illness for example. Many partners have sufficient attachment to their spouses absent the sexual element to stay with them and love them regardless of whether or not they are capable of having sex. They don’t find it unreasonably burdensome, inhumane or destructive to live in this way.
As lovely and wonderful and important as sex is within a marital relationship, the Church, speaking as many believe it does on God’s behalf, doesn’t want it be viewed either as an automatic right or requirement or as the be-all and end-all of the relationship either.
They (and thus, according to most committed Catholics, God as well) holds to the idea that ALL married couples should develop their relationship sufficiently outside the sexual element for the marriage to be able to survive without. After all, Eve was made as a ‘helpmate’ (love that word) for Adam, not just a sexual partner or mother of his children.
Unfortunately a lot of couples don’t think about this enough, either before marriage or during the point where the sexual elements are humming along just fine.
R
Rob_s_Wife
Guest
I don’t know that she actively wants to try for more children? It seemed to me more an issue of “should I become pregnant - than so be it according to His will”. That is no where near the same as unwilling to use NFP or a desire to try to have more children. The Catholic Church does not expect her to TRY to conceive more children against medical advice. However, if by chance (say the vas heals in 10 years as for my friend or they are one of those 5% that gets pregnant using NFP perfectly) she should get pregnant - the Church most certainly does expect her to have that child. Also, the Church does not condemn a women for having children against medical advice, either on purpose or by chance.
I agree they both need counseling. Go to the priest and discuss this major problem TOGETHER and find a compromise. There IS compromise to be found in this situation that will conform to her faith and not be deemed suicidal.
Very well and kindly said. I agree.To the OP. Be kind to your wife. Do not blame her for your marriage problem. It is not her fault anymore than it is yours. It seems you both are being stubborn in this. There seems to be 2 ultimatims here:
Get a vas and the marriage is over.
Risk pregnancy more than I’m willing to risk it and the marriage is over.
Really this is not about getting a vas or not.
This is about the level of risk either of you are comfortable with taking in the possibility of a pregnancy. Your wife seems to be more comfortable with a higher risk than you are. The only thing you seem to agree on is neither of you feel a need a for 100% risk free situation.
D
DeeplyConcerned
Guest
NFP would be great …don
and usually 2 fertility Periods during that Span.
hence why i am willing to forego the Relations on a sexual level out of Concern.
and her fertile periods ( being sometimes 2 a month ) combined with the Possibility that my Sperm may live up to 10 days. doesn
this is a Concern for her well being and the well being of the Family Unit as a whole.
the intimacy thing, which would be nice to be able to continue, since we have entered into a Marital Bond because we Love each other is a Plus factor, much the same as it is to anyone to share themselves with their partner, in a union.
but when it invloves the Loss of life … Hers or a baby
i want the Love, but i also want Life, my wife
t get me wrong. but the draw back is as i said a lack of a Proper cycle like "Other women have " if i grab my wifes calendar she has had numerous different cycles through the course of not being pregnant some of which have gone 24 days . other which have lasted 35 days betweenand usually 2 fertility Periods during that Span.
hence why i am willing to forego the Relations on a sexual level out of Concern.
and her fertile periods ( being sometimes 2 a month ) combined with the Possibility that my Sperm may live up to 10 days. doesn
t make the situation Overly great in regards to using NFP hence forthe the reason why i can say that for us its a 50/50 CHANCE. this isnt a Losing Intimacy thing ( intercourse ) i love her no matter what.this is a Concern for her well being and the well being of the Family Unit as a whole.
the intimacy thing, which would be nice to be able to continue, since we have entered into a Marital Bond because we Love each other is a Plus factor, much the same as it is to anyone to share themselves with their partner, in a union.
but when it invloves the Loss of life … Hers or a baby
s .... its not worth it in the whole Perspective. it to me looks more like im willing to forefit her life or the life of a child for the Sake of the Intercourse, and marital Love.i want the Love, but i also want Life, my wife
s to continue. and it seems the best way to have that is to forego relations on an Intimate Level. Difficult Yes ..... achievable remains to be seen. AS ive said i am arranging a meeting with a Priest who was a Doctor… i will update the MSG board after i can arrange the meeting as to when and then as to what was said or reccomended. its evident Other people are also having the same Issues… but other courses of action are working in their Benefit.
B
BEattitude
Guest
Well Deeply, you reject any and all advice given to you and you have an excuse for everything! It sounds like you just want to find a reason to be miserable! You claim that your marriage is already in ruins, and you wont take any advice because it may affect your marriage negatively! Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? It is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result! The fact that your wife keeps on threatening anullment tells me that your marriage is on the rocks! True love keeps no record of wrong doings according to St. Pauls letter to the Corinthians! Its sounds to me like you have more serious issues than the pregnancy stuff!
Also in St. Pauls letter he tells a husband and a wife not to abstain too long and to return to each other so that you do not fall into temptation! Have you ever considered this passage?
Also in St. Pauls letter he tells a husband and a wife not to abstain too long and to return to each other so that you do not fall into temptation! Have you ever considered this passage?
I
Island_Oak
Guest
WOW…what prompted this unprovoked attack!!! Get a grip and consider offering an apology to the OP. He is clearly struggling with a very challenging issue and certainly did nothing to merit this tongue lashing from you.
B
BEattitude
Guest
no i did not mean to sound that way at all! no tongue lashing here! I was just trying to make the point that he does not want any advice that he asked for! I think that all of the options have been mentioned! He has rejected all of them! His wife is uncooperative with his struggles and does not think that her own life is worth saving and neither is her marriage! Why would a woman with a good marriage ask her husband to make these choices and give ultimatums like this!? Do what I say or I will anull our marriage because I am so Catholic? This does not sound like linear thought to me! Just trying to point out the obvious hypocrisy!
M
manualman
Guest
To the OP, I’m sorry if I made you feel beat up. Please do look into a doctor proficient in the Creighton method. They should be able to help figure out her cycle in time! It really is a major step up in sophistication from a lay-taught Sympto Thermal course.
BrownR,
OOPS! You’ve really stepped in it. You can’t get away with applying the definition of Rythym to NFP and expect us not to notice. Others have already noted that Creighton and Sympto-Thermal methods do not remotely rely on a 28 day cycle. Neither does the Billing Method, which we use. Welcome to the 1980’
BrownR,
OOPS! You’ve really stepped in it. You can’t get away with applying the definition of Rythym to NFP and expect us not to notice. Others have already noted that Creighton and Sympto-Thermal methods do not remotely rely on a 28 day cycle. Neither does the Billing Method, which we use. Welcome to the 1980’
J
Julianna
Guest
( i`ll accept the blasting … But You KNOW i do Have a POINT !)
( i`ll await the Blasts … i know they are comming )
You certainly won’t get any blasts from me. If her uterus is as thin as saran wrap, and those with DEGREES in MEDICINE have PROVEN it to you. The answer is a no brainer.
I had 2 C sections. My kids are 21 mths apart. Both were big babies and I was gestational diabetic with both. I cannot take bc because they played with my mind, so that was out. The doctor advised me that cutting me over and over again would damage my uterus and the fact that I had big babies and was pre diabetic wasn’t a good thing. It took my husband and I 5 years to decide what we were going to do. During this time we did not use NFP (it kills spontanaity big time)…we were just lucky. In the fall of '90 my DH had a vasectomy. We did not consult with the church, as they were not PAYING for it, providing us insurance, or helping us with child care, medical bills or paying any other of our living expenses. It was in and out in 20 minutes and a 25 dollar co pay. In the spring of '91, it was discovered that I had a fibroid tumor the size of a mini basketball. My doctor said since the fibroid was perfectly semetrical, no vines or clinging to other organs that he could scrap it out, but could not guarantee that it would not grow back again, and removing the uterus was a sure thing. Since we spoke about not having more children after my second child, my DH and I decided upon a partial hysterectomy. I have never looked back. No more bleeding heavily, in bed, cramping, no more worrrying if something is “growing” and attaching itself to my other organs. It’s gone. I am as feminine as the day it was taken out…that is a myth. I am still a woman.
These are things that a husband and wife need to discuss. All the hell and damnation from the peanut gallery will not work towards saving the woman you love and the little ones who NEED a MOMMY ALIVE.
If she insists on not having a hysterectomy, the choice not to have one will eventually be taken away from her. If her uterus breaks during a pregnancy, not only will the baby die, the doctors will remove her uterus to save her life. And now, there is an “innocent” who has to die, for your wife to make a point…how is that working toward life? You and your wife have some decisions to make. Consult your parish priest by all means, you never know under what circumstances he may dispense advice.
I would ask:
- My wife has decide that she doesn
t wish to have her uterus removed, or what Makes her, FEMALE so to speak. and as much as id like to get Snipped ( and could Probably do it secretly ( it wouldn`t be appropriate to do it secretly ) ) as well it would Result in the loss of My family as she would Leave with the kids and seek an annulment.
t respond "I WORK" if it was my wife posting >>>>"SHE STAYS HOME, Daycare is Expensive" and the Wifes place is Home with the children. anyone who disagrees is a feminist. well now that thats off my chest........ THIS to me is not Just her Decision...........its Our Decision.......becausse it has to do with our Married Life ,and our Union for the Purpose of Sharing Each other together in gods Union Of marriage , and for the Purpose of being open to life ( which in this day and age 4 kids is being more than Open ) and if it isnt then the Church can start cutting me a cheque for Sustaining the catholic faith , and teaching my Kids the faith , and baptizing them in the faith and paying for the NANNY, cause its me Busting my butt to take care of her and the children… not the church which by having children i am Sustaing the Congregation and the Future of the church and its teachings. and if her life isn`t considered in that then SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG.( i`ll await the Blasts … i know they are comming )
You certainly won’t get any blasts from me. If her uterus is as thin as saran wrap, and those with DEGREES in MEDICINE have PROVEN it to you. The answer is a no brainer.
I had 2 C sections. My kids are 21 mths apart. Both were big babies and I was gestational diabetic with both. I cannot take bc because they played with my mind, so that was out. The doctor advised me that cutting me over and over again would damage my uterus and the fact that I had big babies and was pre diabetic wasn’t a good thing. It took my husband and I 5 years to decide what we were going to do. During this time we did not use NFP (it kills spontanaity big time)…we were just lucky. In the fall of '90 my DH had a vasectomy. We did not consult with the church, as they were not PAYING for it, providing us insurance, or helping us with child care, medical bills or paying any other of our living expenses. It was in and out in 20 minutes and a 25 dollar co pay. In the spring of '91, it was discovered that I had a fibroid tumor the size of a mini basketball. My doctor said since the fibroid was perfectly semetrical, no vines or clinging to other organs that he could scrap it out, but could not guarantee that it would not grow back again, and removing the uterus was a sure thing. Since we spoke about not having more children after my second child, my DH and I decided upon a partial hysterectomy. I have never looked back. No more bleeding heavily, in bed, cramping, no more worrrying if something is “growing” and attaching itself to my other organs. It’s gone. I am as feminine as the day it was taken out…that is a myth. I am still a woman.
These are things that a husband and wife need to discuss. All the hell and damnation from the peanut gallery will not work towards saving the woman you love and the little ones who NEED a MOMMY ALIVE.
If she insists on not having a hysterectomy, the choice not to have one will eventually be taken away from her. If her uterus breaks during a pregnancy, not only will the baby die, the doctors will remove her uterus to save her life. And now, there is an “innocent” who has to die, for your wife to make a point…how is that working toward life? You and your wife have some decisions to make. Consult your parish priest by all means, you never know under what circumstances he may dispense advice.
I would ask:
- A funeral for a woman with 4 little ones?
or
A woman who is alive and can raise the little ones?
T
Teakafrog
Guest
NFP, when used properly, is NOT the rhythm method!! It has NOTHING to do with “regular” cycles! You chart each individual cycle and decide whether you should have relations based on that particular cycle. You need some serious education in a reliable method of NFP. Please go see a trained Creighton method practitioner, you need some help understanding this.
K
kamz
Guest
You and your wife need help and marital relations should be the last thing on either of your minds. I understand your frustration and I understand your wives and the fact that she would threaten to leave and take the kids is totally sick and is really an untruth, fathers have just as much rights as mothers so to me that is a scare tactic.
If this marriage is to even make it you need Serious help and even thinking about more pregnancies at this point is putting the cart way, way before the horse, first of all, fix your marriage. How can she discuss more babies but threaten to leave you and take your kids in the same breath?
I say, get help and no relations until your marriage is much, much better. There is way more to this or your wife would not threaten to take your kids, using kids to hurt eachother is wrong in any marriage, children need a mom and a dad.
If this marriage is to even make it you need Serious help and even thinking about more pregnancies at this point is putting the cart way, way before the horse, first of all, fix your marriage. How can she discuss more babies but threaten to leave you and take your kids in the same breath?
I say, get help and no relations until your marriage is much, much better. There is way more to this or your wife would not threaten to take your kids, using kids to hurt eachother is wrong in any marriage, children need a mom and a dad.
M
martino
Guest
I have just read through all the posts and have to say that I think BEattitude is actually making pretty good sense! Something is not right about this situation.
L
LittleDeb
Guest
Please remember that STM is still just as reliable. Temps can be interpreted properly and are a very reliable sign.
Many people think that Sympto-Thermal is being referenced the minute someone mentions temps. As I pointed out earlier, many non-NFP docs (and books) teach a weird method based on a mix of rhythm, temps, and cervical fluid. These docs tell people to START CHARTING at times during their cycles based on the the 1930’s calendar rhythm method.
To the OP: STM and Creighton have you chart every day. (I presume Bilings-Ovulation does too, but I have not personally studied it.) Non-NFP fertility docs have people chart temps and cervical fluid based on a day 14 average ovulation. Many people have misinterpreted this to be NFP. Real NFP (STM, Creighton, Billings) users know these are a much more loosely based observation that has the failure rate of rhythm.
As Teakafrog and others have noted, a 35-day cycle is nothing unusual in STM, Creighton, and Billings methods. I often refer to myself as very “regular” even when my cycles range from 25-40 days. By “regular” I usually mean that I am ovulating on a very consistent basis. 30 days is an average not regularity.
It would be interesting to have an NFP doctor interpret your wife’s charts. Good luck and God bless you in your meeting with the priest/former doctor. I hope he can refer you to someone who can help you properly interpret.
- Status