We are cohabitating can we still take communion

[BobP123]

My suggestion is to bring in another border, a sort of chaparone. He or she could split the rent with you. Would also show your sincerity before receiving communion.

 

[KathleenElsie]

thank you so much! you sound like you really know what you are talking about and i thank you for your advice. i am able to recieve communion. if we were living in any other state than just “brother and sister” i feel that i could not commune in good conscience. basically this is what was told to me by the teachers in my RCIA class. there are certain sins that we must first go to confession for in order to be released of our sins. because that which is loosed on earth shall also be loosed in heaven. after confession and repentence we may commune.

Originally Posted by Roman20
“Jesus said… Do this in remembrance of me”

this person here needs to go look in the bible and read 1 cor: 11:27. this verse and the ones that follow are the reason for this post in the first place and I don’t want to recieve communion if i am unworthy i don’t want to have to answar for the body and blood of Christ.

my teachers in RCIA say i worry too much as do others. I think we should all worry a little more and be more mindfull of what the Lord wants from us. after all if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t even be here or have the opportunity for eternal life!

Sounds like you both want to do the right thing. Is it possible for you or him to stay with his mother till everything is figured out? Living under the same roof might not lead to sexual encounters. But, it sure could lead to those sexual thoughts. So no don’t live on the streets or in a car, look for a room with some person that might need you also.

 

[mgrfin]

You misunderstand me. I was not saying that was no answer to the overall inquiry. My point was noting that (very unusually) no one had made the distinction between the “take” language in the title question and the proper terminolgy of receiving.

Sorry, I didn’t know that was your question.

Is there a distinction between ‘take’ and ‘receive’?

peace

 

[jmcrae]

so i guess the only way to make things right with GOD is for me to go live on the streets or live in my car and stay away from him until the annulment from his ex-wife is final, (she left him for another man that she had an adulterous affair with) so we know that his marriage will be annuled.

No, you don’t. The whole point of having a trial (a Tribunal is a special kind of court room trial) is to find out whether he is married to her, or not. If the end result were already known, they wouldn’t bother with the trial. It’s not just a formality. They are trying to find out, one way or the other. The end result is not yet known, until the Judge comes and tells you what the result is.

I am trying to do the right thing here. but when fema took my trailer i had and still have no place else to live but in the streets.

What would you be doing if you didn’t have a boy friend? (What did other people do, who didn’t have boyfriends?)

 

[denise_wallace]

No, you don’t. The whole point of having a trial (a Tribunal is a special kind of court room trial) is to find out whether he is married to her, or not. If the end result were already known, they wouldn’t bother with the trial. It’s not just a formality. They are trying to find out, one way or the other. The end result is not yet known, until the Judge comes and tells you what the result is.

What would you be doing if you didn’t have a boy friend? (What did other people do, who didn’t have boyfriends?)

i would be on the streets, you see i don’t have a fema # because i ws renting a room in a house from another family. that residence has fa fema #. that other family never came back here the stayed out of state. other people that got their trailers taken have fema #. and were able to have fema help them by either going back to hotels or relocating. my trailer was not in my name i was living in someone elses trailer. so you see i am getting no fema assistance at all. you should come down here for a visit and volenteer. and see what it is like here. people say even after 2 years it is still like a war zone. there are people living under the highways and in the parks. we have a lot of homeless people. come see for your self.
people are living in there homes unfinished because they don’t have the money to complete them. there is so much stuff going on down here it would take too many pages to tell and that is not what this is all about any way.
he will get his annulment i am confident of that. i have faith in GOD that it will be granted. He wants us to be happy and He knows how much we have struggled and how much my boyfriend has suffered. everyone in RCIA and our Priest says that there should be no problem with the annulment. they even encourage us to be togather. the parish has seen how much pain Gio has gone through and they are happy we are togather. they told him to be my sponser when i was in RCIA. which by the way i have been baptized but i am still going to class because i want to learn even more. and help in what ever way i can.

 

[KCT]

(she left him for another man that she had an adulterous affair with) so we know that his marriage will be annuled.

Is that always cause for annulment? Just curious. —KCT

 

[denise_wallace]

Is that always cause for annulment? Just curious. —KCT

no it isn’t. I was taught that if your spouse cheats on you that you should forgive them and then stay with then and try to work things out. the first and second time that happened he did take her back and tried to make things work. there are other things that make it so that he will get an annulment. it has to be things from the time of the marriage. like one of the parties had never intended to be faithful or they knew at the time of the marriage that they were not going to uphold the marriage contract. there are a lot more reasons also. the other one that we have is that she told him that they were trying to have a baby while she was secretly on “the pill” this is a big violation. refusal to give your spouce children when you are capable is a sin and grounds for an annulment. i know someone that got an annulment because just that and no other reason. her annulment only took less than a year. adaultry alone is not grounds for an annulment.

 

[mercygate]

my teachers in RCIA say i worry too much as do others. I think we should all worry a little more and be more mindfull of what the Lord wants from us. after all if it wasn’t for him we wouldn’t even be here or have the opportunity for eternal life!

Darlin’, God LOVE ya! I think your RCIA teachers are just trying to ease your mind because they KNOW you and they see that you are concerned about “doing the right thing.” Believe me, if more people “worried a little too much” there would be much less scandal and much more grace among our fellowship.

May the Lord guide you to a good home, a good marriage, and a fruitful life.

 

[mangy_dog]

She is looking for suggestions to do the right thing. So now that you have called her an adulteress, not knowing the exact details of the situation, what is your suggestion for her?

~Liza

I believe Cristiano used the word “if”. Lets not get wrapped around the axle. She is a new catholic and needs accurate info, yes. She is also recieving the benefit of our experience as it pertains to different angles of sin and temptation. The advice is good and the “if” situation is timely. They may already be living as brother and sister but “if” this relation is headed towards a fullness in the sacrament of matrimony, then Lucifer is going to be on his toes to prevent it. I say give them all the “tools and weapons” to fight off traps and snares of the devil during this delicate transition. And, yes talk to a priest and give him all the details.

Pax Domini sit semper vobiscum

 

[guanophore]

so i guess the only way to make things right with GOD is for me to go live on the streets or live in my car and stay away from him

If you are unable to share the house with him and live as brother and sister, then I suppose a more drastic solution would have to be sought. Is it more important to have sex than it is to take communion? What if, once you did get married, you chose to abstain from relations for a time. Are you saying that the two of you do not have enough self control to do this? I don’t expect an answer to that, since it is a private matter, just throwing it out there.

until the annulment from his ex-wife is final, (she left him for another man that she had an adulterous affair with) so we know that his marriage will be annuled.

You know nothing of the kind! Committing a sin after marriage is not grounds for annulment. Annulment is saying that they were not married in the first place. It is based on the state of mind and heart at the time vows were taken. It is not based on wrongdoing afterward.

I am trying to do the right thing here. but when fema took my trailer i had and still have no place else to live but in the streets.

Seek first the Kingdom, and everything else will be added to you. God is calling you to a higher and more pure way of living, to get your mind, heart, and soul out of the gutter as well as your body. I will not presume to say that God is calling you to be homeless,but this is a time for you to seek His will fervently, spending time every day in front of the blessed sacrament. How do you know He has not called you to live in a convent!?

Advice was given you to speak to the priest, and it is good advice.

 

[guanophore]

Is that always cause for annulment? Just curious. —KCT

No. The only way it might be considered such is if the woman had the affair before the marriage, and planned secretly at the time of vows to continue it.

For the OP, Blessings for your sincere desire to follow the Way of the Lord.

 

[Seatuck]

Denise, Welcome Home to the Church ( belatedly),

Your questions are of the kind that should be addressed in close advisement with a spiritual director. The general rule is that we cannot cohabitate with anyone of the opposite sex who is not a blood relative or spouse. There are several sins attached to living arrangements that don’t meet that those requirements.Sin of temptation, sin of scandal etc. You do have some serious considerations that can be looked into with your spiritual advisor. Start with your parish priest and make clear the living situation etc. It seems that from your post that you have at least has some discussion on this topic with a priest but perhaps a revisit is in order. We can never make an assumption about a decree of nullity. Catholics who are not free to marry should not even be dating or discussion marriage with anyone.

I am praying for you . I hope this is resolved in the way you expect.Have a plan in place for if it is not.

 

[whatevergirl]

In the example I provided to you denise, with my friend who was living with her bf, and was permitted to take communion providing they lived as brother and sister…is a bit different than your situation, because of your bf’s marital state. My friend was directed by their priest…that they could receive communion, providing they lived as brother and sister. You could very well be living as brother and sister…but the twist to your situation, is that your bf is probably not ‘free to live with another, because he is married.’ (I didn’t say 'technically, for those of you reading this… ) So…discuss this with a priest…but as a new Catholic…please know that following the Catholic truths are not easy. Jesus never told us it would be easy. If you need to move out…God will provide. Have you looked into any assistance from out of state groups for your situation? There were many people affected by Katrina out of our New Orleans offices, who were relocated to live elsewhere, through assistance from Red Cross, and other charitable organizations. Your only ‘hope’ isn’t this situation…it seems that way, now…but it isn’t. I will keep praying for you!

 

[Vintagecoils]

As far as annulment goes many people do not understand what it is exactly. Declaring a marriage null means there never was a valid marriage to begin with. In other words something was lacking at the time the marriage vows were said. So your boyfriend’s wife’s adulterous affair does not automatically mean the marriage will be annulled because that happened after the marriage vows. Now it could point to other factors that were lacking at the time of the marriage such as never having the intention to remain faithful to her husband or her lack of understanding the life long and permanent commitment she was making.

My prayers are with you. God Bless.

  You should really pay attention to this.  If the marriage is declared invalid you have no clue as to his part in making it invalid.  Apparently he too has now  committed adultery.  I believe if you did not know him you would be excersing much more emphasis in finding accomadation and should do that.

You will apparently need the marriage classes and should really focus on “seeking first the kingdom” before jumping into a " rebound marriage. You may think you know him but you yourself are so knew to the faith and his dedication may be shakey also. The idea its all the wifes fault is a dangerous approach. It took two to create that situation.

Seek your Priest and be determined to follow his advice.  If BF contridicts then you need to make note of that.  Any man not concerned with your mortal soul should be steered clear of.  I say the fact that he did not protect you by not bringing you into this relationship to begin with sounds like you are starting into a very

unequally yoked position no matter how much he claims to be Catholic. Has he saught counseling for his own soul and ability to recieve communion?
Remember seek Christ first!!

 

[CuriousInIL]

Sorry, I didn’t know that was your question.

Is there a distinction between ‘take’ and ‘receive’?

peace

Yes. See this AAA answer:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=189195&highlight=take+receive

Hi,

First of all we don’t “take” Communion. We “receive” it. This is not nit-picking. The Eucharist is a gift and one that no one of himself is entitled to—ever. It is only by the Lord’s initiative and generosity that anyone may receive it. Our Lord gave the responsibility for the reverent administration of this holiest of sacraments to His Apostles and to their successors. The Church is careful to remind us that to receive this sacrament in the state of mortal sin is itself a mortal sin. It is first necessary to by purified of such sin through the sacrament of Penance or Confession as it is more commonly called. St. Paul in Corinthians 11: 26-30 warns against receiving the Eucharist unworthily.

It is first necessary to fully understand the Eucharist as that Catholic Church understands it. Also, the Eucharist is a sign of our complete unity in Christ. You may “feel” one with the Catholic Church, but you will not be completely one with it until you have made the public commitment to the Church to its satisfaction. You are in our prayers. The humble waiting and longing will make your entrance into the Church all the sweeter because it will of itself have been an act of love for Him.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

 

[Holly3278]

I would strongly suggest that you talk to your priest about this. He can guide you in the right direction.

 

[denise_wallace]

Yes. See this AAA answer:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=189195&highlight=take+receive

all of you that keep picking my words apart and get out the dictionary or look at this dictionary sight from yahoo.
receive means to take or aquire something given. and it says to take in hold or contain. i don’t know about you all but when i go up there during communion i am given the body of Christ i hold it in my hand then i take it. then i make the sign of the cross. one of the meanings of the word take is to put something in the body and injest it. that is what i do at communion.
education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/receive;_ylt=AgVwMyBs4HfgAWZYxIroVjesgMMF
here is the web site for you to go to and look up the 2 words. each word uses the other to describe the other. but the word take is the only one of the two that says anything about putting something in your mouth and eating it.

 

[denise_wallace]

Yes. See this AAA answer:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=189195&highlight=take+receive

and as for the last part of your quote i am done with RCIA I am part of the church and i have been told i can go to communion. By the Preist! We are suppose to love everyone so there is nothing wrong with who i love as long as i act appropriately. At this time i am worthy of the eucharist. I have no plans or thaughts about changing my worthyness.

 

[denise_wallace]

my mind is not in the gutter or focused on bodily pleasures. why is everyone so worried about the sex thing i am not. i said “cohabitating” not having sex. my body doesn’t crave those things and hasn’t for a long time. i have had a lot of people say to me this same kind of thing. maybe that is what there mind is on but not mine. maybe i am unhealthy or maybe i have just overcome those feelings, but i don’t have them. i can give a hug or a kiss and not think about sex or wanting it. i have told many people in my life i could do without sex for the rest of my life i just like to cuddle. and when i cuddle i don’t even want what other people would presume comes after.
all yall that think like that need to get your minds out of the gutter.
guanophore; this was not directed purely at you i have read some other stuff in this thread that inspired this writing that is why i said (all yall, southern for everyone)

 

[vocatio]

Denise,
Trust me on this PLEASE…Do NOT listen to Roman on this issue. Roman is telling something that could be a grave sin whether you are culpable or not. You only have one choice…YOU ARE REQUIRED TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PASTOR. I assume that you are sincere and you are truly trying to be a good Catholic Christian. If you can talk to the Bishop…good luck trying. He’s a little busy Pastoring the Diocese. But you never know. But your best bet is to seek out your Pastor’s advice. It’s time to come clean with your priestly friend. And get help moving out…I’d be surprised if he allowed it.

I’ve heard this very question before with different twists and the recommendation to stay out of grave sin was to move out immediately. In spite of your obvious strong feelings for this man…if he really loves you he will NOT allow you to live in sin or continue in this situation which is scandalous just for appearing to be sinful to everyone around you, in spite of our politically correct world… My Sergeant Major used to say, “There aint’ no right way to do wrong.” I’d say this applies.

It doesn’t matter whether or not his wife cheated on him or not. Truthfully, just having a relationship like this approaches sin if it’s not outright sinful. It is easy to fall for someone other than your spouse…but we have to make the right choice and it’s not switching. But that is why you need to talk to the priest. This is NOT a good place for advice unless you ask Fr. Vincent Serpa and get an answer from him… But he will recommend you talk to your Pastor. Send him an email and give him your phone number. He called me about my situation and explained things really well. In spite of his answer, which I consider to be correct, my pastor chose a different answer and I had to submit no matter what. It’s called obedience.

I’m a revert and just went through RCIA with my wife. I have been researching topics like this because I left the Catholic Church because of the kind of dumb advice given to you by Roman. There are a bunch of wacky Catholics that do not know their faith well enough to be giving advice. About 90% of Catholics do not know the Catholic Church teaches and we have screwed it all up. Ironically, Protestants seem to get it more when they convert and remain more obedient than those raised in it, so it seems. That is why I am studying so hard now…so that I do not fall prey to this kind of nonsense again.

If it helps, I went to the seminary to become a priest. I left because of screwed up answers and things that happened to me. One messed up priest asked me what’s wrong with homosexuallity? It was this and worse situations that are scandalous that caused me to convert to a “fundi” church. My journey to trying to become a Protestant Minister is what brought me home through studying the *Ancient Church Fathers *and the didache. Many people told you correctly so far.

Again…Ask your Pastor and welcome home. Thankfully or not most of us are knuckleheads…and your possible future hubby may likely get an annulment…but for your own sake separate now, even if the Pastor allows it. I’ve seen relationships like this go sour fast.

I’m a party pooper, I know. Sorry if I come across rude or harsh…but it is for your own good…and not for us idiots responding to your question…God loves you very much and wants what’s best for you…that’s why we have the Church…to guide us. Seek councel from your Pastor. If you haven’t discussed this in detail with him…you need to come clean. Your conscience is bothering you. Trust the Holy Spirit and tell your Pastor about it. But discuss it with him and not us…because he will be the one who must make the decission, not us or even you.

I will pray for you tonight as I always for those struggling with their faith. I will pray for your male friend and pray for God’s will be done, not ours.

God bless you.

Just another knucklehead.