We are cohabitating can we still take communion

[denise_wallace]

I feel for you. That said, no priest should be encouraging dating until an annullment is a done deal. .

is it wrong for a man to have a friend that is a girl when he is married?
is it wrong for a women to have a friend that is a man when she is married?
if so there are a lot of people in my parish that are sinning in that way!
there are 2 couples in perticular that the women has gone out to lunch with my friend that is a boy. i suppose you think that is wrong.
and one of there husbands came and fixed my flat tire when i was stranded on the road side. and after we went out to dinner, just the 2 of us. and i suppose that was wrong because he is a married man.
why is that so many people can only assume the worst when people of the opposite sex get togather?
people that i know and people in my parish do not shoo-shoo about stuff like this.
there is another young man at my church that is married and once in while we get togather (just the two of us) and have a drink or 2. No one here has a problem with this. so why do you have a problem with me going out to dinner or a movie with my friend that happens to be a boy? i was told that as long as there is no sex involved i can be friends with whomever i want and it is not a sin.
who are you to judge me or my Priest?

 

[vocatio]

Well. Priests are human. Noone is questioning your priests actions…yet. But if your priest knows the situation…its on his head. Every Catholic is supposed to avoid scandal…look it up. Stop justifying your actions. I question the authentic orthodoxy of your pastor if he is allowing this openly. But then I knew lots of bad priests in Louisiana too. In fact, I know an ordained Catholic Deacon that was having an affair at the same time he was going through diaconate formation. Thankfully he’s not allowed to present himself as a deacon anymore. Just as the priest who tried to abuse me are no longer allowed to present themselves as a priest. All of this was in Louisiana. We are all human and make lots of bad decisions.

You are just justifying illicit activity by continuing to present yourselfs as a couple. That can not be until the annulment takes place. And there are no guarantees. In fact, the wife could have it reversed if she decides to appeal. I bet you didn’t know that either. It happened to one of the Kinnedy’s.

 

[Cristiano]

We are worthy under his mercy and by his Blood.

Honestly, some people are such CRANKS!

No we are not worthy under His mercy and by His blood. We are welcomed but we are not worthy. When we say that we are worthy we are imposing a moral obligation on God toward us. That is a sin of pride. BTW I am not implying that you are sinful, just that you should use a different terminology.

You are quite correct about some of us being cranks.

 

[bear06]

Just to be clear, I am very much questioning this priests advice. The priest may or may not be culpable for his advice but it is wrong.

]is it wrong for a man to have a friend that is a girl when he is married?

If it’s temptation to him, then it would be wrong. You’re not a simple friend and you have said that, right? If you were just a simple friend, you wouldn’t have to worry about an annullment. You, as youve said, are planning on marrying him. At this point, he is still considered married by the Church. You have no guarantee that this is going to change, right?

is it wrong for a women to have a friend that is a man when she is married?

if so there are a lot of people in my parish that are sinning in that way!

If they’re in your situation then that could very well be true.

there are 2 couples in perticular that the women has gone out to lunch with my friend that is a boy. i suppose you think that is wrong.

Frist of all, miy comments were addressed at the priest that is encouraging your situation. The sad fact is that he should never encourage someone to date someone or get involved with someone who is still married in the eyes of the Church. #1 the marriage might not be annulled. #2 this process could take years and this, by itself, can be a near occasion of sin when the couple plans on being headed to the altar.

and one of there husbands came and fixed my flat tire when i was stranded on the road side. and after we went out to dinner, just the 2 of us. and i suppose that was wrong because he is a married man.

Now you’re just being silly. Were you planning on marrying this man?

why is that so many people can only assume the worst when people of the opposite sex get togather?

Re-read your original post.

people that i know and people in my parish do not shoo-shoo about stuff like this

.

Well, this might be a reflection of the poor advice you have received from your priest.
t

here is another young man at my church that is married and once in while we get togather (just the two of us) and have a drink or 2. No one here has a problem with this. so why do you have a problem with me going out to dinner or a movie with my friend that happens to be a boy?

You’re comparin apples to oranges.

i was told that as long as there is no sex involved i can be friends with whomever i want and it is not a sin.
who are you to judge me or my Priest?

Again, you came here explaining that this was not a simple friendship. You are perceiving this as an attack on you. The priest is telling you the wrong thing. You have a relationship based on the probability that this man will have an annullment. No priest should ever encourage a relationship with someone who is still married in the eyes of the Church. When and if he is annulled it would be fine. This priest has usurped jurisdiction where he has none. From all appearances, he’s not on the marriage tribunal. Did someone from the marriage tribunal tell you that he had a guaranteed annullment?

I understand your wish to remain chaste until you are married. I understand you home being wiped out. I understand that you are not sleeping with your boyfriend. I understand that you have been told, apparently, that he has a guaranteed annullment. That said, you have asked for an opinion on the situation. Mine is as follows. You can take it or leave it but I’d appreciate you not saying I’m a meanie for giving it.

The reality is that you have entered into a relationship with a man who is still married in the eyes of the Church until otherwise determined. The priest should have never encouraged this until an annullment has come through. It’s a very bad idea to cohabitate with a person you are romantically involved with although, however, this in itself, might not constitute sin. It would be necessary to cease a romantic relationship with this man (i.e. you shouldn’t be talking marriage) until his annullment comes through. It would also be optimum not to live with a member of the opposite sex especially one that you have a romantic relationship with. This is a near occasion of sin. It would be best to try and find some other living arrangements. I’d think with the amount of people who have had their lives turned upside down that there might be someone else in your church to help you out.

 

[bear06]

BTW, have you posted this to the AAA forum. Maybe there answers would help you.

 

[vocatio]

St. Paul in Corinthians 11: 26-30 warns against receiving the Eucharist unworthily.

this was written to me in the thread here and that was what i was refereing to. if we are worthy then fine we have nothing to worry about if not then we have to answar to the body and blood of
Christ. so i guess maybe Jesus thaught some of us are worthy. and after that it is up to him and me if you or i was worthy at the time. i Suppose the Virgin Mary was worthy. and i am sure that others were worthy and are worthy that is only for Him to judge! so i guess you didn’t burst my bubble!

May I recommend going through RCIA all over again. But this time in a different parish that actually follows the teachings of the Church…ie. faithful to the Majestirium. You seem very confused.

Also, what parish are you in? Or better what is your priest’s name? That may be too close to home. But I think you have a problem with understanding him or you haven’t told him the entire story. My wife thinks it’s interesting that you don’t trust what your pastor told you because you’re on this thread posting more questions inspite of what he told you. I made my story perfectly clear and our situation was significantly different from yours. He’s married!..How wrong can you get?! Judging by your litany of situations you are either young or foolish. My wife would crack a 2x4 over my head if I did pretty much all of the above. Changing a tire…okay. But eating dinner afterwards is probably too much. Having drinks with a married absolutely would end up in the dog house. Ask the married women in your parish if you can have a drink with their husband. Your concupisence is showing.

…I know you’re in the New Orleans Diocese. Are you actually in New Oleans?

 

[Cristiano]

May I recommend going through RCIA all over again. But this time in a different parish that actually follows the teachings of the Church…ie. faithful to the Majestirium. You seem very confused.

Also, what parish are you in? I know you’re in the New Orleans Diocese. Are you actually in New Oleans?

Per forum rules we are not allowed to discuss the specifics of parishes.

 

[vocatio]

Sorry about that…I changed it as you see…I do not really want to know which parish…it’s my way of saying maybe you should change parishes. I was going to recommend some good priests to discuss this with but I have no interest in knowing which parish she is really in. I know New Orleans is a mess. I talk to people about it all the time. We have people from there and I have family down there. But there is no excuse for living in sin or the near occasion of sin. Any Catholic priest knows that. There very well could be some situation where a single boyfriend living in separate quarters under the same roof would be allow, strongly not recommended, but with no choice under situations like the state of New Orleans. But this is a man who is currently married…and that is just way over the top to allow. We have put many people up over the years. She is welcome to apply for relocation. Once you come this way you’ll never go back there because the wages for same work are so much higher and the living expenses are even lower. We’re in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

 

[rayne89]

Per forum rules we are not allowed to discuss the specifics of parishes.

Or for specific personal information.

Really I think everyone needs to take a step back. Couples who marry outside the church after a civil divorce and then want to return to the church can live as brother and sister while they are waiting on an annulment.

They have separate bedrooms and are not engaging in any sexual activity. While the situation is far from ideal I really don’t think it warrants the shock and outrage that some posters seem to think it does. Some of you guys are really beating up on this woman. She asked your opinion and you gave it, enough already.

 

[vocatio]

But this issues is
“we are cohabitating can we still take communion”

REREAD the Title.

Those couples which we have in our Parish are NOT allowed to recieve communion and can not receive the Sacraments. We have friends from RCIA this past year that the male can not be baptized because he is still married in the eyes of the Church and the annulment process is continuing. The woman is Catholic and She is also NOT receiving communion. The details of someone living chastly is diffferent. This is not something to be looked lightly upon.

I admit…I asked an imporoper question…but I really have not intension of discovering where this person is at. I’m making a round about way of suggesting she receive betteradvice before she gets over her head…Married to a Married man with an undisolvable marriage and then create more scandal for everyone else around.

That’s like sticking you head on a railroad track and hoping the train engineer sees you in time to stop.

 

[Cristiano]

Some of you guys are really beating up on this woman. She asked your opinion and you gave it, enough already.

It is uncharitable to beat someone up. However, the way this thread is going it looks like more looking for a justification than opinions and or information

If she is looking for empathy because she is in a difficult position she has all my understanding. She went through a lot of stressful situations that would strongly affect everybody in this forum. If she wants to spill her feelings and asks us to hear her that is fine and reasonable. She is in a pickle and it is not fun being there.

However, this does not allow us to approve what appears to be a situation in disagreement with the teachings of the Church.

 

[vocatio]

AMEN!

But I prefer “in a cucumber” rather than a pickle

 

[bear06]

Couples who marry outside the church after a civil divorce and then want to return to the church can live as brother and sister while they are waiting on an annulment.

This is not their situation. He is married in the eyes of the Church until the Church says otherwise. Unfortunately, this priest is not in a position to make a call like that.

 

[rayne89]

This is not their situation. He is married in the eyes of the Church until the Church says otherwise. Unfortunately, this priest is not in a position to make a call like that.

So is a man or woman that marries, divorces and remarries outside the church and yet they are allowed to live as brother and sister while they await an annullment. In both cases a person is still married to someone else in the eyes of the church.

 

[bear06]

So is a man or woman that marries, divorces and remarries outside the church and yet they are allowed to live as brother and sister while they await an annullment. In both cases a person is still married to someone else in the eyes of the church.

What does this have to do with anything!!! This is off topic and has nothing to do with the OP’s situation.

 

[jmcrae]

is it wrong for a man to have a friend that is a girl when he is married?

That he lives with, and dates? Yes. If you were living separately, and not dating, it would be a different issue altogether.

Is it wrong for a women to have a friend that is a man when she is married?

That she lives with, and dates? Yes. If you were living separately, and not dating, it would be a different issue altogether.

if so there are a lot of people in my parish that are sinning in that way!

That’s probably true. Morality is not decided by a majority vote, and even if it were, there were millions of people who lived before us in the 2,000 years since Christ was here who managed to live chastely and without causing a scandal by living together unmarried.

 

[jmcrae]

So is a man or woman that marries, divorces and remarries outside the church and yet they are allowed to live as brother and sister while they await an annullment. In both cases a person is still married to someone else in the eyes of the church.

This is permitted if they are raising children together, and it would cause hardship to the children if they were to separate. But if there are no children, then there is no one who could be hurt if they separate until such time as (or even whether!) they can get married.

They still have to remain celibate, in either case.

 

[vocatio]

Are there children involved? That would be tremendously bad. I survived this in my youth as one of three children. It brought scandal to my family and adversly affected my vocation. Unfortunately it really marginalized us within our own family too.

 

[denise_wallace]

Sorry about that…I changed it as you see…I do not really want to know which parish…it’s my way of saying maybe you should change parishes. I was going to recommend some good priests to discuss this with but I have no interest in knowing which parish she is really in. I know New Orleans is a mess. I talk to people about it all the time. We have people from there and I have family down there. But there is no excuse for living in sin or the near occasion of sin. Any Catholic priest knows that. There very well could be some situation where a single boyfriend living in separate quarters under the same roof would be allow, strongly not recommended, but with no choice under situations like the state of New Orleans. But this is a man who is currently married…and that is just way over the top to allow. We have put many people up over the years. She is welcome to apply for relocation. Once you come this way you’ll never go back there because the wages for same work are so much higher and the living expenses are even lower. We’re in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

I did relocate after the storm. i am not going to say where. i was gone for 6 months and i wanted to come back here. i want to be part of restoring New Orleans. watch it come back. there is no place in the world like here the people are so nice. i know people that are in Texas, Dallas and Houstin they don’t like it there.

 

[vocatio]

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=197786

This is Father Serpa’s response on “Ask a Question”…you size up his response and see just how inappropriate you situation is. Good luck with New Orleans. I know many people form New Orleans and say even more sternly. New Orleans is a great place to be from, but not a great place to live. And after living at St. Ben’s and just taking bi-weekly trips there I do NOT like it myself. But to each his own.

Are you a Planner or Engineer? That’s my expertise along with GIS. I’ve considered going down there to help “rebuild”. But my family situation with our conversion dictates that that is not a good thing to do now.