Well, I Made My Ex-wife Mad At Me

  • Thread starter Thread starter lonegreywolf20
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lonegreywolf20 said:
As I said, I have been with this girl for over 1 year and 7 months. I am not going to break up with her now!

By the time my last child is 18, I will be over 60. I am not waiting that long to start a relationship again.

Also, there will be no more kids other than the ones that we have as I was forced by my parents to get a vasectomy as a condition to live with them after the separation between my ex-wife and I. No vasectomy, no home. I chose a home and the priest I spoke with when I returned to the church absolved me because it wasn’t something I would have chosen unless I was under duress and I was.

So there will be a blended family, not making more kids.
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There is A LOT of “me” here. You’ve completed unraveled your children’s lives with a divorce and you choose not to live closer to them. Now you and your ex-wife have introduced new partners into their lives. And your explanation for doing so is that somehow it seems absurd to focus solely on your children until they become adults and it would be unfair to you to remain single. I don’t say this with malice, truly — but who cares what’s fair to you? Your children deserve to be your only priority. That’s what’s fair to them.
 
The divorce was not my choice. I didn’t want it. However, I had to participate in it because if I didn’t I would have had minimal contact with my children.

I never said that is it absurd to focus only on my children, however, I can have both a new relationship and have my children in that new relationship. There is nothing wrong with that.

As for living closer to them, my job is closer to where I am now. The only job close to where they are is an illegal EMS company that I will not work for, unless I would like to lose my license.

I do things with my kids in mind, you may not see it, but ask anyone who is close to me and they will tell you that I put the welfare and my children’s happiness at the forefront of what I do. People can say that I am wrong for getting into another relationship and that I should focus only on them, but that is an opinion and nothing more.

My relationship with my girlfriend is the only stable relationship that they are seeing as their mother’s isn’t sunshine and rainbows. My girlfriend and I don’t yell at each other. We don’t belittle each other. To be honest this is the best relationship I have ever had and it is God given.

Before I got involved with her, I prayed, I prayed about it until I felt it was right. I talked to my priest and he confirmed my go ahead with the relationship.

So, everyone can stop right now with the I shouldn’t be in a relationship opinions.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
The divorce was not my choice. I didn’t want it. However, I had to participate in it because if I didn’t I would have had minimal contact with my children.

I never said that is it absurd to focus only on my children, however, I can have both a new relationship and have my children in that new relationship. There is nothing wrong with that.

As for living closer to them, my job is closer to where I am now. The only job close to where they are is an illegal EMS company that I will not work for, unless I would like to lose my license.

I do things with my kids in mind, you may not see it, but ask anyone who is close to me and they will tell you that I put the welfare and my children’s happiness at the forefront of what I do. People can say that I am wrong for getting into another relationship and that I should focus only on them, but that is an opinion and nothing more.

My relationship with my girlfriend is the only stable relationship that they are seeing as their mother’s isn’t sunshine and rainbows. My girlfriend and I don’t yell at each other. We don’t belittle each other. To be honest this is the best relationship I have ever had and it is God given.

Before I got involved with her, I prayed, I prayed about it until I felt it was right. I talked to my priest and he confirmed my go ahead with the relationship.

So, everyone can stop right now with the I shouldn’t be in a relationship opinions.
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You may not have chosen to be divorced but you’re choosing to make your children vie for your attention with your girlfriend. I really, really hope you’re not having her live with you, spend the night with you, etc. That’s a disastrous recipe for teaching your children about morality and marriage. Regardless, they don’t need to see you in a stable relationship with a girlfriend. They need to know they’re your ONLY priority.
 
No, she doesn’t stay with me overnight.

As I said, you can drop the you shouldn’t have a relationship opinion now.

It’s falling on deaf ears as you are not over my priest who gave me the confirmation to start dating.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
No, she doesn’t stay with me overnight.

As I said, you can drop the you shouldn’t have a relationship opinion now.

It’s falling on deaf ears as you are not over my priest who gave me the confirmation to start dating.
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Uh, again, it’s a public forum. You can’t really dictate what opinions people share. No one here can make you listen, of course. That’s what you can control.
 
Yes, it’s public, but if someone tells me or asks me not to reply in some manner, I show them the respect that I would want in return and no longer reply.
 
Listen, you posted here and have refused to hear anyone who shared an opinion that didn’t line up with your own. If I were you I’d be more interested in figuring that behavior out and less interested in silencing others.
 
I do listen to opinions of others, however as an adult I get to choose what I will and will not follow. I am not required to follow every piece of opinion that comes my way.

The opinion not to start another relationship is one that I will not follow, especially from random people on the internet. I talked it over with my priest. My priest who knows my situation much better than anyone on the internet confirmed my go ahead. I will listen to his opinion over random people on the internet.

The only reason why I made this thread is because of my ex-wife’s anger over a reasonable request. However, unless you skipped over it and didn’t read it, she realized that it was irrational and is no longer angry. She will meet me half way.
 
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lonegreywolf20 said:
I do listen to opinions of others, however as an adult I get to choose what I will and will not follow. I am not required to follow every piece of opinion that comes my way.
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What percentage of the waking hours you have your kids is your girlfriend around?

If it’s more than 50%, they deserve more of your undivided attention.
 
They are a big priority in my life. Anyone who knows me and is close to me sees that. I don’t expect people on the internet to however.
 
This is off-topic (but related): are you appropriately insured (disability and life insurance) and do you have a good current will? If you got hit by a Coke truck and were seriously disabled or killed, where would that leave your kids?
 
I have been working on those things rather recently actually. I am still in the process of doing all that.
 
Why must I?

My girlfriend makes more than I do actually, much more. She also is not someone that wants extravagant things in life. We do mainly free things with or without the kids. We stay at home alot when she comes over, with the kids watching a movie. If we do go out, we split the bill.

One doesn’t need to make big bucks in order to have a relationship or even two families. Since we’re only dating, this is not a third family. The mother of my other children doesn’t want anything from me and I only pay child support because the state forced her to. If I wasn’t paying child support, she knows all she would have to do is ask, but she is very independent and wants to do things on her own. She also has a boyfriend that lives with her and they combine their incomes and take care of things on their own. When she has asked me for help, I have given it without question.

Please stop assuming things about me and my life! Not everyone has to fit into your mold of what life should look like. That is not at all things work as each situation is different with different circumstances and solutions.
 
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