What best discribes your spiritual direction situation?

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A year after coming home to the Lord and the church I am still waiting I guess. I tried three times to just meet the people I had contacted and each time something would happen to cause the meeting to be canceled. I tried a priest first and unfortunately He was injured in a fall on palm Sunday and wouldn’t be able to meet until he recovered. I then contacted a nun and made the trip to meet her and she didn’t come. I later received a call from her to reschedule because there had been a fire where she lived. A week before the second meeting her sister in another state had heart problems and she wouldn’t be able to meet me due to flying out to be with her. I was finally able to meet with the priest but was so full of excitement I just talked on and on the whole time and didn’t give him a chance to direct anything. At first I was worried like I was bad luck or something was wrong:confused: but I have come to the understanding that it’s in Gods time and when He wants me to have a spiritual director He will let me know. I have just moved and begun confirmation class and the teacher is a spiritual director but she wants me to wait till I make my confirmation before we even talk about it. So I’ll try to be more patient and let it happen in Gods time.
😊 I have to ask though can we ask anyone like can we go to our priest and ask for spiritual direction, I have wanted to but was afraid this wasn’t the way to do it.😊 God Bless
 
I’ve never seen a Parish Priest that would be an “effective” Spiritual Director as the relationship probably wouldn’t support that, in addition, many that I’ve met are so far removed from the Graces that they may not be the best selection as a Spiritual Director.

The best SD’s will have actual credentials from a program of study.

SD’s Even if they are Faithful to the Magisterium to a fault, they will have a pastoral way of dealing with issues that “you” may find objectionable, because for most of them, it is a ministry.

Some of them charge, some of them don’t. Some of them may have counseling credentials in addition to SD credentials, but they can only perform one function or the other. A typical paid session is about 45 dollars an hour.

Some parish’s have advertisements for SD’s in the bulletin, if the Priest is good, he has interviewed and fingerprinted them before allowing them to use the facilities. If they use the facilities at the church, they will typically not be allowed to charge for any services. Look for SD training programs in your area, many times SD’s going through training will take on Directees during that time to get experience.

Do not mistake Spiritual Direction for therapy, sometimes a SD will try to help you to a fault even if you need the latter. Get both if you need them, there’s no shame in therapy, all talents are gifts of God.

And I go to Spiritual Direction monthly and have for about the last three years (about the time I converted).

Pax et Bonum,
Bill
 
Up until a few years ago, I had a spiritual director that I met with. I no longer receive spiritual direction for various reasons. With the first spiritual director I had, my privacy was compromised. With the next spiritual director that I had, I felt like control became an issue. I know spiritual direction is important. At this point, I know I need spiritual direction, but I feel trapped in who to ask. At one point, I found a woman who I thought would work out, but because of our schedules and cost, things didn’t move forward.
 
songofsunday said:
Up until a few years ago, I had a spiritual director that I met with. I no longer receive spiritual direction for various reasons. With the first spiritual director I had, my privacy was compromised. With the next spiritual director that I had, I felt like control became an issue. I know spiritual direction is important. At this point, I know I need spiritual direction, but I feel trapped in who to ask. At one point, I found a woman who I thought would work out, but because of our schedules and cost, things didn’t move forward.
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It seems that you still see the value and importance even though you have had a few negative experiences. I hope you don’t give up. Here’s a post that you might find helpful in your continued quest. God bless.

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-do-i-find-and-select-spiritual.html
 
Lifeisawesome said:
Curious. From your perspective, what is “spiritual direction”
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Good question. A lot of people really don’t know what it is and what it isn’t. One can receive some religious guidance from anyone but real spiritual direction is best left to someone with the charism for it…and like a doctor…one should not direct one’s one relatives.
 
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JLSamuel818:
I am genuinely interested in your perspective. I would be grateful if you could read a brief treatment on the topic and let me know what you think. Your answer and perspective may be of great benefit to others who desire to deepen their relationship with Christ through spiritual direction. Here’s the post.

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2009/01/spiritual-direction-what-it-is-and-what.html
 
Joannm said:
Good question. A lot of people really don’t know what it is and what it isn’t. One can receive some religious guidance from anyone but real spiritual direction is best left to someone with the charism for it…and like a doctor…one should not direct one’s one relatives.
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Oops - I meant to ask to to you…

I am genuinely interested in your perspective. I would be grateful if you could read a brief treatment on the topic and let me know what you think. Your answer and perspective may be of great benefit to others who desire to deepen their relationship with Christ through spiritual direction. Here’s the post.

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2009/01/spiritual-direction-what-it-is-and-what.html
 
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JLSamuel818:
Strange morning. It appears that maybe I should ask this question to everyone - or irritate them by continuous posting mistakes. Anyway, JLSamuel, I actually intended to ask you.

I am genuinely interested in your perspective. I would be grateful if you could read a brief treatment on the topic and let me know what you think. Your answer and perspective may be of great benefit to others who desire to deepen their relationship with Christ through spiritual direction. Here’s the post.

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2009/01/spiritual-direction-what-it-is-and-what.html
 
Lifeisawesome said:
Strange morning. It appears that maybe I should ask this question to everyone - or irritate them by continuous posting mistakes. Anyway, JLSamuel, I actually intended to ask you.

I am genuinely interested in your perspective. I would be grateful if you could read a brief treatment on the topic and let me know what you think. Your answer and perspective may be of great benefit to others who desire to deepen their relationship with Christ through spiritual direction. Here’s the post.

rcspiritualdirection.blogspot.com/2009/01/spiritual-direction-what-it-is-and-what.html
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Interesting… I was reading the brief article by Father John Bartunek, and I would say my mother really is my spiritual director. If it wasn’t for my mother I would not be a Catholic, rather a Jehova’s witness like that of my father. My mother being born Catholic, divorced my father for my sake when I was five. Since then, gave me correction.

My mother is an incredible wise woman, she helps my doubt, and I have a great communicative relationship with her. She inspired me to forgive when I was bullied, inspired me to show mercy to others. Constantly, preached about the Lord since I was five, until now. Every week, we do something that priests do, called the Lauds. It has intensely helped me and in the Lauds, gives me an opportunity to confess any problems to scared to tell her.

She gives me advice on my obstacles, whether with my doubts, or with anger with my enemies. She’s not perfect either, she is human, and like other families, we fight as well.

She doesn’t need to be perfect to be my spiritual coach. All she has to do is be my mother.

With much love,

_[Samuel]
 
JLSamuel818 said:
Interesting… I was reading the brief article by Father John Bartunek, and I would say my mother really is my spiritual director. If it wasn’t for my mother I would not be a Catholic, rather a Jehova’s witness like that of my father. My mother being born Catholic, divorced my father for my sake when I was five. Since then, gave me correction.

My mother is an incredible wise woman, she helps my doubt, and I have a great communicative relationship with her. She inspired me to forgive when I was bullied, inspired me to show mercy to others. Constantly, preached about the Lord since I was five, until now. Every week, we do something that priests do, called the Lauds. It has intensely helped me and in the Lauds, gives me an opportunity to confess any problems to scared to tell her.

She gives me advice on my obstacles, whether with my doubts, or with anger with my enemies. She’s not perfect either, she is human, and like other families, we fight as well.

She doesn’t need to be perfect to be my spiritual coach. All she has to do is be my mother.

With much love,

_[Samuel]
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Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, but what she is offering you is not spriritual direction but what falls under her obligation to raise you as a Catholic Christian…a promise she made to God when she presented you for baptism.

A spritual director must remain objective with a directee…any deep personal relationship is really to be avoided. I consider my SD a friend, but I also know there have to be very well defined boundaries with regard to emotional attachment in our relationship for him to continue as my SD.
 
JLSamuel818 said:
My Mother gives me spiritual direction. She is very wise.
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I could say to that I go to my mother too, when ever I have a question or concern about our faith. Where I am weak she is strong and I think in that way God helps us. He has given us to each other as gifts (I know some may think that sounds corny) But I can see that now and it is beautiful. She has definitely helped me along this past year. After all, when I thought I was going crazy she kept assuring me it was God calling me home to Him and the church. And as I learned knew things and shared with my mom it also renewed her faith in ways too I think. God Bless
 
nfabienne said:
I could say to that I go to my mother too, when ever I have a question or concern about our faith. Where I am weak she is strong and I think in that way God helps us. He has given us to each other as gifts (I know some may think that sounds corny) But I can see that now and it is beautiful. She has definitely helped me along this past year. After all, when I thought I was going crazy she kept assuring me it was God calling me home to Him and the church. And as I learned knew things and shared with my mom it also renewed her faith in ways too I think. God Bless
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Hmm - you too seem to have a fantastic mother. She reminds me of Saint Monica.

However, any traditional definition of “Spiritual Direction” would, in nearly all cases, exclude a parent as the director. As someone else pointed out - this is just plain good parenting and love with an appropriately spiritual dimension. As with the idea of “contemplation” in prayer. Some may think they have experienced “contemplation” with God based on Webster’s definition, but not necessarily a historic Carmelite definition. Sticking with this analogy “thinking” about God is not the same as infused “contemplation.”

So - similarly, my use of “Spiritual Direction” is far more than someone helping someone else spiritually (even to a great degree). It implies (as some have noted) a primarily dispassionate (not possible with family in most cases) role of the director. Implied in my definition here, this art also includes the development of a “program of life” clear identification of root sin and virtue, and a clear plan regarding how the directee will fight the sin and live out the virtue. Though exemplary parenting (as several have indicated they have) in some ways mirrors true spiritual direction, they are not one in the same… One final example - all of us do many of the things any good priest might do. We love and care for others. We help them when they are hurting. We help them to God. However, because many of our actions are similar to a priest, that does not make us a priest… Make sense?

For those of you with the incredible parents - please pray for me that I could be the same for my four kids. One of them by the way, has a spiritual director outside of the home… 🙂 even though we pray together and discuss our life in Christ on a daily basis.

God bless.
 
Joannm said:
Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, but what she is offering you is not spriritual direction but what falls under her obligation to raise you as a Catholic Christian…a promise she made to God when she presented you for baptism.

A spritual director must remain objective with a directee…any deep personal relationship is really to be avoided. I consider my SD a friend, but I also know there have to be very well defined boundaries with regard to emotional attachment in our relationship for him to continue as my SD.
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Ah… I see.
 
I understand, but I realized by reading His comment about His mom I had not given my mom any credit for a year worth of trying to keep me with The Lord. And for the many many years of rosaries she said for me. And for her unconditional love which I am sure as parents we learn from the Lord. It was just my way of appreciating her. God Bless
 
nfabienne said:
I understand, but I realized by reading His comment about His mom I had not given my mom any credit for a year worth of trying to keep me with The Lord. And for the many many years of rosaries she said for me. And for her unconditional love which I am sure as parents we learn from the Lord. It was just my way of appreciating her. God Bless
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Ah - ok - well - that is very good. You are a good human.

Regardless, you comment provided a means for good clarification.
 
Lifeisawesome said:
Ah - ok - well - that is very good. You are a good human.

Regardless, you comment provided a means for good clarification.
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I get the sense you are mocking my honesty or am I wrong? I am a good human what is that supposed to mean, is that like good dog a pat on the head that’s not what I am looking for I am only sharing. Sorry if my answers don’t fit into your thread perfectly and sorry I am not perfect. I am not sharing to be corrected or mocked :signofcross:God Bless
 
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