What can I get my wife for Christmas? Help

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mkipp:wave: why not give her what she said she would like…time alone. That would entail either her going out alone while you watch baby or you and baby going out so she can be at home alone.

Maybe you could give her one of those little ‘coupon’ books with coupons that say “good for two hours alone” and give her a few to use throughout the year. Then make sure if she chooses to go out, she has gas in her car and a small gift card to go where she’d like, (out for coffee, to Barnes and Noble to book gaze etc., wherever she likes). OR even better, give her a coupon to go to a holy hour by herself, while you watch baby. Now THAT is priceless.

Other thing to remember is that gifts are supposed to be something YOU think the recipient would like, or something meaningful or significant. You don’t have to (and when I say you I mean that to all the husbands here;)) jump hurdles to try to satisfy your wife’s wants with Christmas gifts. A gracious wife will appreciate the thought;)

OH I just had a thought…how about getting a sitting for you all for some really nice family photos at a professional photographers studio? We mommies love our baby pictures:thumbsup:
 
mkipp said:
I think that when she means time, it is time to herself and out of the house. She never really gets a brake between the baby and work. I help as much as I can, but she never gets a second alone to herself lately.
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Oops sorry. Missed this somehow.

She needs time to herself and with you without the little one. Date her once a month and once in a while, send her “out with the girls.” Don’t know your situation much but is that at all possible?
 
chevalier said:
…I already know plenty enough about women blaming a man for failing to read their mind. On the other hand, they hate it when you’re able to do it, too!
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:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Ohh, the irony!!! (This is why it is a vocation, and after 6,000 years there is still no instructions, training, reference guide, or owner’s manual.)
 
ahollars said:
I’ve been married for over 7 years, but my wife is definitely not a new mom. 😃

This is not sarcasm. I actually mean this. Take the shoes back, get her a hallmark card, some chocolates and roses, tell her you aren’t a mind reader, and if she can’t be bothered to confide in you what she wants, let alone figure it out or take the time to think about it, then your efforts are best spent on the new child. Showering kids with gifts qualifies for both mom and kid.

I did that to my wife 3 years ago, and I have never had to figure it out by myself since then. 👍

Ain’t marriage GRAND?!?!?! :slapfight:
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I salute your bravery! 😃
 
A retreat.

Find a local monestary that has a retreat house and pay for it.

If you lived around here, Subiaco Abbey is a wonderful place for retreats.
 
mkipp said:
I am looking for help, as I have no idea what to get my wife for Christmas. She has given me no ideas so far. Jewelry is not an option, as she does not wear much jewelry. But, I am getting her another charm for her Pandora bracelet. I thought of WII Fit, but she said that she would not use it. She is a new mom, but I have no ideas. God Bless
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I went all out this year and got mine what every good wife deserves… a new “high end” vacuum cleaner with the deluxe attachment set. Only the best for my beloved!
👍
 
FiberZilla said:
I went all out this year and got mine what every good wife deserves… a new “high end” vacuum cleaner with the deluxe attachment set. Only the best for my beloved!
👍
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I remember the year my dad did this - mom did not talk to him for about 6 weeks - she finally warmed up then Valentine’s Day came. Dad wanted to make up for his Christmas gift debaucle, he figured she was upset that he bought the wrong thing - so, he bought her a shop-vac. Poor dad.
 
Time is tough for her to find, as she runs a health care facility and is busy. And most of her good and close friends are over an hour away.
 
No one mentioned perfume!!:eek:

My daughters have saved my bacon by finding out what perfume my loving wife liked. It was a present for her and her alone!!
 
I would love to receive a high-end vacuum cleaner! I would be *very *hurt to receive a card telling me that if I don’t figure out what I want and put together a list, I get no gift at all. The best gifts are the ones I would never have thought of on my own!

Some more ideas for your practical wife:
  • Finders Key Purse Hanger (I received one from my husband for Valentine’s Day several years ago. I continue to get compliments on it every time I use it…so basically, my husband gave me several years’ worth of compliments from friends and strangers! :p) If you wanted it to be even more special, you could look into having it engraved.
  • Girls’ Night Out. Does she like to go out for dinner with her girlfriends? Would she enjoy a scrapbooking retreat? Would she enjoy a Jon Bon Jovi concert out-of-town with her girlfriends (my dad’s gift to my mom last year)? Whatever it is, get creative and arrange an opportunity for her to reconnect with her friends.
  • Repair things, run much-delayed errands, clear some things off her “to do” list. The windshield on my car has been cracked for months, and it got dented the first month I had it (in the Catholic church parking lot, with no note! Grr!) We have items in the “Good Will” box that we keep forgetting to donate, some hand-me-down patio furniture that needs to be sanded and repainted, etc. I would be FLOORED if I walked into the garage to discover these tasks cleared out.
 
I think that when she says she wants time, she knows in her heart that she isn’t going to get it for many years. All moms figure this out eventually and come to accept that once a woman has children, she won’t have hours and hours of time to herself for a long time.

And most moms come to accept it and embrace it and enjoy their “bondage” to their little ones. They may sigh once in a while and express the wish that they were still free and easy, but they chose to live in reality rather than long for a fantasy life.

I’m guessing that your wife is choosing to live in reality, and that she only expresses the wish for “time” because she honestly doesn’t have any deep burning desire for a certain gift.

I’m like that. I have everything I need and want. I like candles and I can always use more (my kids say that the house looks like a funeral parlor with so many candles!). I like towels and can always use more. But that’s about it. If I need something (or want something), I usually just buy it for myself. Sad, isn’t it? I’ll bet your wife does the same.

I agree with shannyk about literally giving her more time by volunteering to watch the baby while she has a daily “hour” or so of free time. It kind of sounds like you already do this and that’s great, but perhaps it could a little more regular and scheduled. Sit down with her and talk this over and make some “babysitting dates.” Schedule these dates and write them down in your calendars (or enter them into your iPhone!). If you don’t, you won’t ever get around to it. Make it happen at least a few times a week for an hour or so. You’ll enjoy being “super dad” for that short time, and she’ll enjoy just getting away.

This could be a Christmas present, but to me, this is just ordinary life. Wise parents figure this out–dad needs to step up and give mom a break from baby (or babies) on a regular basis. This is like discovering that you have to wash dishes or buy groceries or fix that leak in the basement! These important “discoveries” are the stuff of “real marriages” that last! (There are some couples who never manage to figure out who will wash the dishes!)

I’m not so cool on the “spa” idea. I’m overweight and the last thing I want to do is sit around in a towel and let other women rub my flab. Eugh. I go to a cheap place to have my hair done and that’s fine with me. I’m allergic to a lot of scents, and I don’t really get into having hot rocks placed strategically on my spine to align my “chakra” with the universe.

In fact, I think that these types of things rob me of my time. If you’re going to give your wife TIME, let HER decide how to use it. Maybe she just wants to go sit in the car and smoke a whole pack of ciggies one right after the other! Or go to a park, sit on a bench, and read the newspaper. Or buy a donut and eat it by herself without a baby grabbing at it and crying when he/she can’t reach it. Or maybe she’ll just sleep.

Let HER decide. If she wants to spend your babysitting time going to the spa, great.

I also agree with the gentleman who suggested a blunt, “Tell me exactly what you want or you will get candy and flowers.” My husband often says this–he tells me that he is not a mind-reader and that I have to write it down with as much descriptive detail as possible, or he’ll inevitably come home with the wrong thing. At this point in our marriage (30 years), my husband and I make Christmas lists and ask our daughters to make Christmas lists, and we stick to those lists. We might buy some cute little things for stocking stuffers, but cheap cute little things!

The main thing is–everything with LOVE. Don’t get mad or exasperated over this. Gentle, kind, loving–woo her. Make this something fun. Don’t turn it into a power struggle (“If you don’t tell me what you want, I’m not getting you anything!”) This may not be the best year to enjoy a super duper Christmas. Maybe it will be a box of candy, a few trinkets, and then a day of watching movies on TV while baby plays. That’s beautiful. Enjoy it!
 
Sierrah said:
How about a poem then. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare she’ll be happy you made the effort. 😃
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I’ll say this as kindly as possible, but honestly, if all I got from my dh was a poem, I would cry. And not tears of joy, either. “Gift of time” things are fine, perfect even, for a mom who is totally swamped, but not just a poem, unless there is truly not a cent to be spared in the budget. Save the poetry and love notes for “just because” moments on random days, left on the pillow or clipped to the sun visor in the car or something.

Margaret
 
I am thinking of getting my wife a room at a hotel for her and her friends in our old college city of Portland, Me. I will pay for all dinner and drinks, hotel and breakfast. Is that a good idea?
 
mkipp said:
I am thinking of getting my wife a room at a hotel for her and her friends in our old college city of Portland, Me. I will pay for all dinner and drinks, hotel and breakfast. Is that a good idea?
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That sounds nice - like a secular retreat 😛

One thing - she works full time and is a mom. When she asks for time, is she trying to tell you that in her heart she wants to be a stay-at-home-mom? Might be worth talking about, what you can do to get to that goal if that is what her heart desires…
 
mkipp said:
I am thinking of getting my wife a room at a hotel for her and her friends in our old college city of Portland, Me. I will pay for all dinner and drinks, hotel and breakfast. Is that a good idea?
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I love this idea! 🙂
 
mkipp said:
I am thinking of getting my wife a room at a hotel for her and her friends in our old college city of Portland, Me. I will pay for all dinner and drinks, hotel and breakfast. Is that a good idea?
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Add some chick flick DVDs if you have money left over. While she’s out, do the chores and have the place spotless with the laundry done when she returns. Also, have a fancy, but not heavy, meal plan for the evening return that involves as little work and prep time as possible (unless you can work on it while she’s gone) with quick clean up afterward. Make sure a light wine fits in the mix. Swallow your tongue and enjoy a chick flick with her.

Warning: may cause pregnancy.
 
If I were you, I’d find a way to give her time to go out alone or stay at home alone and have peace and quiet. I’m a SAHM and I can’t tell you how much I value the 7 1/2 hours of kid free/husband free time I get each week while my youngest is in preschool. Get her a gift card to her favorite place to buy clothes and offer to stay at home with the baby while she goes out to buy clothes. I’m always thrilled when my husband takes the time to buy something that I didn’t have to pick out and order for myself for him to give me.

Oh and I’m one of those women who would be upset if my husband gave me a day at the spa, flowers, jewelry or an expensive purse. I’m the kind of gal who likes the gifts other women would kill their husbands for giving them like a new toilet (best Valentine’s present EVER!), power tools or small appliances.
 
I have a hunch that your wife is not telling you on purpose. This could be a test to see what you’ll come up with on your own. If what she wants is more time, I’m thinking she may feel neglected and maybe unloved. Don’t get mad at me for saying that…you know that Mars and Venus thing? Men want respect and women want love. These are deal breakers. So…How much time do you actually spend together at the end of the day or weekends? Do you talk about things like you did when you were first married? Do you ever just bring home something because you hoped she’d like it? When you talk to her, are you making eye contact or are you busy doing something more important than her? If you’re guilty of taking her for granted, it’s easy to fix. Maybe create a coupon book for her to redeem when she wants. Be creative…and make sure they aren’t things like 50-yard line tickets, you know? They could be something you used to do together, or that you know she’d like you to do (garbage/clean the garage, etc)…take her to a restaurant/event that she’s crazy about and you hate., etc. When you’re presented with a coupon then do it right away with a smile. I’ll bet what she really wants is to know in words and hugs that she’s still the one for you. I also really,really love the spa idea…manicure and pedicure for sure. Good luck!
 
Try something athletic and new as a hobby like for instance my dh does a lot of family and his and her martial arts memberships this time of year. Especially if she just had a child - caution - she may spend more time laughing at you then worrying about how much hurts getting back into shape. Besides the better shape - the sooner the next one…
 
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