What do girls search in guys?

[dedo]

I don’t recall many “bad dates”, except perhaps when a relationship was not working out.

In general, I find different people interesting, so I found even times when there was no second date to be interesting, if not fun.

And for the relationships that did not last, well that was probably from my own lack of development at the time.

In general, I think it is a mistake to focus on others’ flaws. The best way to have the best results is to constantly keep improving yourself.

So, my dating experience improved when I worked on myself and moved myself forward. My relationship lasted when I grew up.

 

[oldfashcathgirl]

There is a group…

Young singles

forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=1737

Here’s your invitation…

 

[mrajax]

Thanks oldfashcatholicgirl for the invite.

Thing is guys, I’m having difficulty controlling my temper. It’s not that I lash out at people when I’m angry, far from it as I don’t do that but I’ve been noticing that I have a lot of supressed anger and frustration inside me stemming from my experiences with cyber-bullying and the fact that skimming through these forums, I notice that there are a few (not all) atheist users who don’t come to discuss the faith but instead ridicule it and try to make us feel bad. And without intending to put up a victim complex at all, they remind me of Christopher Hitchens: they have the same condescending air about them, the same feeling youg et from someone who think he’s more intelligent than you becuase you believe in the supernatural etc…, they use the same twisted logic and deliberately twist our words and man, I’m going off track here. The worst thing is that I noticed that if you say just one angry word, they use it as a basis of you being an evil person despite they themselves deliberately writing posts and threads with no intention other than to put us down and when I confronted these type of people I had to pass through this experience of being demonized.

The thing is that I’m scared, really absolutely scared that I’m going to have to pass through all those loathesome experiences again in future because frankly, I want to make a big name for myself; I want to enter the world of the arts and become an animation director, an author and make my own works of ficiton. I know its going to be tough but compared to recieving hate mail I think it’d be an easier load to bear. What do you guys think?

 

[Tomyris]

It’s been a while.

But: emotional strength and stability, thoughtfulness, intelligence, a sense of humor, kindness, courage, self-control, maturity, purpose. Someone said, someone I can respect. Yes!

If I were dating today and looking for the perfect man (I married him!:extrahappy:)
A slouching dork who talks dirty and stupid and ogles other women is out, out, out.

If he talks about a video game score on the first date that will be the last.

If he picks his nose, a scab, or amuses himself with disgusting noises he is toast.

If he gets mad or badmouths his last girlfriend (or current one) that is it.

If I catch him lying, or if I even THINK he is lying, he is hamburger.

If he doesn’t bother leaving a tip, or just a nickel, or expects me to pay, he will pay.

If he insults me or angers or upsets me, he is done.

If he is so obsessed with sports so he has to watch a game during the meal, goodbye. If he keeps bringing the conversation back again and again to ANYTHING that I don’t care about, goodbye.

If he seems to know more about women’s clothes than I do, goodbye.

If he has octopus arms, or touches inappropriately, goodbye. He better be a gentleman. If he does not know what one is, goodbye.

I want a man who can lead me higher in my walk with Christ. A man who will love me and whom I can respect. A man willing to sacrifice for me, to love me as Christ loves the church.

Flowers wow me. Opening a door for me or little thoughtful acts get me.

 

[DaveBj]

It’s been a while.

But: emotional strength and stability, thoughtfulness, intelligence, a sense of humor, kindness, courage, self-control, maturity, purpose. Someone said, someone I can respect. Yes!

If I were dating today and looking for the perfect man (I married him!:extrahappy:)
A slouching dork who talks dirty and stupid and ogles other women is out, out, out.

snip for space-saving

This brings up something I have said in this context. If I am addressing a young man, it would go something like, “Always act like a gentleman, and treat your girl like a lady. And never stick with a girl who doesn’t act like a lady and treat you like a gentleman.” Reverse it for talking to a young woman.

 

[Wonderette]

What are girls looking for in guys? Well, I’m pretty picky, which is probably why I’m single, but I’m willing to compromise on certain things. I’ll explain.

Non-negotiable:

1. Highly preferable that he be Catholic
2. No smoking
3. Preferably no tattoos
4. Is truthful
5. Doesn’t drink to excess

Here are my preferences, but they could be changed if the right guy comes along:

1. Tall (I’m pretty tall for a girl)
2. Doesn’t like oatmeal or coconut (I abhor these foods, though I will tolerate oatmeal)
3. Doesn’t mind watching Pride and Prejudice with me
4. Reads
5. Sings well

 

[chevalier]

This brings up something I have said in this context. If I am addressing a young man, it would go something like, “Always act like a gentleman, and treat your girl like a lady. And never stick with a girl who doesn’t act like a lady and treat you like a gentleman.” Reverse it for talking to a young woman.

These days there might be a need to tolerate initial failures and see if there’s improvement after a conversation or two. Personally, I’ve tried sticking to the requirement or overlooking it but I don’t think I’ve ever tried actually bringing it up, explaining what’s wrong about it, what I see as being right, and giving a chance.

A lot of people actually act on unpremeditated patterns, not particularly deep-rooted preferences, or a couple of cynical presumptions beginning with that it’s no longer valued to act the right way. But give it a conversation, talk to them like a human being and show some trust and they might live up to it yet. Not unlike students, soldiers, people in business and others.

…A lot of people want a ready product, while it has more to do with potential.

 

[Greg_N]

1. Sings well

I guess sometimes it’s just not meant to be.

 

[Wonderette]

I guess sometimes it’s just not meant to be.

Please note that what you’re referring to was in my list that I could compromise on. I would not turn someone down just because he couldn’t sing.

 

[Greg_N]

Please note that what you’re referring to was in my list that I could compromise on. I would not turn someone down just because he couldn’t sing.

So I’ve still got a chance? :extrahappy:

 

[mrajax]

So I’ve still got a chance? :extrahappy:

Nope.

 

[Vim71]

Thing is guys, I’m having difficulty controlling my temper. It’s not that I lash out at people when I’m angry, far from it as I don’t do that but I’ve been noticing that I have a lot of supressed anger and frustration inside me stemming from my experiences with cyber-bullying and the fact that skimming through these forums, I notice that there are a few (not all) atheist users who don’t come to discuss the faith but instead ridicule it and try to make us feel bad. And without intending to put up a victim complex at all, they remind me of Christopher Hitchens: they have the same condescending air about them, the same feeling youg et from someone who think he’s more intelligent than you becuase you believe in the supernatural etc…, they use the same twisted logic and deliberately twist our words and man, I’m going off track here. The worst thing is that I noticed that if you say just one angry word, they use it as a basis of you being an evil person despite they themselves deliberately writing posts and threads with no intention other than to put us down and when I confronted these type of people I had to pass through this experience of being demonized.

So let them make us feel bad. Whatever doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger. They won’t attack you if you don’t let them push your buttons. I know because I used to have anger control issues like you and I let things bother me.

Another thing, before getting angry at them, ask yourself: Does it matter what their opinion of you is? Sometimes the best defense is to do nothing at all. You can try and reason with people, but if they are not going to be reasonable with you, don’t invest your time into them, but instead pray for them.

Just my :twocents:

 

[Tomyris]

A further thought: What do girls search in guys? There is as much variety among women as there is among men. Not all want or look for the same thing.

 

[Vim71]

A further thought: What do girls search in guys? There is as much variety among women as there is among men. Not all want or look for the same thing.

Exactly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just be yourself, you will find someone who like you for you.

 

[kelvinf]

I’m a 55 year-old women with two grown daughters. Daughter #1 is almost 30 and single. Daughter #2 is in her late 20s and married.

Without question, girls search for a man who can provide a decent income, and those girls who don’t look for this in their first man look for it in their second man.

It’s not about princesses wanting more purses and shoes. It’s about having the option of staying home and raising your own babies rather than working and putting the babies in daycare. Even though many young women want a career and want to earn money, when it comes to babies, many young women want very much to stay home, at least for the first few years of their children’s lives. This means marrying a man who can provide enough of an income to enable the wife to stay home while children are young.

Even though some of the women on CAF are amazing at living the most simple lifestyle and being content and happy, most women don’t want to live this way, counting every penny, making their own curtains from worn bedsheets, washing clothes in a bathtub, soaking dried beans for supper every night, homeschooling because you’re afraid to let your little ones attend the neighborhood public school and you can’t even begin to afford a private or parochial school, and living in a broken-down shanty in a neighborhood where you have to carry a gun to feel safe.

Most women want to be able to have the option of sending their kids to the parish school. Most women want their little ones to take piano and swimming lessons, or have a pet dog, or take a weekend family trip to the Six Flags Over America. It’s really really tough to be poor in the U.S. Again, some women on CAF are obviously not very wealthy (although they do have access to a computer), and they are an example to us all.

But you won’t meet up with too many women like that. Most women want to live a “normal” life, and so they search for a man who can help provide them with that life.

And it really doesn’t matter if that man is a “geek” who enjoys the most nerdly of hobbies. Most women, when push comes to shove, will go with the geeky guy who makes a good living, and leave the hunk who earns minimum wage standing at the bar holding his beer mug.

I assume you personally know or are pretty familiar with some of these women on CAF you are talking about.

 

[mrajax]

So let them make us feel bad. Whatever doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger. They won’t attack you if you don’t let them push your buttons. I know because I used to have anger control issues like you and I let things bother me.

Another thing, before getting angry at them, ask yourself: Does it matter what their opinion of you is? Sometimes the best defense is to do nothing at all. You can try and reason with people, but if they are not going to be reasonable with you, don’t invest your time into them, but instead pray for them.

Just my :twocents:

Thats exactly what I have been doing all this time I relaized I was getting bullied. Thanks for confirming it’s the right thing to do .

 

[Debora123]

Exactly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just be yourself, you will find someone who like you for you.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… but only to a certain extent.

In our most primitive nature, we are biologically programmed to be attracted to healthy, fit figures.

Not saying at all that looks are all that matter (they’re not) but it won’t hurt to take care of yourself by keeping yourself clean, well groomed, and healthy/fit.

 

[Vim71]

Thats exactly what I have been doing all this time I relaized I was getting bullied. Thanks for confirming it’s the right thing to do .

No problem.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder… but only to a certain extent.

In our most primitive nature, we are biologically programmed to be attracted to healthy, fit figures.

If I think someone is beautiful, then I am going to think their beautiful regardless. So your point is incorrect. There is no extent, either I think someone is beautiful or I do not, so sorry, your statement is incorrect.

In our most primitive nature, we are biologically programmed to be attracted to healthy, fit figures.

Well for some people, yes maybe they do, but others either ignore or suppress this.

You also fail to mention that everyone has a unique view on what they consider to be fit or healthy, which just goes again to prove “Beauty is in the Eye the beholder”.

I personally do not go by some biological attraction towards a woman, I get to know them, so your point that biological attraction is the basis is wrong, because it is not for me. (I’m tired that may not make sense, sorry).

Sorry, but as someone who loves women for who they are, someone who once dated (and teased for dating) a woman who wasn’t the “fittest” person by others, and not because of some dumb “primitive” urge, this irks me.

I mean no disrespect towards you.

Edit: Oops removed part of my post. Fixed.

 

[Debora123]

No problem.

If I think someone is beautiful, then I am going to think their beautiful regardless. So your point is incorrect. There is no extent, either I think someone is beautiful or I do not, so sorry, your statement is incorrect.

Well for some people, yes maybe they do, but others either ignore or suppress this.

You also fail to mention that everyone has a unique view on what they consider to be fit or healthy, which just goes again to prove “Beauty is in the Eye the beholder”.

Sorry, but as someone who loves women for who they are, someone who once dated (and teased for dating) a woman who wasn’t the “fittest” person by others, and not because of some dumb “primitive” urge, this irks me.

I mean no disrespect towards you.

Wow… didn’t mean to personally offend.

I’m not saying someone needs to look perfect or anything, I’m just saying that I believe there to be a certain criteria we look for when it comes to physical attractiveness… a criteria that comes from primitive instincts. Therefore, it doesn’t hurt to take care of ourselves and our bodies.

If you have Netflix, you should watch a documentary called “Sex Appeal.” It is very interesting, and is available streaming on Netflix.

 

[Vim71]

Wow… didn’t mean to personally offend.

It’s okay.

Edit: Just know that there are people out there who love someone for who they are, and not because they happen to be the “Fittest” person on the planet. To me, that is irrelevant, but hey, that’s me.