What do girls search in guys?

[Debora123]

I agree with you there.
Hence, it is sad when that priority (that of taking care of oneself) is distorted into the hunt for most good-looking date-able person alive at the expense of other priorities such as personality.

Agreed good sir, agreed.

 

[Debora123]

I knew that I’m the person being referred here.
Again, I apologize for that.

Lol I don’t even remember who it was honestly, it was a long time ago.

 

[Crescentinus]

Lol I don’t even remember who it was honestly, it was a long time ago.

True, it’s a long time ago.

 

[Crescentinus]

Agreed good sir, agreed.

I did say in an earlier post that the priorities in dating should be balanced. (post #94) In the current dating scene however, priorities are practically abandoned.

 

[Debora123]

I did say in an earlier post that the priorities in dating should be balanced. (post #94) In the current dating scene however, priorities are practically abandoned.

Very true. Physical attraction is something that gets us to initially be drawn to the person. But it’s hardly enough to sustain a good relationship. There are other much more important things that last a lot longer than physical appearances.

 

[Crescentinus]

Very true. Physical attraction is something that gets us to initially be drawn to the person. But it’s hardly enough to sustain a good relationship. There are other much more important things that last a lot longer than physical appearances.

Such as personality and how one interacts.
Sadly, the “one-night-stand” mentality in some parts of the current dating scene have ejected personality and interpersonal interaction out the window.
I’ve been a victim of this “sola physical attraction” mentality since high school, hence me speaking out against it.

 

[Vim71]

Physical attraction is something that gets** us **to initially be drawn to the person.

By us you mean “certain people”, because FYI, not everyone does.

Everyone is unique, so please stop generalizing everyone.

 

[Debora123]

By us you mean “certain people”, because FYI, not everyone does.

Everyone is unique, so please stop generalizing everyone.

So you would start dating someone for whom you are not physically attracted to?

Don’t mean to generalize, but if that’s true, you are in the very very small minority. It is perfectly appropriate to say couples are physically attracted to each other.

 

[kelvinf]

Yeah, I have 0 idea what you’re talking about.

I’ve always been a huge supporter of taking care of oneself, and of not pretending physical attraction doesn’t play a role.

Perhaps you are referring to a thread where one poster kept referring to small chested women as “flat chested” and saying they look like men. Yeah, I thought that was an offensive thing to say. That would be like me going around and saying that bigger women look like whales. It is offensive and untrue. Not sure how this has anything to do with what I’ve been writing here, or how it’s a “double standard” of any sorts.

Well, he came under heavy fire from you and others because of the kind of women he is attracted to–his physical preference. Ok, if you and others were offended because of what he said some people say about women he doesn’t feel attracted to, then it’s somewhat understandable.

 

[Debora123]

Well, he came under heavy fire from you and others because of the kind of women he is attracted to–his physical preference. Ok, if you and others were offended because of what he said some people say about women he doesn’t feel attracted to, then it’s somewhat understandable.

Nope. I remember specifically saying there was nothing wrong with having these preferences. I just didn’t like the terminology used… Saying “flat chested” and “look like men.” Yes, that is offensive.

I remember making perfectly clear on exactly what I meant.

 

[Vim71]

So you would start dating someone for whom you are not physically attracted to?

Don’t mean to generalize, but if that’s true, you are in the very very small minority. It is perfectly appropriate to say couples are physically attracted to each other.

Physical attraction comes when I get to know the person, there’s more to physical attraction then what’s is on the outside. Thus, I don’t base my attraction on what a person looks like, it is irrelevant and illogical to do so. I base it on what’s inside, and if I like a person enough, my physical attraction to them comes from that alone. No whether or not their face is symmetrical, or they’re as thin as a toothpick.

I dated a young woman once, they teased her because she was far from being thin, but I got to know her, she was a sweet, kind a strong woman inside, and I became attracted to her, not just emotionally, but physically too. I did not judge her because of her weight, and I’m glad she did because I cherished the bond I shared with her for that year.

Thus, I reiterate: Beauty is in the Eye of the beholder.

I don’t like hearing when people say that every man/woman on the planet cares about a person’s weight, their overall health, how fit they are, etc. That simply is not true, and you indirectly hurt those people whether you realize that or not. There are some people who are not going to be as thin as a tooth pick, or a fit as a house. Some people are going to be just that: Themselves. And those people, men or women are reading this topic, and they are getting the wrong message: That someone will only love you if you meet some superfluous criteria.

Some people like the color green, others like Blue. Some people like rock music, some people like classical. Some men base their attraction to women on physical criteria, others get to know the person inside and base their attraction on that.

My point is, you are generalizing how people base their attractions, which is wrong, and comes off as rude. Maybe you don’t intend that, but that’s what it seems like.

Hopefully you see where I’m coming from here.

 

[Debora123]

Physical attraction comes when I get to know the person, there’s more to physical attraction then what’s is on the outside. Thus, I don’t base my attraction on what a person looks like, it is irrelevant and illogical to do so. I base it on what’s inside, and if I like a person enough, my physical attraction to them comes from that alone. No whether or not their face is symmetrical, or they’re as thin as a toothpick.

Nothing I said is irrelevant and illogical. You seem to be the only one here so far who thinks so. If you say appearance has absolutely 0 to do with your physical attraction to someone, you are in the vast minority my friend. And that’s fine, of course, and good for you. However, just know that it is definitely in the vast minority. Therefore if someone is trying to attract a member of the opposite sex, it is still a good idea to take care of yourself, to take a shower, to smell good, to brush your teeth, etc etc. As for the thin as a toothpick, comment… no idea where that came from.

I don’t like hearing when people say that every man/woman on the planet cares about a person’s weight, their overall health, how fit they are, etc. That simply is not true, and you indirectly hurt those people whether you realize that or not. There are some people who are not going to be as thin as a tooth pick, or a fit as a house. Some people are going to be just that: Themselves. And those people, men or women are reading this topic, and they are getting the wrong message: That someone will only love you if you meet some superfluous criteria.

Ugh sigh

You apparently still didn’t understand what I was saying, and are constructing things in your mind that were never said.

Some people like the color green, others like Blue. Some people like rock music, some people like classical. Some men base their attraction to women on physical criteria, others get to know the person inside and base their attraction on that.

Again, you are taking what I said waayyy out of context.

My point is, you are generalizing how people base their attractions, which is wrong, and comes off as rude. Maybe you don’t intend that, but that’s what it seems like.

Hopefully you see where I’m coming from here.

I see that you didn’t quite get what I said and are taking things way too personal. Nothing else left to say.

 

[Vim71]

You apparently still didn’t understand what I was saying, and are constructing things in your mind that were never said.

You just have to get the last word don’t you?

No, you have made it a point to focus on the “physical attraction” was important and that the other stuff didn’t matter until after the “initial attraction” in all your posts thus far. Infact until I mentioned that I don’t take that into consideration, you generalized everyone.

I’m tried of this, and your immaturity. I’m adding this topic to my URL blocklist, you want to talk about it further? Take it to a PM. I’m not giving you the satisfaction of being on display so you can play the victim card.

@mrajax, if you want to talk further, I sent you a friend request dude.

 

[Debora123]

You just have to get the last word don’t you?

Not necessarily. But I do feel the need to point out that you completely misconstrue what I’ve been saying and taking it to the extreme when I’ve repeatedly explained to you what I mean.

No, you have made it a point to focus on the “physical attraction” was important and that the other stuff didn’t matter until after the “initial attraction” in all your posts thus far. Infact until I mentioned that I don’t take that into consideration, you generalized everyone.

Wrong again, surprisingly enough.

I’m tried of this, and your immaturity. I’m adding this topic to my URL blocklist, you want to talk about it further? Take it to a PM. I’m not giving you the satisfaction of being on display so you can play the victim card.

Um wow ok.

No, I have no need to “talk about it further.” You simply continue to misconstrue what I say and then get angry about it.

 

[Crescentinus]

Nope. I remember specifically saying there was nothing wrong with having these preferences. I just didn’t like the terminology used… Saying “flat chested” and “look like men.” Yes, that is offensive.

I remember making perfectly clear on exactly what I meant.

To be fair, I had no idea about which terms to use.

 

[Debora123]

To be fair, I had no idea about which terms to use.

Haha, this is water under the bridge… but since you’re asking, you could’ve just said you prefer women with bigger breasts as opposed to smaller breasts. You didn’t have to use any terms.

 

[Crescentinus]

Haha, this is water under the bridge… but since you’re asking, you could’ve just said you prefer women with bigger breasts as opposed to smaller breasts. You didn’t have to use any terms.

Problem is, it would still be offensive since I would be called a pervert and then people would say that I have a breast fetish, when I do not have any fetishes. In fact, I was partly attacking a type of fetish which is rather prevalent in my side of the world.
Hence, I should have said that I prefer women who have a well-proportioned figure. I was going to say that, but the thread was locked.
By well-proportioned, I mean that I prefer a woman who has the various measurements (face and body) proportionate to height. I am an artist and I love beauty.
I am unsure if it’s okay with the rules if I should elaborate on the proportions or not. Should I do it?
In any case, it’s in the realm of the physical and while it’s important attraction-wise, it’s not important compared to other traits such as personality and interpersonal relations.

 

[kelvinf]

Problem is, it would still be offensive since I would be called a pervert and then people would say that I have a breast fetish, when I do not have any fetishes. In fact, I was partly attacking a type of fetish which is rather prevalent in my side of the world.
Hence, I should have said that I prefer women who have a well-proportioned figure. I was going to say that, but the thread was locked.
By well-proportioned, I mean that I prefer a woman who has the various measurements (face and body) proportionate to height. I am an artist and I love beauty.
I am unsure if it’s okay with the rules if I should elaborate on the proportions or not. Should I do it?
In any case, it’s in the realm of the physical and while it’s important attraction-wise, it’s not important compared to other traits such as personality and interpersonal relations.

Man, no matter how you say what physical attraction is to you, I believe there are women who would unfortunately take offense at you.

 

[Greg_N]

Subconsciously and instinctively, when we think someone is physically attractive, what we’re really thinking is that this person has good genes and would provide us with good offspring.

Thinking in such methodical terms is not wise, as you are reducing beauty to some kind of biological function and its parts (genes etc.). Such a view would seem to show you are committed to a kind of Reductionism (which not only denies the existence of universals, but would also be considered heretical by the Church).

We tend to like clear skin as opposed to acne. (health/cleanliness)
We tend to like a more fit figure as opposed to obese. (health)
In women, we see curvy hips as being attractive. (fertility)
In men, we see toned muscles as being attractive. (good provider)
We like white teeth. (health/cleanliness)
We like youth. (fertility)
We like symmetry in the face (health)

You’re wrong about teeth.

 

[Greg_N]

Hence, I should have said that I prefer women who have a well-proportioned figure.

Crescentinus, you sly dog.