What do you think of greeters?

[Cat]

I just want to say a word about “coffee and donuts.”

For many people, both coffee and donuts are “forbidden.”

I don’t drink coffee, and if there is nothing else provided, I have to go find a cup of water to drink. That’s OK, but I wouldn’t want to do this as a “visitor.” It would be one more thing to make me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

As for donuts, I can’t think of any diet that allows them other than the “Homer Simpson Let’s Get Fat” diet. I LOVE donuts, but I shouldn’t eat them, especially if I plan to go out to eat right after church. And kids probably shouldn’t eat them at all (and most kids won’t-they take one bite and then hand it over to Mom and Dad.)

What I’m saying is that coffee and donuts will not work for everyone. It’s a good idea and should be continued. But I do wish that churches would just say, “Refreshments,” and try to offer a few more healthy choices.

Also, in every Catholic parish that I’ve been in, Coffee and Donuts is “downstairs.” Sorry, I don’t do stairs. Someone had better point me to the elevator or I won’t be coming.

Protestants are used to “Sunday school” offered before or after worship services. They will feel very uncertain of whether they are in the right place for Coffee and Donuts (since many Protestant Sunday School classes include coffee and donuts!), so there should be a sign up that makes it clear that the visitor is in the right place.

Finally, I think that Coffee and Donuts is quite awkward. I am an outgoing, talkative, un-shy person who easily works a room and meets people. But even I don’t feel comfortable sipping a drink and munching a fatty snack and chatting up people that I suspect are really cultists or pagan. I think that a better (and cheaper) way to reach out to Protestant visitors is to set up a few Information Tables in the lobby or narthex or whatever you call it. Sorry to all who dislike the “noise,” but tell me where else it can be done, OK? You have to be practical about these things.

Set up the tables, put out tracts and information about the parish and about the Catholic church, or about prolife work or Catholic moral teachings. This is one of the main reasons that Protestant visit Catholic churches–they are tired of the liberal pablum and abortion-friendly, sin-mushy sermons at their Protestant churches. They are looking for tough Christian morality!

Put out a bowl of candy and/or fruit (or a platter of donuts!), and then just put a few friendly, knowledgeable Catholics (preferably converts) behind those tables. Allow the visitors to approach the table and ask questions and strike up conversations. This method is not so intidimidating as Coffee and Donuts, and I think will actually encourage more visitors to actually talk with Catholics and ask the questions that they are dying to ask!

 

[CDNowak]

Cat: enough with bashing the protestants. They are not the monolithic paranoid, judgmental group. If you do not wish others to generalize their reaction to greeters, even if it is rather broad (over a dozen parishes in four diocese and three states in my case), then realize that you are consistently doing the same thing to other Christians.

 

[Jacafamala]

Well, I happen to like coffee and donuts. It’s very social. If you don’t like the spread, bring something to share along with you, maybe.

 

[tweetymom]

Cat: enough with bashing the protestants. They are not the monolithic paranoid, judgmental group. If you do not wish others to generalize their reaction to greeters, even if it is rather broad (over a dozen parishes in four diocese and three states in my case), then realize that you are consistently doing the same thing to other Christians.

Amen to that!! For the life of me I do not understand no matter what the subject on most all at least 95% of the threads here at wind up bashing the Protestants for one thing or another. Seems unreal to me that we couldn’t be finding ways to show Gods love and talk about His Goodness and Great things He has done. Whenever someone such as myself tries to defend or show compassion I am told I am going to Hell(not on this thread) am not a Catholic. Well if being judgemental towards my fellow man means I am Catholic ,guess I pass on what you think a Catholic should or shouldn’t be. In Christ’s love:shrug:

 

[CDNowak]

Seriously, though, where does this “I go to Mass to worship God, not greet you” come from? Where, theologically speaking, did you ever get the idea that at Mass you approach Calvary alone? If we do not approach God as one, we do not keep the explicit commandment of Christ, who bid us to be one* as He and the Father are one*. How can we dare approach God, if we don’t keep the most basic of commandments?

We do go to Mass to worship God first. Yes, we do worship **both **as individuals and as a community, but the purpose of the Mass is not to build the community. The fact of the matter is that the proper place for such interaction is separate from the Mass.

The function of greeters, like the gift of tongues (I cor 14:22), serves those outside the community more than those inside. They are harmful if they are not well trained in etiquette and at least functional in reading body language. The logistics need to be arranged so that the noise entering the nave is minimal. They need not to remain focused on greeting people: not as if they were at Walmart, but in such a way as to help them collect themselves for the Mass.

However, you raise an interesting point, and I agree that there needs to be the community. The problem is that greeters don’t build this community, in part because alienate a significant part of the community (as we see on this thread). The restoration of the Agape meal (beyond donuts and coffee) would go far, but in many places is impractical. The local community used to function around the parish, and to the extent that it can this needs to be recovered.

Is it possible, I wonder, for us to be one with the Church and our separated brethren without first managing a semblance of community in our own parish?

 

[tweetymom]

We do go to Mass to worship God first. Yes, we do worship **both **as individuals and as a community, but the purpose of the Mass is not to build the community. The fact of the matter is that the proper place for such interaction is separate from the Mass.

The function of greeters, like the gift of tongues (I cor 14:22), serves those outside the community more than those inside. They are harmful if they are not well trained in etiquette and at least functional in reading body language. The logistics need to be arranged so that the noise entering the nave is minimal. They need not to remain focused on greeting people: not as if they were at Walmart, but in such a way as to help them collect themselves for the Mass.

However, you raise an interesting point, and I agree that there needs to be the community. The problem is that greeters don’t build this community, in part because alienate a significant part of the community (as we see on this thread). The restoration of the Agape meal (beyond donuts and coffee) would go far, but in many places is impractical. The local community used to function around the parish, and to the extent that it can this needs to be recovered.

Is it possible, I wonder, for us to be one with the Church and our separated brethren without first managing a semblance of community in our own parish?

Or always complaining about them? Novel thought

 

[DOShea]

As for donuts, I can’t think of any diet that allows them other than the “Homer Simpson Let’s Get Fat” diet.

You must not be eating them the right way. If you break the donut into 4 quarters, you have 8 open spaces for the calories to leak out. Calorie leakage… saving man from the evils of donuts everywhere.

 

[ac_claire]

Seriously, though, where does this “I go to Mass to worship God, not greet you” come from? Where, theologically speaking, did you ever get the idea that at Mass you approach Calvary alone? If we do not approach God as one, we do not keep the explicit commandment of Christ, who bid us to be one* as He and the Father are one*. How can we dare approach God, if we don’t keep the most basic of commandments?

I’d say quite seriously that if you imagine you do approach God apart from your brothers, and hold anything against them or them against you as you do so, re-think that. If the only show of fraternal charity that’s being asked is a nod or a handshake, you’re getting off rather easy. Just a thought. One as He and the Father are one…That’s a pretty big order, and no shirking allowed.

Well, not appreciating too much socializing and friendly distractions at Mass has nothing to do with “approaching Calvary alone”…

I know that I’m at Mass as part of a community (hence “communion”). I know it’s an intimate family supper as well as a Sacrifice. But that doesn’t mean that the blurring of the lines between the liturgy and the post-Mass “meet 'n greet” is a good thing. It’s a community event but not a social event, if that makes sense. Most of the Mass involves listening to readings, the homily or the Liturgy of the Eucharist, or kneeling (or sitting) in private prayer. That’s not condusive to chatting and laughing and hugging your neighbor, etc.

Again though…I’m all for the after-Mass meet 'n greet, coffee and doughnuts (sorry Cat!), or what have you.

 

[Elizabeth502]

It’s a community event but not a social event, if that makes sense.

Sums up my own feelings.

 

[Sarabande]

One parish in particular I went to confession at was very noisy with all kinds of people talking and laughing with no regard for those waiting in the confession line. (in this church, confessions are heard in a room in the lobby of the church, not in the knave). Attempts to quiet them down were met with looks of surprise followed by quiet talking and then loud talking again. These were people in their sixties and seventies! ** So I would have to agree with an earlier poster who said that even though the greeting takes place outside the entrance to the church, it contributes to an atmosphere of talk and chatter and takes away from a sense of reverence that should be present while in the church and at mass. **

I think this has less to do with the result of having greeters and more to do with the entire parish as a whole. As you have found on this thread, there are “traditional” parishes which do have “greeters”. I can tell you from experience that with those more traditional parishes who have the greeters, you do not get the chattering atmosphere and lack of reverence. It’s quite the opposite.

From what I’ve observed, it starts with the pastor and other leaders within the parish. They set the decorum for inside the church. When quiet and reverence is expected and encouraged, even if there is talking outside, as soon as the people step inside the church, all talking ceases. I’ve experienced a parish change from a more conservative pastor to a more liberal pastor. This was a neighborhood, city parish that I worked in for about two years where families have been attending mass and the school for generations. So, almost everyone knew each other and they were very friendly, welcoming and lovely people as a whole. They had their social events that were so lovely in terms of real parish community, after mass coffee&donuts (which were well-attended) as well as the typical talking outside of the church prior to mass from the parking lot or while walking to mass from their homes. BUT as soon as they stepped from the vestibule into the church, it was silent and reverent.

When that pastor left and the new, more liberal pastor came in, the entire atmosphere changed. He encouraged talking prior to mass, thinking it “created more community”. He even instituted that “meet and greet” thing when mass began. The place became less about mass and more about a social event which they already had outside of the mass and outside of the church building itself. What I found very interesting, which you touched upon in your post, was that the older people in between their 50s-70s were the most supportive of this kind of change within their parish. And sadly, most people just follow along because they see that the pastor is allowing it, so it must be ok.

So, I think that what you are seeing is more of larger situation with the parish itself and those in charge encouraging that kind of behaviour (either blatantly so or just by actions) rather than the result of just having greeters. But I can see where you could come to that conclusion.

Again, I will state, though, greeters are not particularily necessary, but in certain parish situations, they can be helpful and nice. In situations as you and other people have described, it could also not be so great, but again it really has more to do with the entire dynamic of the parish.

 

[Zea_mays]

i hate them. they foster goodwill and the friendliness of the parish. this is not what mass is about, its about being humble and in fear of our lord.

 

[EasterJoy]

We do go to Mass to worship God first. Yes, we do worship **both **as individuals and as a community, but the purpose of the Mass is not to build the community. The fact of the matter is that the proper place for such interaction is separate from the Mass.

The function of greeters, like the gift of tongues (I cor 14:22), serves those outside the community more than those inside. They are harmful if they are not well trained in etiquette and at least functional in reading body language. The logistics need to be arranged so that the noise entering the nave is minimal. They need not to remain focused on greeting people: not as if they were at Walmart, but in such a way as to help them collect themselves for the Mass.

However, you raise an interesting point, and I agree that there needs to be the community. The problem is that greeters don’t build this community, in part because alienate a significant part of the community (as we see on this thread). The restoration of the Agape meal (beyond donuts and coffee) would go far, but in many places is impractical. The local community used to function around the parish, and to the extent that it can this needs to be recovered.

Is it possible, I wonder, for us to be one with the Church and our separated brethren without first managing a semblance of community in our own parish?

OK. If you’re saying, “I came to Mass to worship with you, not to learn a new handshake or to exchange social smiles or loud greetings that disrupt our mutual attitude of prayer…”, fair enough. I can get behind that way of putting it.

Since the Mass is both the source and summit of Christian life, then of course it is the builder of community, par excellence. But no, not every way one can imagine to build community has its place, let alone its place within the church building, and least of all as we prepare ourselves for Mass.

So you’re saying, “Mass brings us together in the summit of human worship, I think greeters not only don’t help to accomplish that unity of worship in any practical sense, but can and sometimes do harm it, and so I’m not much for greeters”…well, I wouldn’t argue that. Fair enough, in some places, anyway.

I think it is nice to have a public face of the parish as one enters, one that recognizes each person as bearing Christ, one that is a reminder of the solemnity of the gathering. On the practical side, it is nice to have an obvious someone who can show newcomers where the bathroom is or where they should sit if they’re there for the morning’s baptism.

I have to agree with you, though: it is vitally important that greeters understand the ways in which they can add to or detract from the Mass, which is the whole center of not just that gathering, but of our entire Christian lives. They have an extremely important position, one that is better not done at all, than done badly.

If their attitude is welcoming yet solemn and reverent, in recognition of the profound sacredness of the liturgy that is about to begin, they invite people to enter the church solemnly and reverently, and to remember the vital importance of where it is that we meet, in Whose particular presence we are, and what is about to begin. Our world is so distracting, it is so easy to come to church and forget what we’re about, so that kind of greeting would definitely would be a service to the parish and to the Mass.

If their welcoming attitude is casual and unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the momentuousness of the Mass, they invite all who come in to adopt a casual attitude, also unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the importance of the Mass. That does a deep disservice to the Mass. It is better to have no greeters, than to have that.

 

[Sarabande]

One can still have humility and fear/love of God at mass, while as a parish, have “goodwill” and “friendliness”. That can be done with or without greeters. I think many forget that for a long time and even today in smaller communities, a parish was not only the center of prayer and worship of God at mass, but it was also the center of Catholics’ community outside of mass. Their church and parish was everything. I still see this in city parishes, as well as farming parishes - both of which have had problems with being closed down, at least where I’m from, due to shifts in population (within the cities) and lack of priests (in the farming communities). In these places you still witnessed the overwhelming reverence once inside of the church for mass (and even inside the church in general when there there was no mass going on) and then the friendly community which took place outside of the mass.

I find that sometimes the super large parishes with thousands of parishioners have a tendency to not have this kind of natural goodwill and friendly community, so they sometimes try a little too hard to create that community. As a result, it does come off as being too focused on community rather than on the mass, whether or not they mean it to be that way. I agree with what EasterJoy says below and I think it underlines what some of these parishes do wrongly or correctly if they have greeters.

I have to agree with you, though: it is vitally important that greeters understand the ways in which they can add to or detract from the Mass, which is the whole center of not just that gathering, but of our entire Christian lives. They have an extremely important position, one that is better not done at all, than done badly.

If their attitude is welcoming yet solemn and reverent, in recognition of the profound sacredness of the liturgy that is about to begin, they invite people to enter the church solemnly and reverently, and to remember the vital importance of where it is that we meet, in Whose particular presence we are, and what is about to begin. Our world is so distracting, it is so easy to come to church and forget what we’re about, so that kind of greeting would definitely would be a service to the parish and to the Mass.

If their welcoming attitude is casual and unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the momentuousness of the Mass, they invite all who come in to adopt a casual attitude, also unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the importance of the Mass. That does a deep disservice to the Mass. It is better to have no greeters, than to have that.

 

[centurionguard]

OK. If you’re saying, “I came to Mass to worship with you, not to learn a new handshake or to exchange social smiles or loud greetings that disrupt our mutual attitude of prayer…”, fair enough. I can get behind that way of putting it.

Since the Mass is both the source and summit of Christian life, then of course it is the builder of community, par excellence. But no, not every way one can imagine to build community has its place, let alone its place within the church building, and least of all as we prepare ourselves for Mass.

So you’re saying, “Mass brings us together in the summit of human worship, I think greeters not only don’t help to accomplish that unity of worship in any practical sense, but can and sometimes do harm it, and so I’m not much for greeters”…well, I wouldn’t argue that. Fair enough, in some places, anyway.

I think it is nice to have a public face of the parish as one enters, one that recognizes each person as bearing Christ, one that is a reminder of the solemnity of the gathering. On the practical side, it is nice to have an obvious someone who can show newcomers where the bathroom is or where they should sit if they’re there for the morning’s baptism.

I have to agree with you, though: it is vitally important that greeters understand the ways in which they can add to or detract from the Mass, which is the whole center of not just that gathering, but of our entire Christian lives. They have an extremely important position, one that is better not done at all, than done badly.

If their attitude is welcoming yet solemn and reverent, in recognition of the profound sacredness of the liturgy that is about to begin, they invite people to enter the church solemnly and reverently, and to remember the vital importance of where it is that we meet, in Whose particular presence we are, and what is about to begin. Our world is so distracting, it is so easy to come to church and forget what we’re about, so that kind of greeting would definitely would be a service to the parish and to the Mass.

If their welcoming attitude is casual and unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the momentuousness of the Mass, they invite all who come in to adopt a casual attitude, also unconcerned with reverence and oblivious to the importance of the Mass. That does a deep disservice to the Mass. It is better to have no greeters, than to have that.

Thank You for submitting this post Easterjoy;
I agree totally.
One of the better explanations I’ve seen so far in this thread.

 

[puzzleannie]

People who resent receiving a friendly greeting remind me of those feminists who attack any man who tries to hold open a door or give up his seat on the bus for them.

 

[chaunceygardner]

i hate them. they foster goodwill and the friendliness of the parish. this is not what mass is about, its about being humble and in fear of our lord.

Yeah, we don’t want Catholics fostering goodwill and friendliness among people entering the church, do we???

Wow, there are some really negative responses to greeters, including some who try to avoid them! It sounds like those people would prefer to have Mass with just themselves and the Priest, and forget about their neighbors and other parishioners.

In the Catholic churches that I have been to that had greeters (which was most of them), they were polite and welcoming. They opened doors for people, assisted those who might need help, and answered questions. Sometimes they handed out order of worship booklets or missals. In other words, they acted like CHRISTIANS! We should all be “greeters” when we come together to worship.

Christianity, especially the Catholic version, is not just about the individual and God. It is community, it was at the beginning and should always be so. We SHOULD greet one another, make others feel welcome and a part of the parish community, and show that part of our creed is to love one another (and to do that in some very basic ways, like smiling and saying hello to those we meet).

Why would anyone want to belong to a church or parish that wasn’t that way?

Jesus said the greatest commandments were to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Our response to these commandments should be very present whenever the faithful gather together in communal prayer and worship.

 

[tcm22]

Would it be okay if they greeted people in Latin?

 

[sckcd]

I think it’s a wonderful idea. As a newcomer to the Catholic faith, I found it a bit daunting the first few times I went to church. Having other parishoners greet me at the door or hand me a bulletin would have been nice. I also had a few questions that a greeter could have answered. This would be a great thing to help out newcomers. I think it also helps build fellowship and lets people get to know each other a little. No, church isn’t meant to be a social event, but I think it is important to build fellowship with others in your church family, and this is one way it can be done.

 

[Elizabeth502]

Several of the responses are just way excessive relative to the posts they’re responding to.

It’s perfectly acceptable not to particularly feel one “needs” being greeted by strangers at the entrance to the church door, while still acknowledging that others may want or need to feel uplifted. It doesn’t mean one is “unfriendly” or “one of those feminists” if a personal preference is to focus instead on recollecting oneself as one enters church, being guided by the invisible Spirit for the time being, instead of chatting.

Actually, the most friendly (and most liberal) parish near me – which does have greeters – is also the one where the attendees choose to pack the late-night Mass because of its silent reverence. There’s a reminder as one enters to focus one’s whole self toward the action of God. (Yes, the action of God is also in others, for sure, but I think it’s just a sequence that many people prefer to follow with regard to the event itself: the focus on the spiritual exercise of celebration, from which emanates charity toward one’s neighbor and makes that expression especially spiritual.)

JMO!

 

[centurionguard]

People who resent receiving a friendly greeting remind me of those feminists who attack any man who tries to hold open a door or give up his seat on the bus for them.

I certainly don’t approbate resentment towards greeters who offer a friendly greeting gesture.
In fact I will return an acknowledging gesture be it a smile or nod of the head.
If I enter the Church and see other Catholics in contemplative reflection in their pews I will do my outmost not to start an unnecessary conversation that can wait untill after Mass unless it is urgent. Not every existing Catholic Church today has a majestic architecture with an Atrium or foyer at the entrance of the Church separated from the Nave. Some modern Catholic Churches look more like a Protestant Hall than a Church. Not all greeters are stationed away from the Nave. Many catholics would be completely oblivious to starting a conversation before Mass (“inside”) the Church where others are trying to pray.
Why are there Crying Rooms for young children? The answer doesn’t need explanation.
The Church is primarily a house of prayer. My former priest would have gotten ticked to here conversations and excessive noise at the Main Church entrance. Was he an old Pre Vatican II grouch? I don’t think so. On Sunday mornings when I was a sacristan setting up preparations on the Sanctuary my priest would be in a prie-dieu near the front of the Tabernacle just off the sanctuary. Often while arranging set-up on the credence table my parish priest would motion me over in his direction. He often wanted me to go to the back of the church at the main entrance and have the Ushers quiet people from creating a noisy disturbance. Was the priest wrong? Who was I to question his resolve or judge his intentions. After all he was God’s shepherd. I was his servant. Personally i liked his idea of setting a prayful example before others in the Church seeing him for over a half an hour before every Mass praying before the Tabernacle for his parishioners.
These same parishioners who feel the necessity to have Greeters and conversation interupting other parishioners in Gods House of Prayer before Mass, can’t wait to scurry home after Mass in a hurried fashion. I see it all the time.