What my wedding might be like

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BoyGenius said:
Unless I am mistaken (which I could very well be), seems not a rubric of Mass. In my case, I’d rather kneel before the Altar, offer the Litanae Sanctorum. But then again, if I must stand and watch my Bride walk down the Aisle. Then so shall it be
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The rubric calls for the bride and groom to process in the processional or groom can await the bride at the altar.
 
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I had some friends in college who processed in together – it was beautiful and the only time I’ve ever seen it done that way.
 
  1. The bride and groom walk in together in a Catholic wedding as they are giving themselves as a Sacrament to each other. The “giving away of the bride” is not done as the bride is not a piece of property. The priest or deacon also meets the couple by the church door and asks questions like: “Have you come to enter into marriage by free will? Live together until you die etc”. Basically the wedding questions that are repeated in the ceremony. Then they walk in together with the priest or deacon.
  2. Give your bride a rosary made of Mother of Pearl (heart shapes maybe?) beads that she can hold or wrap around her bouquet ahead of time. Mother of Pearl is a stone and has a lovely shine.
  3. Schedule confession time ahead of the ceremony if it is possible. You wouldn’t want people leaving the wedding mass.
 
JanSobieskiIII said:
Personally I’d never want to be in charge of it all lol, just point me where I need to stand and when it’s done hand me a beer 😂
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That was my husband’s attitude as well. He just wanted to get done whatever he was expected to do and not mess it up.
We did meet other husbands-to-be, especially in our pre-Cana class, who wanted to help write the vows and plan stuff. I have to admit being very glad my husband was not that way. The last thing I wanted was some guy poetically wanting to write our vows or choose my dress or do anything other than show up and say “I do” and stick the ring on my hand.
(I had enough trouble dealing with my mother having a meltdown when I wanted to do something different than the way she felt it should be done. )
 
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We did it.

We also greeted the guests before the wedding, which is also in there.

It freaked people out a little— like why was I not hiding from everyone in some back room somewhere?
 
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BoyGenius said:
we can both kneel down before the Altar and still pray the Litanae Sanctorum. She may join, or she may sit. And then I’d have to be left by myself kneeling at the Altar praying with the priests. It’s not to put her in the back and say she is not important. However, I am offering our marriage up to the Communion of saints. Asking them to intercede for us. Which would then be Heavenly and Divine.
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Why can’t you both offer your marriage up together? Why must it be you alone? I’m asking because I see a lot of “I” in your posts, but not a lot of “we”
 
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It is lovely to daydream, but honestly, your wedding is not meant to be a tent revival for non-Catholics and fallen-away Catholics.

Keep the ceremony simple and following the rubrics. Pray the Litany of the Saints, the Rosary, and any other devotions with the wedding party in private before the ceremony.

If you really want to give your guests a taste of the beauty of the Church and the faith, have beautiful music and allow the rite of marriage to stand on its own merit. It doesn’t need you to add a bunch of other stuff to it.

And you could always offer small booklets about the faith as gifts to your guests at the reception if you feel called to more direct evangelization.
 
DeniseNY said:
Why can’t you both offer your marriage up together? Why must it be you alone? I’m asking because I see a lot of “I” in your posts, but not a lot of “we”
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On the first part “why can’t you offer…” For that, I mean if she chose not to want to pray the Litany of the Saints. I would still do it. But if she wanted to join and do so together, then the better.

Like in marriage, where sometimes one spouse is carrying the weight sometimes. The one spouse carries on. And keeps going. There will be times where marriage will work that way. You may end up carrying all the weight. And not giving up. That’s the real genius in prayer and devotion. So let’s say my wife was tired and exhausted from work during the week. Or she just got tired of Mass. Or our bills are high. Or someone dies. Or her mother or father had cancer. And say a bunch of things hit us. And that made going to Mass on Sunday so disfavorably. And that doesn’t mean it will be my wife who ends up melancholy and not wanting to go to Mass. That could also be me. Or perhaps both. Well, one of us will have to carry the weight in attending Mass. Suppose we had a really big/bad argument? And it happened just on Sunday. Before going to Mass. Say we were stressed about something? I was right, and she was in the wrong? (Well, truthfully we both think we’re in the right. And I could actually be wrong, objectively. Something like that.) And so that argument prevented us taking our children to Mass (hint, hint, the real victims of our monstrosity.)

Well, as all things human go. One of us, hopefully, will end up going to Confession either on Sunday, or during the week. And make Amends.

That, one of us will have to lead the other. Just by being faithful. Our hearts should be with Christ and His Church, the Communion of Saints, the Holy Family. And that is key. We should not be focused on each other in that way. But the Cross, the Crucifx, where Christ died. He was later buried, and rose from the dead. Defeating death once and for all.

So yeah, hopefully our Wedding may be blessed/graced with certain caveats along the way to hint what our actual married life will be like. So the best wedding would be one that will run the test of what it will be like for us. And that may help us as a Cross, and a beautiful reference/reflection throughout our whole life. I hope.
 
HeDa said:
  • The bride and groom walk in together in a Catholic wedding as they are giving themselves as a Sacrament to each other. The “giving away of the bride” is not done as the bride is not a piece of property. The priest or deacon also meets the couple by the church door and asks questions like: “Have you come to enter into marriage by free will? Live together until you die etc”. Basically the wedding questions that are repeated in the ceremony. Then they walk in together with the priest or deacon.
  • Give your bride a rosary made of Mother of Pearl (heart shapes maybe?) beads that she can hold or wrap around her bouquet ahead of time. Mother of Pearl is a stone and has a lovely shine.
  • Schedule confession time ahead of the ceremony if it is possible. You wouldn’t want people leaving the wedding mass.
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Good points. I like the Rosary gift. I didn’t even think about that. Thank you.
 
StRaphaelPray4Us said:
I didn’t read through all the posts to see what rite of the Catholic Church you belong to, but I would highly recommend you find a current book or guideline as to what is the norm for your particular rite’s celebration of marriage before you plan any further. It’s nice to dream, but believe me, I’ve had more than a few brides and grooms who came in with their own ideas (and wanting to write their own vows) and they were more than disappointed to find out that the Catholic Church has very specific guidelines on what may occur (and NOT occur) within a wedding liturgy. Each parish will have even more specifics as to what is considered appropriate music, decorations, and definitely scheduling and access times to church
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Roman Rite.

So from the above idea’s I have can you point to specifics where they go wrong? And how they are abuses? A

But in all honestly, leave it up into God’s hands. I can do my best, and God can take care of the rest. I borrow that from I believe a Bishop who has that quote on his desk. Or somewhere in his office.

In truth, prayer, at least from what I understand, have observed, and nonetheless have heard time and time again on Catholic Radio, doesn’t abuse the liturgy or any of the norms of the Mass. But rather extends from it.

Having the Litanae of the Saints, I believe has room in the Mass. And perhaps the Rosary, Divine Chaplet of Mercy, and the Novena to the Nine Choirs of Angels might not really be permissible during the Mass. Nonetheless can have their integral function. Before or After. Which still means they extend. I am sure the priest knows my ambitions, my heart, and can clear up any of the caveats he finds. In other worse, within the rules/construct of the Mass, not to detract from the foundation/basis, he can lead me.
 
Seriously, I think you need to spend more time growing into the man of God He is calling you to be. You need to be spending time with your feet on the ground, with your hands in service, and with your head out of the clouds.

You said you don’t even have a girlfriend at this time?

Stop daydreaming about a wedding that may or may not ever happen, and spend your energy on something that actually makes a difference in the world in the here and now. And definitely spend your time and energy becoming the sort of man that a woman will want to marry.

Daydreams can be sweet, but they don’t protect a family or provide for them.
 
StRaphaelPray4Us said:
This is the rite of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church. Your priest will let you know what you can vary slightly on, but don’t expect to be adding things into the liturgy and remember, when it comes to weddings, the liturgy starts with the processional and ends with the recessional. Any additional prayers and devotions are best done prior to the entrance of the attendants or seating of the parents or after the newly-married couple and their wedding party have recessed back down the aisle, or prior to arrival of guests or have it done after the rehearsal.
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Thank you.

Awesome resource. Definitely clears a lot for me.

But want to ask on this part:

"After you state your intentions, the presider will ask you to join your right hands. In many cultures, the right hand is used when taking oaths or pledges. A handshake with the right hand confirms agreements. Joining right hands places partners in the position of looking right into each other’s eyes—a most appropriate posture for publicly declaring their “consent before God and his Church.”

Would I/she be permitted during this handshaking to have a Rosary wrapped around our hands and fingers, and the Crucifix placed at the end of it between hands and thumbs?
 
Here’s my prediction - the Priest will guide and advise you to do it the same way he does everyone else’s ceremony.

He’s a Priest, not a choreographer…
 
Gertabelle said:
Stop daydreaming about a wedding that may or may not ever happen, and spend your energy on something that actually makes a difference in the world in the here and now. And definitely spend your time and energy becoming the sort of man that a woman will want to marry.
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But Mary sat at the feet of Christ (i.e. Magdalene) and chose the better. Was she daydreaming, head in the clouds?
 
I’d tell you the same thing I’d tell a bride who has lost sight of the big picture. If it is your vocation to marry, you are preparing for a lifelong marriage not a wedding day. Daydreaming is fun, but it could turn out almost nothing like you wanted. You need to be ok with that because all that matters is you found your person, sacramentally married them and can begin your life together. It doesn’t get much better than that! Except…that it does!
 
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