What my wedding might be like

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Idk about that, I still have some growing up in some areas before I’m truly ready

Right now I’m in that dating hiatus stage where I’m focusing on my career and myself
 
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SacredHeartBassist said:
Idk about that, I still have some growing up in some areas before I’m truly ready

Right now I’m in that dating hiatus stage where I’m focusing on my career and myself
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Seems like a great way to prepare for marriage. Your future wife will be glad you took the time to grow this way.
 
I just graduated and I’m studying for the Florida bar. I don’t have time to date for a few years and I’m okay with that. I didn’t work this hard to not build up my career. My dating life will be on hold for a few years and that’s okay

Yeah I don’t see how anything I said implies that I live to work instead of working to live. For right now I care more about my career than my dating life. If I never marry then so be it. Would rather be single than with the wrong person. And at this point in my life I’m not willing to look for anyone. I can’t devote the time I’d like to anyway

Besides dating sucks anyway. I’ve never met the right person yet. Dunno if I ever will and I’m not too encouraged to go looking just to get rejected and have my self esteem tank any lower
 
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I don’t know. It’s not guaranteed that I’ll even find someone. As a man I think I gotta put myself out there and try to meet new women and ask them out on dates. I haven’t done that in three years and it’s not looking like I’m gonna do that in the next three either
 
Just an update, I don’t think I will be getting married.

There’s way too much abuse, trauma, and turmoil in my life. My ambitions, dreams, and desires for marriage. The kinda girls I like. And want marry, are just not gonna happen.

I just really will be hopefully hoping and praying until my life expires apparently when God calls me to Him. I hope it’s not too long kind of a torturous life.

Possibly if by a miracle He would like me to go to a monastery and live a contemplative life in prayer. Just a simple life and wait until my final breath. I pray I may go to Heaven. And before then, he may lead me by the love of Marty, Jesus, and Joseph, and know I am loved. So I don’t have to think or wonder about the torturous life of marriage of my ambitions, which I am not able to have nor bear.
 
BoyGenius, I don’t know how old you are, but you sound young. You have no idea what lies ahead. You do not need to make any announcements about where your life may or may not go because you really don’t know. Things happen, people change, life moves along in ways we never expect. Keep close to God, follow his way and trust that he will lead you where he wants you to be.
 
BoyGenius. Your last post is a little alarming and sits heavy on my heart. You seem to have taken a suddenly dark turn. I’m sorry you have experienced so much trauma. Please find someone to talk to either professionally or a priest.

Life is worth living! Your wedding plans reflected a love of the faith and desire to bring many people to it. God has some plan for you that you need to discern, here again talking to a priest will be helpful.

I’m not sure what you mean about the kind of girl you like isn’t going to happen. You need not worry about that. If marriage is your vocation then God has a girl for you. Whatever kind of girl you think you like or think is your type will pale in comparison to the person God has waiting for you. If your vocation is to marriage then she is out there right now, waiting to turn all your notions upside down and make you the happiest man alive.

The best thing you can do because you don’t know how long it will be until God wills you to meet, is to get help for what is troubling you. This way when it is time for you to give the gift of yourself to another you have dealt with your past hurts appropriotely as much as is possible and you know what you are giving.
 
Those peaks in your modd, dear OP, worried me. This change from sky high dreaming to deep depressed, as it sounds in your posts. I would take this to someone you trust, your priest/parents/a counselor, this is a way too much emotion for something that isn´t even existent.
 
Hey,

My wishful thinking and dreaming can be mistaken with prayer and discernment. My highs and lows have happened before. Especially crushes on girls in the past.

My dreams and ideas of marriage, and trying to bring them in prayer, got derailed on some brokenness about myself.

But let me share the wounds of my past for other children out there who do or will suffer. A child’s life comes into the sense of security and being loved. That’s where their hopes and dreams come from. Kids at an early age begin to make believe, having adventures, like cops and robbers. This is something the Englishman G.K. Chesterton wrote of his own life.

But when men and women divorce, abuse children, neglect them, or introduce them in life as a bi-product as something like an affair, a one night stand, or any other plethora of careless actions. Their hopes, are destroyed. Their ambitions follow from mainly how adults are, and what world they bring to the child’s doorstep, so-to_soeak. Some children, even through the turmoil, will still continue to have make believe play, and have adventures. And so they are at least kept up lifted in that realm. But some or many, are ruined by far more by the adulterated world. And jeopardizes their whole life through. In truth it’s not so much to that the child’s mind and psyche is damaged as one would say a mental illness, but one of the heart. Where the ambitions of hopes and dreams, and the desire of love stem from.

As a side note, Inhave reached out to a psychologist.
 
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BoyGenius said:
But when men and women divorce, abuse children, neglect them, or introduce them in life as a bi-product as something like an affair, a one night stand, or any other plethora of careless actions. Their hopes, are destroyed. Their ambitions follow from mainly how adults are, and what world they bring to the child’s doorstep, so-to_soeak. Some children, even through the turmoil, will still continue to have make believe play, and have adventures. And so they are at least kept up lifted in that realm. But some or many, are ruined by far more by the adulterated world. And jeopardizes their whole life through. In truth it’s not so much to that the child’s mind and psyche is damaged as one would say a mental illness, but one of the heart. Where the ambitions of hopes and dreams, and the desire of love stem from.

As a side note, Inhave reached out to a psychologist.
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I am glad you have reached out for professional help.

Many of us have really, really, really messed up childhoods. I know I did.

And yeah, it absolutely damages the heart. But that doesn’t mean we have to live our whole lives with the label “damaged” hanging around our necks.

By God’s grace, we can move forward and live full, rich, beautiful lives. We can love and be loved. We can serve others. We can grow in holiness. We can be people who are filled with the joy of being treasured by God.

There is hope. Seek and get the help you need to move forward.
 
I so wanted to process in with my (now) husband. Alas, my dad (not Catholic) freaked out the day before the wedding, and in the interest of maintaining family peace I changed things and had him escort me down the aisle. I wish DH and I could’ve processed in together, and I do think more priests ought to encourage that. It’s really beautiful when couples do that.
 
HeDa said:
  1. The bride and groom walk in together in a Catholic wedding as they are giving themselves as a Sacrament to each other. The “giving away of the bride” is not done as the bride is not a piece of property. The priest or deacon also meets the couple by the church door and asks questions like: “Have you come to enter into marriage by free will? Live together until you die etc”. Basically the wedding questions that are repeated in the ceremony. Then they walk in together with the priest or deacon.
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I’ve never seen it done this way.
 
When we got married, all my wife and I did was pick readings from an approved list and pick music. Aside from that, we did what we were instructed to do by the priest.

All the Catholic weddings I’ve been to, in all the different churches – they’ve all been done “wrong?”

I don’t think so.
 
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