Hi Drifting,
It certainly doesn’t seem to me that a loving God takes an interest in the world either. I saw a little baby girl on TV born without a rectum. Her whole life she will use a bag to go to the tiolet. The bag is piped into her. She can’t eat solid food either. This is just one tiny example of what is supposedly God’s will.
Maybe she will grow up and decide not to believe in the ‘truth’ as taught by the Christian religion. In this case some christians say she will then go to hell for all eternity.
I think religion is ok if it gives you comfort, but if it torments you (and it is tormenting you, just like it tormented me) then it is time to leave it. This is never easy mostly due to childhood fears (intentionally placed there by well meaning people with the same fears they’re on this board en masse)
Most people adopt the religion of their parents, I certainly did.
Think about the sort of being who could create a universe like this, in terms of intelligence and power. Then ask why would such a creatue be so interested in whether I believe in him or not? Is he that insecure, that he would punish you in hell for all eternity for making a decision your brain predisposed you to make?
Why would this be so important to such a being?
I think the explanation is that without this belief as the overriding factor, the religion would die off this is why it is drummed into us. Like a virus it must be passed from one to another and this is how it works.
You need to look at the current scientific state of brain research, consousness is in the brian 100%. It is hard to accept, but you will not survive your death. If you can accept that the world is unfair (that’s evident) and that you will die, then you can move beyond daydreams and live life as it really is.
These fears are very strong, statistically it’s unlikely that you make it, but I promise if you do, it will be such a relief, it was for me!
You’re asking the right questions. Keep trying.