What should I do?

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abelin said:
seduce?
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She is trying to lure you into thinking of her as a mother figure, so she can take your mother’s place. She is trying to win affection that belongs to your mother. She covets what your mother has, and wants to have it for herself. That is so wrong…has she tried to get in with the dog and the neighbors, too? The woman is a liar and a thief. She is thinking of what she wants for herself, and does not care how it will hurt your mother, or you, for that matter. Do not trust her.
 
abelin said:
seduce?
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Not necessarily sexually, but make you like her for her own purposes, which is to get you on her side.

Look, you have exams going on. What you need to do now is NOT tell your mother, talk to a priest as sson as you can, *get off the internet and study for your exams. *

You have done what you need to do for now. Pray that your father does the right thing, and ask God to give you peace for now so you can study. Leave the situation in God’s hands for now.
 
abelin said:
Im pathetic
I want to believe so bad that she does when i know shes ruining my life
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It’s your father as well, don’t just blame her. But don’t be sympathetic to her either.

And yes, get some rest. Your exams are important to YOUR future.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
It’s your father as well, don’t just blame her. But don’t be sympathetic to her either…
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The idea is not that you ought to hate her, nor your dad. They have gotten themselves into an awful position, and of course you might feel for them. The idea is that we want you to be on guard that they do not twist the truth about what they are doing. Do not let them try to forge a relationship between you and the lover that is based on the lie that what she is doing to your mother is remotely tolerable. It doesn’t matter that they’ve twisted it in their own minds…we are not here to judge their hearts. That’s not the idea. The idea is to defend the truth, and the truth is that they are committing a grave offense against your mother, against you, and against God. You do not have the moral authority to permit it. That offense must stop. Period.

Have nothing to do with her, nor her solicitations for your affection. If she wants to get “in” with you, let her know that the way to do that is to quit having an affair with your father. If she won’t do that, you have no basis to tolerate her presence. You’re not taking sides. You’re standing with the truth, and the truth is that your father is a married man.
 
abelin said:
I know she wants my father destroying everything else in the process but she kinda has a maternal instinct towards me. She acts like a semi mother to me I’ve just sent my sister an email myabe she’ll hold more sway
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I hate being fished but I have to bite…you have a sister??? This is new info. I assume since your emailing her she’s not at home and must be older. Why haven’t we heard of her till just recently and why haven’t you talked with her about this? Is she close with your mom or is she as indifferent as you seem to be. We’ve heard so much of “the love of his life” and so little about the woman who’s been a true mother to you for 16 years.This is the woman you want to be more like then a mistress. If your buying her load of **** your not mature enough to be involved in this at all and your wasting the time of people who are trying to give advice.

I’m 99% convinced that this whole thing is fiction and I’m praying it is but on the 1% chance your just that naive, I’ll also be praying for you and your mother. Your father and his “sweetie” are on their own. If your for real and don’t get to a priest, listen to** Easter Joy** and TheRealJuliane. If not, I suggest a career in fishing but at the very least, see if you can sell the movie rights.

R1ch4rd…has left the building: :sad_bye:
 
I should not have said “hate” I misspoke. But a normal response to all of this would be intense anger and a feeling of betrayal.

Having said that I hope he is in bed by now. I used to teach in the UK and I think he should be very nearly finished with his exams.

And I have got to admit, this seems like a great year11 prank. Forgive me if its all true. But I’ve taught loads of boys who would think this was “wicked!”

Either way, I pray to St. Michael to watch over him. He has some battles in his future…
 
abelin said:
I know she wants my father destroying everything else in the process but she kinda has a maternal instinct towards me. I’ve just sent my sister an email myabe she’ll hold more sway
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You said she has a maternal instinct towards you just because she buys you a drink or drives you from one location to the next. That’s it? Those are actions a pedophile or a stalker does to lure their victims in a false sense of love. Unlike your mother, she hasn’t sacrificed anything; she hasn’t sacrificed her whole life to raise you up and she simply doesn’t care about your own happiness. Don’t you care for your mother? Of course you do so why support a woman who only wants your dad for lust and who wants to bring your real mother out of your OWN life. Does she cook for you or take care of you like your mother did? Does she even care about your happiness because she clearly does not.

Screw her dude. She isn’t a good person, nor is she fit to take your mother’s place. At all. Ever.Listen to what Easterjoy and the others are telling you. Don’t let your father or his ‘girlfriend’ manipulate you. They’re not offering you happiness but a false sense of life in picture frames. I’ve had enough people in my life manipulating me emotionally and I can recognize their tricks from a mile away nowadays and this is a case of that.
 
abelin said:
She calls me sweetie and darling sometimes and tries to treat me like her son
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So do stalkers, abusive parents when they are in front of friends, pedophiles, etc… call people sweetie.

Bud, you’re afraid that you’ll hurt this adulterous woman’s feelings yet you’re not hurting her feelings really, you’re going against something wrong and doing the right thing. If I were in your place and confronted her and if she were to start crying hysterically and about how I am being mean to her over her ‘forbidden love’ I’d tell her to cut the **** and point out the fact that she is still destroying my family and no crying or emotional manipulation is going to work on me because by defending my own mother and the integrity of marriage, by defending somebody from being manipulated and played for a sucker is not being selfish.
 
abelin said:
I;m trying to find justifications for evasion
i need to man up
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Here’s a little slice of mom guilt, 'cause I am a mom.

Your mother carried you for 9 mos. in her womb. She grew you with nutrition from what she ate. She sheltered you within her until you were ready to be born. And she has taken care of you from before you were born and she still is, and THIS is how you treat her?

You are cheating on your mother by even thinking of your father’s chippy as being nice to you because she bought you a drink and gave you a ride. You’re doing what you father is doing but without the sex. Shameful.

:tsktsk::dts:
 
TheRealJuliane said:
…You’re doing what you father is doing but without the sex. Shameful.

:tsktsk::dts:
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He did not realize that, though. It’s not as if it is an automatic betrayal of your mother when some friend of your parents tries to get you to like them. He didn’t ask to be put in this position, either.

(Boy, do I hope the OP is pulling our leg. What an awful situation.)
 
EasterJoy said:
He did not realize that, though. It’s not as if it is an automatic betrayal of your mother when some friend of your parents tries to get you to like them. He didn’t ask to be put in this position, either.

(Boy, do I hope the OP is pulling our leg. What an awful situation.)
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I know, right? This is the first thread that I’ve actually HOPED was created by a troll.

😦
 
How did she take it?

Please offer her support to the extent you are able to. I know how difficult this is, been there myself.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
How did she take it?

Please offer her support to the extent you are able to. I know how difficult this is, been there myself.
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I told her that my dad had been seeing someone else but without all the details and she invariably took it quite badly and stormed out of the house
 
I’ll pray for you and your mother. I’m so sorry you are going through this, it is so awful. Just be strong, pray, and don’t let yourself be manipulated.
 
I would echo what other posters here have said as well - go see a priest. Not just for advice, but support. Pray often for everyone involved.

Your family has a rocky road ahead, but you did the right thing. It showed good judgement to tell your mother your father was seeing someone, but not the details. She may think she wants them, but they will only hurt her unnecessarily. The only details I would show her are those that prove what you’ve said, in case your father tries to say you made this up.

I’m praying for you and your family.
 
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