What to do when you feel rebellion in your soul against the reality of your vocation

[pianistclare]

And I think you (and some others) are missing the point that it is useless to repeatedly bring up things that are not helpful. Between hiring things out and suggesting she stop schooling her kids, not much else is being suggested. Yet those are things she has stated she isn’t interested in doing.

LOTS of things are being suggested.
Have you not read any of the posts from some of the longtime posting mothers here?
Most notably there was a beautiful post about prayer.

When people ask for help but refuse to even consider other options, I don’t know how much more helpful one can get.
Who said she shouldn’t homeschool? I think I gave a great example of a woman with 9 kids who very successfully homeschools at our parish.
But encouraging her to not change a thing, and continue to be really stressed doesn’t help either, BTW. She’s asking for help, not someone to say
“Don’t change a thing! Be frustrated and exhausted!”
:nope:

I’m out.

 

[EasterJoy]

Um…okay…examples of my selfishness…

Spending time here at CAF when someone is trying to talk to me or I should be doing some work.

Reading a favorite newspaper for longer than I really can spare.

Feeling put out and upset by ANOTHER dirty diaper or ANOTHER middle of the night feeding.

Losing my patience and raising my voice at my children and deciding not to use a healthier way to address their mistake or misbehavior.

Getting seriously annoyed by stuff being left out and grousing and trumping about it instead of calmly asking for it to be picked up.

I’d say that if your life is crazy busy, unscheduled time on the internet is probably the first thing that needs to go. Even the good sites are time-suckers par excellence. Consider restricting that to down-time on Sundays. Get your news from the radio or download podcasts and listen to them on one of those little mp3 players while you work. When you have time to sit down, look for something that gives your brain something more high-quality, like a phone call to a friend–maybe another homeschooling mom?–journaling, relaxing-in-the-arms-of-God prayer, or closing your eyes and listening to music. CAF has a lot going for it, but keyboarding and netsurfing isn’t really quality re-charge time. If you’re going to watch something “worthless,” do it all cuddled up with your sweetie (or one of your sweeties…)

Your impatience reminds me of a quip by Phyllis Diller: Cleaning your house when you have kids at home is like shoveling the sidewalk while it is still snowing. The goal isn’t to have things perfect. The goal is to keep from being buried. As my sister put it: Clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy. Face it: You have to choose between serenity and having everything in place the way you want. What’s it going to be?

We get angry at having our expectations violated. Yes, you need to accept that you have chosen a life that will include a certain amount of chaos. You also need to expect, however, that you are pushing yourself too hard and you are not going to have a Mary Poppins attitude all of the time. Yes, virtue is the goal all of the time, you are happier when you are more saintly, but when you fail, just as when your children fail, the attitude needs to be* mercy*. You need to include yourself in your house of mercy. The sloppiness and the chaos will clear up as the children get older. It will be the mercy that they remember. If you want to have mercy to give them, start by being merciful to yourself. If you want to be kind to them, start with some kindness for yourself.

You are doing something really hard. Even if you take great care of yourself, you are going to get tired of changing yet another diaper. You’re going to get tired of doing work that needs to be done all over again twice before the day is over–even weeding your garden lasts longer than cooking and doing dishes! Good grief, everyone I know felt like having a party when their youngest child was finally toilet trained!! Everyone I know loved it when their children learned to push the vacuum cleaner and could cook themselves some meals. Everyone marvels (and not in a good way) at how much work it takes to feed a big family and how fast the food just…*disappears!! * This is why women take up quilting, after all: after all that work, they have something to enjoy for a lifetime.

Mercy, mercy, mercy–have mercy on yourself!! Our Lord fell along the Way of the Cross, and His Passion still counted as a Perfect Sacrifice. A perfect sacrifice isn’t a sacrifice that never brings you to your knees.

Oh, and I had this on my bathroom mirror, too, in great big print
If the LORD were not my help,
I would long have been silent in the grave.
When I say, “My foot is slipping,”
your mercy, LORD, holds me up.
When cares increase within me,
your comfort gives me joy.
Psalm 94:17-19

Make sure you don’t have anemia, and get ready for your doctor to take one look at you and tell you that something has to give! You can do it!

 

[jmjZelie]

LOTS of things are being suggested.
Have you not read any of the posts from some of the longtime posting mothers here?
Most notably there was a beautiful post about prayer.

When people ask for help but refuse to even consider other options, I don’t know how much more helpful one can get.
Who said she shouldn’t homeschool? I think I gave a great example of a woman with 9 kids who very successfully homeschools at our parish.
But encouraging her to not change a thing, and continue to be really stressed doesn’t help either, BTW. She’s asking for help, not someone to say
“Don’t change a thing! Be frustrated and exhausted!”
:nope:

I’m out.

I haven’t refused to consider other options. I have been reading as much as I can, but much of it is on the fly and I only have a few moments to answer some questions. I think it is unfair to assume I am dismissing everything.

 

[Xantippe]

I haven’t refused to consider other options. I have been reading as much as I can, but much of it is on the fly and I only have a few moments to answer some questions. I think it is unfair to assume I am dismissing everything.

That comment from pianistclare was addressed to bitterhope, not you.

bitterhope had told pianistclare: “And I think you (and some others) are missing the point that it is useless to repeatedly bring up things that are not helpful. Between hiring things out and suggesting she stop schooling her kids, not much else is being suggested. Yet those are things she has stated she isn’t interested in doing.”

 

[jmjZelie]

I never expected this thread to be more than two or three responses. I see there has been some consternation and hurt feelings, and I am sorry for that, truly.

I think God gave me my answer today. After all of the checking and trying to read and respond today, my kindergartener came to me with a book from our collection that we had never read before. It was about a saint named Elizabeth Ann Seton. It was a children’s book that starts the story in Elizabeth’s childhood and follows her through her life and chronicles her growth in holiness. My kindergartener begged me with puppy dog eyes to promise to read it to her at bedtime. I told her that we would have to set aside the Rosary for the evening if she wanted me to read that book (this child loves to lead us in the first decade so it was a big deal for her). I didn’t know much about the saint before I read her the storybook tonight.

Well.

Let me just say that now I know what God wants of me and how He intends for me to accomplish it.
“In our daily work we must do the will of God; in the way He wills it, and because He wills it.”
-St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, who had two great devotions to God: doing God’s will and loving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and His Blessed Mother.

She also was a mother of five, a convert to the Catholic Faith in her 30s, and a mother and teacher. (like me!)

 

[jmjZelie]

I understand and know right where you are. I am there 99% of the time.

I love my family and want to serve them joyfully. I want my household to run smoothly and be well-organized. I want us to be able to squeeze every moment out of every day and enjoy every single second of it. I don’t want a life of regrets. But what I want does not equate to reality most of the time.

In reality, the more I keep striving for the “ideal” or this vision of how my life should look, the more pressure and stress I put on myself and I find myself shutting down and wanting to retreat from life by noon every day. Then I feel selfish for needing down time and then comes the guilt. The cycle repeats itself every day.

It’s okay to need “me time” frequently. Don’t feel bad about that. You aren’t being selfish for feeling that way. Remember, there is a reason that the airline attendant instructs passengers to put on their own breathing mask before helping someone else with theirs.

Everything you say here is true. Perhaps I need to be very careful how I spend that me time, but it must be a nonnegotiable part of my day.

 

[jmjZelie]

I also want to respond to a couple points that were raised earlier. I am not trying to be supermom. I am not Pinterest mom. We have downsized our lifestyle to about 1200sqft for all of us, so that it actually is possible to keep up on cleaning and tidying. My mental and emotional wellbeing starts to suffer if my house is messy or dirty. I do not decorate my home with anything other than pictures of our family and holy art. Everything else is very spartan.

Cleanliness is not a negotiable issue. If we do not keep our house vacuumed up and wiped down and trash taken out every single evening, we get ants. So every surface has to be totally cleared and cleaned before bed. But God has used this reality of the region of the country where we live to make everyone else in my family see just how important it is to pitch in and keep things spic and span (which coincidentally enough is what i need to feel peaceful in my home).

I have narrowed down my focus to three essential ongoing duties: meeting my children’s basic needs, handling the homeschool effort, and keeping the house clean and tidy. I get help in these areas, to be sure, but if those areas are not being sufficiently attended to, then everything else gets put on hold. Now, after this thread, I see that my physical needs probably need more attention, because that is always the thing that is the hardest to prioritize.

 

[Xantippe]

I have narrowed down my focus to three essential ongoing duties: meeting my children’s basic needs, handling the homeschool effort, and keeping the house clean and tidy. I get help in these areas, to be sure, but if those areas are not being sufficiently attended to, then everything else gets put on hold. Now, after this thread, I see that my physical needs probably need more attention, because that is always the thing that is the hardest to prioritize.

That sounds good.

 

[jmjZelie]

Just to start: I am a fresh-out-of-university Nurse. I worked with caregiver burden (mostly of caregiver for elderly people, but the burden is all the same), doing actual field research on the subject, so I am speaking here with a bit of experience.

I put in bold everything you said that **indicates ** a risk for stress, burnout, or caregiver burden. I don’t know you, so I am going by what you say.

I can’t say much from here, but it seem you are truly burnt out.

From the little experience I have as a nurse… that is rather common. You are doing something you love and want to do, but** at a pace that is tiring you** much too quickly.

I’d suggest some free time for you. You are allowed time away from your family to calm down your nerves and, in fact, you may actually need it.

Most people who work, even on jobs they love, go out on vacation every once in a while, because they know they need to rest, take their minds away from all their worries. Your body and mind need to rest, I can’t stress this out well enough, preferably before any problems comes up. In your case, the symptoms of exhaustion are already poking at you.

I work with nurses and caregivers (for elderly people). One thing I found out that is indispensable for a person to provide care: YOU need to be healthy. A stressed nurse can commit deadly mistakes. An ill caregiver cannot provide for the person under their care. A stressed mother may soon get depressed not knowing why.

A mother shouldn’t be stressed, and that is what you are.

Stress is not hating your children, or being sad with your life. No. Stress is being overworked, worried, unrest, even if it is by doing something you love doing.

I know you love what you do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be asking for help.** You love your children, you just need to love yourself a bit more.**

Look at it this way: if you get sick (and you will if the stress persists for too long), who will take care of your kids? Your husband will have to take care of you AND of the children, while also working. By denying yourself rest, you are only going to hurt your family more than a simple day-off would.

Unwind. Take a weekday for you, every week if possible. Better yet, set aside a moment of the day just for you. Get someone to take care of the kids for one or two hours, because you need it. Order takeout, just for a day, so you don’t have to cook dinner. You don’t need to do it all the time, but once in a while, to reduce your burden for a time…

Get the kids to do something calming with you, like watching a movie at home. Or give them an afternoon nap-time - it’s what most day cares do, because they know the professionals working for them can’t be working on 120% all the time.

You need to rest. Don’t hurt yourself more, just because you may be unwilling of admitting you are already hurt. You said you are exhausted. You said you are burnt out. You said you are weepy. YOU NEED TO REST. :stretcher:

My experience is little, I know, but I am confident of what I am saying. Please, please, please! Take care of yourself. You won’t be able to take care and love your family if (and when) something worse comes out of this stress.

The Bible says: love your neighbour as you love yourself. From what I can see, you are not loving yourself well enough to love someone else just yet.

(I recommend reading: catholichow.wordpress.com/2014/03/06/embracing-humility-by-learning-to-love-yourself/

Sincerely, from one nurse to another

PS: If you need to talk, I am available. Can’t say I have much to offer, but sometimes, all you need is to talk

What a kind post. Thank you and I am taking your advice seriously.

 

[Jelrak_TB]

I am not sure why it seems like I was asking for advice about whether or not to homeschool my children. I would not open up such a crucial parenting decision to the opinion of strangers who do not know my family. My husband and I are in accord, and he agrees with me that this is God’s will for us.

I don’t recall ever stating that homeschooling is a decidedly Catholic thing, either. It is odd how this thread has veered off in directions I did not expect.

The situation would be the same if I was not homeschooling, but instead had some other reasons for every moment of my day being accounted for, such as caring for ailing and elderly parents, running an in-home daycare for an income, taking care of special needs or chronically ill children.

FWIW, my husband is going through the same. He rises at 5, works from 6-3, comes home and teaches a subject for our school age kids, facilitates outdoor play, helps with dinner, bath, cleaning and bedtime routines. He rarely gets to sleep before 10. The only difference for him is that he doesn’t have to nurse the baby and can usually sleep through the night. I doubt anyone here would tell him to reevaluate how much he is serving his family so he could have more time for himself. No, instead the advice would be more like “strive manfully” and “lay down your life” and “die to the old self and put on the new self”. And perhaps there would be a few men with similar experiences who could attest to the fact that the old self does in fact die.

Oh most certainly it might die…yet at some point one still might become exhausted…and exhaustion could lead to a longing for the former self…which might be more easily avoidable by ensuring that one’s burdens are within reason…for does not even the greatest athlete require rest between matches?

 

[EasterJoy]

I also want to respond to a couple points that were raised earlier. I am not trying to be supermom. I am not Pinterest mom. We have downsized our lifestyle to about 1200sqft for all of us, so that it actually is possible to keep up on cleaning and tidying. My mental and emotional wellbeing starts to suffer if my house is messy or dirty. I do not decorate my home with anything other than pictures of our family and holy art. Everything else is very spartan.

Cleanliness is not a negotiable issue. If we do not keep our house vacuumed up and wiped down and trash taken out every single evening, we get ants. So every surface has to be totally cleared and cleaned before bed. But God has used this reality of the region of the country where we live to make everyone else in my family see just how important it is to pitch in and keep things spic and span (which coincidentally enough is what i need to feel peaceful in my home).

I have narrowed down my focus to three essential ongoing duties: meeting my children’s basic needs, handling the homeschool effort, and keeping the house clean and tidy. I get help in these areas, to be sure, but if those areas are not being sufficiently attended to, then everything else gets put on hold. Now, after this thread, I see that my physical needs probably need more attention, because that is always the thing that is the hardest to prioritize.

Notice that even Our Lord had to keep at it to get this priority met, because his heart went out to those who came to him. He did keep at it, though!

*The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught.

He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place. People saw them leaving and many came to know about it. They hastened there on foot from all the towns and arrived at the place before them.

When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd, his heart was moved with pity for them, for they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. By now it was already late and his disciples approached him and said, “This is a deserted place and it is already very late. Dismiss them so that they can go to the surrounding farms and villages and buy themselves something to eat.” He said to them in reply, “Give them some food yourselves.” But they said to him, “Are we to buy two hundred days’ wages worth of food and give it to them to eat?” He asked them, “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.” And when they had found out they said, “Five loaves and two fish.” So he gave orders to have them sit down in groups on the green grass. The people took their places in rows by hundreds and by fifties. Then, taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to (his) disciples to set before the people; he also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied. And they picked up twelve wicker baskets full of fragments and what was left of the fish. Those who ate (of the loaves) were five thousand men.

Then he made his disciples get into the boat and precede him to the other side toward Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. And when he had taken leave of them, he went off to the mountain to pray.

When it was evening, the boat was far out on the sea and he was alone on shore. Then he saw that they were tossed about while rowing, for the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea. He meant to pass by them. But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out. They had all seen him and were terrified. But at once he spoke with them, “Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!” He got into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were (completely) astounded*.
Mark 6:30-51

He also knew what he was going to do when he asked his followers about doing what they considered impossible. In Matthew, too, when he saw the crowds and had compassion on them, he instructed them to pray for laborers for the harvest. When you are exhausted, remember the Mom’s Prayer. It goes like this: help! oh, help! Oh, HELP!

Oh, and this summer I learned that** the thing for ants is borax **(aka 20 Mule Team). You mix up a solution of 20 Mule Team and sugar in water, put it on cotton balls where they can get to them, place those where the ants frequent, and you won’t believe it. I had to leave the solution out twice, but I rarely see an ant now. Knocking down those ants will feel better, too. Borax is mildly problematic for mammals, but it is death to ants. They bring it back to the nest, and you’ll see them looking pretty sad in no time.

The recipe is 1 part borax, 3 parts sugar, and dissolve in water. It doesn’t really matter how much water; that part is not a big deal. You can find the recipe on the internet. Just keep it moist and where they can get to it…

 

[graciew]

You said you moved 3 months ago. This is stressful.
I was wondering how the children feel about that. Not that you have to.answer…
Are they stressed by the pace too ?
How do each of them feel about the new home ?
Can you find a time.to relax ,talk ,hug each of them alone and individually ? Cause this is very fulfilling for mom and child too.
When you described you focus on basic needs ,tidiness ,you reminded me of my last child. I was 38 when she was born. That is…older.
I realized then that the sun would come out anyway if I did not make the beds one day.and could play longer with her. Or leave the washing machine and go out to play soccer for a.while with them all.
In other words ,I.went to bed filled with that joy that we had had the " basics" better covered that day.
And I am very tidy…but I worked on my tolerance to some healthy disorder.
Let them.rest and enjoy you too. Blank ,no to-do in your.mind for a while.a.day.
Slow the pace if you can ,you have all just moved , and find some time to enjoy them even if the world has to stop for a day or two or three !
From my heart.
Take care !

 

[slh3016]

Um…okay…examples of my selfishness…

Spending time here at CAF when someone is trying to talk to me or I should be doing some work.

Reading a favorite newspaper for longer than I really can spare.

Feeling put out and upset by ANOTHER dirty diaper or ANOTHER middle of the night feeding.

Losing my patience and raising my voice at my children and deciding not to use a healthier way to address their mistake or misbehavior.

Getting seriously annoyed by stuff being left out and grousing and trumping about it instead of calmly asking for it to be picked up.

Oh gracious, this is so me, too. I long to overcome these shortcomings of mine every single day and still end up losing my temper at some point.

Some things I’ve done (or am going to do very soon) to try to help me are:

1. Using an online homeschool planner. I get up earlier than the kids every morning and print out our lists. I try to do my planning at the beginning of the week or on Sunday afternoon so it doesn’t take much tweaking in the mornings. It also has a way to assign chores and meal plan but I haven’t starting using those features yet.
2. I’m trying to allow my oldest to be a LOT more independent about his schoolwork. I think what I am going to have to initiate with him is that he has x amount of time to work on a subject and if the work isn’t done, it becomes “afternoon/evening work” that has to be done before he can go outside. I’m hoping this will teach him valuable life skills and cut down on a lot of my anxiety.
3. Instituting a “feet off the floor time” every day where each child is sent to their own “place” in the house. The only thing that can be done during that time is sleep, reading (or listen to audiobook via headphones), or journaling.

One of my goals for this coming weekend is to brainstorm meal ideas that can be prepared and frozen ahead of time and actually do meal planning. We’ve been eating out a lot more than I’d like lately so hopefully this will help with that.

Also, I’d like to ask you what you are passionate about? What gives you energy instead of draining it? What fills your cup, so to speak? I’ve found that I love creating something (painting, digital scrapbooking, sewing, etc.). If I don’t have time pretty often to indulge myself in those things, I get REALLY cranky

One thing I’m finding productive each day is to have multiple times where everyone stops what they are doing and go to their “zone” to a quick pickup. I have baskets/hampers in these community zones that all stray items get put into and then at the end of the day, the baskets have to be emptied. That keeps everything fairly tidy and causes me a lot less stress (especially since my DH has mild OCD when it comes to cleanliness )

 

[Xantippe]

Oh, and this summer I learned that** the thing for ants is borax **(aka 20 Mule Team). You mix up a solution of 20 Mule Team and sugar in water, put it on cotton balls where they can get to them, place those where the ants frequent, and you won’t believe it. I had to leave the solution out twice, but I rarely see an ant now. Knocking down those ants will feel better, too. Borax is mildly problematic for mammals, but it is death to ants. They bring it back to the nest, and you’ll see them looking pretty sad in no time.

The recipe is 1 part borax, 3 parts sugar, and dissolve in water. It doesn’t really matter how much water; that part is not a big deal. You can find the recipe on the internet. Just keep it moist and where they can get to it…

We also like diotomaceous earth for ants. You get a puffer thingy and puff it all over the affected area (kitchen, for example). That stuff needs to be kept dry to work.

I don’t know about the effectiveness of it versus borax, but diotomaceous earth has the huge virtue of being safe enough to eat for humans (some people eat the food grade kind as a dietary supplement) but absolutely deadly for ants, so it requires relatively few precautions.

lifehacker.com/5835163/kill-bugs-with-diatomaceous-earth

We use breathing protection when applying it, because pretty much all powdery things (including sawdust) are bad to get into the lungs.

 

[pensmama87]

Re: ants, I did the borax thing too this summer and it did take 2 doses but it worked. In my case I left it out in an upside down lid on my countertop by the door where they were coming in (so kids wouldn’t get into it).

I did feel a little guilty, but oh man was it satisfying watching all those ants bring their friends, drink the stuff until they looked drunk, but know they were taking it back to their home to share with all their little friends. :extrahappy: And then they were never heard from again. Bwahaha…

 

[Xantippe]

Re: ants, I did the borax thing too this summer and it did take 2 doses but it worked. In my case I left it out in an upside down lid on my countertop by the door where they were coming in (so kids wouldn’t get into it).

I did feel a little guilty, but oh man was it satisfying watching all those ants bring their friends, drink the stuff until they looked drunk, but know they were taking it back to their home to share with all their little friends. :extrahappy: And then they were never heard from again. Bwahaha…

It sounds evil…right up until you see a line of hundreds of sugar ants patiently queuing up to deal with a tiny sticky spot on your kitchen floor.

 

[jmjZelie]

You all we just so kind. Thank you so much. I couldn’t sleep much last night but even so, I don’t feel so panicky this morning. I have planned a few ideas for stopping to rest and pray, even just for five minutes during the day.

My favorite prayer is much like EasterJoy described. “Lord, HELP ME!”

And about the ants: I use a peppermint oil Castile soap cleaning solution (apparently they hate peppermint essential oil). We are in an apartment, and in a region where EVERYONE struggles with ants, which we found out when we moved. I like the sound of the borax trick, although it would probably have to be a regular routine, considering we all live on a gigantic ant hill here! But I think the less we have to use poisons, the better! Thanks for the tip!

 

[EasterJoy]

Re: ants, I did the borax thing too this summer and it did take 2 doses but it worked. In my case I left it out in an upside down lid on my countertop by the door where they were coming in (so kids wouldn’t get into it).

I did feel a little guilty, but oh man was it satisfying watching all those ants bring their friends, drink the stuff until they looked drunk, but know they were taking it back to their home to share with all their little friends. :extrahappy: And then they were never heard from again. Bwahaha…

If I moved into their hill, those ants would kill me in a heartbeat and part me out for lunch. I don’t kill critters for fun, I don’t bother them out in the world, I even try to move them out without killing them when that is practical, but it is curtains for any who invade my “territory.” No offense, little guys, but it is a hygiene thing.

 

[EasterJoy]

You all we just so kind. Thank you so much. I couldn’t sleep much last night but even so, I don’t feel so panicky this morning. I have planned a few ideas for stopping to rest and pray, even just for five minutes during the day.

My favorite prayer is much like EasterJoy described. “Lord, HELP ME!”

And about the ants: I use a peppermint oil Castile soap cleaning solution (apparently they hate peppermint essential oil). We are in an apartment, and in a region where EVERYONE struggles with ants, which we found out when we moved. I like the sound of the borax trick, although it would probably have to be a regular routine, considering we all live on a gigantic ant hill here! But I think the less we have to use poisons, the better! Thanks for the tip!

I’ve read up on this, and the university extension services say that essential oils are next to useless when it comes to deterring insects and rodents.

We’ve had ants every summer at our house for 15 years, but sugar and borax really knocked them down. It did it in the course of 3-4 days after they found the cotton balls, which I kept moistened. I assume they’ll be back on a regular basis, but right now I’m seeing no ants. I’ve never seen no ants in the house in August! (I think we only get a respite until a new colony moves in and decides to disregard all the dead bodies laying around in the vicinity of the old hill, LOL.)

The other thing borax is great for, by the way, is cleaning mold and mildew. It not only does a great job cleaning those, but also inhibits future growth. Bleach doesn’t, and borax is a much less aggressive cleaning agent.

My only other “miracle find” have been Biz–particularly good for getting the smell of adolescent boys out of microfiber fabrics, but also just a very good non-chlorine bleach with whiteners and enzymes–and Dawn dishwashing soap. I’ve treated grease stains with Dawn and it was like magic. Oh, and liquid hand soap is great for blood stains. I don’t know why; I figured this out by accident.

 

[pensmama87]

The other thing borax is great for, by the way, is cleaning mold and mildew. It not only does a great job cleaning those, but also inhibits future growth. Bleach doesn’t, and borax is a much less aggressive cleaning agent.

You may have just changed my life!

Almost the only thing I use bleach for is for the mold problems in our bathroom, which was painted with regular (non-high-moisture-tolerating) paint when the previous owners of our house put the house up for sale. Not just the wall but tub, shower tiles, floor…everything. It is…the worst. But we can’t afford to redo it (and it does need redoing, it’s the original everything from when the house was built 50+ years ago) and I get frustrated all the time that even bleach doesn’t work for long.

I keep borax handy for ants and for my homemade laundry detergent…and now I’ll have to try this and see where we get! Thank you!