What's the big deal with rings?

  • Thread starter Thread starter HerCrazierHalf
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I love my plain wedding band. I had to have it sized, so I had a ring guard on it. Thereafter, I had it resized I couldn’t wait to get it back. It took about three days or do you get it fixed, and I felt nekkix without it.

I wear mine 24/7. One because I love wearing it, and two, if I take it off, I may never find it. I am forgetful and if it is on my finger, I know where it is. 😉
 
I took mine off during late pregnancy to avoid needing it to be cut off if my fingers swelled. Then they did swell AFTER giving birth from all the IV fluids. And now it’s humid…I’ve been wearing them on a chain with my crucifix for months now. I’d be so upset if my husband didn’t wear his.
 
AdamPeter said:
Rings can be resized by a jeweler.
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My ring got a little tight, so I resized it myself in the machine shop. Stretched it about half a size on a tapered mandrel. Feels good now.

We’re professionals. Don’t try this at home. 😉
 
My husband and I don’t wear rings. They get in the way with work for me and it is not allowed during many parts of his job. If he had to keep taking it off it would get lost so we just don’t wear them at all. Honestly I don’t think it really matters. If you trust your spouse you don’t need anything to warn others away, and if you don’t trust your spouse a ring isn’t going to change anything anyway. I understand it’s a sign of commitment and see nothing wrong with wearing a ring but it’s truly not required. They aren’t even a required part of a wedding ceremony or Catholic wedding Mass. They really are optional. I have seen first hand the danger rings of any size or sort can cause in job sites. Even for us housewives they cause problems at times. I have seen soldiers in my husband’s unit get tattooed rings because they aren’t able to wear them most of the time, but my husband and I don’t get tattoos so that’s not happening for us, and honestly it wouldn’t hold any meaning to us. Tattoos aren’t blessed during the wedding Mass like rings are. We actually married without rings and bought them later. We had a priest bless them, but we found we just don’t like wearing them and found them to be unsafe with our work. Even at home mine would get caught on things. One deployment two guys in my husband’s unit had their ring fingers ripped off when the ring got caught on truck doors. I prefer my husband not losing body parts for something unnecessary.
 
One thing that I try to remember is that the rings are sacramentals.

I wear mine most of the time, but I do take it off for various chores etc since I’m scared of it falling off and into a drain, etc. My husband wears his all of the time.
 
Well, she’s right about one thing…
If it’s a problem for your wife, she’s the one you need to seek answers from.
I sense that you’re looking for ammo to use in this argument.
No bueno.
It’s your marriage,
If it’s important to her…you have to either make the sacrifice for her out of love, (and get over it) or you both have to compromise.
But talking to us ain’t gonna fix it. :coffeeread:
 
Dacinom said:
God bless. As an aside: When I was young and single I really appreciated it when men wore wedding rings, as I was more than disappointed on several occasions when a married man didn’t. I recall being out with friends, and striking up conversations with groups of attractive young men! (years ago!) There were times when I found myself interested in a man, even perhaps mildly flirting to hear him say “Oh, I am married” I thought to myself “Well if you had a ring on I would not have wasted my time!”
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Good point, I never thought of that …or that much of myself. 😉
 
pianistclare said:
Well, she’s right about one thing…
If it’s a problem for your wife, she’s the one you need to seek answers from.
I sense that you’re looking for ammo to use in this argument.
No bueno.
It’s your marriage,
If it’s important to her…you have to either make the sacrifice for her out of love, (and get over it) or you both have to compromise.
But talking to us ain’t gonna fix it. :coffeeread:
Click to expand...
At the end of the day it is something between the two of us. I was actually curious about what the big deal was.

For example, I’ve never seen my dad with a wedding bands and I don’t even know if he has one. It was never an issue for my folks.
 
HerCrazierHalf said:
At the end of the day it is something between the two of us. I was actually curious about what the big deal was.

For example, I’ve never seen my dad with a wedding bands and I don’t even know if he has one. It was never an issue for my folks.
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Wedding rings for men AT ALL are a relative new historical event.
Having said this, we live int he present culture.
 
  1. I like wearing it because it is a visible sign of my status in life, being married to my wife. Plus, I now have a major ring divot on that finger that makes me look like I had the finger attached after birth like Frodo.
  2. I like wearing it because we exchanged rings with our vows at our wedding, and she put thought into the ring she got me.
  3. She likes me wearing it, which ultimately trumps any reasons to the contrary I could have.
  4. Like anything, after awhile, it becomes second-nature. I don’t even notice it is there any more than I do socks. Granted, my ring represents the vows I made to my wife and she to me, while my socks represent my commitment to not chafe or odor up my shoes, but you get used to it in both cases.
Just my reasons. Ultimately, while I’d wear it even if my wife didn’t care, I would defer to her wishes if I felt otherwise, as she would to mine.
 
For my husband and myself, it is a sign of our love and commitment to each other. Also, they are sacramentals, and as such bring graces to us through their use.

My husband and I are not jewelry people either. The only jewelry we wear is our wedding bands. And they are simple and skinny golden bands, with no adornments. And they match, except for their sizes.

I would be very hurt if my husband decided he didn’t want to wear his anymore. I urge you to seriously consider how it might affect your wife if you just stop wearing your ring. In the culture in which I was raised in the US, the “taking off the wedding ring” was an action with meaning. It symbolized a change of heart/mind and a desire to not be bound by one’s promises to one’s spouse.

I think a better alternative would be to find a plain and slender band with a “comfort fit” shape (totally rounded inside the circle and outside so it has no flat edges to irritate) and have the priest bless that one for you to wear it instead of your original band. I went through a few wedding bands before I found one that didn’t irritate or cause indentations or rashes. I am thankful that my husband and I were both able to switch to the comfort fit matching bands. It solved the problem of hating the feeling of jewelry while understanding the importance of outward signs and sacramentals.
 
Your “wedding” ring is a insignia of a belief in the eternal purpose of life, that is to love God with all your heart, with your partner as a sign of eternal love.
 
Did you give her an engagement ring? How would it feel if, when you were engaged, she gave it back to you. “just a symbol, doesn’t mean anything”
 
I feel about this the same way I felt about last week’s last name question. Do you and your wife have a good marriage? Do you trust each other? Do you agree on what marriage is and how yours should be honored and protected? Do you speak highly of one another to friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances? Are you committed to being together forever?

The rings are just a symbol. They’re a symbol of something special and beautiful, but the existence of rings, much less the wearing of them, has no bearing on the marriage itself.

But, since it’s important to her, can a compromise be found? Can you wear it on certain occasions? Wear a nice watch instead? Put the ring on a chain and hang it from your rearview mirror? Tattoo a ring? There are endless possibilities.
 
Many suggestions to tattoo a ring…

While seemingly romantic and an easier solve to the “I don’t like jewelry” problem, in my opinion this is NOT a good option, as someone who is married to a widower.

Marriage ends in death. Even if both of the couple live to a ripe old age and never marry someone else after the first of them dies, there is no marriage in heaven.

But already having to deal with a ghost and memories, healing, moving forward, a tattoo ring would most definitely be a hindrance and turn off.
 
agapewolf said:
Many suggestions to tattoo a ring…

While seemingly romantic and an easier solve to the “I don’t like jewelry” problem, in my opinion this is NOT a good option, as someone who is married to a widower.

Marriage ends in death. Even if both of the couple live to a ripe old age and never marry someone else after the first of them dies, there is no marriage in heaven.

But already having to deal with a ghost and memories, healing, moving forward, a tattoo ring would most definitely be a hindrance and turn off.
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Hubby and I just got discreet tattoo rings a few months ago. They’re only visible when we take off our normal rings. (Hubby’s first and only tattoo:D) We love them, and they’re a lot of fun to show off on float trips, hiking adventures, etc.

One of the reasons we decided to get them is in case one of us dies. The rings can never be lost or stolen, so if one of us passes, we’ll have the rings we got tattooed forever. Even if one of us remarried after death, a lifelong mark for this marriage is very special. Marriage may end at death, but the past can’t be erased, nor should it be. We’ll always be each other’s first spouses, and we will have always made those promises to each other.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Hubby and I just got discreet tattoo rings a few months ago. They’re only visible when we take off our normal rings. (Hubby’s first and only tattoo:D) We love them, and they’re a lot of fun to show off on float trips, hiking adventures, etc.

One of the reasons we decided to get them is in case one of us dies. The rings can never be lost or stolen, so if one of us passes, we’ll have the rings we got tattooed forever. Even if one of us remarried after death, a lifelong mark for this marriage is very special. Marriage may end at death, but the past can’t be erased, nor should it be. We’ll always be each other’s first spouses, and we will have always made those promises to each other.
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That’s really an amazing way to view marriage. I agree with you. The past can not and should not ever be erased and no one is ever truly replaced. If a widow(er) remarries, their first marriage helped to shape them into the person they are today and that is a blessing to the current spouse.
 
jmjZelie said:
For my husband and myself, it is a sign of our love and commitment to each other. Also, they are sacramentals, and as such bring graces to us through their use.

My husband and I are not jewelry people either. The only jewelry we wear is our wedding bands. And they are simple and skinny golden bands, with no adornments. And they match, except for their sizes.

I would be very hurt if my husband decided he didn’t want to wear his anymore. I urge you to seriously consider how it might affect your wife if you just stop wearing your ring. In the culture in which I was raised in the US, the “taking off the wedding ring” was an action with meaning. It symbolized a change of heart/mind and a desire to not be bound by one’s promises to one’s spouse.

I think a better alternative would be to find a plain and slender band with a “comfort fit” shape (totally rounded inside the circle and outside so it has no flat edges to irritate) and have the priest bless that one for you to wear it instead of your original band. I went through a few wedding bands before I found one that didn’t irritate or cause indentations or rashes. I am thankful that my husband and I were both able to switch to the comfort fit matching bands. It solved the problem of hating the feeling of jewelry while understanding the importance of outward signs and sacramentals.
Click to expand...
I ditto the “comfort fit” band suggestion. My rings are both (engagement and wedding band) very slim, and are second nature to me now…I feel naked if they aren’t on! DH, however, never wore any sort of jewelry before we got married, and wears his ring strictly because it means so much to me that he wears it. Nearly four years in, and it still bugs him a bit to have something on his hand! However, when I had him try on bands, he said that the comfort fit style bothered him infinitely less than any other style, so that’s what I got him, and he admits that he doesn’t find it uncomfortable at all…just noticeable.

A jeweler also may well be able to melt a current ring into a comfort fit band.
 
bitterhope said:
shape them into the person they are today and that is a blessing to the current spouse.
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hah…not always, and in my exploration of support groups for those dating widowers, many times NOT a blessing.

What I’m seeing is that the normalcy the widower accepted as being “good” is explored as “oh my gosh-- it wasn’t good”…which leads to so much pain and and pre-programming, then a reorientation… that becomes a major hurdle for new spouse to get through.

This is not just my experience…this is very common.
 
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