When did people start holding hands in Catholic churches?

[ElizabethPH]

I know quite a few people in AA, since a coffeehouse I used to go to (since closed down) had AA meetings in addition to being open to the general public. The AA people said that they always hold hands when the pray the Lord’s Prayer. I don’t know if AA had any influence on the Church or Mass.

I thought that after each meeting they all gathered around in a circle and held hands praying the Serenity Prayer, not the Lords Prayer. But I could be wrong.

 

[lak611]

I thought that after each meeting they all gathered around in a circle and held hands praying the Serenity Prayer, not the Lords Prayer. But I could be wrong.

They start the meeting with the Serenity Prayer which they don’t hold hands during. They end the meeting with the Lord’s Prayer holding hands. I saw the end of a meeting at the coffeeshop once, and the people I know said they start the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.

 

[archangel63]

Thanks for the responses folks!
Personally, I find the hand-holding kinda strange. I always felt church was a place to go to focus on God and not those around me (not trying to be selfish at all). I think it’s kinda distracting. And like I said it almost makes me feel like I’m not at a Catholic mass. And the orans position (I didn’t know that’s what it was called) seems kinda strange too. I don’t have a problem with the priests doing this (there it seems natural, and priests have been doing this since before my time I guess). I don’t know, when I see this stuff in the context of a Catholic mass it looks like I’m celebrating with a Protestant sect, LOL!

I pretty much keep my hands in a prayer position throughout the entire mass. When I’m at Church it’s about me and my relationship with God. It’s about keeping my focus on what is going on at the alter (not around me). I kinda feel like if you want to hold hands and express unity and brotherly love, wait til the service is over and you’re walking out the door.

 

[JW10631]

The did that hand-holding for **years **at my mother’s parish, and I **hated it!

**I bowed my head slightly and held my hands together in front of me. Repeated bumps on my left or right were ignored.

That was ditched, to be replaced by the orans, which I refuse to do when I am there as well.

Then again, my wife and I always reply “and with your spirit”. I can translate that much Latin.

 

[cargopilot]

If memory serves, it just kind of ‘started’ in my parish around 1987 and now is the norm. Woe to the poor slob who doesn’t conform to this innovation, in my parish

I can’t stand it. I don’t like to hold the hands of others. In fact, I stress out about it before every mass. I’m afraid that those in my diocese are so fond of hand-holding that the few who abhor it face constant ‘re-education’. I’ve had to invent little tricks to avoid the hand-holding I deeply loathe. I’ve got a few quirks, and the desire to not hold hands with others is one of them.

My kids are indoctrinated at school mass, because the principal tells them to always join hands for the Our Father and any of the kids who fail to do so will regret it, both administratively and by their peers.

 

[Cobbfmly]

The first time I remember holding hands for the Our Father was at my first communion in the Los Angeles, CA area in 1975.

At my current parish most people hold hands. But, we never do anything to pressure people who don’t want to hold hands into holding hands.

 

[lak611]

The first time I remember holding hands for the Our Father was at my first communion in the Los Angeles, CA area in 1975.

At my current parish most people hold hands. But, we never do anything to pressure people who don’t want to hold hands into holding hands.

We always held hands at the school Masses in my Catholic high school in the 1980’s, but never at either parish I belonged to. When people started trying to do this at my current parish, the pastor told the congregation the following week in his homily that this is not to be done. The congregation has complied ever since.

 

[blessedtoo]

Thanks for the responses folks!
Personally, I find the hand-holding kinda strange. I always felt church was a place to go to focus on God and not those around me (not trying to be selfish at all). I think it’s kinda distracting. And like I said it almost makes me feel like I’m not at a Catholic mass. And the orans position (I didn’t know that’s what it was called) seems kinda strange too. I don’t have a problem with the priests doing this (there it seems natural, and priests have been doing this since before my time I guess). I don’t know, when I see this stuff in the context of a Catholic mass it looks like I’m celebrating with a Protestant sect, LOL!

I pretty much keep my hands in a prayer position throughout the entire mass. When I’m at Church it’s about me and my relationship with God. It’s about keeping my focus on what is going on at the alter (not around me). I kinda feel like if you want to hold hands and express unity and brotherly love, wait til the service is over and you’re walking out the door.

AMEN, Brother!

 

[blessedtoo]

If memory serves, it just kind of ‘started’ in my parish around 1987 and now is the norm. Woe to the poor slob who doesn’t conform to this innovation, in my parish

I can’t stand it. I don’t like to hold the hands of others. In fact, I stress out about it before every mass. I’m afraid that those in my diocese are so fond of hand-holding that the few who abhor it face constant ‘re-education’. I’ve had to invent little tricks to avoid the hand-holding I deeply loathe. I’ve got a few quirks, and the desire to not hold hands with others is one of them.

My kids are indoctrinated at school mass, because the principal tells them to always join hands for the Our Father and any of the kids who fail to do so will regret it, both administratively and by their peers.

There are only two parishes left in this entire diocese where hand holding is not the norm. I used to attend both but had to move recently. I am simply amazed at the extent of this practice. I am appalled and saddened that this even has to be a part of my consciousness while I am at Mass. It breaks my heart that in order to worship as I have always done, as I was taught by the sisters to do, I must find a seat far away from everyone else so that I am not accosted by my neighbor to assume a contrived and totally unnecessary posture of “community”. It’s bad enough that the once subtle and respectful Kiss of Peace has now turned into a a mini coffe klatche in the midst of the Mass and the hub-ub surrounding the dismissal of the kids for the Children’s Liturgy includes the Hiel Hitler salute. And just for good fun, today, during the Pentecost Mass, the big projection screens that Catholics apparently need now to follow the liturgy blew the computer program out and we were left staring at the Microsoft logo for 10 minutes before the reading of the Gospel. How much worse can it get???

 

[Goth_Catholic]

Yeesh. What do you guys do when your suppost to share a sign of peace with each other? Or don’t you do that ethier?

In my parish all of the elderly ethier hold hands or stands in orans during the Our Father. These are people who know all the songs, all the prayers, all the gestures. My family holds hands as well. Our priests have never said anything about it.

 

[paramedicgirl]

Yeesh. What do you guys do when your suppost to share a sign of peace with each other? Or don’t you do that ethier?

In my parish all of the elderly ethier hold hands or stands in orans during the Our Father. These are people who know all the songs, all the prayers, all the gestures. My family holds hands as well. Our priests have never said anything about it.

When I am at a Novus Ordo Mass, I share the sign of peace as prescribed by the rubrics; in a solemn manner and only to those immediately around me.

When I am at a TLM, I thank God there is no sign of peace.

 

[mdstanzel]

When I am at a Novus Ordo Mass, I share the sign of peace as prescribed by the rubrics; in a solemn manner and only to those immediately around me.

When I am at a TLM, I thank God there is no sign of peace.

Why? Do you not love God’s children?

I think the excuse that it’s distracting is not valid. There are far more distracting things going on if you have a strong showing of Catholic families showing up with their children. If the children aren’t there, you have a much deeper problem. And the women wearing G-strings or spaghetti string shirts at Mass; . someone needs to teach them proper etiquette. This isn’t a beach party.

 

[Aramis]

You’re lucky to have a priest that will stop it. Our priest stopped Mass once and asked us to pray in the “Orans” position regularly. However, he reserved the right to have us hold hands in the future. He basically said that the hand position of each Mass was up to his discretion.

He’s not entirely accurate; postural issues not defined in the GIRM or in specific national bodies national instructions for the Roman Mass are left to the Bishop’s discretion.

The Bishop MAY have delegated this…

Yeesh. What do you guys do when your suppost to share a sign of peace with each other? Or don’t you do that ethier?

In my parish all of the elderly ethier hold hands or stands in orans during the Our Father. These are people who know all the songs, all the prayers, all the gestures. My family holds hands as well. Our priests have never said anything about it.

Most of the Roman parishes in Anchorage have the bulk of the laity using the Orantes/Orans posture for the Our Father.

Very Rev. Fr. Leo Walsh, STL, Vicar General for the Archdiocese of Anchorage, specifically teaches that it is one of the approved postures IN ANCHORAGE for the Our Father. Not that it is a required posture. And, while I don’t have the images available to show, there are some very old illustrations showing the laity using the orantes posture in both East and West.

It is part of our Jewish inheritance within the church.

 

[ElizabethPH]

Why? Do you not love God’s children?

I think the excuse that it’s distracting is not valid. There are far more distracting things going on if you have a strong showing of Catholic families showing up with their children. If the children aren’t there, you have a much deeper problem. And the women wearing G-strings or spaghetti string shirts at Mass; . someone needs to teach them proper etiquette. This isn’t a beach party.

I have had a very difficult time lately concentrating at Mass…and you are right it was not because I had to shake someones hand or hold their hand during the Lord’s Prayer. Just this last Sunday; in front of me were two people talking after the beginning of Mass, with a fear that this would continue all the way through Mass I actually moved; to only be faced with two very tall teen agers standing on the kneeler jumping on and off of it…pushing each other, elbowing each other throughout the whole Mass. It was awful and what looked like their mother was with them doing nothing about it. I ended up putting my hand up to my face to block out the view so’s I could concentrate. There is no reverence.
I know I am complaining and I feel bad about it and I should just pray for these folks and for myself to be able to deal with it better. And I do do that; but somehow sometimes it doesn’t work. It is so distracting.

 

[BobP123]

Yeesh. What do you guys do when your suppost to share a sign of peace with each other? Or don’t you do that ethier?

Methinks that’s way overdone at parishes as well. Why is it necessary to fill every minute at the Holy Sacrifice with conversations with one another? The minute you enter the Church there are already social circles formed and it continues, interrupted briefly by readings which people sleep through. Then the feel-good homily, people presenting “gifts”, collection activity, a quick Eucharistic prayer, and then handholding and handshakes (in case you missed the handhold?) Time out for God please!

 

[paramedicgirl]

Why? Do you not love God’s children?

Are you suggesting that I should not follow the prescribed rubrics for the sign of peace? It sure sounds like that, it also sounds like you are judging me for doing so, by inferring that I don’t love others because I offer the sign of peace the way it is required of us.

I think the excuse that it’s distracting is not valid. There are far more distracting things going on if you have a strong showing of Catholic families showing up with their children. If the children aren’t there, you have a much deeper problem. And the women wearing G-strings or spaghetti string shirts at Mass; . someone needs to teach them proper etiquette. This isn’t a beach party.

Of course the sign of peace can be distracting. Why do you think there are prescribed rubrics for it? Cardinal Arinze recently spoke about offering the sign of peace the way the GIRM calls for it. Who am I going to listen to, you or Cardinal Arinze?

 

[BobP123]

This isn’t a beach party.

Apparently you haven’t been at all the Masses. :extrahappy: :extrahappy:

 

[mdstanzel]

paramedicgirl,

You seem to have misread what I stated in the first paragraph. It actually sounds like I hit a trigger. My “judegement”, as you say, is not that you follow the rubrics, but that you are complaining that the rubrics “requires” your obedience to actually have to touch those “godawful” Christians next to you. Sister (I think that you are Christian so that this means something), I take offence that you judge our Spiritual Father, Pope Benedict XVI and the other Bishops of the Catholic faith. We are to be of like mind in Christ. Let’s dig in the scriptures just for a moment. These are some “one another” quotes that I referenced quickly for your edification.

Romans 12:10
Romans 14:13
Romans 14:19
Romans 15:5
Romans 15:7
Romans 15:14
1 Corinthians 12:25
Galatians 6:2
Ephesians 4:2
Ephesians 4:32
Ephesians 5:21
Philippians 2:4
Colossians 3:13
Colossians 3:16
1 Thessalonians 5:13
Hebrews 3:13
James 4:11
James 5:16
James 5:16

I’m amazed at the lameness of those that complains about what the Church is having us do rather than being like putty in the palm of God’s hands. We push our own agendas above the Church, which is commissioned by Christ? Shame on us for not putting God first. Do we complain that we face a priest in the confessional, because that must be liberal. We should all have to hide behind a screen to confess. Why not argue the oposite. The TLM was not always. What if we go to doing the Mass the way the Eastern Church worships. That would be more like the first Liturgy of the Word and Liturgy of the Eucharist. How stubborn our hearts have become.

As a returning Catholic discusted with lame Catholics and finally accepting that I HAVE TO LOVE YOU TOO? I had to change the way I see things and see it the way Christ sees it. I’m working on it. Why would anyone complain about shaking others hands at the “prescribed” time? The distraction of having to stand up and kneel is a distraction. Not knowing whether to sing or say is distracting. Incense in the building for those of us who have adverse reactions is a distraction. The bright colors of people attires is a distraction. The crying children in the pews is a distraction. But to complain about a “PRESCRIBED” rubrics gesture is just sinful. [Edited by Moderator] And why even go to Mass? Because it’s all a distraction. But to complain about shaking God’s children’s hands just rings as pure selfishness. What about selflessness. Dying to one’s own desires. Yes some people go overboard. But Christ dis not say put up with each other, he said to “love one another as I have loved you”.

Sure it’s strange, but do it with love and stop complaining about what our Holy Father at the Vatican along with the Bishops have decided is good for us probably to remind us that “WE” not “me” are there TOGETHER to worshiop God. Bold only used to emphasize meaning. That’s one of the reasons the Mass was changed. The TLM left the laity out of the picture and the NO was actually a return to Traditional mass in the Early Church from what I’ve learned. The TML was the Mass that embedded clericalism that led to so many clerical abuses. With time the reaction to changing the Mass to the NO will balance out along with all the other “changes”. If you study the Vatican II documents you’ll find that the alledged changes were really emphasis on what we were already doing. The language was twisted by clerics and laity that led to the many abuses.

[Edited by Moderator]

So I return it the way I would if I were still a Protestant to show you what it’s like to leave the Majesterium of the Church. You would be asked to be absolutely silent or to never return like in the early Church. The clerics are way to easy on us in my opinion. Many of us should be turned away at the door, but they keep letting us come back and they don’t have to. Learn from my experience.

 

[VociMike]

Why? Do you not love God’s children?

It’s very uncharitable to assume that other people have the worst possible motives.

 

[Miserissima]

I think the excuse that it’s distracting is not valid.

I’d like to add my own *gentle *two cents on this question.

My church never did hold hands while I was in Catholic school, and I didnt see it happen until I joined the “adult” Sunday choir. The choir held hands religiously, but the congregation didn’t. About five years later when I came back to the Church, everyone in the pews did it, and it felt…trite and awkward. I feel left out of the uniformed structure if I don’t go along.

As far as the sign of peace, I find that it is distracting, simply because you go from a solemn moment to a greeting which is more cordial and something that would be better suited under the Liturgy of the Word, or during the opening blessings. I am not against it per se, but where it is in the order of mass.

Here’s the only analogy I can think of right now: you’re listening to a beautiful concerto and you get to the climax of the piece, (at the Mass you’re getting carried along in the solemnity, reverence, awe, majesty, and worship that accompanies this music). Suddenly, it all stops to the sound of a hurdy-gurdy.

It’s disjointed and a little jarring and although I love offering the sign of peace, it’s not where my attention should be. It should be that we are together focusing on Christ present - or about to be present - a the altar, not focusing on each other.