When did RCC start charging to use the Church for marriage?

[THurifer2]

Let’s see … They don’t go to mass, they contribute $0 to the parish all year long … they become members 6 months before the wedding so that they can get married in the church … They are never seen again after the wedding …

Yeah, the church is going to try to get some donation from them. Besides the HELL that they often put the church through, from their attitudes to trashing it the day of the wedding …

Nothing in life is free. Sorry, no sympathy.

I am starting to warm up to liturgists

I had to pay 5 bucks for the church in 1993. Huge Gothic twin spired church that my wife was raised in. Of course he family has been members there for almost 50 years though…

I think some of it may have to do with discouraging people who don’t attend mass from “using” the church for a “pretty” wedding.

I am all for it.

 

[catherineajt]

I am starting to warm up to liturgists

I had to pay 5 bucks for the church in 1993. Huge Gothic twin spired church that my wife was raised in. Of course he family has been members there for almost 50 years though…

**I think some of it may have to do with discouraging people who don’t attend mass from “using” the church for a “pretty” wedding.

I am all for it**.

Amen. I had a friend in college who was a Methodist, was marrying a Catholic, and spent most of her wedding planning visiting churches. She was dismayed that all the Catholic churches in the area were, in her words, “ugly!” so she scouted out the Methodist churches. Also ugly. I can’t remember which denomination’s church she finally got married in, but she was happy that it had big, huge ceilings and huge stained glass windows. Then, of course, years later, she regretted it because she realized it was important to raise the children in a particular faith, her husband’s, and wished she had been married in a Catholic church.

 

[tpraines]

I agree with the fee as there are a lot of unseen expenses. We attend a huge Gothic church and we have a fee for the same reasons mentioned above. The A/C bill for a church of that size is huge. Especially if you are church or priest hunting. But if you were long time parishioner Father would have no problem with letting you use the church, just be fair to the altar servers, sacristan, maintenace, etc. who make a special effort to be there for you.

(On a side note… Everyone seems to like the new modern stadium seating style parishes and those are filled with tithing members on Sundays… But funny, when they are ready to get married, they come downtown to our old struggling gothic style traditional cathedral like parish!)

BTW, Father also has a one on one with the photographer to set the guidelines… There is nothing worse than a photographer thinking, Oh cool… as he jumps the altar rail and lays down on the marble between the couple and the altar to get an “awesome” picture of the fancy dressed guy holding up this piece of bread like it was alive or something!

It is also sad when there is a surge in attendance at the Sunday Mass with tons of inappropriately dressed new faces to attend the Baptism of a child who’s family you have never seen before and probably never will again… until Easter. They are really missing out on all that the Church has to offer…

When we got married 14 years ago we were kids and my family and I helped repaint the interior of the parish hall. That was our donation to our small little parish and it needed some touch up before the reception anyway. And you know what… Father even bought some of the paint and had the men’s group help!

Pardon the rant!

Please pray for all the struggling priests who are trying to hold us all together!

 

[THurifer2]

(On a side note… Everyone seems to like the new modern stadium seating style parishes and those are filled with tithing members on Sundays… But funny, when they are ready to get married, they come downtown to our old struggling gothic style traditional cathedral like parish!)

!

Certainly strange isn’t it? Even progressives have a nose for antiquity. Uh Oh…should have bit my tongue.

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

Certainly strange isn’t it? Even progressives have a nose for antiquity. Uh Oh…should have bit my tongue.

You know what’s scary? Seeing a presbyterian church designed to look like an old style, gothic Catholic church … Obviously, some pastor just has a thing for beautiful, cathedral like churches.

 

[turtle18]

My sister checked at her parish first and was surprised there was a charge because as I indicated in my post, we have had previous weddings in our family and there never was a charge. My sister then checked at my parents’ parish and there was a charge there as well. She is trying to figure out a budget for the wedding.

All of the excuses you all have posted could also be applied to private funerals & baptisms. If these sacraments aren’t integrated into Masses, then you should charge for use of the building as well. My family has even had private Masses in the past and did not have to pay for the “use of the building.” (We just gave a generous donation to the priest.)

When a Church charges for the use of the building, it weakens & ironically, cheapens the Sacrament of Marriage because the Church is buying into the notion that it is an “event” instead of a sacrament.

The majority of engaged couples are cohabitating, and the church just gives them a wink & nod and marries them anyway. Wouldn’t it be more useful to focus on the sacredness of the institution and our Church teachings instead of just treating the Church as a rental hall in which to get married? It seems like there is a for rent sign, regardless of the values of the married couple.

 

[YADA]

Well there is a dilemma. The Church in no way can even suggest that there is a fee for the celebration of any Sacrament and Canon Law indicates that Sacraments must be celebrated in a Catholic church. (under normal circumstances) If it’s a Catholic/Catholic Marriage it should be within a Mass, which I can’t see being celebrated in the Social hall when the church is sitting there empty. So how does the parish resolve that.

And the parish fees for a special Mass is not charging for the sacrament … unless you would also consider passing the collection plate at the regular Saturday/Sunday mass “a fee for celebrating the sacrament”

Now most people would be more offended by the numptial mass ushers taking up a collection than paying the church fee.

At our parish, couples pay a $100 cleaning fee … they pay the cantor a stipend of $100 [a vounteer from the music ministry] and $150 to the staff musician who plays the piano/organ during the marriage ceremony [be it a mass or just a catholic marriage ceremony] That $150 covers the liturgists’ time meeting with the couple selecting the music, the practice time, the wedding rehearsal and the wedding [all of which is an overtime cost to the parish as this does not occur Monday through Friday during the normal week day] …

This in no way could be considered to cover all the costs nor be a charge for the sacrament of marriage. All of the above fees can be circumvented by the addition of the wedding vows to a regularly scheduled mass.

Marriage preparation classes are required and for which there are some fees associated.

Our church is not for rent - marriages are for those who have a connection to the parish, either the bride or the groom’s family … not just those who shop for the "church’ of their dreams …

 

[kage_ar]

All of the excuses you all have posted could also be applied to private funerals & baptisms…

When was the last time you saw a funeral or baptism rehersal? Even a “private mass” does not require a rehersal. For a funeral or a baptism, the Church does not need to be available for hours on that day so the party can dress, take photos…

Weddings, events where the party desires exclusive use of the facilities for several hours over multiple days - it just costs more to open the building so the wedding party can have that dream day.

Also, to compare a funeral to a wedding seems a bit cruel. A family of mourners is not exactly the same situation.

I’m sure your sister could get married during the Saturday vigil Mass, or at one of the regular daily Masses and there would be no fee.

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

Also, to compare a funeral to a wedding seems a bit cruel. A family of mourners is not exactly the same situation.

I’m sure your sister could get married during the Saturday vigil Mass, or at one of the regular daily Masses and there would be no fee.

Exactly! There are no “funeral planners” running around talking about how important this day is and how you only get one in your life.

 

[Semper_Fi_1]

There is usually a ‘booking fee’ (a deposit) and the final payment to the Priest for use of the premises. Think about the future married couple who is going around, they have plenty of things on their minds. there are many things that change during the course of a marriage. Often, you are not married in your home Parish, so these people are not exactly sure how serious you are about your marriage. As a consequence, someone else may not be able to get married that week because you booked the chapel and then cancelled. This still costs the parish money in terms of preparation , and all of the other tidbits that go along with it. I don’t think it’s wrong at all to charge a small fee to book a chapel and then to pay the priest (a workman is worth his wages, as it is said in the Bible).

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Exactly! There are no “funeral planners” running around talking about how important this day is and how you only get one in your life.

In fact, a better comparison for weddings than funerals or private baptisms (and when was the last time there was a private baptism??? If it happened, did it involve that much real estate of the parish church, or just the font or baptistry) would be…

…quinceanera!!! A simple blessing of a young girl who has started the road to Christian womanhood!!!
http://www.usccb.org/liturgy/Quinceanera.pdf

Private debuts mean a rehearsal and usually a private Mass. In this diocese, for private quineanera, the parishes are allowed to come up with a fee. They are also allowed to embroider on the diocese rules for quinceanera, make them tougher. For example, if the girl is not already confirmed, she better be ready the next time Confirmation is offered in the diocese. And she better get some service hours!!

At Old Parish, many families opted for the extended family to attend the Saturday Vigil Mass. There was no rehearsal and there was no fee. I have been witness to many lovely debuts of this nature. The reception after was also tailored down.

If Mami and Poppi wanted chamberlains and damas and madrinas and padrinos walking up the aisle at the beginning of Mass, a rehearsal at least one day before the big event, a big display with a photographer to capture the 4 foot wide skirt on the 15 year-old, many photos up in the sanctuary, and don’t forget the little lady who makes her livlihood planning these- then they paid the going rate, and still met the requirements for a quincee.

Same thing as a “big” wedding in aspect of “event” and spectacle.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

And the parish fees for a special Mass is not charging for the sacrament … unless you would also consider passing the collection plate at the regular Saturday/Sunday mass “a fee for celebrating the sacrament”

Now most people would be more offended by the numptial mass ushers taking up a collection than paying the church fee.

At our parish, couples pay a $100 cleaning fee … they pay the cantor a stipend of $100 [a vounteer from the music ministry] and $150 to the staff musician who plays the piano/organ during the marriage ceremony [be it a mass or just a catholic marriage ceremony] That $150 covers the liturgists’ time meeting with the couple selecting the music, the practice time, the wedding rehearsal and the wedding [all of which is an overtime cost to the parish as this does not occur Monday through Friday during the normal week day] …

This in no way could be considered to cover all the costs nor be a charge for the sacrament of marriage. All of the above fees can be circumvented by the addition of the wedding vows to a regularly scheduled mass.

Marriage preparation classes are required and for which there are some fees associated.

Our church is not for rent - marriages are for those who have a connection to the parish, either the bride or the groom’s family … not just those who shop for the "church’ of their dreams …

Wait, you are mixing in other non-essential things with the basic things. Musician, extra -Cantor, extra - Litrugy planning - extra. Ushers - extra. 3 hour rehersal the day before - extra. I agree with this.

However the Church already has a standard Marriage liturgy, use that or it’s extra. A small basic wedding should not “dirty” the church any more than a normal daily Mass would, flowers, decorations, etc. - extra. Normal Mass, no. Turn the Air or heat on 1/2 hour before. Walk through a day or so before, during normal business hours.

Of course I’m talking about truly active members of the parish, who actually live in the parish boundries.

 

[puzzleannie]

our parish charges the same nominal fee when the church is reserved outside of a scheduled Mass time for a wedding, quincenera, or funeral. fee for funeral is waived in case of need. those wishing to do so may celebrate either the wedding or quincenera during or after a regularly scheduled Mass for no fee whatever, except whatever stipend they choose to give the priest. many convalidations are done this way.

so actually, since the charge includes wedding rehearsal or Q rehearsal, they are actually getting a "free"hour.

private baptisms are not allowed in this diocese. even when a family baptizes outside the monthly service for groups, it is not private, it is a public liturgy. for instance, a catechist with a new baby asked to have her baby baptized during CCD session so that her class could attend, since they are studying the sacrament. Deacon did a beautiful teaching before the rite, and we followed up in their class the following week, now baby is a class mascot (he also served as baby Jesus for their class Christmas pageant).

 

[whatevergirl]

When you think about it–maybe someone (business manager of parishes?) started looking at the water and electric bills–and said one day…‘we need to start charging for the use of the church after hours.’ Most parishes shut everything down, lights, air/heat, etc when not in ‘use’…when you have 200 people say, at a church for a few hours…people are using bathrooms left and right, the lights are on for an extended period, the heat or air is running non stop for a few hours…so, it would seem natural to charge a ‘stipend’ for the use of the facility.

That’s my theory

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

our parish charges the same nominal fee when the church is reserved outside of a scheduled Mass time for a wedding, quincenera, or funeral. fee for funeral is waived in case of need. Ours, too. those wishing to do so may celebrate either the wedding or quincenera during or after a regularly scheduled Mass for no fee whatever, except whatever stipend they choose to give the priest. many convalidations are done this way. Ours, too, and Old Parish.

so actually, since the charge includes wedding rehearsal or Q rehearsal, they are actually getting a "free"hour. Nifty!

private baptisms are not allowed in this diocese. even when a family baptizes outside the monthly service for groups, it is not private, it is a public liturgy. for instance, a catechist with a new baby asked to have her baby baptized during CCD session so that her class could attend, since they are studying the sacrament. Deacon did a beautiful teaching before the rite, and we followed up in their class the following week, now baby is a class mascot (he also served as baby Jesus for their class Christmas pageant).To which she said, "Awwwww…"

 

[KCT]

We’re paying thousands for our daughter’s reception. I have no problem paying a $150 fee to use the church for the wedding.

 

[YADA]

Wait, you are mixing in other non-essential things with the basic things. Musician, extra -Cantor, extra - Litrugy planning - extra. Ushers - extra. 3 hour rehersal the day before - extra. I agree with this.

However the Church already has a standard Marriage liturgy, use that or it’s extra. A small basic wedding should not “dirty” the church any more than a normal daily Mass would, flowers, decorations, etc. - extra. Normal Mass, no. Turn the Air or heat on 1/2 hour before. Walk through a day or so before, during normal business hours.

Of course I’m talking about truly active members of the parish, who actually live in the parish boundries.

I am not mixing anything. Our parish charges a cleaning fee of $100 plus the other costs and what they are for. Weddings can leave lots of cleaning that must be done before the next liturgy [and the $100 may cover most but some wedding parties leave huge messes [we have even had wedding parties that used the sacrarium for flower preparation!]. Wedding brochures and grafetti, sick guests [some party early], a miraid [sp] of cleaning issues including bathrooms etc …

My parish does not charge for Sacraments …

Other parishes may just structure the fees differently but I am sure that the costs are for costs and not for the sacrament!

 

[Rach620]

Last weekend, my fiance, mother and I were walking through the Cathedral where we will be married this summer. The huge space was sort of dim inside as we spoke to Father about the processional and where we would be kneeling in the sanctuary.

My mother asked “Will it be more light in here in August during the wedding?”

To which the sacristan responded, “Well, yes, we only have the side ‘tour lighting’ on right now.”

And I chimed in-- “Yes, mom, that’s what you’re paying for. You’re paying for them to turn on the lights–and keep this place cool in the summer!”

The cost seems steep, but as others have said, with what most Catholic couples are dishing out on weddings these days, it’s only right for ‘sought-after’ churches to ask a bit more. We are getting married where we are because it is truly meaningful to us–but the price tag certainly must keep away those who are just looking for great photos!

 

[Phemie]

Exactly! There are no “funeral planners” running around talking about how important this day is and how you only get one in your life.

But if you check the funeral home bill after a funeral you will generally find a fee for the church. Our pastor gets a cheque from the funeral home after each funeral. We saw the same thing when my parents died in another province.

 

[Joannm]

Exactly! There are no “funeral planners” running around talking about how important this day is and how you only get one in your life.

Actually, we do have “funeral planners” We call them the Ministry of Consolation. They meet with the families to prepare the funeral liturgy. This includes choosing the readings and music, giving the guidelines for readers and trying to convince them that we do not do eulogies at Catholic funerals. They take care of all that will happen in the church so that the family will not have to be concered. They even make up worship aides to be given out at mass. At the funeral they act as hosts and even do the readings and serve as EMHC if one is needed.

Most people have never given thougth to preparing a funeral, and if they are basically unchurched, this service is extreamly helpful.