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edwest2
Guest
Kids only learn from their friends if they don’t hear it at home. I heard it at home and that was that. The cool and sometimes cruel kids were a pain but I knew I’d be getting out of school regardless.
Ed
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Ed
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Mrs_V
Guest
My older children (10 & 8) know about it and wouldn’t be shocked to see a same sex couple. My youngest is five and still can’t grasp the concept.
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edwest2
Guest
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edwest2
Guest
At 5, sex was not a concept I understood. There were mommies and daddies. That was it.
Ed
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edwest2
Guest
So did I but that didn’t mean anything because the rule was “no dating until 16” and the girl didn’t seem interested. There were other girls.
Ed
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pensmama87
Guest
Right. My 5yo knows where babies grow and how they eat and that it takes a mommy and daddy to make them. That’s about it. I don’t go out of my way to hide things. I answer questions as we encounter new situations and let my kids know by words and actions that they can always come to me or their father. I’m not going to fill their heads with detailed information they can’t comprehend yet.
Let’s remember too that “one or two fringe posters said this one time” is very far from " this is the general consensus on these forums or anywhere else." Frankly, I resent being lumped in.
Another thing to keep in mind is that things work very differently in an overall functional environment. Many of us with families are working very hard to correct previous dysfunctional patterns and we’re very open about that. The idea that somehow we’re not thinking about our thoughts and actions is really, really insulting. We can come to different conclusions based on our environments and family dynamics.
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EasterJoy
Guest
People who grew up to experience same-sex attraction will not uncommonly report that they felt a profound and uncomfortable sense of being “different,” something they needed to hide from their friends. No, sexual issues are not the only issues that subject someone to that. Still, I think it is safe to say that if a child experiences an LGBT issue for the first time, it won’t be a sexual issue. It will be a feeling that they don’t fit in as a member of their own gender.
Children deeply want social lives that are predictable and comfortable. At that age, we’re self-centered and want the world to revolve around us. That can come out as an unintentionally cruel expectation that the “right” way to be is to be dead-center typical. It is also very typical for us at that age to self-segregate into boys’ and girls’ groups at play. There is a reason for gender stereotypes; they do fit the typical preferences of many kids.
If nine out of ten girls want to be fairy princesses, they’ll automatically wonder out loud what is “wrong” with the girl who doesn’t. The boys may wonder that out loud, too. If nine out of ten boys like playing sports at recess instead of role-playing, they can be pretty loud about wanting their tenth friend to fall into line and play what they want to play.
If children are not told up front that it is OK to choose something different and that decent people defend other people when they are different, it won’t occur to them to look at the issue that way. They are innocent of the damage they could be doing. They may only be aware of being a bit too bossy, not that someone could possibly be so attached to doing something they would never want to do that the person could feel bad about themselves because their friends look down on what they enjoy.
Nip that in the bud, and there might be less slinging of sexual insults when these kids get old enough to hear the word “gay” used as an insult against someone whose real “offense against the group” is not sexual orientation but failure to conform to the group’s gender stereotypes. The best self-esteem is the kind rooted in the firm belief that everyone deserves to be esteemed, just by reason of being a human being.
Rob Lowe, for instance, reported that his childhood interest in acting lead to countless put-downs implying that he was gay, starting in childhood and going right through to when he became an on-screen heartthrob in high school. To have interests that fall outside a gender stereotype and to experience same-sex attraction are two different things, but middle school children do not automatically know that. They do learn to feel ashamed about anything about themselves that is “different,” unless their group is taught how cruel it is to shame those who don’t fit in the particular box the group thinks they belong in.
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mommy_k
Guest
It depends on the child. What’s important too, even before an official teaching moment, is that solid values and kindness combined with mercy to others re modeled everyday by parents in all things, especially difficult things.
Children are like little sponges and if they see a hateful or lax attitude toward others who do not share the same religious or moral compass, they learn that too. So they learn everyday from birth how it is acceptable to treat others, and with the way the world is headed, it’s very important to share this.
Believe me when I tell you I witnessed several instances of this at catholic high school retreats. I left very sad. Obviously the parents left the hate the sin not the sinner part out if the conversation, and slot of students either thought it’s no big deal, they are not hurting anyone,or they had a hateful attitude, and this came from parents…kwim? In both cases, imho, this is not a Cathoic attitude that parents should be teaching.
Children are like little sponges and if they see a hateful or lax attitude toward others who do not share the same religious or moral compass, they learn that too. So they learn everyday from birth how it is acceptable to treat others, and with the way the world is headed, it’s very important to share this.
Believe me when I tell you I witnessed several instances of this at catholic high school retreats. I left very sad. Obviously the parents left the hate the sin not the sinner part out if the conversation, and slot of students either thought it’s no big deal, they are not hurting anyone,or they had a hateful attitude, and this came from parents…kwim? In both cases, imho, this is not a Cathoic attitude that parents should be teaching.
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praccath
Guest
We intend to teach our child that we “love the sinner, but hate the sin.” As for the best age, it is hard to say…perhaps when/if she has a question about it.
In addition, I hope to teach that Catholics are in no way to take part in gay marriage, but at the same time, we are called to love those who believe differently from us.
In addition, I hope to teach that Catholics are in no way to take part in gay marriage, but at the same time, we are called to love those who believe differently from us.
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1inICXC
Guest
Based on anthropological, psychological and biological studies, children should not be exposed to sexual information…not even innocent jokes such as " you like her, eh wink wink" and “sexy legs!” until about 12 or so when their own sexuality awakens and they can start processing this info in its rightful context.
Otherwise, experts argue that you merely awaken a curiosity that could possibly lead the child’s imagination in very dark places, as they are not ready to process it and subdue it.
Can you teach children about LGBT issues without going into the sexual aspect, not really. So what do you do? Homeschool, move , get rid of the T.V, cut out whoever you need to cut out from your and their lives.in order to save their innocence -which is MUCH more important than their sense of awareness or intellectuality or what have you!
Do not forget the words Jesus addressed to those who corrupt innocence.
Nothing distresses me more than to see parents carelessly trample over their children’s innocence because “they’ll find out anyway”. Lord have mercy on those parents on the day of judgement and heal those children! No greater injustice than to rob a child of his innocence!
I was 14 when I first fount out about oral sex. Those images plagued and traumatized me for many years. The child needs to develop many other virtues, to understand many other things and to experience the true beauty of love long before being exposed to the perversities of this world.
They need to know that good, wholesome , pure friendships exist, that their body is sacred and they need to be made aware of their great worth. They also need to know trust, safety, unconditional love and that true evil exists. They need to know that while we may have been gifted many earthly and temporary pleasures, it is the eternal ones that we are after, and eternal happiness comes with a price…and it can be lost altogether. Once your child understands all this…go ahead, plunge him into the specifics of spiritual warfare and start unveiling the schemes of the evil one.
P.s to those who say that many do NOT live out that lifestyle, than wonderful! Problem solved. No child needs to know who anyone is attracted to and no child needs to tolerate, let alone be supportive of, anyone’s physical attractions. It’s simply irrelevant and downright selfish to seek to be openly accepted for who you are, especially your weaknesses. Would anyone seek tolerance and acceptance of their gluttony, infidelity, aggression, no? There are some things in this world that need to be hidden in shame, in prayerful trust that the Good Lord, sees, understands, knows, loves and heals us. But that’s the Good Lord.
Otherwise, experts argue that you merely awaken a curiosity that could possibly lead the child’s imagination in very dark places, as they are not ready to process it and subdue it.
Can you teach children about LGBT issues without going into the sexual aspect, not really. So what do you do? Homeschool, move , get rid of the T.V, cut out whoever you need to cut out from your and their lives.in order to save their innocence -which is MUCH more important than their sense of awareness or intellectuality or what have you!
Do not forget the words Jesus addressed to those who corrupt innocence.
Nothing distresses me more than to see parents carelessly trample over their children’s innocence because “they’ll find out anyway”. Lord have mercy on those parents on the day of judgement and heal those children! No greater injustice than to rob a child of his innocence!
I was 14 when I first fount out about oral sex. Those images plagued and traumatized me for many years. The child needs to develop many other virtues, to understand many other things and to experience the true beauty of love long before being exposed to the perversities of this world.
They need to know that good, wholesome , pure friendships exist, that their body is sacred and they need to be made aware of their great worth. They also need to know trust, safety, unconditional love and that true evil exists. They need to know that while we may have been gifted many earthly and temporary pleasures, it is the eternal ones that we are after, and eternal happiness comes with a price…and it can be lost altogether. Once your child understands all this…go ahead, plunge him into the specifics of spiritual warfare and start unveiling the schemes of the evil one.
P.s to those who say that many do NOT live out that lifestyle, than wonderful! Problem solved. No child needs to know who anyone is attracted to and no child needs to tolerate, let alone be supportive of, anyone’s physical attractions. It’s simply irrelevant and downright selfish to seek to be openly accepted for who you are, especially your weaknesses. Would anyone seek tolerance and acceptance of their gluttony, infidelity, aggression, no? There are some things in this world that need to be hidden in shame, in prayerful trust that the Good Lord, sees, understands, knows, loves and heals us. But that’s the Good Lord.
J
Joe_5859
Guest
Well put.Just because it’s impossible and/or unwise to shield children from the realities of the world indefinitely, that doesn’t mean we just tell them whenever or that it is of little consequence how we go about it. Starting with the ideal is best. If life circumstances lead children to encounter certain things earlier, then you deal with that as it comes.
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DarkLight
Guest
I am assuming you are a man, however.
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edwest2
Guest
Amen. I got the information I needed when I needed it. The “alternative lifestyles” promoted heavily in the late 1960s and 1970s have proven detrimental to families in general, and young children.
Ed
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Deus_tecum
Guest
Probably the over-arching goal of the system is to game the statistics. I’m not sure how doctors word the question, or how young the kids who get asked the question are, but if they ask a young boy who he likes better, boys or girls, of course most will say boys but they means as friends. Then they could mark this down as homosexuality and bamboozle the public into thinking it is becoming more common. Perhaps in a few years they will criminalize parents who refuse to let their child explore homosexuality. Frankly doctors have no business asking anyone about their sexuality unless they do deem certain orientations to be a disease or disorder.
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Convert_in_99
Guest
Children are naturally curious and smart. What you don’t tell them, the world will. I’d say start these topics absolutely no later than eight or nine.
The Courage ministry is the perfect way to approach this. They approach it from the angle of SSA (same sex attraction) versus LGBT. Focus on some people having these struggles and temptations, but they are called to live a life of chastity, as are all persons in their own state. Even married couples must practice chastity towards each other and also much abstinence throughout the various seasons of their marriage.
These are tough times to live in. While I’m so sad to not have living children of my own, I don’t envy this aspect of parenting in the least.
The Courage ministry is the perfect way to approach this. They approach it from the angle of SSA (same sex attraction) versus LGBT. Focus on some people having these struggles and temptations, but they are called to live a life of chastity, as are all persons in their own state. Even married couples must practice chastity towards each other and also much abstinence throughout the various seasons of their marriage.
These are tough times to live in. While I’m so sad to not have living children of my own, I don’t envy this aspect of parenting in the least.
J
JoyToTheWhirled
Guest
I think it is another example of how important it is to know your children as individuals. My son is oblivious to sexuality, preferring legos. My second daughter however has identified as transgender and thus I have a whole raft of issues to deal with for her. There are only three years between them.
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1inICXC
Guest
Just how old is your daughter And where on earth did she even get this idea? Or maybe she is just hitting puberty and realizing that it is hard being a girl. Or she doesn’t like dresses and tights? Trust me, no child is transgender. These are TEMPORARY phases. Please treat them as such. Don’t take it any more seriously than necessary and address the real issues instead. She must be despising her feminity for some reason at this point and she just needs to be shown the beauty and meaning of it all.
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edwest2
Guest
I was always told to do my best, to work to the best of my ability. My role models came from the Church, my family and friends and neighbors. They guided me, helped me and we had fun together, even as we passed through rough times. Starting from the ideal is always best. Always. Should other things happen, we deal with it as best we can at the time.
Just because it’s impossible and/or unwise to shield children from the realities of the world indefinitely, that doesn’t mean we just tell them whenever or that it is of little consequence how we go about it. Starting with the ideal is best. If life circumstances lead children to encounter certain things earlier, then you deal with that as it comes.
In the past, I worked with LGBT people. There was no fanfare, no constant talk. In the 1960s, no one I knew, young or old, encouraged anyone to say anything bad about gay people. As far as bullying, I wish someone came up with the idea of no bullying back then. I and others got beat up for a list of reasons other than our orientation. Oh sure, no one was perfect. I heard negative comments about blacks and other racial/ethnic groups, but no one encouraged any bullying, much less physical abuse.
Ed
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JoyToTheWhirled
Guest
My daughter is 13. Where did she get the idea? Look at the culture around you, trans is the next big rights cookie to take a bite out of, so it is getting plenty of airtime. Trust me, my husband and I are treating it with sensitivity and firm affirmation of who she is as a young woman, but these are not easy issues with a prevailing culture, especially at school, of permissiveness.
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