Where are the clothes?

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Momof9

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Am I the only one with young ladies who has a difficulty finding clothes that fit modestly? It seems that our culture has made it clear as to how we are to be valued as women. Why must we hang out of everything we wear? Do you men like that sort of dress in our women folk? Do you resent it? Do you allow the ladies in your life to wear the skin tight, see throughs that are up to here and down to there, with the middle hanging out !?
 
Two Words: Lands End. (This isn’t an ad. I just love the modest fit and quality of their clothing.)
 
I couldn’t agree more.

The clothes that my 8 year-old daughter wants to wear are simply appalling. Of course, we don’t let her. But it is difficult to even find and purchase modest clothes at her age.

It incenses me that retailers try to sexualize girls that young. There should be total innocence at that age. Heaven help me (and her) when she reaches puberty.
 
As a father of a nine-year-old girl I am very concerned with fashion trends. My daughter dresses modestly. My wife and I teach her to respect herself. My wife shops with her and gives her good advice on what is appropriate. I think her personality also shows through in the styles she prefers. I am concerned about the other young woman, perhaps that don’t have a sense of self worth. Maybe there clothing choices are their way of getting attention. We always make our daughter aware of how special she is. She does not need to be vulgar to get noticed. She is a beautiful and special young woman and this shows through. Fashion trends come and go, but self-esteem never goes out of style.

Good luck, and God Bless!
👍
 
It sure is nice to know that others are concerned about the way our girls dress. As a mother of 3 girls and one boy I stay concerned. My oldest is 12y old and we have a horrible time finding the slightest modesty in clothes. I think sometimes there are bathing suits that leave more to the imagination than some of the so called clothes. Thanks for the Lands End tip. They are just so expensive. We have also found that Good Will has a great selection of jeans for 4 or 5 dollars. They might not be the most stylish but they cover more than major brand today. I think this is because people are emptying their closets of “out of style” clothes. Thank goodness for my second and third girls I kept my oldests’ clothes for hand me downs. We must also remember to pray for styles to change!
 
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rfk:
I couldn’t agree more.

The clothes that my 8 year-old daughter wants to wear are simply appalling. Of course, we don’t let her. But it is difficult to even find and purchase modest clothes at her age.

It incenses me that retailers try to sexualize girls that young. There should be total innocence at that age. Heaven help me (and her) when she reaches puberty.
I live in Dodgeville where Lands end is based and there are some good people that work very hard there. I also must tell you that Beth and I are always open to whatever the blessing from God, but I do thank him every now and then that it is 3 boys no girls, but who knows?

Men just dont respect women anymore, and it scares me to raise a young woman in todays world. So my prayers are with you and if we are blessed with a Girl I will be asking for yours.
 
It will unfortunately affect your boys as well. While at Church a few weeks ago a teenage girl sat in front of my son with low rise jeans on. When she went to sit down you could see directly down the back of her pants where she had on thongs. What an experience. My son was so shocked that he turn three shades of red. How is a boy suppose to learn to respect girls when everything is put out in front of him. He is only ten and already literally expose to this kind of social pressure. Also, we went to the pool today and a real sence of fear came over me as I looked around at what a boy must go through. We are doing our best to raise him well but society and its acceptance of lack of modesty sure is making it difficult!!
 
We moved to a small town for that very reason not to hide but to have some time to prepare them well. I thank CA for the pure love booklet I ordered a few of them and gave them to some parents at Church and now some of the young girls are forming a chasity club. It will be a fight for us but with parents like you and the Church as a guide the Lord will see them through.

God Bless you
 
Thanks for your support SRKDBK, and to all of you. It sure helps to know your not alone. Also there is a curriculum that helps Catholic parents teach modesty and chastity to their children from K-8th grades. It is called “The New Corinthians Curriculum”. Couple to Couple League out of Cincinnati Ohio sells it or you can probably get it from your local Catholic book store. We have found it to be a wonderful addition to include along with teaching children to dress modestly. The scripture references are so supportive and helpful in teaching children the values we all seem to be seeking
 
I am shocked by the clothes that middle school and high school girls wear. Skin tight tops, showing their midriffs, spaghetti straps, etc. I am embarassed to see girls dressed like that–what do men and boys think! What are their parents thinking??? I’ll never forget a very conservative young teacher at our Catholic school condemn the clothes that the 6 daughters of a Catholic family wore to Church. I remember thinking what a sad statement it was that the parents of the girls let them dress that way. I let my daughter wear clothes from the “in” stores but they must be loose, not body hugging.
 
My wife and I had an extremely difficult time finding a decent communion dress for my daughter. It wasn’t that dress shops didn’t have communion dresses; it was what the shop owners offered. It says allot about designer’s ideas of what is appropriate for a young girl when you can’t even find a modest dress for a Holy Sacrament. We had our chose of strapless, low cut, or (pardon me) provocative outfits, but very few wholesome dresses. I am glad my wife and I didn’t give-up and give-in to the marketing trends. Our school principal even made a point to personally thank us for setting an example of how a young girl should present herself for her First Holy Communion. After Sister spoke to us I felt proud, but at the same time a bit sad that so many girls were dressed as immodest ‘bridesmaids’.

Has anyone else had a similar experience :confused:
 
It is extremely sad that girls feel the need to dress unmodestly. I think that in many cases they think the attention they get from it is going to fulfill them. I would rather dress modestly and have someone love me for who I am as a person and love me purely than have someone who wants me only because of lust. The guy I dated for a time proved to me that there are decent guys out there…who prefer a chaste and modest woman over someone who wears revealing clothing.

Sadly in today’s world I see that unless they are dressed in revealing clothing and wearing make up they don’t feel beautiful, and I think many women compare themselves to others not realizing how detremental that is, and how likely it is that the same girl you compare yourself to is comparing herself to you. A group of my friends and I recently talked about this.

I am sad to say that I fall into this trap. Even knowing that clothing and make up don’t make me…that those aren’t what’s important, I do feel how easy it is to feel not beautiful. It is something I struggle with frequently (especially lately for some reason) no matter how much I try to avoid it.

I am thankful that all of the young girls mentioned in this post seem to have role models who are looking out for them!
 
hk102003–Finding the right balance between focusing on physical beauty and spiritual beauty is a struggle for young women–not just today but in the past too. Unfortunately, popular culture focuses almost exclusively on physical appearances, especially for girls and women. Hang in there, believe in yourself, and become the best person you can. Loving yourself and being comfortable with yourself is contagious. People like being around others who have come to that peace and acceptance. Good things will happen with time. I say this from personal experience which I share with my daughter and anyone else who will listen!
 
La Chiara:
hk102003–Finding the right balance between focusing on physical beauty and spiritual beauty is a struggle for young women–not just today but in the past too. Unfortunately, popular culture focuses almost exclusively on physical appearances, especially for girls and women. Hang in there, believe in yourself, and become the best person you can. Loving yourself and being comfortable with yourself is contagious. People like being around others who have come to that peace and acceptance. Good things will happen with time. I say this from personal experience which I share with my daughter and anyone else who will listen!
Thank you for your words of encouragement! I just wish it wasn’t such an up and down rollercoaster ride. It can be depressing sometimes. 😦 Especially because I feel bad for feeling that way because I know deep down that I am a child of God and that alone makes me beautiful. Sometimes, though, I just can’t shake the feeling of not being pretty or beautiful or whatever. (It even manifests itself sometimes as feeling inadequate in other ways such as intellectually or that I’m a bad friend…although that might seem strange). I just thank God that he’s provided me with enough strength and trust in Him that I don’t compromise my morals to fit some cookie cutter image.
 
I always tell my girls that if thay are beautiful its because of the love for Jesus thay have in thir hearts.

And speaking as a Catholic man a modestly dressed woman can still knock you off your feet. 😃 My wifes looks did cach my eye. However it was her faith that got my heart.

Also as a marred Catholic Man let me tell all you wifes out there one more thing. Whin we look at you we still see the beutafull young brides we marred. No matter how long ago that may have been 😛 .
 
My daughter is only 8, and I haven’t yet really had to deal with this. Oh how I cringe when I see the 9-17 year olds walk down my street. I blame TV mostly. But then I blame it for alot.
 
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Shellac:
I always tell my girls that if thay are beutaful its because of the love for Jesus thay have in thir hearts.

And speaking as a Catholic man a modestly dressed woman can still knock you off your feet. 😃 My wifes looks did cach my eye. However it was her faith that got my heart.
🙂 I think I’ll have to remember that.
 
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Sadie:
Thanks for your support SRKDBK, and to all of you. It sure helps to know your not alone. Also there is a curriculum that helps Catholic parents teach modesty and chastity to their children from K-8th grades. It is called “The New Corinthians Curriculum”. Couple to Couple League out of Cincinnati Ohio sells it or you can probably get it from your local Catholic book store. We have found it to be a wonderful addition to include along with teaching children to dress modestly. The scripture references are so supportive and helpful in teaching children the values we all seem to be seeking
I’m not a parent, and have never even babysat anybody. Have no kids anywhere in my life, which is okay…

Yet, I have STRONG concerns about what the American culture is teaching children.

And for the dearth of modest clothing available in stores.

I still will NOT wear even a two-piece swimsuit because 2-piece swimsuits always look like “underwear” to me.

As for that book… not every city or town has a Catholic bookstore.

However, I did a search on Barnes & Noble bookstore’s site, and found it.

search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=O9t1VxriGO&isbn=0926412167&itm=1

They have only used copies available, but those should be at least cheaper than new ones.

search.barnesandnoble.com/OopBooks/UsedBook.asp?userid=O9t1VxriGO&ean=2782212618775&title=New+Corinthians+Curriculum&author=Judy+J%2E+Harris&WID=54841047&rFlag=Y

It’s out of stock at www.amazon.com. A good thing, I guess… folks are buying it?!
 
OH my!! I so agree. THe clothes for girls are trashy–even for little ones–like my 4 year old!! I’ve been mortified by girls’ clothes since my now-nine year old went to kindergarten a few years ago.

What to do?
  1. Shop where the clothes are more modest–LAnds End is great–and they sell Lands End at Sears these days. More affordable than LE used to be.
  2. Learn to sew.
  3. Complain!! Apparently an 11 year old girl wrote to Nordstrom’s recently, complaining about the immodest clothes for girls her age, and they came out with a NEW LINE of more modest clothes for girls!!
  4. Guard your sons’ eyes. I have twins, 14 years old, and it is a shocker to see how girls their age dress.
and
  1. Pray.
I guess that oughta be #1. 😉
 
Again, to all of you. What wonderful people you are. With the support of one another we should be able to make a difference. Kristalyn, thank you for reminding us to pray. Especially during this immodest summer season. It should be the first thing we do thank you for that reminder!!
Writing the stores works as well some of my friends have confirmed this but I have to admit I have never done it. This would be a good project for my and me to do together this summer. Thanks and may God Bless us all and give us the strength to fight these battles.
 
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