What exactly is “missionary dating”? Does that mean dating multiple women concurrently without them knowing?
Well, there are “mail order brides”. They aren’t shipped in physical boxes, but they’re certainly being used as objects.
Missionary dating is dating a non-Christian (or even a non-Catholic) with the hope that you can “save” them or convert them.
It’s more than noble–it’s what we are called to do. Also, I don’t think that analogy applies because God would never send you a non-Christian to marry in the first place
That would directly contradict His word. And it’s just asking for trouble. But most people (including myself depending on the day you ask me) are too impatient to wait for God’s best. It’s much easier to go out there and do what you want. While it *may *work, it won’t be God’s best.This was great. This is how I’ve always felt but I never had the words to express it.I strongly reccommend that you read the following catechism on vocations (particularly the part on married life).
lxoa.wordpress.com/2010/09/01/a-catechism-on-vocations/
There are basically two types of marriages that a person can enter into. The first is when you are called to marriage and you marry the spouse that God has chosen for you. This type of marriage would serve to make you a better Catholic… This type of marriage would bring you closer to heaven and strengthen the bond that you have with God. It is important to note that, in this type of marriage, God would never lead you to marry a spouse who wasn’t already a practicing Catholic who accepts all the teachings of the church. In this type of marriage, you would also never take your spouse for lustful reasons (you would enter into this type of marriage primarly because you want to do God’s will… the same reason why a priest would enter into the priesthood). Remember what Sara said in the book of Tobias:
Tobit 3:16-18 - Source: biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Tobit+3&version=DRA
So, when we consider this, what purpose would we have to actively seek a spouse? Our purpose for taking a spouse is to follow God’s will… why would we ever want to fast-track such a thing? That’s not to say that one shouldn’t go on dates and be personable with others… But to specifically search for a spouse on your own with your own timeline is akin to saying to God “I want to do things my way, not yours”.
The second type of marriage is when two people get married who have not been called to marriage. This would include a Catholic dating a non-Catholic (or a non-practicing Catholic). As mentioned in the catechism, these types of marriages are extremely dangerous to one’s soul and can greatly inhibit one’s path to salvation (for example, one spouse might expect the other to commit mortal sin by using contraception or using natural family planning without having a truly serious reason). To enter into such a marriage one would have to actively reject God from their lives and decide to do things their own way.
I hope this helps.
Thank you.So, basically, if you spot a nice-looking girl leaving church without company and there is no wedding ring in sight, you need to move in for the kill.
I have a question. What is the difference between being alone and being lonely? o:
I know you weren’t asking me but… I wanted to tackle the question.
Salvation is top priority. Back in the time of the Apostles even providing food for the hungry was not the top priority and the Apostles eventually ordained deacons to deal with that work in order to free themselves so they could focus on preaching (but it still must have been a big priority if specifically ordained ministers were tasked with it). And food for the hungry is much more important than spouses for the single. Especially “the right spouses”, as in helping everybody find someone special enough, soulmate, whatever (for people who won’t marry just about any faithful Catholic but want to be attracted to personality etc.).
Exactly, chevalier! Maybe this makes me a weird woman, but I wouldn’t find it creepy if after a few weeks of a man seeing me regularly at Mass introduced himself. I attend a Mass at which the priest encourages us to greet one another, so we know with whom we are celebrating. Now, the traditionalists haaaate this (because it’s in addition to the Sign of Peace…and don’t get them started), but hey…to me it provides opportunities for men to be bold.
Example: after Mass - "Hi, B… right? [something humorously self-deprecating about the perceived cultural awkwardness followed by -‘lovely singing’ or ‘funny homily, eh’ or ‘there’s donuts, want one?’]Completely with you. We need Catholic yentas!
Also, my non-demonimational, semi-evangelical Christian friends always speak highly of mentor couples - new young marrieds in the congregation who still socially embrace the singletons…and even set people up! Often in my Catholic social world the newly marrieds are rarely seen again (unless you’re also newly married, and eventually, newly pregnant/parenting). It’s especially unfortunate because the single men aren’t getting positive modeling of married life, only reinforcing the pleasures of the single life.But this doesn’t seem to make sense. God won’t simply send us spouses. We need to make ourselves available to eligible individuals and possibly date several people to find a compatible spouse.
God will very much send you a spouse if you are called to marriage!
Perhaps she’d be impressed by your courage if you tried to chat her up on the sidewalk outside the church after leaving mass, no? If you were to go to mass daily, and you see her there too, that would give you a reason to talk. “Hey, I see you here every day. You also appear to be wearing scrubs. Are you involved in health care?” There’s a convo starter! (Though don’t sound as lame as I did here
)This is a fantastic idea!
You guys actually say each other’s names? The people at the church I attend look like they’re barely holding back their disgust when they have to say “peace be with you” to strangers. I’m scared to even look at some of them for fear of the barely contained scowls.
But we have to actually get out and look if he is to help us find a spouse. Again, it’s a three-man effort. God, Man, Woman. The man and the woman have to not sit around playing World of Warcraft all day, have to go outside, have to open their mouths and talk to one another, etc. You aren’t going to be pleasantly surprised one day when a spouse-in-a-box® magically appears on your doorstep.God will very much send you a spouse if you are called to marriage!
The trouble is that we live in a society that tells us that we have to “do for ourselves” to avoid catastrophy. It rejects the Truth that God is intimately present in each and every decision that we make in our daily lives and that He never gives us more then we can handle. Nothing happens by coincidence and it’s only when we give into the temptation of Satan that our lives become complicated. There are two things and only two things that we need to worry about in this life, that is: to love God with our whole heart and to love our neighbour by extension. If we can do these two things perfectly, then God will handle absolutely everything else!
I’ve gotta say…this is not what I’ve been taught, nor is it what even what other Christians are taught. There’s an article on boundless.org about this very subject. Because God is outside of time, He knows if/who you’ll marry or won’t depending on your actions or those of other people. It’s mainly up to you and the specific person to discern if you are called to each other to make the sacrament - not “there was only one person who could be your spouse, and you missed the boat.”
My priest discourages it as it puts the Catholic spouse at risk for not being able to fully practice his/her faith (Being Catholic is more than just going to Church on Sundays. It’s a lifestyle), and makes it difficult to raise the children Catholic.
Agreed, but I think one’s reasons for not playing Warcraft should be out of love for God and for one’s neighbour (not to find a spouse). We need to seek to grow in charity and love and when we do this we will find that God will work for us in other ways!
I’ve done university, public transport, courthouse… but church steps are kinda extreme. One thing to say here is that the weirdness of the situation includes the fact that the purpose of striking a conversation with a strange woman is very obvious, while at that point you don’t know anything much about her and are certaintly not in a position to make commitments. On the other hand, I think if I actually had an opportunity to see some positive behaviours or signs of character to my liking, I probably would dare it and probably would pull it off. But it’s a weird thing to do.Perhaps she’d be impressed by your courage if you tried to chat her up on the sidewalk outside the church after leaving mass, no? If you were to go to mass daily, and you see her there too, that would give you a reason to talk. “Hey, I see you here every day. You also appear to be wearing scrubs. Are you involved in health care?” There’s a convo starter! (Though don’t sound as lame as I did here
Well, get Catholic and get things going with the girls!
Warcraft was in 1994. You surely mean World of Warcraft, don’t you? Unless you play Warcraft 3. Some people still do. I was in a Warcraft 2 clan once (studying law for exams was not comparatively as interesting back in 2004).Agreed, but I think one’s reasons for not playing Warcraft should be out of love for God and for one’s neighbour (not to find a spouse). We need to seek to grow in charity and love and when we do this we will find that God will work for us in other ways!
Thanks. As I said, the stopping factor is that you only really see a person’s looks and some samples of behaviour plus the knowledge the person at least sometimes goes to church (well, you presume always when needed but still), while the move is kinda obvious, so it would be a bad letdown if you later became less interested.
Yes, of course. Plus, plenty of Catholics are converts. Plenty of men themselves “have baggage” too. It wouldn’t be too hard to find someone in a similar situation or in a healthier situation but with an understanding.