To put it bluntly, women are terrible at finding good men because their definitions of “good man” is generally an impossible standard. Any man that might meet it is already taken and unless you’re an 18 year old with supermodel looks and a perfect personality he’s not taken by you, because a man like that has tons of options and marries a good woman quick. Study after study shows that women rate 80% of men as “below average”, which is a mathematical impossibility. Men, for their part, are interested mostly in virgin women age 16-20, because they are driven by biological concerns as women’s fertility is a precious and perishable thing. If you’re over 20 years old, understand that a man who picks you is settling for you, so you should be looking to settle as well.
Take some time and realistically evaluate yourself. A lot of women these days take such a selfish attitude towards relationships and a lot of the 80% of men women consider “below average” are giving up on women entirely. It’s just not worth it to get in a relationship with a woman who is always looking around for something better, unhappy and ungrateful for what she has. I blame the secular and materialistic social environment, and all the messages women get about dating a whole lot of guys, sleeping around, having fun while they’re young, and not getting married until very late in life.
I suggest a lot of prayer and self-reflection. Ask God to help you be humble, and grateful. Focus on making yourself more attractive, but not vain. Ask not to be sent a man, ask to be sent to a man that you can be charitable and selfless with. Focus on charity and giving to others. Learn to love as much as possible, even when it is hard, and serve others without thought of reward. Meditate on the traditional wedding vows. They don’t merely say “for better, for richer, in health”. A relationship is about giving. It is about sacrifice. It is about being okay with flaws because we are all flawed. Meditate on the purpose of the Sacrament of Matrimony. It is not about meeting somebody who meets all your needs, it is about striving daily to meet the needs of someone else, and about bringing children into the world and giving them what they need. It’s about sometimes failing in those goals, but being determined to do better.
If you truly make an effort to better yourself and your relationship with God, a man may find you. He will be just as flawed as you, but if you truly have made yourself a better person, you will be okay with that, and very grateful that he is willing to overlook your own flaws and love you anyway.
