Where to find a good man

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Cruciferi said:
Most of my coworkers see marriage and relationships as disposable
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That’s interesting. I don’t believe I know anyone, believer or not, who considers marriage to be easily disposable. A divorce is generally a pretty harrowing thing for people and it also has the potential to seriously disrupt the finances of most people who aren’t rich.
 
Hebrews12 said:
If you’re over 20 years old, understand that a man who picks you is settling for you, so you should be looking to settle as well.
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Um, what country or century are you from? Clearly you are not from the 20th or 21st century and you don’t live in the USA, or at least not in any area where people get college educations and graduate and move out of their parents’ homes at about ages 22-25.
 
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I think you need to meet God half way. I know lot’s of females (fundamentalist protestant) with ultra high standards who have been single their whole lives and are now getting unlikely that they could have children in time, even if they met someone tomorrow. The truth is that a guy with ultra high standards could do better than them. I’m not throwing mud at women here, i just personally don’t know any guys in this situation. I’m not ashamed to say that both me and my wife made compromises from the spouse specification we would have written age 18. We’re extremely happy though and frankly more mature in the sense that nothing we compromised on was that important.
 
@Happy1033 and feel free to disregard @AlNg questions - he’s a good chap but simply hasn’t realized that posing those questions constitutes “indiscretion” in this specific case and “impudence”. Nothing is to be gained by answering, and someone posing personal questions like that is sure to judge and add nothing of gain.
 
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Happy1033 said:
My Church offers absolutely nothing for its single community.
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Then find another parish that does.

I am a little confused by the passivity.

I agree with the sentiment of @(name removed by moderator). Do the things you find fulfilling. If God has a mate for you they will be there.
 
This is cliched advice, but I met my husband when I was about ready to stop looking. I had a clear direction for my life and he liked and respected that. Don’t go to just singles events - if your parish has events geared toward young adults, go to those. You can mix and mingle and maybe something will come of it, but just go to enjoy it.

Also, my husband was not a practicing Catholic when we started dating…neither was I, really. We brought each other back to the faith. Maybe you’re called to partner with someone who’s not practicing, or who is part of another faith. If they’re willing to respect your religious views I’d say that person might be worth a try.
 
I understand where you are coming from. I do not meet practicing Catholics that much irl so I went to online dating. For the Catholic dating site, I receive views and few messages. I also take initiative but so far what I get are the sound of crickets or a polite thank you, but nothing more. For the seculsr site, I receive quite a number of messages in general. Guy messages me so I respond. After a while, could be days or even months, no more convo. I find myself also steering the convo, because if I don’t, it would have ended before it even started.

I also want to meet a practicing Catholic, but realized I might be called to someone who is not or one who isn’t even Christian. No idea how that is gonna work, but who knows. I don’t worry about the situation anymore. When I get married I would be very happy and thankful, but even now, I have a lot to be thankful for, praise God.

A lot of singles are annoyed with the advice or stuff they receive, and I get that. I don’t get annoyed with thr usual tripe singles hear. The one thing that miffs me is when I am perceived as doing nothing when I am doing all I could, simply because I don’t talk about it. All I can think is, God knows my efforts.

Think about it, you hear of success stories on dating websites. Or successful entrepreneurs. You hear about them failing countless times, and they keep on trying. But who reports about unsuccess stories?
 
I’ve heard complaints that all the good Catholic guys are becoming priests.

Some truth to that probably…
 
Lookingforjoy said:
Maybe you’re called to partner with someone who’s not practicing
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I thought about saying that but it’s a bit of a long shot finding guys who can accept a chaste relationship. However, if the OP is willing to make a swift decision on marriage then i know non-religious guys who would be chaste for 9-12 months.
 
Happy1033 said:
Am I asking too much?
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You are not asking to much. You are asking the wrong question.

The question isn’t where are the good men, because they are definitely there. The question is how do I prepare for the vocation you are calling me to live?
 
AlNg said:
if so, that means that she began computer dating at age 17. To me, that seems a bit young to be looking for men on an internet dating site?
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:roll_eyes:

It was 12 years ago and in any event is completely irrelevant to a woman in her late 20s or early 30s now. You’re not her dad, and whatever she did at age 17 is long in the past.
 
fin said:
but realized I might be called to someone who is not or one who isn’t even Christian.
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Hey @fin big detail here, you are called to vocation for state of life and are called to a number of things…You are however free.
 
To the OP: Try a good, sincere prayer to St. Joseph. It worked for my mom and she didn’t even say the prayer for herself, her sister said it for her.
 
DeepDeepTrouble3 said:
CatholicMatch is not good? I would consider moving to Chicago and going to St. John Cantius to find a spouse.
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Not productive, but lots of friends there. If someone in your parish sees it, they might think of someone worthy for you.
 
Interesting points of view. I dont have an answer for the person who posted the question. I only can advice that it is important to practice physical activities, because they are very good to improve the mood, for example: running, walking, gimnastics, football soccer, etc. Also it is important to avoid being too focused on something and enjoy the little things of life (to take fresh air, walking in the park, etc).
 
Sergius said:
Interesting points of view. I dont have an answer for the person who posted the question. I only can advice that it is important to practice physical activities, because they are very good to improve the mood, for example: running, walking, gimnastics, football soccer, etc. Also it is important to avoid being too focused on something and enjoy the little things of life (to take fresh air, walking in the park, etc).
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…

👍👍

Yes! The solution to wringing your hands is actively doing something.
 
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