Who do you love more ,your spouse or your kids

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Inspired by the question asked by the lady the other day .I am neither married nor have kids .
 
Love is love… I don’t think there can be a “more” or “less” scenario on love.

But to answer your question in a different way…
Marriage is a Sacrament. Children are the *result *from that Sacrament, but they are not the Sacrament itself.

But love isn’t competing…
 
john6565 said:
Inspired by the question asked by the lady the other day .I am neither married nor have kids .
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What was the point of her question?

Love for a spouse is different than love for one’s children. You’re married to your spouse for the rest of your life, but not to your children.
 
I don’t think the question is worded in a way that I can answer accurately.

Most of us love lots of people. Our spouses, children, other relatives and friends. We “like” some people more than others. We are obligated to put other’s needs before our own in some people more than others.

So, I would say that ideally one’s spouse is to come before, i.e., their wants and needs are to be primary, before the children’s wants and needs. That doesn’t have to do with personal preference as in a “feeling” of love (or liking) one person or another at any given time.
 
The work of loving your spouse includes loving your children together, even if those are your spouse’s children from a previous relationship. Likewise, it is also vital to the work of raising children properly, and even vital to being a role model to adult children, to have the best relationship possible with their other parent. You cannot neglect one without neglecting all.

There are going to be times, however, when loving all of them will require doing some things that not any of them are going to like! Actually, the only one you may put last in your family is you, and even that has its limits, because you cannot get blood out of a tired and used-up old turnip.
 
Apples and oranges. Husband’s opinion matters more than kids’ opinions, but the kids’ needs come first. They are dependent, my husband is a grown man.

I’ve been asked that horrible question - if you could only save one person in an emergency, your child or your husband - who would it be? Hands down, I’d save my child. And I think that’s normal for a mother to have that instinct, and most fathers would want it to be so.

I wouldn’t say I love my kids more, but I can see myself eventually carrying on after the death of my husband in a way that I would not be able to if I lost one of my kids.
 
john6565 said:
Inspired by the question asked by the lady the other day .I am neither married nor have kids .
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Is there a difference?

A man and a woman bound by matrimony are no longer two but one. What binds them is love. And their children are that very love that unites them.

This is why the family is seen as an image of the Blessed Trinity.
 
Your spouse. Both my parents love each other more than they love their children. This is part of the natural order.
 
This is where I was going to go.

Deacon, were you perhaps inspired by last weeks’ gospel when Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him?
 
dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1185105/A-mothers-confession-Hate-I-love-husband-MORE-children.html

I read this a couple of years ago and I never forgot it. I hope that one day that is me. The part where she talks about how if she lost one of her children she would be devastated, but that there would be hope for a happy future with her husband is something that I hope rings true for me throughout my own life. I firmly believe that the love, commitment, devotion, and everything else that comes with being married should trump the love, commitment, and devotion of a parent-child relationship.
 
Don’t have kids yet, but when I do, I will love my spouse more.

The Church teaches that we are actually supposed to love our spouse more than our kids.

They made dang sure we knew that in the mandatory pre-cana retreat we went to.
 
Yikes. I don’t know any moms that would save anyone over their own child - and yes, I would kill my husband if he saved me instead of one of our kids!

Sorry, I guess I am in the minority here. I think losing a spouse is always less tragic than losing a child. I assume my husband feels the same.
 
Both DH & me are in agreement that for both of us, DS comes first.
And this is fine.
We know it is supposed to be God, Spouse, kids, …
But we are God, son, spouse,…
 
JackieMom said:
Yikes. I don’t know any moms that would save anyone over their own child - and yes, I would kill my husband if he saved me instead of one of our kids!

Sorry, I guess I am in the minority here. I think losing a spouse is always less tragic than losing a child. I assume my husband feels the same.
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I think we are all naturally inclined to love our child more than our spouse… and to put our children’s lives above that of our spouse. It’s instinctive I think.

Loving our spouses more than our children, and putting our spouse above our children, is supposed to be a challenge… just like doing the right thing is usually a challenge.

I’m not a mom yet, so it’s easy for me to say all this now. Give me a couple years and we’ll see how good I am about it lol. 🙂
 
I do not think that that example is fair. I may love the spouse more but decide to save the child.
 
Apart from hypothetical boating accidents (in which case I’d save my children, since my wife is a strong swimmer), I don’t see the need to weigh my love for my wife vs my children.

When I pray to God, it is that He will help me be the best husband and best father that I can be. I don’t aim to be a really good husband and adequate father, or OK husband and superb father. I want to do my best at both and give them all the love I can (even though I regularly fall short).

Of course, on any given day, I may *like *some members of my family more than others. That is when the choice to love is most important.
 
underacloud said:
Apart from hypothetical boating accidents (in which case I’d save my children, since my wife is a strong swimmer), I don’t see the need to weigh my love for my wife vs my children.

When I pray to God, it is that He will help me be the best husband and best father that I can be. I don’t aim to be a really good husband and adequate father, or OK husband and superb father. I want to do my best at both and give them all the love I can (even though I regularly fall short).

Of course, on any given day, I may *like *some members of my family more than others. That is when the choice to love is most important.
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👍👍👍

I think the point is that in order to be a great father, you must be a great husband first… and likewise, in order to best bring up your children, you must have a healthy marriage. I think that’s part of the reason why the Church teaches to put our spouses first.
 
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