M
michaelArc
Guest
I’m a Catholic revert but I’ve been having thoughts of leaving the church again.
I had come back to the faith in search of answers to my depression that ruined my life. I’ve been a shadow of my former self ever since. But through God’s grace, I’m here today because I was completely resolved at one point that life wasn’t worth living.
But now I live out of obligation to my daughter, but with little joy and no hope for the future. I feel like I’m buried under my cross. I don’t want to suffer for the rest of my life in the hopes that I will be redeemed
when I die. I’m a brutal sinner, plagued by weak faith and often live in regret because of the affects of my decisions caused by my mental issues. Endless novenas, praying the rosary and weekly confessions and very little has changed over the years. All I ask for is the opportunity to use my gifts to the best of my ability and to support my family. I have received signal graces, but I’m beginning to wonder if God is calling me in a different direction.
Where I live in The Netherlands, Catholicism is dead. My church consists mainly of tourists and expats that only stay in the country for awhile. There is little camaraderie among people here that I feel like an outsider. I feel so alone and often times empty during mass.
I was recently approached by two people on the street asking if I would like to join their non denominational Christian church. They embraced me and prayed for me, and I nearly broke down in public. They made me feel welcome and have even since reached out to me.
I reminisce about a time I visited my cousin’s church, which was also a non denominational church. These are country folk and to be frank, I found it a bit creepy that the service felt like I was watching a game show. But I felt welcomed when I was introduced and there was a real Christian attitude among everyone. These are simple people with simple lives, and they use analogies of hills with peaks and valleys to describe life. They have no interest in deep philosophical discussions, talking about the transfiguration or the sacraments.
I admire my cousin, who has also gone through more than anyone I know. Her mother died when she was in her early teens, her father a decade later and than her younger sister. She developed an auto-immune disease as a result of all the stress and now she is on the verge of bankruptcy as they need money to pay for her husband’s cancer treatments. Yet she plugs on without complaint, full of hope and optimism and often talks about her personal relationship with God.
I will admit that the Catholic church is the fullness of Truth. But I also believe God embraces all Christians, regardless of the Truth. I can only ascertain this through my experience with my cousin and her faith. Perhaps meeting these strangers is his way of giving me direction and fellowship that is sorely lacking in my life.
Please pray for me.
I had come back to the faith in search of answers to my depression that ruined my life. I’ve been a shadow of my former self ever since. But through God’s grace, I’m here today because I was completely resolved at one point that life wasn’t worth living.
But now I live out of obligation to my daughter, but with little joy and no hope for the future. I feel like I’m buried under my cross. I don’t want to suffer for the rest of my life in the hopes that I will be redeemed
when I die. I’m a brutal sinner, plagued by weak faith and often live in regret because of the affects of my decisions caused by my mental issues. Endless novenas, praying the rosary and weekly confessions and very little has changed over the years. All I ask for is the opportunity to use my gifts to the best of my ability and to support my family. I have received signal graces, but I’m beginning to wonder if God is calling me in a different direction.
Where I live in The Netherlands, Catholicism is dead. My church consists mainly of tourists and expats that only stay in the country for awhile. There is little camaraderie among people here that I feel like an outsider. I feel so alone and often times empty during mass.
I was recently approached by two people on the street asking if I would like to join their non denominational Christian church. They embraced me and prayed for me, and I nearly broke down in public. They made me feel welcome and have even since reached out to me.
I reminisce about a time I visited my cousin’s church, which was also a non denominational church. These are country folk and to be frank, I found it a bit creepy that the service felt like I was watching a game show. But I felt welcomed when I was introduced and there was a real Christian attitude among everyone. These are simple people with simple lives, and they use analogies of hills with peaks and valleys to describe life. They have no interest in deep philosophical discussions, talking about the transfiguration or the sacraments.
I admire my cousin, who has also gone through more than anyone I know. Her mother died when she was in her early teens, her father a decade later and than her younger sister. She developed an auto-immune disease as a result of all the stress and now she is on the verge of bankruptcy as they need money to pay for her husband’s cancer treatments. Yet she plugs on without complaint, full of hope and optimism and often talks about her personal relationship with God.
I will admit that the Catholic church is the fullness of Truth. But I also believe God embraces all Christians, regardless of the Truth. I can only ascertain this through my experience with my cousin and her faith. Perhaps meeting these strangers is his way of giving me direction and fellowship that is sorely lacking in my life.
Please pray for me.
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