Why being a virgin is hard

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OsculeturMeOsculo said:
The vocation to marriage seems to be a bit overated.
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Not so! None of the sacrements are overrated. 7 years and 4 kids later I’d still scream it from the rooftops. Marriage just keeps getting better! No one will be without troubles, but to be loved by another person their whole life through, to know God meant that person for you, to participate in bringing life into the world…words cannot do it justice. Underrated if anything.
 
A good marriage is a gift.

However I see most of my friends and family struggling with dysfunctional marriages and I wonder if such a thing as a happy marriage exists.

If it does, I know I will never experience it.
 
:cry: I’m so sorry you feel that way Sarcelle. I don’t know enough about your situation to know what your vocation or living situation might be.

I agree it can seem like families all around us are falling apart, but then there is the church. You befriend other Catholic married couples who at any sign of trouble would rally around you and tell you to fight for your marriage. Love you through your pain without hating your spouse as a more secular friend might. And try to be those people for others. My husband and I aren’t without the occassional drunken spat or even sober spat but the church has been there for us to help us learn to love eachother better.
 
Yes, I think too many people feel it is supposed to be ‘automatic’. One should no more blindly assume one will/should get married than one should assume one will become a Benedictine Monk. The sacrament of marriage should be taken exactly as seriously, and with as much trepidation, as that of taking on a clerical rule.

Too many people treat marriage and children as though it were joining a bridge club - and, no surprise, they leave them just as frequently.
 
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I’m taking it a day at a time, which is easier said than done.

I look at my extended family and my generation compared to my parents’ are either divorced or never married.

Ironically, the strong and happy marriages if you can call it that, in my extended family, among my cousins, happen to be same sex marriages.
 
Know that I am praying for you! There are guys out there who will respect your decision to remain virgin until marriage. You maybe just looking in the wrong places or maybe it is the guys you are into. I don’t know enough about your situation to say.

As a guy I totally respect a lady’s choice to wait to marriage, yes we are our there, society would be a lot better place if we all did that but thanks to TV and networks like MTV they are brainwashing our nations and the worlds youth into thinking that being sexually active before marriage is normal and good.

Whom I am today and whom I was in my early 20s are two totally different guys. The 20s me playing in semi pro rock and metal bands was the manwh##re. The person I am today, well still into the music, but more into living my faith these days. The are young guys out there who are not like the young me, lol. Trust in GOD he will help you find your guy.

P.S. if they can’t wait then they are not worth your time.
 
I heard Father Larry Richards is a virgin.
He freely admits it.
He’s a tough, no nonsense, type of Priest.
 
It’s ironic, but you have right now, what so people would give everything they have, to go back to. Divorce is so high because the magic that should have been celebrated on their wedding night was long gone before they walked down the isle. They have comparisons to make now.

This doesn’t mean that one cant repent, get married had have a good marriage, but it is much harder when their innocence is long gone. My parents were married for 57 years. They were totally devoted to each other. No one seems to know or care what divorce does to the kids and each other any more.

If we had all followed God’s wishes, we would have all been so much more happy then we are now. Now everyone thinks of the moment. Keep the precious gift you have now, the seed of what will be a precious and wonderful life! I can see that you are lonely and worried, but you are doing the right thing, not the old fashioned thing. You will never have any regrets by waiting, not like the regrets you will have if you don’t.

Though it may not seem like it now, your chances of happiness and a fulfilling life are not dim right now, quite the opposite. When God does send Mr. Right, your marriage will be sealed in haven in ways that most people can only dream about.
 
Personally, whenever I admit to being a virgin I feel like I’m bragging.
If other people don’t agree - well, that’s their problem.
 
It’s not the same for guys lol

If a guy says that to anyone people are just like, dude…
 
Again - that’s their mistake. Try not to take opinions which are a product of unrepentant sin and deep heresy (which, to be honest, a huge part of modern cultures invariably are) too seriously. If anything, we should be the ones mocking them, who are trading in their celibacy for simplistic indulgences. They’re no different than drug addicts in this respect.

People should not be embarrassed by their virtues (nor overly proud of them), and when the culture attacks them - attack the culture. When there is any conflict between the teachings of the Catholic church and mass society/media, the latter are 100% always wrong.
 
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AnnaTheCat said:
Personally, whenever I admit to being a virgin I feel like I’m bragging.
If other people don’t agree - well, that’s their problem.
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Whilst pride is a sin there is absolutely nothing wrong with living as God calls us to do and in being unafraid to let people know that.

There is SO much pressure to sin and such an assumption that everyone does, that you are strange if you don’t that I think it would be a very good thing if more people openly and confidently professed that they value their purity.
 
I guess this puts thing in a new perspective. I have or think of the same situation and I’m a guy who is 22 years old. And I can tell you, that I know a lot of men who are also like me, though they aren’t catholic they are like me in that practice. If he truly is a Catholic, then I wouldn’t think that sex is the issue, because it could be something or you might just be overthinking it.
 
⬆️⬆️ Second this and to the OP: please try to overcome what “girls are saying” about relationships and life in general. Just because those girls “did it” does not make them all-knowledgeable about sex, love or life in general. Also doesn’t make them capable of reading minds of guys. The world is full of single girls who know a lot about sex.
 
Judging by the conversation I have heard at work a lot of women get most of their ideas about men from television, quasi-pornographic magazines (like Cosmopolitan) and gradeschool rumors, lol.
 
Praying for you!

As a guy, I definitely don’t expect anything from my girlfriend that is pushing any boundaries but a little kiss on the cheek makes me feel loved and appreciated.
 
Carissima, you are on the right track. There is nothing wrong with desiring to remain a virgin until marriage. Keep your standards high. I certainly respect you and the struggle you face. I am glad that you are willing to face it.
 
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