Why do I seem to attract the wrong sort of guy

[chevalier]

I guess what I meant to say is this…when you go to the singles sites–live Ave Maria and CatholicSingles, and you’re filling out the part for children–you’re given different choices to select–from Want children to undecided to Don’t Want. They do NOT have an option of “unable to have children”–so that’s why I put “Don’t Want” on these online questionnaires, because that’s the closest to the truth in my mind on how to fill these forms out.

I think the closest to the truth is if you would like to have children if you were able to. Being unable to is not the same as wanting. I’m surprised that CatholicSingles actually allow the option of getting dates while not wanting children, i.e. dating while excluding one of the goods of marriage (faith, sacrament, progeny). I believe that not wanting children means one shouldn’t pursue romantic relationships in the light of Catholic theology, so a site named CatholicSingles shouldn’t accommodate that. It’s a bit like allowing the option to tick, “I consider myself Catholic but reject the teaching on birth control/premarital intercourse/whatever.”

 

[dulcissima]

I like excitment to a point. A challenge…no not really. I’m a big believer in better single and happy then married and miserable.

The worst of it is there’s guy who I do like but he’s divorced. It took him several years to make move…(.I didn’t know he was divorced till after he saw my profile on match and sent me an email. Sometimes being Catholic is really hard… But I’m thinking since I really like him he’s probably a bad boy anyway. That’s always been my luck. He’s not even particularly cute anything…oh well back to the races

Maybe it just comes down to opposites attract.

Have you at least had an open and honest discussion with this one guy? Is he Catholic? Do you know if an annulment is something that he has looked into? If it took him several years to make a move, maybe he really isn’t a bad boy. Not that I am really one to make a call on something like that though.

 

[LittleDeb]

So I believe we need to let things like this be known from the beginning. Why would you want to set yourself up for a painful breakup later when you can figure out the inevitable in the beginning? Would you be willing to marry a man that had children already? If not, wouldn’t you want to know that he had kids right up front? Finding someone that can accept you just as you are and you doing the same in return is essential.

:yup: :clapping: Very well put! This was one of the things I discovered in my painful history of bad boys. I really didn’t know enough about them upfront. After awhile I was filling in things I thought I knew about them. Actually I was filling in things I wished about them.

Knowing a LOT about a person right upfront helped me finally escape the bad boy cycle. For a short while I went on a whole lot of first dates, and very few second ones. Then I met my husband…