Why do the " Bad Boys" get so many women?

[Nec5]

So why should a woman trade one jerk who doesn’t treat her very well for another jerk that insults her right out of the starting gate?

Because the second jerk is more honest about his jerkiness.

 

[Debora123]

Sigh

There should be a whole forum dedicated exclusively to bitter single men.

Then they can do what they like best - wallow in their self pity and talk about how stupid/mean/self-destructive women are.

 

[Debora123]

Sigh

There should be a whole forum dedicated exclusively to bitter single men.

Then they can do what they like best - wallow in their self pity and talk about how stupid/mean/self-destructive women are.

 

[Crescentinus]

Sigh

There should be a whole forum dedicated exclusively to bitter single men.

Then they can do what they like best - wallow in their self pity and talk about how stupid/mean/self-destructive women are.

How about bitter single women?

 

[feed_me]

How about bitter single women?

Amen

 

[Norseman82]

 

[exoflare]

Come to think of it, Our Lord did say that those who can take it, should make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, and St. Paul did advise that unless you are ‘burning’, you are better off not married.

/thread

 

[StarFireKK]

Because the second jerk is more honest about his jerkiness.

Okay, that was funny.

 

[StarFireKK]

Sigh

There should be a whole forum dedicated exclusively to bitter single men.

Then they can do what they like best - wallow in their self pity and talk about how stupid/mean/self-destructive women are.

I know, right!?!

And the ones that complain about being single (men or women, to be fair) always have a list a mile long of what they WON’T tolerate in their partner.

It always makes me think of the quote “We make plans. God laughs.”

I don’t know any married person that won’t cheerfully admit their spouse has some quality they swore they would never put up with but they found out it really wasn’t a deal-breaker.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Don’t fall in the trap of looking for a subordinate. Don’t be CEO that chases the secretary. Allow your loved one to be equal to you, just find a person who will not constantly undermine your decisions and be uncooperative. These are personality traits that many people have but then also many don’t.

I don’t know… I would think the capacity to keep me from mauling/obliterating/cursing my offenders just through sheer presence and pleas would make that person my equal.

 

[Debora123]

How about bitter single women?

Sure, if I see more of them around CAF and if they start a thread such as this one, then I will suggest that too. So far, that hasn’t been the case, obviously.

 

[Crescentinus]

Sure, if I see more of them around CAF and if they start a thread such as this one, then I will suggest that too. So far, that hasn’t been the case, obviously.

Personally, a simple thread can suffice for both since there are more guys who have this problem.

 

[EasterJoy]

How about bitter single women?

Date enough “bad boys”, and it can make a bitter woman out of you real quick.

 

[JimG]

Here’s a great publishing idea. If the “bad boys” get all the women, someone should publish a book with the title:
“The Complete Idiots Guide to Being a Bad Boy (and getting women)”.

Maybe it’s already been done.

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

Date enough “bad boys”, and it can make a bitter woman out of you real quick.

WORD!

 

[joshvanrad]

Date enough “bad boys”, and it can make a bitter woman out of you real quick.

I think it can also create the dangerous complex of seeking approval from them. Not all the time, but I think I have seen it in some cases.

 

[chevalier]

This is not a flame, but a clarification: I have had many male friends who I thought the world of and yet did not see myself marrying. I almost felt sad about it, because wow, somebody needed to catch that guy, but you know when it isn’t going to work. I was always delighted when they found the right women, and I can’t think of one who didn’t…well, except the one who was eventually ordained a priest, but he did find the right vocation, he’s happy as a clam being a priest, so that’s the main thing.

Yes, EasterJoy, I know. I have such friends too. I’ve also had lady acquaintances or friends I’ve very much liked, respected, considered to be beautiful and all, but for some reason (mostly a specific one, come to think of it), a romantic angle wouldn’t have worked out.

There is a third group you don’t mention: guys who were neither friend nor date material.

Well, I was being completely literal, actually. As in, totally face value. Just the realisation that for many women (and men too, this isn’t a gender-specific thought pattern), friend seems to be friend and boyfriend seems to be foe, at least in terms of category. Basically resulting in non-hostiles ending up in the friend zone.

Those, I simply avoided, and that was a fair number of guys. There were a fair number I might have been interested in as friend or date, but I got the same the signals myself sometimes, the signals are clear, and you move on.

Yeah.

It is not that uncommon for men and women to be friends for several years, both thinking “just friends” and then they finally see something they didn’t see before and, well, you know, maybe I need to give you a chance, and they wind up married. There are some great marriages that come out of that.

Of course. If you look at it from a certain angle it does seem to confirm what I said, anyway.

You are wise enough not to rush in to find someone to marry just to be marrying her. Let’s face it: you could find some “bad girl” who’d be happy to take you for a whirl, too, couldn’t you? You could probably find one of a hundred foolish or predatory women out and be dating her tomorrow, if you wanted.

Aww. Thank you for believing in me. I’m touched.

As I used to say though, it is smart to skip the marriage that isn’t going to work and to hold out for the one that will. You may wind up marrying somebody who wasn’t wise or fortunate enough to escape getting into an invalid marriage, you might find a widow, but at least when she finds you, you two won’t have your “ex” to deal with. Be thankful for that. It is a harder path at first, but much wiser.

Guess I’ve never told you how I started my adventure with canon law.

I hope you’re asking God to help. Keep being patient, though. You are on the harder path, but it is worth it. And don’t feel bad that so far you’ve only turned up a lot of good female friends. At least that means that you have what it takes to truly be a woman’s friend. If you truly are their friends, and not just the poor kid with his nose on the pet shop window because he can’t have a puppy of his own, it is excellent preparation for being a good husband.

Well, I wasn’t asking for personal advice or even thinking about myself in that post but still thank you for caring.

I don’t know… I would think the capacity to keep me from mauling/obliterating/cursing my offenders just through sheer presence and pleas would make that person my equal.

I’d really suggest a more real-life point of reference, LostWanderer. It’s fine like when one is young and all but at some point one’s got to toughen up, develop some realism, walk firmly on the earth, not living in a fantasy. And I say this as a proud gamer.

 

[Debora123]

Personally, a simple thread can suffice for both since there are more guys who have this problem.

No, both genders have this problem.

Only difference is men tend to complain about it way more.

 

[chevalier]

You completely missed my point.

Please spare the artillery! Mine’s already itching for some action and we gotta keep up the apperances!

My point was not you should support anyone’s stupid choices or say those choices are good. My point was being hyper-critical about a situation you are not in- NEVER puts you in the nice guy section. It makes you a jerk.

So why should a woman trade one jerk who doesn’t treat her very well for another jerk that insults her right out of the starting gate?

Well, I guess then my point was about some women being rather impossible to please, especially when they are in a heavily emotional stage of their lives where they’re going to make normal people into jerks for superficial reasons while sticking with the real jerks for their elusive good sides. This is a bit similar to liberal thinking or left-wing politics, come to think of it.

Oh, and one thing because I have to: If anybody actually manages to annoy me, it’s people who look for insults everywhere. You insult somebody if you, like, curse him or his family. Or deny him polite forms of address. If you run into a woman with a broken picker and fail to affirm her taste in guys, you are not insulting her. To put this the most charitably I can right now, such a woman needs to grow some thicker skin. Or, better, get in touch with reality.

No, both genders have this problem.

Only difference is men tend to complain about it way more.

Nah, not in my experience.

You’re definitely right that some women think like this, because I’ve seen it before. I have no idea how common it is though.

Common but not omnipresent. A noticeable minority, I’d say, one of several groups. Hard to assess the numbers.

I think it can also create the dangerous complex of seeking approval from them. Not all the time, but I think I have seen it in some cases.

Similar pattern to those observed in Stockholm Syndrome, Adult Children of Alcoholics, people who have had to put up with a narcissist. Or even a distant (somewhat antisocial) parent. You seek approval from those who treat you ill. You associate family roles with mistreatment. You basically have a warped idea of love. If not consciously, then in your actions. And I’m not bashing women too, I have a bit of that in myself to be honest. As in it’s hard to me to put an otherwise engaging and friendly woman on /ignore when she manages to deserve it by some warped behaviour. I guess some men too are fixers. It’s hard to shake off attraction and attachment (along with loyalty, care etc.) to someone who is obviously a poor prospect (this is a short-hand, really, it would pain me to categorise someone like this for real), but it needs to be done. Now matter how dark and handsome he is. Or whatever she is.

Date enough “bad boys”, and it can make a bitter woman out of you real quick.

Bitter isn’t bad per se, bitter and controlling it can even make for some interesting personality. Besides, few people are completely sane, let alone well-adjusted. One can always talk if she’s non-hostile.

I know, right!?!

And the ones that complain about being single (men or women, to be fair) always have a list a mile long of what they WON’T tolerate in their partner.

Depends really. Some just want a ‘good person’ and then nobody seems to be able to fit that description.

 

[EasterJoy]

Guess I’ve never told you how I started my adventure with canon law.

Uh-oh. Sorry to hear that! Well, it happens to the best of us.

Aww. Thank you for believing in me. I’m touched…Well, I wasn’t asking for personal advice or even thinking about myself in that post but still thank you for caring.

You seem like a good guy, and I say that without adding the qualifier “for a lawyer”!