Why do you think there are so few twentysomethings in the Church today?

[StGeorgesSquire]

If you attend daily Mass at my parish, you would find that about half of the attendees are college age. The last thing we have a problem with is too few twenty somethings attending Mass.

Haha I wish my parish was like that Perhaps the reason why my parish is like this is that the university here was once affiliated with the Lutheran church (ELCA I believe) and the nearest Catholic university to us is about thirty minutes away, so more college aged students like me would opt to move elsewhere

 

[Adamski]

Im in my early 30’s and most people that are at weekday mass are over 70 and I have become friends with them they have enriched my life a lot

 

[may_they_be_one]

Late to wed, late to have kids, late to church.

Actually, the research is saying it’s worse than that… many more are no longer doing the wedding thing…

This is a great source (introduced to me by another CAF member) which documents the serious need for a “new evangelization” in our parishes (and how to start): Forming Intentional Disciples, by Sherry Weddell.

 

[SecretGarden]

Re:Adamski mention of the Newman centre, we can’t only rely upon the Newman centres for a variety of reasons. Namely 1) they aren’t located at every single university and college in the world, therefore as wonderful as they are, we can’t give them all of the work to keep the young people inside the church. Secondly, parishes and arch dioceses need to step it up and begin to focus on the 12 to 35 age group. This is a vital period in people’s lives because they are deciding what they believe in, and as they get into the marrying age group if they will raise their children inside the church. We need them to remain inside the church, raise their children and continue the church. As we have seen, so far, the church has severly neglected this age group. Saying they will come back isn’t enough, because most don’t have the background. We need to develop programs to keep the remaining ones inside the church and other programs to bring the missing generation back. This new evangelization holds many new promises which is great, but I firmly believe, we need to look at the Evangelical churches are doing, and adapt it for our generation. Afterall most of those churches the young people are filling the church.

 

[Lady_Love]

There seems to be a huge gap between the spiritual needs of the older generation and the spiritual needs of the younger generation. When I talk to my Dad or anyone near his age they have a very stern, hard approach to religion. I’m not sure if this is due to the wounds incurred by the sexual revolution or what? I find a spirit that seems more controlling than loving.

I am Catholic and remained Catholic through my twenties when I was unsupported by my peer group for one and only reason. I fell in love.

I think anyone who abandons religion it is because they aren’t finding the love they need. Who’s fault is that? I wonder if it is because many hearts have gone cold and degenerated into following a bunch of rules? I love following the rules but my motivations are very different. The only reason I say that is because the spirit that is generated is accompanied by peace, gentleness, compassion and warmth. The spirit I feel in others (not everyone) is a cold and rigid following of the rules.

I have to go, I will finish this discussion later.

 

[SurlyMermaid]

Poorly catechized, parents not involved, “too many rules,”… that’s what I keep hearing.

My husband the other day asked me what religion Lent is practiced in. He then followed that up with “I forget… what’s the difference between ‘Catholic’ and ‘Christian?’”

He’s a lapsed Catholic, from a long line of Italian and Irish Roman Catholics. Go figure.

 

[OxygenMan]

I can’t really speak for other people, and I know this is only my own small experience, but I get really discouraged by what I see at my college. I’m 22 myself, and it seems that the great majority of people my age simply don’t care about spiritual matters.

Most seem just apathetic, while others are overtly hostile towards any kind of religion. But that’s what strikes me the most, how just so many of them don’t even think about it. They don’t think about existential questions at all. They don’t want to be bothered by them.

I’m certainly no saint myself. I know I get caught up in the material world too much, as well. But I am trying to serve God. I hope people my age may start asking these deep questions as they get older. But it troubles me to see so many people just disregard the human mystical functions. Sex and fancy living only bring passing pleasure, and they certainly don’t answer any questions.

 

[ErricFiggy]

In my experience, a lot of the reason is because they lack the “feel-good” feelings during Mass. I’m 18, and I’ve lost a lot of friends to other churches, and in every single instance, that was the reason why. They go to Mass and all they see is boring rituals. They don’t understand what’s going on and they don’t “feel” anything. So when someone invites them to their non-Catholic Christian service, the music, sermons, etc gives them the feelings they’ve been looking for. So they think “It feels good here, therefore it must be the right church…” If only they knew the beauty of the Mass and what was actually going on! If only they realized that God doesn’t depend on our feelings, and that something doesn’t have to feel good in order to be true. Again, I’m speaking from experience

 

[kkollwitz]

Here in SC, Catholics leave the Church for the non-denoms. As you say, “They don’t understand what’s going on and they don’t “feel” anything.” Yet we gain converts and reverts who realize this is the Church which Christ founded on Peter, and nothing else really matters.

You can’t live an adult’s life for them.

 

[pollynova]

There are many, many reasons.

The sex abuse.
The perception of being anti-woman and anti-gay.

Other churches are “easier” and they’ll let you have pre-martial sex, live together before you’re married, divorce, no obligation to attend services, etc. Why would you want to go to a church that makes you wait until marriage for sex, makes you go to confession, allows women to be ministers, allows ministers to be married, services are more engaging and fun, and on and on and on.

On the other side of the coin, you have fire and brimstone preachers talking about idol worship, worshiping Mary and the saints, having the wrong bible, being the whore of Babylon, etc. The Jack Chick-type protestants that see a conspiracy behind everything the Catholic church does appeals to a lot of people.

Atheism is also very appealing. You get bonus points for being a “free thinker,” and you just have to live up to the standards you set for yourself, which are usually pretty low. (When was the last time you saw an atheist give everything away to live in poverty to help others?) You can do whatever you want and not be held accountable. Have you ever read Mark Twain’s The Mysterious Stranger? At the end, when the main character is told by an angel that there is no God, heaven, or hell, he isn’t sad, he’s relieved. Who wouldn’t find that appealing?

 

[WildCatholic]

I think a lot of it is just plain laziness. I’m 23 and the story I hear a lot is that kids get dragged to mass by parents who don’t really know why they go either, if they go at all. Of course the kids then get communion and get confirmed and by age 12 or 13 their instruction is done or if they are lucky, they go through Catholic high school until 18 and then they don’t have their parents telling them to go to mass, and also don’t know why they have to, and thus they fall by the wayside.

In my area its especially bad because not only are there not young catholics, but there aren’t young people period since its a rural area that doesn’t really have a lot to offer. Thus the churches aren’t filled with anyone under about 30 and typically the average age is about 55, and even then there aren’t faith sharing groups for adults.

 

[Jade17]

NPR did a series on religion (so not as specific as leaving the Catholic Church, but still relevant) in January. It was really interesting. There was actually another thread on here that talked about it some as well, but you all might like to read on it a bit. It covers a lot of things you all are observing:

npr.org/series/169065270/losing-our-religion

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Where do you live? My parish doesn’t have too many young singles, but there aren’t too many in this part of town period.

We have a large high school crowd and see quite a few college-aged youth during the summer and Christmas breaks when they are home with family. However, the majority of young people don’t live out here in the 'burbs when they start working and get an apartment. Certainly some do continue living with or near parents (I did), but most do not.

And unfortunately many, many youth stop going to Mass altogether when they go away to school or move away from parents. Some of it is lifestyle (too lazy/tired to get up Sunday morning) and some is then thinking they are too sophisticated or educated for religion. (makes ya want to just smack 'em! )

Hopefully they return to the faith and church going when they start their own families if not before! Pray for them.

 

[SecretGarden]

We forget that when it comes to young people leaving the church, part of it has to do with the church’s lack of programs to educate their young people about what it teaches. We need to realize that over the centuries, Catholicism was a cultural thing. For example if you were Irish, Italian or French, Catholicism was part of your culture. The church had a strong political power inside the countries that everyone who was Catholic attended Catholic school, and they attended mass every week etc. The church took for granted it’s power and people were more complacent than they are today. In some cases they did what they were told. The clergy were seen as Gods therefore the church had a lot of power. An example of this power can be seen in the Islamic countries. Most of the people who live inside these countries by culture are Muslim, how active is everyone, I’m in no position to say. However, there are rules that everyone must follow regardless if they agree or not.

The world where Catholicism was once strong has changed dramatically. Interculturalism has become the norm. People are more free and they are questioning more their faith, their spirituality, even their sexual orientation.

Montreal, Quebec used to be known as city of churches. So many large former monasteries have been bought by universities and colleges and used to educate students. Churches are closing at a high rates because people no longer attend. Plus we have several generations who are questioning their believes.

When we speak about how the non Catholic churches are swallowing up our youth, most of the fault resides in both individual families who didn’t raise their children inside the faith by parents educating their children plus the church’s lack of programs. Furthermore, they make Christianity interesting, appealing and frankly more fun. I’m from the Pentecostal Church therefore I understand the appeal. It was so shocking when I found out that people from non-Catholic churches could join the Catholic church. This is simply not spoken about.

When we have others speak negatively about what the Catholic church teaches, we can’t be quiet mice, we need to teach the world what our church actually teaches.

 

[may_they_be_one]

We forget that when it comes to young people leaving the church, part of it has to do with the church’s lack of programs to educate their young people about what it teaches.

When we speak about how the non Catholic churches are swallowing up our youth, most of the fault resides in both individual families who didn’t raise their children inside the faith by parents educating their children plus the church’s lack of programs

…we can’t be quiet mice, we need to teach the world what our church actually teaches.

Agreed…

IMO-- we can sum it up as a lack of evangelization in the home, because the parents themselves aren’t evangelized. Instead, the majority are “rules followers” or “fearful” followers who go to Mass to avoid hell, but never learned that God REALLY loves them, or how to love Him back…

We can learn a lot–from one former confirmed Catholic–about what Our Father really wants to do in our lives: youtube.com/watch?v=YADP23GIudc&NR=1&feature=endscreen

Also, non-denom churches actively create venues for young adults. Hence, my desire to begin young adult group in my diocese. My goal is to have it open to Catholics, open-minded non-Catholics Christians (who aren’t anti-Catholic), and even unchurched seekers…

I want to try a mid-week or Fri night “service” which introduces them to the Father’s love, how to praise Him, and how to understand salvation. Also tackle tough subjects like the Church’s stance on marriage, contraception, abortion, etc, showing the wisdom behind the “rules”.

Anyone else seen good examples of young adult groups in their parishes?

 

[Reverie]

(Still, I remember feeling the same way you do in my 20’s)
.

like Kal, I also remember feeling this way when I entered the church in my mid 20s. I’m in my late 30s now, but I still feel like I’m the youngest whenever join any groups/ministry. Though I see a lot of young families in my parish now, they just aren’t joining anything which is disappointing.

 

[Young_Thinker]

like Kal, I also remember feeling this way when I entered the church in my mid 20s. I’m in my late 30s now, but I still feel like I’m the youngest whenever join any groups/ministry. Though I see a lot of young families in my parish now, they just aren’t joining anything which is disappointing.

Even so, that’s exciting to hear!

 

[MTurner]

There are more of us than you might think and the younger generation is starting to get more and more involved in the Church. We are apparently starting to wonder why our parents’ generation (no offense, Mom and Dad) did such a poor job teaching us about the faith. I’d try out some other parishes and some other Mass times. 20-somethings tend to not “belong” to a parish (i.e. register), but rather hop around from church to church depending on the weekend and their schedule and Mass schedules and friends and things. Because of this, many parishes don’t see a need to offer programs for our age group. Maybe see if there are programs offered at the diocese level- depending on where you live, there may be more activities than you think. See if your city has a Theology on Tap. (totnyc.org/) At a recent Theology on Tap in my diocese (filled with hundreds of 20-somethings), one of my friends remarked to me, “where do all these young adults come from? I see hardly any at my church!”. And yet, here they all were, practicing Catholics in their 20s and 30s. If your diocese doesn’t have any events, talk to your bishop. I guarantee there are tons of people in their 20s and 30s, where you live, wondering the same things you are.

Best wishes!

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I guess my husband and I are odd then? We are from the Deep South, so me being 23 and him 27 when we got married, we were considered “old” haha. No less, we are in our twenties and our faith is very important to us. We didn’t grow up in the Catholic faith, but both of the Christian denominations we grew up in were conservative. We still have conservative views on religion, politics, and social issues. I guess conservatism and religion are Southern attributes because I know of many twenty somethings who attend some type of Christian worship on Sundays.
He is in the military and meeting couples who are around our age from different parts of the country is kind of a culture shock for us. So many our age seem so liberal in all aspects of their lives. I guess we are just one of a kind. hahaha.

 

[RedSparklyShoes]

I remember being your age and wondering the same thing. There were teenagers and young married couples with kids. Where were the singles? I felt out of place for being someone who never stopped going to church in my 20s. I prayed fervently to find a man of God to marry (and we could talk denomination later, but it would be best if he was at least for a liturgical background).