Why do you think there are so few twentysomethings in the Church today?

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MTurner said:
There are more of us than you might think and the younger generation is starting to get more and more involved in the Church. We are apparently starting to wonder why our parents’ generation (no offense, Mom and Dad) did such a poor job teaching us about the faith. **I’d try out some other parishes and some other Mass times. 20-somethings tend to not “belong” to a parish (i.e. register), but rather hop around from church to church depending on the weekend and their schedule and Mass schedules and friends and things. ** Because of this, many parishes don’t see a need to offer programs for our age group. Maybe see if there are programs offered at the diocese level- depending on where you live, there may be more activities than you think. See if your city has a Theology on Tap. (totnyc.org/) At a recent Theology on Tap in my diocese (filled with hundreds of 20-somethings), one of my friends remarked to me, “where do all these young adults come from? I see hardly any at my church!”. And yet, here they all were, practicing Catholics in their 20s and 30s. If your diocese doesn’t have any events, talk to your bishop. I guarantee there are tons of people in their 20s and 30s, where you live, wondering the same things you are.

Best wishes! 🙂
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So true, especially the bolded part.
 
In Australia it’s because they removed learning about the Catholic faith from the School curriculum. IN CATHOLIC SCHOOLS.
Situation Ethics made it all seem like it didn’t really matter.
I felt the same thing in my 20s.
 
Reverie said:
like Kal, I also remember feeling this way when I entered the church in my mid 20s. I’m in my late 30s now, but I still feel like I’m the youngest whenever join any groups/ministry. Though I see a lot of young families in my parish now, they just aren’t joining anything which is disappointing.
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It’s just their stage of life. It’s easy to get busy, especially if you have a lot of kids and/or you are involved in other community groups. By the time 7 or 7:30pm rolls around, it’s just hard to get motivated to be out for a couple of hours after spending all day w/the kids or at work. Especially when the kiddos are really young and don’t sleep through the night. If I wasn’t doing RCIA at 7pm on one of the weeknights, then I’d be at home taking my kid upstairs to start getting on PJ’s and getting him ready for bed because that’s his bedtime.

The only reason why I know people at my parish is because of RCIA and just randomly finding out that people I knew outside of church attend the parish too.

At this time, it’s just not possible to be as active in my parish as I’d like to be. It will be different when he’s in school all day/he’s older.
 
We have plenty of twentysomethings who are intentional, practicing Catholics. Most of them were effectively catechized as kids; their parents were intentional, practicing Catholics; and they participated in substantial youthgroups in highschool. But others are converts out of Evangelicalism and Fundamentalism.

Here in SC there’s a statewide young adult organization call Lucis Via. They run their own affairs, with local chapters reaching across parishes, which is great for cross-pollination, if that’s the right term for it.
 
Secret Garden, you have the prize. Yes, the culture is the start. My grandparents were immigrants from Italy. Didn’t question anything regarding the Church. If the Fr said it, it is so. My mother is Baptist. I was raised Catholic. Not in Catholic schools, parents couldn’t afford it. Every Monday during the school year, we went to Catechism Class. The Baby Boomers, knew the ritual. You go here, do this and then when Confirmation comes around, you’re done. Yes, done.

I taught Confirmation Candidate classes for several years in Chas SC. My DRE at the beginning of every year, came to my classroom and posed a question. (1989-1993 time frame). Are you here because your parents made you come so you can make your Confirmation, or are you here because you have chosen your faith as a life long, Out of the 30 kids, well over half raised their hand to the first question. For Baby Boomer parents it seemed that taking their child for instruction once a week was a hassle and couldn’t wait until Confirmation was done, because then they were done.

Having attended my mothers church on occasion, you were “never” done. There was a progression of Sunday School classes for everyone for every age. Sunday Night Live was for teens and was held after evening church on Sundays. The college age also had a class, singles had a class, young marrieds, young marrieds with children, empty nesters and seniors. These classes were held usually after fellowship service on Sunday. There were services on Wednesday, usually prayer services, with classes afterward, and of course, Sunday morning and Sunday night. Can’t get there? A bus or van will pick you up and take you home. My Baptist grandmother’s church had 2 Greyhound size buses and many passenger vans. The Sunday Night Live teens went on many trips, as did the seniors. This is how they get the butts in the seat. Also, any money collected “stays” in that church and is not divvied up, like it is at the Catholic Church. When a teen goes to college, the preacher contacts the Baptist preacher of the college youth at the college, no matter “where” the college is located (they KNOW everyone), and introduces John or Jane as coming to the university in the fall, and “wham!”, the teen isn’t unpacking, and the leader of the college youth is knocking on the dorm door.

Worship services usually start at 10:00 and with the class afterward, you are lucky to get out just before 1 PM. You either go home for some of mama’s fried chicken or head to the Golden Corral, IHOP, or any other restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol. And Sunday night at 7:30, you do it again. This also true for Pentacostals (I dated a Pentacostal boy in high school).

Growing up, I remember going to Mass at 9:30 on Sunday (siblings and I) with dad, and heading to the Dunkin Donuts afterwards (were not allowed to eat before Mass). (this was in the late 60’s in MA). Mom would either cook some fried chicken (she is from SC) or we would pack in the station wagon and head to my dad’s parents house for dinner. Aunts, uncles, tons of cousins everywhere. Sports on TV, the men in the den with some Ballentines, cigars, and CC and gingerale. The ladies were in the dining room with some Italian wine, Virginia Slims and whatever they talked about. Us kids were out playing in Nonnas backyard.

I have been blessed, so to speak to see how faith works under the umbrella called Christianity. It seems the Catholic Church could take a page out of the Baptist book when it comes to evangelization. However, no drinking, no dancing, and contrary to popular belief…no rock n roll music.

I have never seen a bus, van or greyhound at a Catholic Church. When my Baptist grandmother was in the hospital, the church ladies came out of the woodwork. I didn’t see that when my grandmother (Italian) was hospitalized in 1968. It is “cultural”. My candidates did tell me they went to Sunday Night Live at the Baptist Church, because our parish didn’t have “stuff like that”. And to think some on CAF abhor Life Teen Masses. And you wonder why the kids lose interest. Think about it.😉
 
@ Juliana who said:
*>>I have been blessed, so to speak to see how faith works under the umbrella called Christianity. It seems the Catholic Church could take a page out of the Baptist book when it comes to evangelization. However, no drinking, no dancing, and contrary to popular belief…no rock n roll music.

I have never seen a bus, van or greyhound at a Catholic Church. When my Baptist grandmother was in the hospital, the church ladies came out of the woodwork. I didn’t see that when my grandmother (Italian) was hospitalized in 1968. It is “cultural”. My candidates did tell me they went to Sunday Night Live at the Baptist Church, because our parish didn’t have “stuff like that”. And to think some on CAF abhor Life Teen Masses. And you wonder why the kids lose interest. Think about it*.<<

Absolutely. It seems to me the major difference is in the concept of “obligation.” Once you’re done, you’re done. Got your Sunday Mass put away? You’re done. Made it to Easter Mass and received communion. You’re OK! It’s all good. But our brothers and sisters on the other side of the altar see it as their obligation to make room for everyone, any time, all the time. I confess I am bewildered and bemused by the many comments about failure to catechize. Recalling Aussieman88 saying catechesis was removed from the curriculum:blush:🤷 Stunned! So the question in the back of my mind keeps popping up: “What’s stopping us from doing that?” Is it lack of interest or lack of effort? Every Diocese I know of is looking for ways to involve Youth and Young Adults. There are tons of models - successful programs - that are already wonderfully effective (some of them are even Catholic like Theology on Tap (thank you MTurner). So maybe it’s a perfect storm of poor catechesis, too much emphasis on obligation, and too little … :eek:… commitment to creativity? Or maybe we need to just surrender to the Holy Spirit and get our hands and feet into getting it done? It is at once baffling and heart-breaking. There is such JOY to be had and no one to distribute it or receive it. …
 
Aussieman88 said:
In Australia it’s because they removed learning about the Catholic faith from the School curriculum. IN CATHOLIC SCHOOLS.
Situation Ethics made it all seem like it didn’t really matter.
I felt the same thing in my 20s.
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Ditto.
 
haastiin said:
@ Juliana who said:
*>>I have been blessed, so to speak to see how faith works under the umbrella called Christianity. It seems the Catholic Church could take a page out of the Baptist book when it comes to evangelization. However, no drinking, no dancing, and contrary to popular belief…no rock n roll music.

I have never seen a bus, van or greyhound at a Catholic Church. When my Baptist grandmother was in the hospital, the church ladies came out of the woodwork. I didn’t see that when my grandmother (Italian) was hospitalized in 1968. It is “cultural”. My candidates did tell me they went to Sunday Night Live at the Baptist Church, because our parish didn’t have “stuff like that”.* And to think some on CAF abhor Life Teen Masses. And you wonder why the kids lose interest. Think about it.<<

Absolutely. It seems to me the major difference is in the concept of “obligation.” Once you’re done, you’re done. Got your Sunday Mass put away? You’re done. Made it to Easter Mass and received communion. You’re OK! It’s all good. But our brothers and sisters on the other side of the altar see it as their obligation to make room for everyone, any time, all the time. I confess I am bewildered and bemused by the many comments about failure to catechize. Recalling Aussieman88 saying catechesis was removed from the curriculum:blush:🤷 Stunned! So the question in the back of my mind keeps popping up: “What’s stopping us from doing that?” Is it lack of interest or lack of effort? Every Diocese I know of is looking for ways to involve Youth and Young Adults. There are tons of models - successful programs - that are already wonderfully effective (some of them are even Catholic like Theology on Tap (thank you MTurner). So maybe it’s a perfect storm of poor catechesis, too much emphasis on obligation, and too little … :eek:… commitment to creativity? Or maybe we need to just surrender to the Holy Spirit and get our hands and feet into getting it done? It is at once baffling and heart-breaking. There is such JOY to be had and no one to distribute it or receive it. …
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Oh, did I fail to mention, Baptist’s put more money in the collection plate than Catholics. Their “marketing” system does work like enticing people to a fun vacation…but then you get hit with just about the same “rules” as the Catholics… there is an ebb and flow though with young people.

Lack-a-money for all the bells and whistles is also a sticking point. 🤷
 
Young_Thinker said:
Honestly, it seems like I’m the only one at my parish who’s between 19 and 35- either you’re in high school or you’re old and married LOL. Having converted a couple of years ago, I still kind of feel like an outsider- I joined the Knights of Columbus last year, but everyone else in my council is at least 40 (and my council isn’t particularily active as of late anyway), and lately I’ve been attending a Lifeteen Mass on ocassion at nearby church, but as a single 23-year old, I still left out and in a class unto my own. LOL Does anyone feel this way? Why are there so few young people (post-high school) who go to Mass? Boredom, overrationalism…?
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I was recently speaking to a priest at our parish about youth and mass attendance and he stated that it is very common for youth to go through a spiritual type of crisis between the ages of 16 and 24 and frequently stop attending mass during that time. He is a great priest and said he went through it himself.

Not really comforting but that could be why. Pray that God will lead you.
 
Adamski said:
Because there parents where lazy liberal hippies
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Because it’s always the parents’ fault, right?😦

Sure hope that you never spend your later years weeping over the choices of your children, even when you’ve done your best, only to have people make blanket generalizations about you based on false assumptions.
 
Tantum_ergo said:
Because it’s always the parents’ fault, right?😦

Sure hope that you never spend your later years weeping over the choices of your children, even when you’ve done your best, only to have people make blanket generalizations about you based on false assumptions.
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I think the person who posted that likely intended it to be taken with jest, or at least that’s how I took it.
 
I am deeply edified and impressed by the articulation, depth of thought and faith in this thread. You all have discussed many of my fears about the Church today and appealed to some of the things about which I have recently developed a passion. As I go through this, I apologize if I mention something someone said and don’t acknowledge them. It’s not intentional.

SecretGarden, in your first post you identified many causes for the situation about which YoungThinker asks. I am a product of those “early years.” Vatican II, Viet Nam and the social revolution all occurred almost simoultaneously. There was a move away from all that I thought solid and sacred. Although I rigidly professed my Catholicism, I failed to transmit it in a living way to my childrem, none of whom are involved in the Church now. The youngest is 35.

I highly recommend the book mentioned by may_they_be_one, “Forming Intentional Disciples,” by Sherry Weddell. The statistics she relates are frightening. One she presents is that the majority of Catholics who attend Mass regularly–once a month or more, I believe–are my age (65 tomorrow) and older. Folks, we’re not going to be around that much longer. Additionally, and many people in this thread mentioned this, many people are just not going to church any more and many others are not getting married in the Church or not getting married at all. The end result is that there aren’t too many little Catholics running around any more and there will be fewer born.

Ms. Waddell indicates that the most prevalent reason for falling away is the emotional one. My daughter says that she doesn’t feel loved in the Catholic Church. I hear much on Sunday, “I just don’t get any good feelings from going to Mass.”

I shout, “Amen,” to those who have in this thread stated something to the effect that, “They don’t understand the value and beauty of Mass and the Eucharist.” But who will and how do we teach this? This question is currently burning a hole in my soul.

In my own experience, the book “Jesus of Nazareth,” by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger opened my heart and my mind to Scripture and to Jesus. But it’s not an easy read. There’s so much that I have had to go back time and time again to internalize what he said. Another book of his “Theological Highlights of Vatican II” lead me to start reading the documents from that Council. What the documents say is so much different than what I’ve heard and the reason for what I’ve seen for things like not regular participation in the sacraments and a move away from conscience.

But the problem remains. How does one motivate people to learn? How does one demonstrate, not only to the “twenty-somethings,” who are the future of Catholicismm, but to those adults of all ages, that Catholicism is not a list of rules, but a faith deep in tradition and a journey to know the Father through His Son, Jesus?

Yes, I am passionate about these things and am trying to get something started in my relatively inactive parish. At this juncture, however, I’d better stop. I don’t want to violate the “length of post” rule. 🙂
 
I think it is because we have secularized the liturgy so much. We don’t offer them anything that is aesthetically different from what they experience on a day to day basis.

All people have an intrinsic need for Truth, Goodness and Beauty. The “Holy” is something “wholly other”. It is not like a rock concert, R&R in the rec room, a night at the comedy club, or fun in the spectator stands at a football game.

We can reach them through evangelization in the above, but Mass is something different. The fact that they are human beings is sufficient enough to have confidence that they will be able to pick up on the difference, and even be spiritually moved by it.
 
Disciple_I_Hope said:
I am deeply edified and impressed by the articulation, depth of thought and faith in this thread. You all have discussed many of my fears about the Church today and appealed to some of the things about which I have recently developed a passion. As I go through this, I apologize if I mention something someone said and don’t acknowledge them. It’s not intentional.

SecretGarden, in your first post you identified many causes for the situation about which YoungThinker asks. I am a product of those “early years.” Vatican II, Viet Nam and the social revolution all occurred almost simoultaneously. There was a move away from all that I thought solid and sacred. Although I rigidly professed my Catholicism, I failed to transmit it in a living way to my childrem, none of whom are involved in the Church now. The youngest is 35.

I highly recommend the book mentioned by may_they_be_one, “Forming Intentional Disciples,” by Sherry Weddell. The statistics she relates are frightening. One she presents is that the majority of Catholics who attend Mass regularly–once a month or more, I believe–are my age (65 tomorrow) and older. Folks, we’re not going to be around that much longer. Additionally, and many people in this thread mentioned this, many people are just not going to church any more and many others are not getting married in the Church or not getting married at all. The end result is that there aren’t too many little Catholics running around any more and there will be fewer born.

Ms. Waddell indicates that the most prevalent reason for falling away is the emotional one. My daughter says that she doesn’t feel loved in the Catholic Church. I hear much on Sunday, “I just don’t get any good feelings from going to Mass.”

I shout, “Amen,” to those who have in this thread stated something to the effect that, “They don’t understand the value and beauty of Mass and the Eucharist.” But who will and how do we teach this? This question is currently burning a hole in my soul.

In my own experience, the book “Jesus of Nazareth,” by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger opened my heart and my mind to Scripture and to Jesus. But it’s not an easy read. There’s so much that I have had to go back time and time again to internalize what he said. Another book of his “Theological Highlights of Vatican II” lead me to start reading the documents from that Council. What the documents say is so much different than what I’ve heard and the reason for what I’ve seen for things like not regular participation in the sacraments and a move away from conscience.

But the problem remains. How does one motivate people to learn? How does one demonstrate, not only to the “twenty-somethings,” who are the future of Catholicismm, but to those adults of all ages, that Catholicism is not a list of rules, but a faith deep in tradition and a journey to know the Father through His Son, Jesus?

Yes, I am passionate about these things and am trying to get something started in my relatively inactive parish. At this juncture, however, I’d better stop. I don’t want to violate the “length of post” rule. 🙂
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I loved this post. The culture that has formed your children is almost all-pervasive. It really is a quandary. With such a concerned and devout mother, I believe that, eventually, in God’s time, your children will return to the Faith.

Prayer and example are sometimes the only things that can be done. Which isn’t a bad thing, as they are really the most effective things anyway!

How sad it is to be misunderstood, and our Faith is greatly misunderstood by many, many people. Hopefully, through the mutual love you have for one another, they will return.
 
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