Exact same situation here with mostly the same Irish culture. A couple of the Irish Catholic uncles married German Catholic wives. They weren’t exactly shrinking violets either.
It’s important to note, though, that all these women also taught their daughters, including me, that a man and his masculinity were to be respected. That doesn’t mean you follow his orders, but you also don’t make him look bad or weak in front of others, because that’s not the right way to treat a man you love. You give him support. I think a lot of women kind of learn to do this naturally, the same way a lot of men naturally learn “Happy wife, happy life,” or their father or grandfather teaches them that.
And I also agree the “submissive” stuff seems very Protestant Evangelical.