The two of you need marriage counseling. That is the only loving thing and reasonable thing I’ve heard you say yet. There are clearly issues here involving expectations, involving communication – both of which relate to passion and affection, and (therefore) to the health of a marriage. In counseling, you will discover how to respect her, because any decent MFCC will point out any lack of respect, mutually. The counselor will show you (both of you) what you value, by how you speak to each other and about each other. (You present it as if “she” needs it; right there is an indication of how much you need it as well.)
Your OP and your second response demonstrates the typical pattern of why couples in situations of impasse need counseling: one person is giving a distorted version of the story. You paint yourself to be a reasonable, caring husband who “naturally” doesn’t want this and that, and who describes his wife in sometimes grotesque terms. So (while looking around for a high-quality marriage counselor), you should purchase some of those trashy issues of “Star” magazine at the grocery store checkout line. They often have “tell-all” photos of actresses and other celebrities not In Their Finest – specifically with
--need I say the word-- cellulite. (Forgive me, God; surely cellulite horrifies you; you, God, must despise the very aging process which you put into place as a FACT OF LIFE.)
These famous actresses have cellulite on their butts, thighs, knees, wherever. You just don’t see that in the photoshopped pics on magazine covers. And you just don’t happen to know that virtually all actresses at the Oscars walk down those red carpets with special squeezing underwear that flattens tummies, midriffs, and thighs. Plastic surgery? You disparagingly refer to your wife who will supposedly need that? Many actresses have had the same, and not just on their faces but all over, and do so regularly. In order to maintain their attractive public exteriors, they need to spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours maintaining a facade so that they will continue to be marketable to the public and to their producers and directors.
The gym and diets aside, the aging process marches on against time,
even for those with abundant discipline and money, and is a universal absolute, progressing eventually toward death. Wait: I guess you have no Love Handles
. You must have Washboard Abs.
A little more on the differences between men and women. Genetically, men are not nearly as prone to the “sag” effect of weight gain, and gain more easily restore a look of muscle and tightness because of their hormones and skin cell makeup which are programmed for tightness, as long as men don’t completely let themselves go. There’s a reason for that: it’s evolutionary. Males have needed physical strength for the physical tasks associated with hunting, building, defending, and more; therefore, God designed their bodies in a certain way. Women,
even rich, famous women, will generally have a tendency toward softness of body, which also fits with an evolutionary role aligned with nurturing, cuddling, and a life mostly “meant” to be lived indoors.
So for you to compare you supposed workouts, and what they do for you, with what you probably expect the same would do for her (and in the same length of time) is not very realistic, biologically. The only women I’ve seen who are able to achieve that have bodies unlike most women, and/or are obsessed to the point of body-building with that muscle-sinewy effect that every sexy man I’ve ever met despises and finds a
turn-off. Most men do not want women whose bodies resemble men’s. But women who resemble women will develop cellulite. Deal with it, sir.
