Wife is OBESE

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Kit15 said:
As far as Jimmy goes I think the only thing he is guilty of is not appreciating how difficult overcoming a weight problem really is…or at least completely failing to come across that way on the net. This isn’t the kind of thing that can be done easily, completely, and quickly.

I also found the prayer to be passive aggressive. It is possible to pray for someone’s change of heart OFF the Internet and not where the person you’re calling out can see it.

Seesh. Have some tact.
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me too.
 
jimmy said:
Everyone agrees he’s a jerk. The difference that some people say so because of the way he talks about her, the others say so because he has the gall to say he isn’t physically attracted to her and thinks she should try to workout.

Yeh there is a difference between caring about the person and their appearance, but last time I checked marriage was still recognized to be a sexual relationship as well as a spiritual one.
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Are you married?
 
MushroomMan said:
Well some people here have decided I am some sort of troll so I guess I will take my dilemma elsewhere. For the record I am 100% real and being open and honest here but whatever I don’t need you to believe me. I now see I should not have turned to fellow Catholics but thank you to all who did offer support and advice. I will see if she is willing to go to a counselor and I will pray for her too thank you. And PS if you think this is not a widespread problem with so many people packing on lots of weight you are nuts. What man wants a hefty helga? You are tricking yourselves if you think men dont want attractive wives and I assume no woman wants a big fat man either.
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Ok, good-by, hope you get a wife you want and desever. :D:popcorn::bounce:👋
 
Serap said:
you actually seem to me like a nice guy. marriage has it’s ups and downs, but I personally would rather be married now that I’m married 🙂
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Hahaha, I was expecting to get torn apart after you asked whether I wanted to get married. I wasn’t sure where it was going. Thanks for the compliment.
 
jimmy said:
And kit, when I congratulated you on the half marathon, it was out of admiration and respect. I would like to someday run a marathon. I am not in that kind of shape now though.
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I know… I’m actually not as bothered by you as I might have seem. You are blunt…maybe overly so at times…but I never actually thought you were being mean or attacking. The fact that you expressed appreciation for my efforts proves that. It’s like the Mother Theresa quote mentioned earlier related to efforts being more important than results. Trying is better than doing nothing.

I do believe that a sense of self-disgust is unhealthy and uninspiring. I see room for improvement in myself. I believe I have to change myself…some days I feel that more strongly than others. I am NOT disgusted with myself. My appearance is only one part of the whole me.

A good part of that has to do with my husband. He wants me to be healthier but not like my worth to him or his love for me depended on it.
 
Tact. The issue is tact jimmy. Not the message itself but the way in which it’s delivered.
 
jimmy said:
No, that was made clear already.
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Okay, then whatever you post about marriage is theory only, from the outside looking in. You won’t really experience it until you take those vows.
 
I take it as a compliment that you guys say I am blunt. I tend to think I have been dishonest for most of my life due to a lack of bluntness. By avoiding to give my opinion or to be straight forward I haven’t been clear about myself or where I stand. I don’t lie outright, but maybe through silence I give a false impression. I am trying to change that. It isn’t easy to change the way you talk to people.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Okay, then whatever you post about marriage is theory only, from the outside looking in. You won’t really experience it until you take those vows.
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Ok, that is true. I accept that I am speaking hypothetically in relation to marriage. But I am a man and I have sexual desire. I have been in relationships too, so I have some understanding.
 
jimmy said:
I take it as a compliment that you guys say I am blunt. I tend to think I have been dishonest for most of my life due to a lack of bluntness. By avoiding to give my opinion or to be straight forward I haven’t been clear about myself or where I stand. I don’t lie outright, but maybe through silence I give a false impression. I am trying to change that. It isn’t easy to change the way you talk to people.
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Jimmy, if you want a woman who will take care of her appearance, look for a woman who loves being physically fit. Look for a women who makes exercise part of her life and makes it a priority. Look for a woman who reads nutritional labels and watches her caloric intake.

When I met my hubby, we were both health fanatics. We were both really into health and I have been exercising at the gym since I was 22 and haven’t stopped. Due to time, I now use my lunch breaks to go to the gym. It’s a huge priority for me and it’s part of my lifestyle and always will be.

If this is important to you, find a woman who makes this a big priority in her life. Share this priority with her b/c if you let yourself go, I can guarantee that this type of woman would have little patience for a spouse having an unhealthy lifestyle.

Just giving you a heads up b/c you admitted that you would want your wife to be healthy after she has kids.

It’s not shallow either buddy. It’s important to me too and I found a husband who shares my view on health. We are both in our 40’s and very fit b/c that’s our lifestyle choice.
 
So I’m younger than both of y’all and I understand the importance of tact.

That being said, I very rarely pair up my actions with that knowledge!
 
jimmy said:
Hahaha, I was expecting to get torn apart after you asked whether I wanted to get married. I wasn’t sure where it was going. Thanks for the compliment.
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I thought she was setting you up.
 
The_Bucket said:
So I’m younger than both of y’all and I understand the importance of tact.

That being said, I very rarely pair up my actions with that knowledge!
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Hahaha, I have an excuse. I’m a man, don’t I get a break for lacking tact? It isn’t my strong point.
 
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