Would this be considered "shacking up?"

[jmcrae]

Hey, thanks for making me feel like an idiot.

No, I really don’t know. Do you realize that I am the only one in my family who has NOT shacked up? I don’t know how this is supposed to pan out. That is why I am asking for advice, not to be admonished for not knowing something I was never taught.

Sorry - it’s just shocking to me that people are this badly educated about marriage. Even Barbie the doll knew that she couldn’t live with Ken until after the honeymoon trip to Malibu Beach.

 

[mikew262]

Would you not agree that it is in the appearance where the sin lies?

No, I would not agree. Appearances can be decieving. No sin has been commited if they stay within the guidelines she stated.

 

[StratusRose]

Sorry - it’s just shocking to me that people are this badly educated about marriage. Even Barbie the doll knew that she couldn’t live with Ken until after the honeymoon trip to Malibu Beach.

Ok, now that’s just insulting. I am not badly educated about marriage, just the logistics of when to move in. If you read my earlier posts I talked about moving my stuff in a week before and staying with my brother or a friend after the wedding. Go back and read.

 

[jmcrae]

and what happens if there is no honeymoon…does she have to wait for it to happen (the honeymoon) before she can walk into her own house ???

Don’t play the idiot. They stay in the reception hotel for one night after the wedding reception, right? So, if they’re not taking a long trip, then that’s their honeymoon, and she moves in the next day.

Or, they leave on their honeymoon trip from the hotel the next morning, and when they get back from the trip, she moves in with him.

There’s no need to complicate it, nor to justify a lot of excuses.

 

[jmcrae]

]Ok, now that’s just insulting. I am not badly educated about marriage, just the logistics of when to move in.

“When to move in” is after the wedding has taken place.

If you read my earlier posts I talked about moving my stuff in a week before and staying with my brother or a friend after the wedding. Go back and read.

Okay, now you’re talking about moving your stuff in. I guess you can have someone move your stuff in when you don’t need it to live, at the place that you’re staying.

But that’s a totally different ball game than “moving in.” You don’t “move in” until the whole wedding is well finished.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

You can have your bridesmaids move your clothes and stuff to his place on the morning of the wedding

As a bridesmaid to multiple women in the next year. I can honestly say that I would tell the bride where to stick it if she asked me to move her in to her new home on the day of the wedding. I will have shelled out an arm and a leg for dresses, showers, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, tanning, waxing, toenails and fingernails and gifts. I will have sacrificed my pride wearing pink taffeta and plum tulle. My feet will ache, I will dance with creepy Uncle Leo. I will be forced to dance with guys I don’t know. I will put on my best smiley face for all the pictures. IAnd to top it off she wants physical labor to. HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA not gonna happen. I beleive I would say something like… " I was wondering where I was going to draw the line!"

 

[StratusRose]

“When to move in” is after the wedding has taken place.

Okay, now you’re talking about moving your stuff in. I guess you can have someone move your stuff in when you don’t need it to live, at the place that you’re staying.

But that’s a totally different ball game than “moving in.” You don’t “move in” until the whole wedding is well finished.

Ok great. Thanks for the “sage” advice.

 

[jmcrae]

Ok great. Thanks for the “sage” advice.

Just making sure - apparently we can’t get too kindergarten-basic, these days.

 

[StratusRose]

As a bridesmaid to multiple women in the next year. I can honestly say that I would tell the bride where to stick it if she asked me to move her in to her new home on the day of the wedding. I will have shelled out an arm and a leg for dresses, showers, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, tanning, waxing, toenails and fingernails and gifts. I will have sacrificed my pride wearing pink taffeta and plum tulle. My feet will ache, I will dance with creepy Uncle Leo. I will be forced to dance with guys I don’t know. I will put on my best smiley face for all the pictures. IAnd to top it off she wants physical labor to. HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA not gonna happen. I beleive I would say something like… " I was wondering where I was going to draw the line!"

Really! I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to move my stuff in unless they owed me a huge favor. My MOH would in fact tell me to shove it where the sun don’t shine! (But in a nice way.)

 

[StratusRose]

Just making sure - apparently we can’t get too kindergarten-basic, these days.

Well it’s a good thing we have people like you around to remind us of our elementary thinking.

 

[jmcrae]

And to top it off she wants physical labor to. HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA not gonna happen. I beleive I would say something like… " I was wondering where I was going to draw the line!"

Whatever - I did my niece’s. No big deal - it’s not like you’re moving furniture, or anything big - just her makeup and clothes, and maybe a few sentimental decorations. It takes about half an hour.

 

[dkoinzan]

I am so proud of you for asking. I can believe there are people who just don’t know. Look at the world we live in. Reality sometimes gets totally turned around. I have had to tell elementary teachers to not allow 10 year olds to play on adult web sights at a Catholic school. I have had to tell Catholic school teachers that you can"t teach children about birth control.
I have even had to tell the teachers that the 14 week old child that I miscarried was a baby. You keep asking all the questions you need to.

 

[Karianne]

As many of you know, I am about to be married in about 4 months (see counter below). My fiance and I have been thinking about moving to Southern Maryland, which is where we are both from to be closer to our families. His parents are getting older and need help around the house, and we both love it down there.

My fiance was offered a very good job down there this morning. He has to go thru a background check, which he should pass, and when that’s done we are going to buy a house.

Here’s the thing. I would like to move out of my apartment as soon as possible. I don’t have much of a kitchen besides a sink, dorm fridge, toaster oven and microwave. It’s an attic apartment, very small, don’t have my own entrance, etc. On top of that the rent is high, and I’d rather put my money toward a lifetime investment, like a house.

First of all, congratulations on your coming marriage!
Second of all, no, that would NOT be shacking up, shacking up would be that you two fool around in a girl-boy way and you don’t even have to be in a permanent place for that to happen.

When two folks are in love it’s very hard tokeep their hands off each other but if you think that you can handle it go ahead, I’m fully aware of the fact that housing is expensive, and your money would be better spent on a home for you and your future spouse.

The only thing that may be damaged might be the mystique of you …if he gets to live with you before marriage.

God knows what is in your heart, as long as you can face Him at the end of the day, don’t worry about what others may think.

 

[Karianne]

No, I would not agree. Appearances can be decieving. No sin has been commited if they stay within the guidelines she stated.

I agree, Mike.
I wonder if those who are so against this move were not able to stay virtuous before marriage and are, therefore, worried that the young lady would make the same mistake?

 

[Karianne]

Whatever - I did my niece’s. No big deal - it’s not like you’re moving furniture, or anything big - just her makeup and clothes, and maybe a few sentimental decorations. It takes about half an hour.

You had a different style of wedding then. My niece had a hotel room for herself, the hairdresser and the make-up people.

 

[Karianne]

As a bridesmaid to multiple women in the next year. I can honestly say that I would tell the bride where to stick it if she asked me to move her in to her new home on the day of the wedding. I will have shelled out an arm and a leg for dresses, showers, shoes, hair, makeup, jewelry, tanning, waxing, toenails and fingernails and gifts. I will have sacrificed my pride wearing pink taffeta and plum tulle. My feet will ache, I will dance with creepy Uncle Leo. I will be forced to dance with guys I don’t know. I will put on my best smiley face for all the pictures. IAnd to top it off she wants physical labor to. HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA not gonna happen. I beleive I would say something like… " I was wondering where I was going to draw the line!"

How on EARTH did you allow this thing to happen!?
Multiple weddings would pluck my last nerve.

 

[Karianne]

Don’t play the idiot. They stay in the reception hotel for one night after the wedding reception, right? So, if they’re not taking a long trip, then that’s their honeymoon, and she moves in the next day.

Or, they leave on their honeymoon trip from the hotel the next morning, and when they get back from the trip, she moves in with him.

There’s no need to complicate it, nor to justify a lot of excuses.

She can move in whenever she wants to move in. If they don’t fool around it’s not shacking up…at least not in the sense that Americans use that term.
Perhaps it’s different in Canada.

 

[Catholic90]

Whatever - I did my niece’s. No big deal - it’s not like you’re moving furniture, or anything big - just her makeup and clothes, and maybe a few sentimental decorations. It takes about half an hour.

Really???

Hmmmm, when I moved in years ago, I had a bedroom set, chairs, couches, dressers, clothes – no make up, though. I don’t do paint.

It took me, my fiance at the time, both my parents, both his parents, and several friends about 1/2 a DAY to move everything. Then somebody had to return the rental Uhaul.

I can’t possibly imagine moving somebody else in and then being in a wedding!

 

[SeekerJen]

Really???

Hmmmm, when I moved in years ago, I had a bedroom set, chairs, couches, dressers, clothes – no make up, though. I don’t do paint.

It took me, my fiance at the time, both my parents, both his parents, and several friends about 1/2 a DAY to move everything. Then somebody had to return the rental Uhaul.

I can’t possibly imagine moving somebody else in and then being in a wedding!

Yeah, same here. I had a bunch of furniture from my college apartment, clothes, food, kitchen appliances and cookware, dishes, flatware, electronics, etc.- not to mention all the bridal shower gifts. I can’t imagine expecting someone else to move that stuff for me.

 

[OldAgeGuru]

How on EARTH did you allow this thing to happen!?
Multiple weddings would pluck my last nerve.

Because I am a sucker… Lots of wine and chain smoking has aided me through the last three months. I’m nominating myself for sainthood in 08… st. Elizabeth of New England patron saint badgered bridesmaids