You know you're a Catholic if

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You go to Confession over one serious, moral sin that you are SURE that you’ve committed, and all you can think as you go sliding into the parking lot of the church at just about the same time as the posted ending time of Confession hours… and all you can think about is that “commercial” on EWTN where that woman is just about running into the church at the same time that the priest has decided that there will be no one actually coming to get Confession, and so he’s leaving. She says “am I too late?” and the priest says, “Never too late!” – and the screen goes to just the words:

Is our Faith. Let’s live it!!

And the priest at this church is STILL in the confessional, hearing the confession of someone before you. There’s no line… so you breathe a sigh of relief, hoping against hope that he won’t have to stop hearing confessions to get ready for the Mass that will be starting in a half hour, like at your own parish.

And when you go in, you wind up having all the time that you need to confess, and the priest starts to discuss it with you, telling you that it wasn’t a sin – that you were just weakened!

Knowing for sure that you weren’t as clear as you needed to be, you keep giving more information… but the priest insists on saying “you haven’t sinned, but I’ll give you my blessing.”

You freak out because you KNOW that it was a conscious decision that you made to do that sin… and insist that you want the absolution because you NEED that grace! And so the priest says “Although THIS was NOT a sin, I absolve you of ALL your sins. Say 3 Hail Marys as soon as you leave the confessional.”

And you breathe a sigh of relief! Only when you finish your 3 Hail Marys (thinking that it was a pretty LIGHT penance!) do you realize that this priest spent a half hour, discussing the situation in which you were sure that you commited that sin, and he was sure that it was just you being weak.
 
You know you are a catholic when you can’t reach the spare change in your pocket without taking out your thumb rosary first.

When waiting on the bus, in the car, or doctor’s waiting room, you begin the rosary.

You recite the rosary when the fire engines go past your house.

You give the sign of peace to all the people you gossiped about last week and who gossiped about you.

You see someone you don’t like on the street and wonder if you should go to confession before receiving communion in line behind her.

Your husband stops buying kindling for the stove because you have stacks of Watchtowers bundled up next to it.

Your neighbors think there is a death in the family because of all the JW’s dressed up like insurance salesmen coming to your house.

Your idea of landscaping includes concrete statues of St. Francis and the Virgin Mary with or without pink flamingos and gnomes.
 
You know you’re a Catholic 🤓 when you set your Outlook calendar to ring the meeting reminder at Vigils, Lauds, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers and Compline every day.
 
Veronica_Anne said:
You go to Confession over one serious, moral sin that you are SURE that you’ve committed, and all you can think as you go sliding into the parking lot of the church at just about the same time as the posted ending time of Confession hours… and all you can think about is that “commercial” on EWTN where that woman is just about running into the church at the same time that the priest has decided that there will be no one actually coming to get Confession, and so he’s leaving. She says “am I too late?” and the priest says, “Never too late!” – and the screen goes to just the words:

Is our Faith. Let’s live it!!

And the priest at this church is STILL in the confessional, hearing the confession of someone before you. There’s no line… so you breathe a sigh of relief, hoping against hope that he won’t have to stop hearing confessions to get ready for the Mass that will be starting in a half hour, like at your own parish.

And when you go in, you wind up having all the time that you need to confess, and the priest starts to discuss it with you, telling you that it wasn’t a sin – that you were just weakened!

Knowing for sure that you weren’t as clear as you needed to be, you keep giving more information… but the priest insists on saying “you haven’t sinned, but I’ll give you my blessing.”

You freak out because you KNOW that it was a conscious decision that you made to do that sin… and insist that you want the absolution because you NEED that grace! And so the priest says “Although THIS was NOT a sin, I absolve you of ALL your sins. Say 3 Hail Marys as soon as you leave the confessional.”

And you breathe a sigh of relief! Only when you finish your 3 Hail Marys (thinking that it was a pretty LIGHT penance!) do you realize that this priest spent a half hour, discussing the situation in which you were sure that you commited that sin, and he was sure that it was just you being weak.
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Been there done that !!!😃
 
I was called to a parent teachers conference today. My poor daughter who has always been in catholic school now attends freshman public high school. Her teachers are very concerned by her lack of emotional and social maturity. She became upset in geography and refused to attend future classes because daily the teacher finds shocking sexual anecdotes to relate from the news in current events. One day it was the rape of a mother by a son. Another it was a girl who pierced her breast which got infected and it had to be cut off. The next day it was a girl kidnapped and sexually assaulted for four years. Every single day for months. My daughter got enough. Told me she could turn off the the TV or Law and Order but she could not turn this teacher off. She was overloaded with these news anecdotes and they all concerned violence toward women. The teacher is a man. He laughs a lot about breasts and actually commented that my daughter needed a more supportive bra as hers were sagging. He told me today in front of the other teachers that my daughter was emotionally immature and socially retarded because she was disturbed by his stories. He told me the other students were not bothered at all. I told him he and his students were socially retarded as these stories did not bother them- they were too desensitized. Out of five teachers, only two agreed with me. But both of these teachers are Cactholic and the vice principal who set up the meet to get the paperwork rolling are catholic as well. I suddenly realized we four and my daughter were Catholics. I have no idea who the others are. Needless to say, we are going to the school board.

So, you know you are catholic when backwards speak becomes comprehensible. When you realize that your fourteen year old daughter is more socially mature than her teachers and class mates and this causes them to call her socially retarded.
 
tequilamac said:
I was called to a parent teachers conference today. My poor daughter who has always been in catholic school now attends freshman public high school. Her teachers are very concerned by her lack of emotional and social maturity. She became upset in geography and refused to attend future classes because daily the teacher finds shocking sexual anecdotes to relate from the news in current events. One day it was the rape of a mother by a son. Another it was a girl who pierced her breast which got infected and it had to be cut off. The next day it was a girl kidnapped and sexually assaulted for four years. Every single day for months. My daughter got enough. Told me she could turn off the the TV or Law and Order but she could not turn this teacher off. She was overloaded with these news anecdotes and they all concerned violence toward women. The teacher is a man. He laughs a lot about breasts and actually commented that my daughter needed a more supportive bra as hers were sagging. He told me today in front of the other teachers that my daughter was emotionally immature and socially retarded because she was disturbed by his stories. He told me the other students were not bothered at all. I told him he and his students were socially retarded as these stories did not bother them- they were too desensitized. Out of five teachers, only two agreed with me. But both of these teachers are Cactholic and the vice principal who set up the meet to get the paperwork rolling are catholic as well. I suddenly realized we four and my daughter were Catholics. I have no idea who the others are. Needless to say, we are going to the school board.

So, you know you are catholic when backwards speak becomes comprehensible. When you realize that your fourteen year old daughter is more socially mature than her teachers and class mates and this causes them to call her socially retarded.
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I staff the Harassment Committee in a medical school. The “content” you describe would be considered as contribiuting to a hostile work environment. What in the world does this have to do with geography? I am guessing that you will take a lot of heat from administration, but in the end, this guy will be disciplined and/or removed.

You may be “socially immature” (:rolleyes: ) but I’m guessing that the law will be on your side!
 
mercygate said:
I staff the Harassment Committee in a medical school. The “content” you describe would be considered as contribiuting to a hostile work environment. What in the world does this have to do with geography? I am guessing that you will take a lot of heat from administration, but in the end, this guy will be disciplined and/or removed.

You may be “socially immature” (:rolleyes: ) but I’m guessing that the law will be on your side!
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I used to work at a mental health agency that treated kids who had developed SED (Seriously Emotional Dysfunction). The cause of SED is primarily from experiences foisted (is that even a word?) on them by parents, teachers, or other adults (or near adults) in their lives.

Bottom line – your daughter’s teacher has been emotinally abusing her, and sexually abusing her (sex is more than – and can be and sometimes is – other than “physical”). He’s traumatizing her. How is she supposed to develop emotionally and healthily when accosted by those messages? Even once… at the wrong time in a person’s emotional development… sticks, even at “only” in her subconscious mind.

Your daughter really SHOULD get some sessions with a MSW (mental health counselor) to help her to deal with what is surely already been affected in her, from having to hear that stuff. And not even being able to hope that one day, maybe tomorrow? that teacher will NOT emotionally abuse again.

I’m not going overboard, here. I’m very serious.

If a teacher had tuberculosis and was coughing all over your daughter… wouldn’t you have your daughter checked out by a doctor? Same thing… that teacher is inflicting sexual abuse / emotional abuse on your daughter and everyone else in that class.

I don’t even care that nobody else “has a problem” with it. It’s still a fact that he, himself, is in some way “acting out.” I dare to say that he, himself, is not “quite there” all the way…

I’m praying for your daughter, you, him, and all the children (teens though they may be)… as well as the school administration.

If she were my daughter, and I did not get the result that I was insisting… I, myself, would find out from the Police Department what recourse I had to bring him to a legal consequence of his assaultive actions.

But first, I’d say a rosary… and ask the other Catholics to whom you’re referring to say a rosary with you, too.
 
I don’t even care that nobody else “has a problem” with it. For some reason, they are choosing to deny the reality. They may not even KNOW or REALIZE that they are in denial about it. It’s still a fact that he, himself, is in some way “acting out.” I dare to say that he, himself, is not “quite there” all the way… What he’s doing is his way of dealing with something else in his life. Unfortunately for him, as well as for the teens in his classes, he’s in a state called “avoidance.”

In actuality, if/when you bring charges against him… you’d be doing him an Act of Mercy – Instructing the Ignorant.
 
you know you’re a Catholic when your most embarrassing teenage moment is going to the movies with friends and genuflecting when you enter your row…
Not kidding!!! Anyone know how long it takes to live that one down?
 
…your first thought when someone tells you that something you’re hoping for is impossible is to start a novena to St. Rita.

…you walk into a Protestant church and automatically look for holy water and then fight the urge to genuflect before you sit down.

…you’re trying to find an apartment and wonder if there’s something similar to the tradition of burying a St. Joseph statue to sell a house for apartment hunters.
 
While watching Star Wars you have to bite your tongue whenever anyone says “May the Force be with you” to keep from responding “and also with you”

Your friends don’t bother asking you what you’re singing, since they know it’s probably in Latin anyway.

You have an inate ability to find a church, or the correct spot in the missal, at a moment’s notice.

When you hear sirens you cross yourself without thinking, sometimes in mid sentence.

Your friends are also confused as to why you appear to cross yourself while driving for no particular reason, until they see the church that caught your eyes (even though they don’t know why you cross yourelf)

While in a phone booth you feel more comfortable kneeling, and suddenly wish to tell the other person on the phone intimate details about your life.

Your idea of a great first date is an hour of Adoration followed by a rosary.

You think Jesus probably played Bingo.
 
Edwin1961 said:
You know you’re Catholic if the electricity goes out in your house and you can’t tell the difference because of all the voltive candles are lit.

…when on your coffee table you have a copies of ‘This Rock’, National Catholic Register, Your Sunday Visitor, your Bible and two months worth of church bulletins.

Edwin
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What? No New Oxford Review? 😉
 
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Edwin1961:
You know you’re a Catholic when you make your cat eat seafood on Fridays!
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You’re REALLY Catholic if you make your cat and yourself eat only bread or vegetables on Fridays because you suspect you both enjoy fish too much 😃
 
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