You know you're a Catholic if

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You know you’re Catholic when you have a choice of watching either

Joan of Arcadia

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=3850

The Princess Bride

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=3850

a special presentation on John of the Cross at EWTN!

ewtn.com/tv/index2.htm
stlukeproductions.com/videosplays.asp

Saint John of the Cross: The Living Flame of Love
In Leonardo’s warmly moving portrait, St. John of the Cross is seen as a man in love with God, whose exquisite poetry touches a chord in every heart that cries out for a deeper relationship with our Beloved Lord. Although his works have in the past been relatively unknown in this country, Saint John of the Cross was the greatest poet that Spain has ever known. Includes excerpts taken from historical sources on the life of this Spanish Carmelite, and selections from his beautiful poetry and prose.
 
Don’t really have any jokes, but that St. John of the Cross program was very awesome.
 
You know you’re a Catholic if, you spend most of your holiday on the Forums!
I’ve checked in at least 3 times today.

Go with God!
Edwin
 
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Edwin1961:
You know you’re a Catholic if, you spend most of your holiday on the Forums!
I’ve checked in at least 3 times today.

Go with God!
Edwin
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I’ve got you beat. I’m on 4 or 5. 😉
Oh, well. Nice, relaxing way to spend a holiday.

James
 
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Ham1:
You know what “GIRM” means.

You actually have used the word “GIRM.”

You find yourself in deep conversation at the end of a party talking about …the GIRM.
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That is so funny…and probably sad since it’s happened to me!
 
You know your a nerd if your idea of a fun weekend is going to watch Fr. Corapi preach. And- maybe have a beer afterwards.
 
1.) How about when you go to garage sales, you constantly look for religious items to “save.”

2.) You collect cute little phrases like
PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) or
Code: 
  FROG  (Fully Relying On God)
3.) You have a hard time holding a conversation without mentioning God or something religious.

4.) You get into trouble because you spend WAAAAAAAAAY too much time on this forum.
 
a pilgrim:
Good ones, diaconate!

Here are a few more…

You might be a Byzantine Catholic if…

…and then something like “How much longer??”
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Good ones! how about a couple more?

when you hear, “let us complete our prayer” and you expect to spend another 1/2 hour on your feet

When you have a bumper sticker that says, “If you love Jesus, honk 100 times.”
 
James_2:24:
No, but I had a dumb/weird dream… When the consecration was taking place, instead of the priest saying the words of consecration… the congregation yelled out, “ISIS, ISIS, RA, RA, RA” and that took the place of the words of consecration.

I left the pew calling everyone heretics… I walked across the street and entered into a Eastern Cathoilc Church… then I woke up…

weird stuff…
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I had a dream that when it was my turn to receive the holy Euchartist, when I got to the rail it was Jesus saying "This is MY BODY, (not Body of Christ.)
I still swear I wasn’t asleep. What a feeling!
maggiec
 
I once had a dream that three friends of mine were dressed as priests and playing with a Ouija board on the sanctuary of my church. They saw me and started singing “Bloody Mary is the Girl I Want” from the musical “South Pacific”, whereupon every statue in the church began dripping blood. It was odd… :confused:
 
…you’re flipping through the free calendar you got from your parish, looking at all the Saints’ days, and listing off who they are and what they did for the benefit of your Protestant husband. Said husband, after about a dozen such listings, shakes his head and walks away rather bemusedly.

(This actually happened last weekend. I hadn’t realized I’d actually absorbed that much “Saint knowledge”.)
 
renegadearchtct said:
*
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mrS4ntA:
ROFL!! :rotfl: good one!
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*you have ever considered naming one of your possible children after one of the more obscure Fathers of the Church. **

Indeed!

Here’s my family sample:
  1. Uncles: Anselm, Conleth, Isidore, Phillip, Patrick, Gregory
  2. Mum: Scholastica
  3. Grandpa: Benedict (St.Scholastica’s Twin Bro.)
  4. Dad: Gabriel
  5. Aunties: Bernadette, Theodora, Agatha, Maria Philippa (A Cloistered Visitation Nun), Sabina(A Holy Rosary Sister)
    OK. Not exactly “family” but my dog “Teddy” is officially named after Theodosius the Cenobiarch (because he came to us on that feast).
    http://www.goarch.org/images/eImages/SMALL/THEODOSI.JPG
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Khoria Anna:
Good ones! how about a couple more?

when you hear, “let us complete our prayer” and you expect to spend another 1/2 hour on your feet
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:rotfl: At my friend’s (adult) Byzantine confirmation, about the third time this happened, my husband leaned over and whispered in my ear: “What’s he going to do next? Chant the Kreb’s cycle?”
 
:confused:You know you’re not Catholic when all the jokes made in this thread make absolutely no sense to you!!! 😛
Have a great weekend!
 
You’re on a discussion board, and folks are talking about what they’ve seen that they really like on TV… and the discussion gets into LOTR… and you are sure they mean “Life on the Rock!”

ewtn.com/rock/index.htm

And are dismayed when they’re talking about “Lord of the Rings”, written by Oxford Professor John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, instead.

thelordoftherings.com/

Though, you see the clearly (at least to YOU) Christian theme that underlies the story… especially when you see Question #7 on this Lord of the Rings Character Test…

zovakware.com/tests/lordoftherings.htm

because it is SO clear to you that it’s about that parable of the talents that our Lord gave to us for how to live our lives to follow Him.

**If you first encountered the One Ring, you would be most likely to…?

Use it to gain power
Use it to hide from adversaries
Reject it without using it
Don’t know, and you’re glad you’ve never been tested **

In case anyone’s interested… my results:

Bilbo Baggins

If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Bilbo, Hobbit, uncle of Frodo and finder of the One Ring.

Yikes!!! the finder!! was it ME that started this whole thing?!? And all I did was answer “don’t know… and glad I’ve never been tested”

So you go into an immediate Examination of Conscience around sins of omission that you may have committed…
 
darwindidntknow said:
:confused:You know you’re not Catholic when all the jokes made in this thread make absolutely no sense to you!!! 😛
Have a great weekend!
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Welcome to our discussions, darwindidntknow! Just stick around, and these jokes will sink in.

:whistle:

Um… I looked up your Personal Profile… sadly, I’m ignorant about what a Christian-Hedonist is… could you please educate me on that?

Thanks!

👋
 
when one of those Sealy mattress commercials on TV that ends their pitch with a comment that Sealy is a sponsor of the Olympics, and you see:
  • the long jumper jumping up onto the top level of the bunk bed and the first thing that comes to your mind is the phrase , wow… that’s sure taking a Leap of Faith!
or…
  • two individual twin beds aligned against the wall each with a sleeping woman… and both are going through their synchronized swimming routine with their legs in their sleep, simultanously of course, you’re reminded of what it means to be part of the Communion of Saints
:cool:
 
Whether you’re standing or sitting, you instinctively and swiftly lift up the kneeler with just one deft toss of the top of one foot… without blinking!
 
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